Find a healthy way to release your anger, kids. :c
Blue had never felt this angry before. He was angry so much, so he knew what anger felt like. Choler at something, someone, he was used to. This directionless, floating anger whose cause he couldn't pinpoint or explain… This was new. This was horrible.
He couldn't figure out what was fueling his fire, so he couldn't determine the spark of the issue. Without knowing the source, he couldn't work on a solution. There was nothing he could do. Absolutely nothing.
And that made him furious.
He was all but shaking with the rage he had no name for, fists clenched tightly in an attempt to contain the storm that threatened to start. What had started this, who had been the droplet that broke the dam, what could possibly…? Questions raced through his head faster than he could answer them, and it took everything he had not to scream.
He had to get out. Had to do something before he lost it. He stormed to his trunk, throwing things aside until he grasped the handle of his hammer and yanked it out. Stalking out the door to his room, he ignored his brothers and broke into a run, sprinting into the woods without a backwards glance.
He had to get away; the only rational thought he clung to right now- and sought to fulfill before he snapped- was the fact that the others were not the cause of his anger and did not deserve to bear it. He could not hurt them in his rage.
He ran until his lungs burned, only staggering to a stop at the sight of a rotting, run-down shack standing in the shade of an evergreen tree. It was obviously decades old, and decades abandoned. Blue charged towards it with a roar, smashing his hammer into the door. The weakened wood splintered instantly with a shrill creak, and he found himself stumbling into the dank insides of the cabin.
It stank of mold and decay- for his purposes, it was perfect. Blue lunged forward again, swinging his fist at the wall with a shout. It gave, and he was up to his wrist in the torn wallpaper and crumbling drywall. He pulled his hand out, giving the wall a mighty kick and knocking out the inlaid wooden support. In a musty cloud of dust, the wall crumpled under his might.
Breathing heavily, he drew back and repeatedly drove his mallet against the remainder of the wall until there was absolutely nothing left standing intact. "Hah… hah… hah…" He still felt it. Giving an angry and anguished snarl, Blue turned sharply and ran for the wall opposite.
He threw all his weight into his shoulder, ramming it against the cracked and water-damaged partition. It stood no chance against him, and he stumbled as he utterly destroyed it. It wasn't enough. He charged into the adjoining room, bringing his hammer down onto the spindly wooden table and feeling only a small surge of satisfaction as it flew into pieces. Not enough.
Blue was no longer thinking, driven by the blind urge to take out his anger. He stormed out of the room, sprinting up the stairway and cursing angrily as his foot punched through a rotting floorboard. He yanked it out, heedless of the sharp throbbing it produced, and continued on his rampage.
He stumbled into the old bathroom, gripping the edge of the dingy mirror on the wall and yanking mightily until it tore free. The sound of glass shattering was deafening, and more than one shard cut and injured him. He felt none of it, kicking a path free and sweeping out of the room.
Next in his path was a smaller bedroom, the floor of which was absolutely laden with possessions. Anything in his path got trampled, crushed underfoot or kicked against the wall with enough force to leave dents. He crossed the room to the wardrobe, pushing, tugging, and straining until he was at last able to topple it. It crashed to the floor with a sickening thud, the old wood cracking. Blue hastily jumped out of the way, breathing hard. It still wasn't enough; he still felt furious, he needed to destroy something with his bare hands.
There was nothing left in this room, so Blue swept out of there and made right for the master bedroom at the end of the hall. He shoved the door open with such force that the hinges rattled dangerously; he doubled back, yanking on the door until the rusted hinges gave way to the rotten wood and it splintered. He turned his attention back to the rest of the room, breathing hard.
The bed, coated in dust and reeking of mold, was still covered in threadbare blankets and surrounded by four wooden posts. They were clearly in bad shape and begging to be destroyed. Blue tore out one of the rotted bedposts, using it like a staff to swipe away at the miscellaneous collection of items atop the dresser.
He kicked at the other bedposts, running to the dresser afterwards and upending it as well. He leapt back out of the way of the debris, scowling and casting his gaze around the room for more targets. The room was sparse but there was one thing left, standing in the corner.
There was a tall object, covered with a moldy sheet of fabric. It was the only thing left in the room that Blue hadn't destroyed, and it was about to join the rest of the house. Blue dropped the battered post, rearing back and smashing his fist into the object as he gave a frustrated, angry scream.
What he did not expect was for the surface under his fist to be made of glass, which shattered upon impact. He jerked back with a pained cry, tearing off the decaying fabric to discover the remnants of another mirror underneath it. The glass was broken and bloodied where Blue's fist had broken it, and in the cracked mirror Blue saw what he looked like at that moment.
