"Wait…. I'm a bit…," Ianto looked away. "I'm just not sure at the moment."

"Not sure of what?" Jack asked, brow furrowed as he reluctantly removed his lips from Ianto's hip.

"This."

"Why? What's different?"

Ianto gave him a look. "Are we on the same timeline? Granted, it's entirely possible we're not, so that's not strictly a rhetorical question. Jack… you no sooner get back from being abducted by your Doctor – for a year that wasn't a year for me but damn well felt like one - but that John tosser comes running after you. Do you not think I might be a little confused about where exactly I stand in all of this?"

Jack sighed and rolled aside. "Where you stand is entirely up to you, Ianto."

"No, it isn't, Jack. I'm not like your lawless John, or your here-and-gone Doctor, or your fairy-chaser – now there's a laugh – or -"

"Well, I'm nothing like Lisa. What does it matter? I'm not comparing you to anybody, that's you doing it yourself."

"That isn't fair. You know it isn't."

Jack sat upright. "What's not fair is losing every single person I've ever loved. Age, injury, sickness, betrayal… you name it. And the knowledge that I have nothing but the same to look forward to… forever."

"I guess forever's a little out of my grasp," Ianto said quietly, getting out of bed and looking for his shorts.

"Ianto, wait," Jack called after Ianto, following him into the kitchen.

"Wait for what?" Ianto asked defeatedly. "You've all but told me I can't handle really knowing you, you still refuse to show me who you are…. I can handle weevils and pterodactyls and cyberpeople and literally living in rift in time and space… but I can't handle knowing you?"

"I never said that," Jack said blankly. "I'm not trying to hurt you. I don't want to shut you out. But how do I show you…? Ianto, I've lived a thousand different lives. Most days, I can't handle knowing me. There are so many things I fight thinking about every day, so many things I can only hope will never show up in my life again - it's all I can do to turn it off and keep going. And there's only two things that help… keeping our little corner of this planet safe and… the feeling I get when I'm holding you."

Ianto sighed and moved to put his arms around Jack. "This is always going to be complicated, isn't it?"

Jack bowed his head to nuzzle Ianto's neck. "I sure hope so."