Back Again, Ted

Note: This is for people who weren't happy about the last minute Ted/Robin finale. If you did like that part, fine. The fact this exists doesn't take that away from you so please don't be hostile.

Robin couldn't help but smile when she sees Ted standing on the street below with the blue French horn in his hand. It's like something out of an 80s movie. Say Anything, was it, with the boombox? Well this is a lot more tailored to their particular story.

She waved him to come up. She wasn't expecting company but it wasn't like she was busy, either. It took him a few minutes to make his way up to her and she used the time to get her dogs settled. He hadn't liked the dogs, she remembered, though she couldn't quite recall if it was the dogs themselves or the fact that each of the dogs was a remnant of an ex-boyfriend. She'd always regretted giving them away. Perhaps it wasn't an unreasonable request on his part but surely living breathing creatures were a little different than other mementos of a relationship. But that was decades ago and a choice she had made.

There was a knock on her door and she went to open it. Ted was standing there with a goofy sort of grin on his face. It would appear that Ted was in a sappy mood tonight, more so than usual. "Hi."

"Hi," she said, smiling again. He always made her smile.

"Can I…?"

Robin blinked and stepped aside. "Oh, of course! Come in."

"Thanks," Ted said, moving into the apartment.

Robin shut the door and followed him into the main area where he had taken a seat on the couch and she joined him there.

"You're lucky you showed up when you did," Robin told him. "I just got back. Walking my army of dogs can sometimes take awhile depending on if they're feeling like behaving."

A strange sort of look came into Ted's eyes. "I didn't mind waiting. Penny was quite adamant about being old enough to be at home alone so as long as you weren't going to be out walking the dogs all night I figured we were good."

Robin laughed. "Oh, you never know with them! And yeah, Ted, I'd be just as 'adamant' if you tried to hire a babysitter for me when I was fourteen."

"Hey, single parent here! I don't know what the rules are," Ted said defensively.

"And you don't remember from when you were a teenager?"

Ted smiled self-deprecatingly. "Yeah, most days I try to avoid remembering that dark, dark time in my life. But yeah, me trying to hire you a babysitter when you were fourteen would be incredibly weird. Especially since you'd have been in Canada and I was in Ohio. Although I was sixteen and perfectly eligible and there's one fantasy."

"You perving on a fourteen-year-old me?" Robin asked innocently.

Ted shook his head. "You know, that sounded a lot better in my head."

"Most things do, Ted," Robin replied matter-of-factly. "It kind of makes me wonder about the things you have the sense not to say."

"And wonder you shall have to continue to do since, as you said, I have too much sense to say them," Ted said, wagging his fingers dramatically.

Robin chuckled. "It's okay. I'm sure Lily and Marshall's drunken theories are better than the truth. If they're not actually the truth."

Ted leaned forward on the couch. "Okay, now this I've got to hear."

"Sorry," Robin said, not sounding even slightly sorry. "But this is a secret I've vowed to take to the grave."

"Next time, ask when I'm not sober," Ted translated. "Got it. You know, the liquor store should still be open-"

"Nice try, Ted."

They sat there in companionable silence for a moment, just smiling at each other.

Eventually, Robin thought to ask, "So feeling sentimental tonight?"

Ted frowned slightly. "What do you mean?"

Robin rolled her eyes. "Am I just supposed to not notice the blue French horn in the room?"

Ted looked away and cleared his throat, suddenly nervous.

Robin narrowed her eyes, a sudden suspicion dawning on her. But that was impossible. Ted deserved more credit than that. "It's not like I'm not glad to see it. It's a fun little blast from the past and you've got to tell me how you managed to get ahold of that again. Last time I checked, the owner had it chained to the wall."

Ted flushed. "Ah, well, it turns out that the original owner retired just last year and the new owner didn't understand why it was chained up like that. They thought it looked ugly and so they just freed it. And that made my job so much easier."

"I think you owe the previous owner so many apologies," Robin said. "And maybe this owner, too."

"Me?" Ted asked, putting his hand on his chest. "What about you? You're the one who wanted it in the first place!"

"Yeah but I never expected you to actually go and steal it for me!"

"Well maybe not the first time," Ted conceded. "But after that? Come on."

"You could have at least gotten them a replacement," Robin said.

"I…probably could have," Ted conceded. "Maybe I even will."

"What, you're not going to return this one to them?" Robin asked.

"And have the new owner chain it up like the old one?" Ted shook his head. "Never. Blue French horns were made to be free!"