His left hand was bleeding profusely; the mirror has cut it up badly, but the early encounter with the wall in the entryway had broken the skin in the first place. Blood formed a webwork pattern on the back of his hand, and now that he took more than ten seconds of rest he noticed how painfully it was throbbing.
Dust coated his clothing, and small drops of blood from his hands were spattered here and there across his tunic. The last mirror had sent little shards of glass his way, and a scratch here and there attested to that. His face was shiny from exertion, marred by a cut from the glass, and his own expression scared him. He was glaring fiercely, and in his gaze there was nothing but blind fury. His eyes were wild and almost manic looking, sending chills down even his spine.
And they called him a hero.
Just like that, Blue's anger died, replaced with something akin to shame. How dare he lose himself like that, how dare he embark on such senseless destruction... How dare he give in to that anger.
Blue stared at his reflection for a very long moment, tearing himself away to get out of that place. He kept his head down, ignoring the obvious signs of his rampage like the splintered wood, bloody shards of glass, and dents along the wall where he'd carelessly slung his hammer.
He was ashamed of himself. He stumbled out of the place without a backward glance, hastening to get as far away as he could. If he'd have cared to look, he would have noticed a small person creep into the building after he'd left, and survey the damage he'd wrought with not anger but deep sadness. He didn't look, though, so he never saw.
He doggedly kept up a forced pace away from the wreck of a shack, heading deeper and deeper into the woods until he finally came to a stop near an old tree. It was huge, with gnarled roots rising out of the ground and twisting in convoluted patterns with themselves before dipping into a small, bubbling creek.
Blue hauled himself up onto the base of the tree, wedging himself into a crevasse formed by the roots. He was sore. He was bleeding. He felt heavy. He was tired. There was a hard lump forming in the back of his throat, stinging every time he swallowed and threatening to bring tears to his eyes. He wouldn't cry; that was weak. He had no reason to cry.
He did anyway.
-.-.-.-.-.- end.
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((Optional slightly happier add-on ending))
Blue's head snapped up as he heard soft footfalls approaching him. He drew his sleeve across his eyes, scowling slightly. "Who's there?" He knew those footsteps.
The person entered his view, stopping hesitantly and staring up at him. "Blue..." Of course, it was him. It was always him. The only person Blue didn't want to see him like this was of course the one who would always come looking for him.
"Red..." Blue mumbled in acknowledgement, hiding his hands and lowering his gaze so Red might not see the damage he'd caused to himself. Red frowned, trying to climb up onto the roots to get closer to him.
"Blue, I... I heard you leaving, and uh... By the time I decided to follow you to make sure you were okay, you had gone into that building and... I heard.. Well, you sounded so angry, I didn't want to get in your way and risk.. well..." He trailed off, playing with his hands.
Realizing what Red was implying, Blue shook his head vehemently. "Never."
"... Never what?" Red asked with a hint of confusion.
"I'd never hurt any of you if you showed up when I was... Well..." Blue gestured vaguely, prompting a concerned gasp from Red.
"Blue, your hand!" He tried again to scramble up the roots, unsuccessful once more. "Oh my Goddesses, are you okay?"
Shit. "I'm fine, don't worry about it," Blue denied, hiding it again and scooting away from Red.
"No you're not, Blue, let me see it," Red ordered, unable to reach him. "Come down here right now!"
Blue made the mistake of looking at him, and he saw the determined, worried pout. He couldn't say no now. With a resigned sigh Blue inched down to where Red was, stumbling as his feet hit the ground. His ankle was not stable at all; had he twisted it when he got it stuck in the stairs?
Red's concerned frown deepened, and he hastily assisted Blue in getting up. "Oh, Blue, what did you do? Here, come over this way and sit down." He took hold of Blue's arm, helping him limp over to one of the roots near the stream. "Take your boot off and I'll- n-nevermind, just lift your foot and I'll do it." He changed his mind upon seeing Blue's hand.
Blue saw no point in resisting, and he was definitely too tired to put up a fight. He obediently lifted his foot, letting Red tug his boot off to examine his ankle. "Oh, Blue..." His ankle was definitely injured; it was red and swollen. "What did you do to it?!"
"I think I twisted it; got caught in the stairs..." Blue mumbled.
"It doesn't look twisted, exactly..." Red debated. "But you definitely messed it up. Here, scoot over here so you can put it in the water, that'll cool it a little." He helped Blue maneuver close enough to put his foot into the stream. "When we get home we can bandage it."
"Okay..." Blue sighed, feeling a little bit of relief as his foot hit the water.
