Hi all! AmaiTsumi from tumblr here~~~~

This is a translation of a popular KidLaw story by Ginshirou on pixiv. She has kindly allowed me to translate this wonderful work and share it with everyone, so do enjoy the story!

Warning: M content in future chapters. Crazy amounts of angst. Slightly OOC.

Human beings are such complicated creatures. When they develop a desire for something, there is no stopping them from achieving what they want. The desires make their hearts hunger and crave. They find joy in thinking of ways to sate their desire, and revel in carrying out those thoughts. They act like children, bawling as if their favourite toy had been broken. And when they achieve their desires, they smile with joy and bask in supremacy. That is the nature of these frightening creatures known as humans.

However, the more forcefully they try to achieve those desires, the more easily they get hurt. More often than not, it ends with separation and regret. That is also the nature of these foolish creatures known as humans.

XXXXXX

...There was someone he wanted above all others.

Someone who was extremely precious to him.

Someone he couldn't even imagine losing.

XXXXXX

"I've got a girlfriend."

That was what Eustass Kid told Law four years ago.

The can of coffee he had been drinking crashed to the ground, spilling onto his clothes. The wind blew, and the now-empty can rolled away from him, yet Law did not notice as he stood staring at the man beside him, his mind totally blank.

"Oh... Congrats," he was unable to force a smile to go with the words. Kid sighed and crouched down.

"You got coffee all over your uniform. It'll definitely stain. What were you doing?" Kid asked as he pulled on the hem of Law's soaked trousers, looking up to his face.

"Sorry..." Law murmured as he stared at the coffee slowly seeping up his trouser leg. It was a cruel shock. His mind refused to register Kid's words.

Refused to comprehend what he had just heard.

Before he knew it, he was back home, curled up in his bed. His mind was reeling, stained uniform all but forgotten. He was too late.

Someone else had stolen Kid away before he could even voice his feelings.

Sorrow and hate rose up in his heart. He viciously fought them down, as thoughts of how he could get Kid to notice him started running through his mind.

He knew that he was being irrational, but he couldn't stop himself. Kid not being at his side hurt.

He did not want to imagine losing his place beside Kid.

He had to do something.

"...Eustass-ya..." He whispered as he gripped the sheets tightly, the need to make Kid his dominating his mind.

XXXXXX

Fours years passed. She had been inseparable from Kid, clinging to him tenaciously, giving Law no chance to confess his feelings. In the end, there was nothing Law could do, apart from seething with jealousy at the sight of the couple.

'If only they broke up.' 'I wish they would break up.' 'I'm sure they will one day,'

Thoughts like these kept Law going. However, their relationship had remained strong through the past four years.

And then, four years after that initial shock, it happened again.

"I'm thinking of marrying her after we graduate from college."

It was winter, their final year in college, and it was as cold as that day so long ago, but this time, they were no longer in uniforms. Law was clad in a deep blue duffel coat and leather boots, with white fluffy gloves on his hands and his face almost hidden within a muffler.

However, the can of coffee he was holding seemed like the one he had held all those years ago. Even the way it fell from his hands onto the ground and splashed onto his boots felt exactly the same.

"...What about your career...? You don't even have money yet...right?" He couldn't stop the doubts spilling from his lips.

"I told you that I'll be taking over my dad's factory, right? And I've been saving up all this while. We won't be getting married immediately of course, but I wanna get engaged first... And you dropped your coffee."

"...Oh," Law looked at the smiling Kid, wondering if they had indeed travelled back in time.

Law had first met Kid back in high school, and before he knew it, he had fallen for the redhead. Unable to work up the courage to confess, he had let the days go by, telling himself that he was content just being by Kid's side. Up until that day.

Even after that, he had managed to comfort himself. 'It's alright, she's just a girlfriend. It's ok, I'm still able to remain by his side.'

Kid had introduced her to Law shortly after that, and she had come across as a quiet and gentle girl. At that time, thoughts of sabotaging their relationship had surfaced in his mind, but he had blocked them out.

Now, he regretted not doing it.