"And he wouldn't chain up the new one because…?"

Ted shrugged. "Well if he knows I'm the only one who ever stole it and I gave him a replacement since I still have the original then his precious blue instrument is safe."

"I don't know, Ted. If I were him I'm not sure I'd feel better having heard that. It does make you sound a little like a crazy person."

"Well now I'm a little offended on behalf of the mentally ill," Ted told her.

Robin sighed. "Of course you are. But I didn't say mentally ill, Ted. I said crazy."

"And that's not the same thing?" Ted asked skeptically.

"Not in my book," Robin said. "And now I'm starting to wonder about your own issues."

Ted opened his mouth then closed it again, apparently not wanting to wander down that particular rabbit hole. "Let's get back to why I came here, shall we?"

"The reason you came here being that you were feeling nostalgic and wanted to reminisce about our exciting past back when the five of us were still the five of us and life hadn't gotten in the way, right?" Robin asked pointedly.

"Not…exactly," Ted admitted.

Robin could feel her body language closing off and she made no effort to stop it. "Then I don't know what you're here for, Ted."

She hadn't seen Ted looking this serious in quite some time. "I think you do."

"No I don't," she said stubbornly, angrily pushing herself up off the couch and walking to the window. She didn't want to have this conversation.

"It was strange," Ted said softly and she couldn't tell if he had moved or not. "I set out today to tell my children the story of how I met their mother. Six hours later, I finally got around to Tracy. I don't know if Penny and Luke will ever forgive me."

Despite herself, Robin couldn't stop a small smile from gracing her features. That was Ted in a nutshell. He never could just get to the point. "Did you just narrate everything that happened on that weekend?"

"Not everything," Ted said defensively. "And I didn't start there."

"I suppose you had to drag it out to six hours somehow," Robin allowed. "Where did you start then?"

"I started with you," Ted said softly. "I started with me asking the universe for a sign and catching your eye in a crowded bar."

Robin closed her eyes. "Ted-"

"It's funny. I didn't mention your name until after I presented you with the blue French horn for the first time," Ted continued as if she hadn't interrupted him. "At the start of the story they were sort of…in shock, maybe, that I had once wanted to date their Aunt Robin. By the end of the story they were telling me I told them the story of how I wanted to date their Aunt Robin. How obvious the two of us were when you came over for dinner. How it's been six years and we're both single. How I've had my kids and you've had your world travels and all the factors that broke us up aren't in play anymore. How I should really call you. And I don't know how they got from 'I'm so traumatized at the thought of you and Aunt Robin together you have no idea' to 'seriously, Dad, it's so obvious call her' in six hours but there you go. But I thought that this would be more our style."

"Don't…" Robin trailed off, feeling helpless. It was like a train wreck was unfolding right in front of her and she was powerless to stop it. She didn't have to say yes. She wouldn't say yes. But how to make him stop?

She could feel him come up behind her. "Why? Why not take a chance? We've lost so much time but you had an amazing career and I had the most amazing life with Tracy and the best kids a man could hope for so I'd say it was worth it. But there's nothing standing in our way now. Sure it might be a little weird with Barney since he's your ex but he never let that stand in his way when it came to you so he can't possibly hold it against me. And even if it was 'wrong' I wouldn't care because it's you and it's me so how could it ever be wrong?"

Finally, Robin turned to face him. "Ted…you've always had a way with words. You make such beautiful speeches and they never fail to bring me to my knees. I'm not going to lie, right now I'm about five seconds from kissing you until you pass out pretty much on the strength of your speeches."

Ted stared straight through her. "Why five seconds?"

"Because despite your sincerity and your speeches and your blue French horn I know that this would be a mistake and I'm far from perfect but I'd like to think that I can learn from some of my failings," Robin said tiredly, rubbing her temples.

"But why would it be a mistake?" Ted pressed. "I know what broke us up and what kept us apart. In the end, it's even what broke you and Barney up. You were going to travel the world for your job and neither of us could handle it. You had no intention of ever being a mother and I think we all know what fatherhood ended up meaning to Barney. But my children are teenagers now and they're not looking for another mother and you've relocated back to New York."

"Yes that quite handily solves the problems of 2007," Robin said archly. "But have you considered that maybe here in 2030 there are other factors stopping us from skipping merrily off into the sunset?"