Red crouched next to the stream, taking off his hat and turning it inside out before wetting it and turning back to Blue. "Give me your hand, Blue."
Reluctantly Blue extended his hand towards Red, who took it carefully and started dabbing away the partly congealed blood. "Goddesses, Blue, what happened to this?"
"Wall.. Mirror..." Blue listed off dully, frowning at his knees. "I was dumb." To say the least. "I don't know why, I just... I was so angry, I had to get it out somehow. I didn't wanna stay and risk hurting you guys, so I ran, and then just... Yeah."
Red's expression was sad and concerned. "What made you so angry?"
"I don't know." Blue answered honestly. "It was just sort of everything going on, and I guess I just... Snapped." He finished in a whisper.
Red frowned softly, finishing with Blue's split knuckles. He squeezed his other hand gently before getting up and wetting his hat in the stream again, returning to carefully wash the dried blood from the cut on Blue's face. "You don't have to keep all that anger inside you, you know."
Blue snorted softly, turning his head away from Red's fussing. "Actually, I do. Everyone gets pissed when I vent it out; it's less trouble to keep it in."
"No, Blue, that's not healthy," Red shook his head, trying to get to the cut on Blue's face again. "If you keep it in, then things like this are bound to happen more often, and you'll hurt yourself- dammit, Blue, look at me when I'm trying to help you!" The sudden outburst of frustration from Red caught Blue's attention, and he glanced back in slight surprise. It was rare to hear Red curse in anger of any sort.
Red was frowning at him, fists planted on his hips. Blue didn't hold his gaze for long, back to staring dejectedly at his knees. If things were messed up enough that Red was angry with him... He heard Red sigh softly and step closer, and in a second he felt Red cup his face in his hands, gently lifting his head up.
"Blue..." Red whimpered, sounding on the verge of tears. "I just wanna help..." He moved closer still, sliding his arms around Blue's neck and cradling Blue's head against his chest. Blue had no fight left in him to resist even if he wanted to.
He wrapped his arms around Red's lower waist, burying his face in his shoulder as Red brought up a hand to tenderly stroke his hair. "M'sorry..." He mumbled muffledly.
"What for?" Red's voice was confused.
"For being dumb and hurting myself like this and having you come out after me."
Red shook his head, resting his cheek against the top of Blue's head. "Don't be- everyone has bad days. I just want to be able to help you, but I can only do that if you let me."
Blue sighed deeply, not answering Red just yet and instead focusing on his heartbeat and his breathing to help calm himself down further. He frowned slightly as he felt Red's breathing grow irregular, and hitches started appearing in his breathing as Red started to sob.
"Blue, why won't you just let me in and let me help?" Red whimpered, tears finally overflowing and trickling down his face. "I care about you, I don't want you to be so angry! I want you to be okay!"
Blue softly rubbed Red's back as the smaller Link pressed his face into his hair. "Shh..."
"I'm not going to stop crying just so we can move on and go on about as normal! Nothing will have changed and you'll still be like this!" Red pulled back with as angry of a glare as he ever managed, frowning. "I don't like being angry and stubborn, but I will be if I have to! I won't let this go until you're okay..."
His expression lost its fire, and he took a seat on the tree root beside Blue. "Please let me help..." He bit his lip, trying to get a handle on his tears. Blue turned, raising a hand and dabbing at Red's face with his sleeve. Red heaved a shaky sigh, taking Blue's hand from his face and holding it in both of his. "Will you let me?"
There was a long moment of silence, where Blue just stared at his damaged and bloodied hand in Red's small, unmarked ones. Finally he gave a stiff nod, whispering, "Fine..."
"For real, Blue." Red's stare was tearful but firm.
"I said fine- I want you to help me..." Blue whispered, grip on Red's hand tightening. "I just... Help."
Red leaned in, holding fast to him and suppressing sobs. "I will- I'll help you however I can, I just want you to feel better! I swear I'll make things right."
"If anyone can, you can." Blue croaked, shutting his eyes with a sigh. "Help..."
This is almost a year old, ha. Sad to know I've been having this issue for so long. I had to get out my irrational anger somehow, and the first thought I had was to write it. So forgive if it doesn't make the most sense, I was writing in the 'flow of the moment' or whatever and kinda wanted to keep the frantic furious feeling I had tapped into.
It hasn't really gone away, but.. Blue can handle things better than I can, so he gets to deal with it for a while. He also, unlike me, has success when he asks for help. :c And he's stronger. But hell, maybe I can channel some of that sometime. I dunno.
Hope you liked it...? I just figured I'd post this for shits. it's not even really a story, just a vent piece. but yeah you can still R&R if you want ;3; thank you for reading
~Artimus-Maora