Kid crouched and picked up the fallen coffee can, aiming and throwing it into a garbage bin nearby. He gave a satisfied smirk when the can sailed right in with a clunk. A frown took over his features when he looked back at Law, before stretching out a hand to ruffle his hair, "Hey, don't look so worried. It'll be fine. You're both equally precious to me, I promise I won't neglect our friendship."

"...Ok," Law sighed. 'That's not it. You don't understand,' he wanted to say, but the words wouldn't come.

"Anyway, let's go back. It's cold, and you need to take care of those," Kid tilted his head to indicate Law's coffee-stained boots. Law knew that the coffee could be easily wiped off, since his boots were made of leather. Unfortunately, he had no tissues with him, so he nodded and the two hurried towards Kid's place.

XXXXXX

It was Friday, and they had made plans to hold a quiet drinking session over at Kid's apartment. Classes had ended in the afternoon, and the two had met up at the usual place in the evening, behind the strange-looking statue outside the train station. After that, they had gone to the nearby supermarket, where they bought some snacks and beer while chatting about trivial matters. Law had spotted a vending machine and bought coffee as well.

Until that point, everything had been as per normal. And then, Kid had spoken those words.

The cold stung Law's nose as he hurried along the road. Aside from the sounds of the cans of beer rattling together in the plastic bag swaying by his side and Kid's footsteps beside him, the scene was shrouded in wintry silence. His ice-cold earrings felt like painful needles piercing through his earlobes.

'Everything's in vain,' the thought suddenly invaded Law's mind.

He had kept this unattainable love in his heart all these years, unable to confess, yet unable to let go and support Kid in his relationship. Every thought had been about how he could come between the couple, to cast doubt on their love. Yet as he continued to hold on to nothing, Kid had taken steps forward with her, hands held and their faces lit up with joy.

Law's lips tightened as he held back the desire to just let the tears flow. They were on their way to Kid's place to drink and enjoy themselves. It wasn't the time to cry.

He needed to act normal, to smile and pretend that everything was alright.

XXXXXX

They reached Kid's apartment block and climbed up the stairs to his unit. Kid opened the door with hands numbed by cold, and bent down to take his shoes off at the entrance.

"Stay here, I'll get a towel for you," he said as he entered the apartment and disappeared into the bathroom. For a moment, Law wondered what he was talking about, before suddenly remembering his stained boots.

"It's alright, they've pretty much dried off," he called out. Indeed, the walk back had dried off the dripping coffee.

"Idiot. I'm more worried about you dirtying my place."

Law looked up at Kid's words, just in time for the towel Kid had thrown to hit him in the face. The smell of the towel, the same as Kid's clothes, invaded his nose. Grabbing it, he gave his mostly dry boots a few casual wipes before taking them off and entering the apartment.

"...I'm coming in," he gave the customary greeting as he opened the door to the living room.

"Yeah. Oh, just leave the towel in the basket in the bathroom."

Law hummed a reply as he made his way to the bathroom. Turning on the light, he threw the towel into the laundry basket, which already held numerous articles of clothing, before glancing at the mirror before the washbasin.

There, on the shelf beneath the mirror, was a second toothbrush beside Kid's own, as well as a pair of diamond-studded earrings of a simple design.

Looking up, he saw himself in the mirror. A flat chest, a skinny body without an extra ounce of flesh to round out his figure, and a face that was undoubtedly male. The same gender as Kid.

Reality hit him hard as his heart wrenched.

'Why was I born a guy?'

The question he had repeatedly asked himself echoed once again in his mind as he gritted his teeth.

"Trafalgar?" Kid's voice startled him out of his thoughts, and he hurried back to the living room. Kid had arranged the snacks and cans of beer on the small kotatsu's table. Seeing Law return, he impatiently grabbed a can and opened it.

Law sat down opposite Kid, snuggling under the blanket, and reached for the snacks piled on the table. With the kotatsu's heat and the beer, his body quickly warmed back up.

A programme about celebrities taking on funny challenges was showing on TV, and Kid occasionally burst into loud laughter as they watched the show. Soon, Law followed suit, and he managed to forget his troubles as he enjoyed Kid's company.

XXXXXX

"...About what I told you earlier..."

They had already gone through several cans of beer each when Kid spoke up, as if he had suddenly remembered what they were talking about.

