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Dean took a deep breath and shook his arms. He touched the jasper green shirt he wore for this event. He was happy that Pam had allowed him to choose his own outfit for this tour. He looked at the ripped jeans and the familiarity of his clothes made him a bit more relaxed. He took another deep breath and nearly jumped as someone touched his back.

He looked over his shoulder and smiled.

"Sammy! You made it."

His brother was towering in front of him now. Both Dean's shoulders and nerves began to relax in the presences of his younger brother. Sam, having not seen Dean in a long while, hugged him tight.

"You know I'd come, I never missed a single one of your shows Dean. Never have, never will. And it's Sam, not Sammy!"

Dean grinned, very much missing Sam's bitch-face and yelling while he was away, as he tried to speak over the noise of the large crowd. The lights flickered over them for a few moments. That was Dean's cue. He gave Sam's shoulders a quick squeeze and took one last deep breath.

"You're gonna be fine Dean, you always are."

Dean smiled at Sam's shouted words and nodded. Finally, he was walking across the stage, with the lights blinding him for a brief second before he adjusted to them and saw the screaming crowd ahead of him.

He would never in his life miss the flashing lights.

Seriously, why didn't people understand? It was just annoying as fuck.

He waved at the roaring crowd, which seemed to have gotten louder as he reached his spot onstage.

Unlike the lights, he would never get tired of the crowd's voice pumping through him, like blood in his veins. He felt valued, cherished, important, wanted and most meaningfully, loved when he was with the crowd. And he'd be damned if he didn't relish in the feeling while he could.

He gave them his famous boyish grin and was very pleased when the crowd went crazy. He knew unlike a lot of male performers, there were as many male fans there as there were female.

He tried to push away the thought of a certain guy who is currently missing from that crowd. The one person he really longed to see.

He grabbed for the microphone at the center of the huge stage.

This was his favorite part of the tour, for this was his very hometown. People here claimed him as theirs and well, he always felt the most wanted here. It didn't really matter to anyone, not even to himself, that he had moved all over America growing up. This was where his mother had sung him to sleep for four golden years, where Sammy had been born. It held most of his good memories too. This was where he had met him. Somehow here, he couldn't run from him anymore. He held the microphone close and waited for the noise to fall.

"Good evening Lawrence, how you feeling?"

He shouted the words knowing it would start another wave of that pleasurable noise. His grin grew wide and his apple green eyes twinkled in the limelight.

There was an uproar of screaming girls, possibly trying to get noticed by him.

"I love you Dean!" Some girls shouted, while other girls yelled out, "Please marry me!"

He looked over to one girl who screamed 'I love you' from the very front row. Blond hair and a cute face. He already liked her. He smiled and winked at her.

"I love you too baby."

He knew a couple of the people had probably fainted from that and he considered it a job well done.

He loved his crowd and they loved him back. Everyone knew a big part of his fame was because of how carefree he acted. People loved that he was so relaxed and friendly with his fans. Well that, and his voice. No one, not even that stupid ass Crowley from that unfair talent show could deny he had a very great voice. That and he knew how to sing. It was enough, along with his attitude and beauty, to make him one of the most successful entertainers in all of America.

He was one awesome dude.

"Hope you guys are having fun tonight. I know the lines and all that crap sucks, and believe me I told them to serve good snacks to you, so please stop screwing me through fan mails because of it."

He waited for his words to have their effect.

"So…I know you're not really interested in me talking. I guess we'll just have to get this party started. So now everyone, please give my group here the welcome they deserve."

He shouted the last words, pointing his hands to his back where he knew his band mates were getting on the stage, settling by their instruments. They were always like his family and they deserved the limelight as much as he did.

"Just as always, we have Jo and Ash Harvelle behind their role on the base, Charlie Bradbury with her keyboard, Kevin Tran and his Cello, Lisa Braeden and Meg Masters and the Acoustics, Rufus Turner and his percussion, and the last but not the least, Benny and his Harmonica."

He listened to the crowd going wild as he called forth each name.

He knew most musicians introduced their band mates at the end of each concert but he had made it clear from the very beginning, they were just as important as he was and there was no point in waiting till the end of the concert. Plus his fans knew his band just as good as they knew him.

After his first few interviews, to Pam's utter annoyance, Dean had told the reporters that he was surrounded by his family, people he'd known for years and would never live without. Even Pam was an old friend of Bobby and she had been more than happy to manage his hot ass. He was just quoting there, for the record.