"Nothing quite so insurmountable as the kids and travel thing, I'm sure," Ted said. "I mean, remember Italy or the judgeship and how that ended up working out for Marshall and Lily?"

"We were never Marshall and Lily, Ted," Robin said bluntly. "We never could have been."

"I understand that this might be…sudden," Ted told her gently. "I'm not trying to put you on the spot. Maybe I should have built up to it better but you know me. It's always about the grand gestures. You don't have to decide now. The door is open, is all."

"But I have decided, Ted," Robin said, feeling the frustration beginning to build. "And the answer is no."

The look on Ted's face hurt. "Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Why?"

"I don't love you, Ted," Robin said. She'd said it before and she had hoped she wouldn't have to say it again. They were easy words for her though they were probably far more difficult for Ted to hear. They weren't even true. She did love Ted but it wasn't the love that he was looking for.

"Lily said-" Ted began but then he stopped himself.

"Lily said what, exactly?" Robin demanded.

"I don't know what she might have told you in confidence," Ted hurriedly assured her. "She certainly didn't tell me anything like that. I just know that she's had a few things to say over the years about why you were avoiding us. It was hard for you to see Barney immediately try to go back to who he was before he fell in love with you and then harder to see having the one thing you could never give him be what really changed him. And it was hard to see me so happy with my wife. And at first I couldn't believe it but then I thought about it and you can deny it all you want but I know the truth. You've been pining after me for years."

"I've had other relationships, Ted, and you know that," Robin said frostily. "Relationships I've cared very deeply about."

"I would have married Stella if she'd let me," Ted retorted. "And yet I still loved you."

"Pining is not…pining isn't love, Ted," Robin said, sighing. "I've always been like that. The minute you tell me you want to get back together with me and I know how I feel and can tell you the truth. The truth is that I haven't loved you like that in a long time. And yet it's like I can't stop myself. Whenever you're happy in a relationship I think of what we might have had but couldn't and I get…wistful. But it's not love."

"But how do you know?" Ted asked. "I wouldn't want to force you into anything but why can't we try and see if maybe there's a reason for those feelings?"

"The fact that I'm seriously considering jumping out of the window to escape this conversation might have something to do with that," Robin muttered, glancing longingly at the window behind her.

Ted hesitated. "Look I don't want to accuse you of cutting and running and pushing people away the minute that things get real-"

"Then don't."

"But you do kind of have a habit of doing that," Ted said. "I know that, whatever has happened since, you really did love Barney when you married him. And yet you tried to run away with me and locked me in the room so you could escape your wedding."

"Don't even take that as a sign I secretly wanted to be with you," Robin said threateningly.

"I wasn't, don't worry," Ted said, smiling a little. "But the fact that you want to run away now, after all our hurts and our history, it doesn't mean that you don't love me."

"No but the fact that I don't love you does," Robin said firmly. "Ted, when you leave here tonight I'll probably get out a pint of ice cream, pointedly ignore the fact that it claims that something clearly meant to be eaten all in one sitting is four servings, and be miserable for the rest of the night for sending you away. But it won't change the fact that I don't love you and I don't want to get back together. And you can say what you want but it won't change that. And you can try to win me back all you want but it won't change it either and it will just make things awkward. We've finally gotten to a place where we don't have to be awkward and we can just be friends. Can you just…not mess that up? For me?"

Ted looked at her for a long time without saying anything. Then he smiled sadly and held out his arms. "Yeah. Yeah, I won't. Don't worry."

Robin stepped into his arms and the two stood in an embrace for a long, good moment that felt right. They were right. They were friends. It was something she never should have let her jealousies take away from.

But it wasn't love and Ted had known that for years. But then Tracy had died.

Ted was never meant to be alone. He had the kids now and all of them but it wasn't quite the same. Robin had long periods of time where she insisted on being alone before she felt like dating again. Ted wasn't like that. Whenever he wasn't dating he was trying to date. Tracy had gone too soon and Robin honestly didn't know if she believed that Ted could ever find something like that again but he would try forever. He'd probably eventually find someone that made him want to steal a blue French horn again but it wouldn't be, couldn't be, her. Hopefully now he saw that or would at least humor her long enough to have that sink in.

Robin stepped back. "So are you going to go return the French horn now?"

Ted gave her an incredulous look. "Are you kidding me? After all the times I've stolen it? This thing is like a battle trophy now. They will get it back when they pry it from my cold, dead hands."

"You're lucky that the old owner retired," Robin replied. "Otherwise he might take you up on that."