A Framework

"Why are you reading that again, son?" asked Joey as he walked into the front room. Adrian hadn't quite managed to hide the copy of Improve your Confidence Quotient he was reading and he could see a concerned look in Joey's eyes. Joey was indeed worried. That book, in his mind, could only mean Adrian was pining after Carmen or even worse going out with her again and that would be bad news all round. He had to find out what was going on and opted to come straight out with it.

"You are over Carmen aren't you?" he asked "you did leave her?"

"Yes of course" said Adrian, wondering what Carmen had to do with anything. He hadn't spoken about her in weeks as he had grown fed up with Billy's remarks about him being no-good at it every time he mentioned her. He'd also noticed that Jack seemed to get a funny look in his eyes whenever her name cropped up and he wasn't sure why.

"So why the book then? I thought your confidence had improved since turning your back on her."

"It did at first. I felt renewed, set free, like a little bird let out of its cage, but now the reality of being single has set in and all I feel is lonely. My confidence is hanging by thread, Joey. I'm a failure."

"Nonsense," scoffed Joey, "you're a Boswell and no-one with our grand name is a failure. Besides which, you've got A-levels"

"Why are A-levels seen as the answer to everything in this family? If I do something well it's ' oh well you've A-levels, if I mess something up it's 'why can't you do that, you've got A-levels?' I worked hard for those and for what ? They haven't helped me keep a job, or a girlfriend." Adrian's lower lip started to tremble as he spoke these last words and Joey moved closer, placing a friendly hand on his brother's shoulder.

"Unemployment can happen to anyone, and you dumped Carmen, remember." Joey answered patiently, he'd had this conversation many times, but today he had more to add "What you need is a framework, Adrian, a role you can fit into and make your own, here have a look" he handed some pamphlets to his sibling.

"Art classes?" Adrian asked sceptically. He couldn't see himself as an artist. He still hankered after a job in real estate, with a suit and tie and the chance to use long words, and he couldn't imagine an artist's smock going with his briefcase, but he had a look to please Joey.

"You always liked art at school, you may find it's your niche."

Adrian was warming to the idea, it was true enough that he enjoyed art at school, and though it had been a while since he'd put brush to easel, maybe he could do this. After all, some art terms could be several syllables long, he might yet get say something at meal times more profound than 'Do I have to sit next to Billy!' He smiled "You're right, I could be the Liverpool Leonardo, the Merseyside Michaelangelo, the Scouse ... " He trailed off unable to think of an artist beginning with S.

"Let's not get carried away son," Joey interrupted. He was wondering if he'd regret this. He had visions of meal times now being disrupted by Adrian wanting to show off his latest masterpiece and Billy announcing it looked like it was upside down and the two of them arguing and sulking for the rest of the evening. On the other hand, it would be a welcome change from real estate, estranged wives and who was doing what with who and in which bushes.

"Just go to the classes and see what they're like, if it leads to bigger things that's a bonus. I'm going to the DHSS, see if we can get you a student grant."

"Can you get a student grant for night school classes?"

"Well now that depends on how irresistible the DHSS lady finds me today." He smiled at the thought of speaking to Martina, he knew very well there was no such thing as a grant for evening classes, but he would have some fun winding her up about it. For some reason thinking about Martina reminded him of what Adrian had said about being lonely.

"Adrian, this might be good chance for you to meet someone, you know, someone more of your ilk, someone..

"With A-levels. " they said in unison and laughed

"Thanks Joey, I do appreciate you thinking about us. I know things haven't been great for you either recently. I'm very moved."

"No charge, son, no charge"Joey answered and walked to the car.

He sat there a while, with his head in his hands. He wouldn't tell him, wouldn't say that he hadn't been thinking of him that the pamphlets were for himself. He'd wanted to do something just for him for a change, be just Joey, not Joey Boswell, the apple of his mother's eye or the fixer of his siblings problems, not Mr Boswell, the nightmare and fantasy of a certain DHSS clerk, not poor Joey yearning after Roxy, just Joey. He too wanted a framework, an identity away from being a Boswell. He chose art as seemed so far removed from the persona he presented to the world. Was he being selfish to want that? Perhaps he should be, after all, Roxy was always saying he made too many sacrifices for his family. Still, giving the leaflets to Adrian was pretty small as far as sacrifices went. He knew Adrian needed it more. He also knew that Adrian would be getting some news soon that he would find upsetting and would need something to focus on, lest all his threads come undone.

"Well," he thought to himself as he started the car "that's 'Joey the big brother's' good deed done for now, it's time to go and make a certain DHSS lady's day." He chuckled to himself. Perhaps the roles he had in life weren't so bad after all.