Reality Ensues

Summary: A clichéd beginning is impaled by the icy spear of reason.

"And so I needed to ask if you'd be willing to train him, to prepare him for what is to come," Dumbledore said, solemn and calm.

Evangeline raised an eyebrow. "What makes you think I give a single damn about ''any'' of what you just said?"

"You would leave the fate of a nation in the balance?" Dumbledore asked, somewhat alarmed. "This could spill over beyond us, and be a global threat... you must see reason!"

"First of all, what part of 'I'm an evil vampire' haven't you understood yet? I really could not give any less of a damn about what happens to your country. Second, a global threat? That's just hilarious. You could just pay Death Glasses to deal with it, it shouldn't be more than a few days' work for him. And third, the moment that this problem spills outside the Wizarding World, I'm sure Megalomesembria will probably crack down and wipe you all out for good. And good riddance, I say," Evangeline ranted.

"It is your country of birth. Would you forsake us so easily?" Dumbledore tried one last time.

"If I ever return, it will be to bring about an ice age on your asses, so, yeah, I totally would."

"I see. I shall trouble you no further," he said, and, offering a bow like he was instructed to, left Evangeline's cottage.

Evangeline turned back to her MSX 2 and the game of Metal Gear she was playing while Dumbledore ranted.

"Seriously, what kind of idiot thinks I'd agree to train some random kid I've never met before?" she muttered to herself as she guided Solid Snake through his mission.