"So… as always, I'm gonna start with a personal favorite song of mine. You all know this song means so much to me and well… I guess you have all figured it out that it's about someone who used to be very close to me… Guess we all make mistakes, right? And hurting that someone was most probably my biggest mistake."

He looked back at Jo, who gave him a knowing stare and nodded. The music started slow and he felt his heart going fast as the first notes settled in. It was probably his saddest song to date and like many of his songs, it was about him.

"You won't leave me, but you won't stay,
I burn in your heart, a little every day.
You're always here, sticking in my mind,
Though you're far away, I know I can't hide.
I still miss you after all this time,
I still want you, I lost my prime.
I lost my chance, I should have taken your hand,
No one ever will give me what we had.

And now I'm here, lying where you stood,
I'm all alone, a guitar made of wood.
It's all I have, all I ever will.
I miss you still, I wish you were here.
I'm sorry for hurting the both of us,
You're sorry you ever fought for us.
It's a game of shame, a game of pride and hurt,
I never stopped playing my own hearts of deck…"

And so went on, his sad heartbreaking song.

Dean always finished it on a low note, hoping it would show how low he felt himself. Well, as he had always said, better to do the hardest part of something in the beginning than to dread it till the end.

Dean could never even bring himself to think of his name. He had spent too much time trying to forget him, he couldn't just throw that away, right? He let the crowd take his mind off his ex-lover and smiled widely, though most might think it was fake.

"This next song is all about my best friend and dearest brother in this world, but you already knew that!"

He grinned and took a quick glance at Sam, who was still backstage, and smiled.

This song was about family and Sam was all he had left from his.

Sam was the very reason he was who he was now and Dean could only thanked him through this song. Sam was always grateful for all the things Dean had done for him too and it worked out great like that. Dean was always in a hyper mood after finishing this song and his fans just loved seeing him jump up and down on the stage, working his few dance moves onto the stage.

By the ending of the night, he always left the audience wanting more. Obviously he never did but it was always nice to feel wanted in the end.

"Good job Dean. Next time though, don't say anything too personal out there."

Sam patted his back before Dean took him in a crashing hug once they were backstage in the dressing room.

"Shut up and give your big brother a large glass of whiskey Sam. He just took care of five thousand people." Dean spoke cockily, though there was an unusual lack of playfulness in it.

"Good to see you too Dean." Sam made his signature bitch-face before grabbing a bottle from the mini fridge they kept in there for these occasions. "Seriously dude, you should stop talking about your fans like that."

"Shut up Sammy, they like it when I talk dirty."

"I don't think so…"

Dean gave Sam his famous boyish smirk and they both chuckled quietly. He knew Sam understood his bad boy cover and why he wore it around strangers but that doesn't mean Sam will put up with it.

Their laughter quieted down until the sound of whiskey being poured into their glasses was the only thing left to be heard. As Sam gave Dean his glass, he cleared his throat and looked away into the distance.

"He didn't come this time either, did he?"

Dean shrugged and took the glass of whiskey that Sam handed him, gulping at it like it was nothing.

As soon as the familiar burn formed in his throat, he felt his shoulders relax completely. God he loved to drink after stressful performances.

After they finished their glass, though in Dean's case around his third or fourth glass, he walked to the side of the room and took his bag while Sam did the same and followed him out. He let Sam drag him away from all the noise and attention he was possibly getting, though the whiskey was making it a bit hard to understand, as he walked outside of the dressing room. Everyone knew better than to try and stop them, especially when Dean has had his share of drinks.

He didn't even bother trying to speak to Sam as Sam drove them both away from the crowded place. Not soon after they got in the car, Sam finally parked in a driveway and they both got out. Sam took both their bags to the house while Dean, being a bit more sober now, checked the mail. He looked up towards the two floored, light grey house.

It was originally their childhood home until a horrible fire burned it down. The town never had enough the money to rebuild the house so the first thing Dean did after gaining his first paycheck was purchasing the land for the town to rebuild it.

That is of course, after adding a huge chuck of the money into Sammy's college funds. Sam always came first after all.

He smiled sadly and stepped into the house.

He was finally home.

Ok so this is the first chapter. thanks to my beautiful beta Yuki. The song "Game of hurt" is an original by myself. I will give credit to the original singer or band if i use any song that's not mine. hope you like the beginning. don't forget to let me know what you think!:)