Elena's mind was too active to sleep. She lay awake in her bed, pondering the how quickly her life had incredibly and irrevocably changed in the past two days. A long dead war hero who might have been destroying DC a few weeks ago was now asleep on her couch just down the hall. And she had vowed to help him, just like that. Elena rolled over toward the door and wondered at how she had become so amazingly calm after her initial encounter with the man. James, she reminded herself. James, a lost man who needed her help. That's why she was calm. Mom always said you were as tough as nails, Elena thought with a smile.

She was just beginning to drift off to sleep when the scream jolted her awake.

It ripped through the room, a deep feral sound that made the hair on Elena's neck stand up and her heart twist. It was the sound of a terrified animal; desperate to escape the torture it was enduring.

James, she thought, and bolted out of her room. She reached the living room and found him on the floor, still asleep, but shaking and whimpering and curled into a fetal position. The cushions of her couch were ripped and torn, probably due to his metal arm. James flinched again in his sleep and let out another animal scream that ripped across the room.

"James!" Elena cried, rushing over to him. She grabbed his flesh shoulder and shook it hard. "James, wake up! It's just a nightmare! You're going to be okay, I promise!" Her heart clenched further as she imagined what horrors he might be enduring beneath his eyelids.

Without warning, his metal arm clamped against her shoulder and threw her across the room.

Elena crashed into the lamp by her couch. It shattered beneath her as she fell painfully to the floor.

James's eyes snapped open. He was finally awake. He shook his head fiercely as he took in the sight before him, the couch ripped, the blanket tangled on the floor, and Elena sprawled beneath the lamp with blood oozing from a large cut on her arm.

"Oh, God, Elena! I'm so sorry Elena!" He rushed over to her. His whole body was shaking and tears dripped from his eyes. "Oh God, I was dreaming of . . . them wiping me. And I hurt you again!"

Elena looked up groggily at him. She was dizzy from the impact of hitting her head on the lamp. "James . . . It's alright. I'm okay." But as she said the words, dizziness overwhelmed her and she slumped unconscious to the floor.

James stared in horror. The one person who'd been kind enough to help him he had hurt again. He turned away from the scene before him as more hot tears threatened. He had been right all along: he wasn't fit to be around people anymore. All he did was hurt them. He was a monster, a weapon, and that was all he would ever be.

Quickly he grabbed the coat Elena had washed for him off the chair and dashed out of the apartment. He didn't know where he was going, but he didn't care. The farther away he got from here, the better.

Elena's mind came awake groggily. Why am I lying on the floor? She wondered, and then it all came back in a rush. "James!" She cried out, sitting up from the remains of the broken lamp. Dizziness overwhelmed her again as she noticed the large gash on her arm from where broken glass had pierced her skin. She looked frantically for James, but he was nowhere to be seen. His jacket was gone from where she left it and her front door was slightly ajar.

He was gone.

"Oh, God!" Elena groaned as she stood up carefully from the wreckage of her living room. The rational, sane part of her mind was screaming insults at her for letting this guy in her house in the first place. What had she been thinking? But then, another memory came to her from last night, James's horrified face as he stood over her, his broken apologies as she slipped into unconsciousness.

He still needed her help.

Elena looked at the clock: 7:30, almost the time she should be at work. The sane part of her mind intervened again, telling her she should work today if she wanted to pay rent at the end of the month.

She rushed to patch up the wound on her arm. Luckily, it didn't look like it needed stitches. She spread balm over it and applied a bandage. Then she went to get dressed.

She would look for James on the way and after work. Hopefully he hadn't gotten far.

Elena kept her eyes peeled as she walked briskly through the crowded streets. She kept stopping to look into alleys or other places where James could be hiding. Her heart began to sink as she reached to bookstore, still finding no trace of him. Maybe he'd already left the city by now, then how would she find him?

"Elena!" Mrs. Gold cried as Elena entered the front door. "How are you feeling, love? Still Sick? Oh, my! That's a nasty cut on your arm! How did you manage that?"