"Would you...come with me? To select a ring..."

'He must be drunk,' Law thought. Kid never spoke with such uncertainty in his voice.

"...Why should I? Shouldn't you go with her...?" Law replied. He wouldn't stoop so low. He couldn't.

The burn he had felt in his heart when Kid mentioned marriage several hours ago came back with a vengeance. He knew that he should give up, yet he was overwhelmed by the urge to confess his feelings to Kid.

He couldn't imagine keeping his sexuality a secret forever. Nor could he continue to lie about his lack of interest in romance. But could he bring himself to just suddenly confess his feelings?

Seeing Law's troubled expression, Kid gave an apologetic smile.

"I plan to surprise her with it. She knows that I've been saving up, but she's said before that when we get married, she doesn't want it to be a big affair. She even went so far as to say that she doesn't want a ring... But I wanna make her happy. I wanna see her smile..."

Law's ears hurt.

He understood perfectly how much Kid treasured her, had seen it with his own eyes these past four years. He knew that he had no place in their relationship.

"Besides, you're really thin and your fingers are slender like hers... I was thinking that you could help me with the size fitting..."

"...Alright." In the end, there was nothing else he could say. Yes, he wanted Kid to be happy, but he wanted Kid to be happy with him.

"Thank you, Trafalgar! You're really my best friend!" Kid exclaimed as he leaned across the table and embraced Law.

Kid's arms around his neck. Kid's head against his shoulder. Kid's familiar cologne stinging his nose.

"Best friend."

That was all he was. Nothing less, yet nothing more. Kid's arms around him suddenly felt restrictive and uncomfortable.

"Yes...I know. Now let go, you're really heavy," he said, slapping Kid on the back. However, instead of letting him go, Kid held on tighter.

"...Trafalgar, I really love how nice you are to me," Kid whispered in his ear.

Law's heart started to race. "...What do you mean, love...?"

"Heheh, just accept it, ok?" With that, Kid let go and returned to his side of the table, slipping his feet under the blankets once more. Their legs tangled together underneath the tiny kotatsu.

Law felt hot. The spots where Kid's body had made contact with his burned. The redhead's lips as he whispered in Law's ear, his breath, his arms, his legs tangled with Law's own.

It all scorched Law's skin.

'I love you so much, what should I do? I want to tell you, but I can't find the words. Even if I could, I'm afraid of what you would think of me.'

"So, will you be free next week? We'll meet at the usual spot, then we'll go..."

He tuned out Kid's words, nodding at appropriate intervals as his gaze shifted towards the open door leading to Kid's room. Kid had rented this apartment when they started college, for an affordable price of 48,000yen per month. He could still remember Kid's smile when he had signed for the place, satisfied with himself for finding such a great bargain within the city area.

It had started out as a dreary place, but it had slowly started to fill up with furniture, unmistakably selected by a female hand. It felt as if they were already living together, with the cushions and soft toys in the bedroom and her accessories casually left in various spots around the house.

Every time Law visited, the photographs on display changed. Sometimes, they showed scenes taken when the couple went on a date. Sometimes, they were photos taken in the exact living room Law was sitting in. Each photograph depicted a time which belonged to them, a Kid whom Law did not know.

And now, they were getting married.

Law knew that there was no point in holding on. Yes, he wished for it all to be a lie, for Kid to laugh and tell him that it was all a joke. But the image of Kid's blushing expression and the solemn look in his eyes refused to leave Law's mind, reminding him that all this was reality.

"After that, we'll go for lunch at the underground mall. And then..." Watching Kid plan out his ring shopping day, Law suddenly burst out laughing.

"Eustass-ya"

"Hm?"

There wasn't much time left. He had to make Kid his.

It didn't matter how. He had to do it. He had to have Kid. It didn't matter if anyone got hurt in the process. It didn't matter if he himself got hurt in the process.

As long as he had Kid, he would be alright.

"You're really such an idiot, but that's why I love you."

And that was the first time Law told Kid that he loved him. The spoken words ignited a fire in Law's heart.

Please leave a review or comment if you can. All of them will be translated and presented to the original author. (・ω・*)