Elena gave a weak smile. "I just fell, Mrs. Gold. And I'm much better, thanks for asking."

Elena settled into her normal routine of reading and helping customers. Usually she greatly enjoyed the work, but she just couldn't today thinking of James. She really hoped she could do a more thorough search after work. She couldn't bear the thought of him living on the streets again.

"You're not talking much, dear. Something wrong?" Mrs. Gold asked from across the store.

Elena sighed. "Nothing, it's just . . . well I met someone and . . ."

"Ah, a man, is it?" Mrs. Gold said with a raised eyebrow and a slight smile.

Elena flushed. "Well it's, err, he left, I'm trying to find him, it's not really romantic . . .well."

Mrs. Gold patted her shoulder. "He'll come back, they always do. A girl with you're looks, he'll be back in no time." The woman grinned and walked away, leaving Elena's face bright red.

Elena bolted onto the street when she got off work. She searched all the blocks bordering her apartment, stopping to ask neighbors if they'd seen a man who looked at all like James. She searched the local stores, behind dumpsters in alleys, anywhere she thought James could be hiding, still no trace of him.

She felt tears pricking at the back of her eyes as she looked through yet another alley. James . . . Bucky, the Winter Soldier, and whichever of the three he wanted to be was gone. She had wanted so much to help him remember and now he was gone. Who would help him now? How would he survive out there? She had no idea.

The sun was starting to dip below the clouds. It was late and Elena realized she was starving. Her shoulders hunched, she made her way to a Chinese place at the end of one of the streets. As she ordered, on impulse she asked for another order of shrimp and fried rice. Well, if she were able to find James, he would probably be hungry.

The cold wind whipped around Elena's skirt as she exited the restaurant. She squinted into the fading light of the streetlamp. Suddenly something caught her eye.

A flash of silver-metal? - That gleamed from just inside an alley she hadn't come to yet. "James?" She whispered. Was it? She hurried over to check.

He'd been sitting in this damn alley all day, his shame too great to allow him to move. Why had he allowed himself to get so close to Elena in the first place? He was better off alone, discovering his past alone. At least he would only hurt himself. He probably deserved the pain.

He was hungry and thirsty again, and finding anything in the dumpster opposite him had proved to be a miserable failure. He shivered as a cold wind whipped around him, and buried his face closer to his too-thin jacket.

"James?"

His head snapped up. Elena was standing in the entrance to the alley. Her blond curls tumbled over the blouse she was wearing, and her skirt flowed with the wind. Her dark eyes stared at him with concern. He grimaced as he saw the bandage on her arm where the glass had cut her.

"Elena . . . I can't be around people, all I do is hurt them . . . I know you saw the helicarriers on TV. You saw what I can do." His voice cracked. "You saw what I did to you."

Carefully Elena walked into the alley and kneeled beside him. To his surprise, the tiniest of smiles formed on her face. "I though we discussed before there was no fucking way you were leaving my apartment."

He stared at her in shock. He couldn't comprehend why she was asking him to come back with her. Didn't she hate him?

"Look, James, I'm probably out of my mind for letting you come back, but you need someone right now. I may not be an expert in PTSD or how to get a long dead war hero's memories back, but I'm sure as hell going to try. And as for last night, you didn't know what you were doing. But we'll need to work on those nightmares, and I have an idea about that."

Strange warmth began to spread through James's chest. Elena's eyes went soft again as she held out the takeout bag. "There's enough for two." The rich scent made his mouth water. Very slowly he nodded and stood up. A grin spread across Elena's face as she grabbed his hand and started walking back towards the apartment.

"So, last night, what was that about them wiping you?"

(Apologies for the late chapter, I had finals to study for. Anyway this chapter was longer that what I usually write, so I hope you enjoyed it! Thanks to everyone who's followed and reviewed, you guys are amazing! :D)