Title: The Angel of Solitude and Tears

Written By: Alexia Blackbriar

Summary:

Season 5 AU After Carthage. Because Cas was just too awesome to Fall and I felt like the writers were throwing away so much potential. A lot of things haven't been explained.

"Hey, Dean," Sam said, frowning, squinting at the website page. "Did Cas ever mention that he happens to be a powerful archangel who is the Heir to Heaven? Because I don't think he informed us about that."

AN: Damn those plot bunnies won't leave me alone! I was physically limping and I had to write this. Sorry, will try and update other stories as soon as possible. Meanwhile... this.

Sam wished he hadn't researched Castiel's name. It probably would've made life a lot easier. But he just had to be all curious and interested and type in the angel's name into the search bar. He really didn't understand why they hadn't done it before - research the angels they happened to have alliances with and looked up the angels they wanted to gank, to see what they were up against.

It kind of came to younger Winchester one day as they stopped at Bobby's to check out the rumours on an archangel's blade being able to kill Lucifer. After what had happened at Carthage with the raising of Death and Jo and Ellen's deaths, they needed to figure out how to kill Lucifer, if the Colt didn't.

"Castiel," he muttered, clicking on a few pages that came up on his browser. "Okay, here we are... Angel of Thursday, new changes and travel. Huh. Weirdly appropriate for us considering our lifestyle."

"What're you doing, Sammy?" Dean questioned, striding past with a beer in hand.

"Researching Castiel," Sam replied absentmindedly. "... Temperance... yeah, not so much us..." Sam clicked on another tab and exclaimed, "His holy colour is apparently pastel green."

"The hell?" Dean looked alarmed and confused. "Why?"

"I don't know. How am I supposed to know why his holy colour is green?"

"No - I mean, that's disturbing, yeah, but why are you researching him?"

"I thought it could be useful," Sam answered, looking up at his older brother. "I mean, he's Falling because he's helping us stop the Apocalypse, right? Thought we might as well get to know him a little better."

"By researching him online?"

"Yes."

"Sam, that's creepy."

Sam turned back to his brother. "It's useful."

"Yeah, Cas'll be thrilled you're stalking him."

"Oh look, it says here his wing colour is unknown. How do you think they know what colour an angel's wings are anyway?"

Dean made a small gagging noise. "Dude, that's messed up."

Dean strode away, but Sam shrugged and moved on. Castiel... also known as Cassiel. He frowned before checking his other tabs. None of the other sites happened to think that Castiel had other names. Oh well. It wouldn't hurt.

Cassiel, also known as Castiel...

Powerful Archangel, the Angel of Solitude and Tears...

A guardian of humanity and watcher of Earth...

Skilled warrior of Heaven...

Phenomenal ancient powers...

Been in hiding since Lucifer's fall, under the guise of a Seraph...

Raised by the Archangel Gabriel

Changed his name to Castiel due to Lucifer hunting him...

As a fledgling hidden from demons and the Fallen due to his Rites...

Known as the Youngest Angel and the True Son of God...

The Heir to Heaven...

"Hey, Dean," Sam said, frowning, squinting at the website page. "Did Cas ever mention that he happens to be a powerful archangel who is the Heir to Heaven? Because I don't think he informed us about that."

"What?" Dean blanched, rushing over and quickly scanning the page, his mouth hanging open slightly. "Man, is this for real?"

"I don't know. Doesn't seem like it's fake," Sam responded, sitting back in his chair, slightly shocked at the information they had just uncovered.

"Dude! If he's this 'all powerful Archangel' then why doesn't he just zap Lucifer back into the cage?"

"Well it does say in hiding."

"He could have saved Ellen and Jo!"

"He was trapped in holy fire, he couldn't do anything, Dean."

"He's an Archangel - he's probably known how to kill Lucifer the whole time!"

"Dean, I don't think -"

"CAS! CASTIEL! GET YOUR FEATHERY -"

Sam hissed and grabbed his brother's arm. "Dean! What are you doing?"

Dean pulled away angrily. "If this is true then Cas has been lying through his teeth to us!"

"Dean, he's been hiding from Lucifer since he was created!" Sam argued, standing and crossing his arms. "I think we can go easy on him."

"CAS!"

"Dean, stop it!"

"You can't stop me!"

"Just shut up, you jerk!"

"CAS! GET DOWN HERE NOW -"

Dean's furious shouting was interrupted by Sam shoving him to the floor. Before Dean could jump up and slam his fist into his brother's stomach, however, Bobby appeared in the doorway in his wheelchair and started yelling at them for making such a racket while he was working. It took considerably quite a long while for the Winchester brothers to explain the situation to the older hunter and what they had discovered.

"Well if you're gonna talk to 'im 'bout it, I'd have expected you two to maybe crack out some of the arson."

Sam looked up from where he was taking notes from the webpage. "What do you mean?"

Dean grimaced, crossing his arms. "I still have some of that holy oil we used to trap Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and the Trickster Nightmare."

"Dean, no. That's as bad as betraying him. Using a weapon he gave to us against him? That's low, man. We can't do that."

"I don't see any other option here, Sammy," Dean told him, and it was clear by his expression that he too wasn't pleased with the idea of trapping their ally in a ring of holy fire and interrogating him.

Bobby raised an eyebrow. "Well?"

"Okay, we'll do it," Sam exhaled. "But we're not hurting him. We're doing this simply to get answers."

Dean hesitated then agreed, "Let's get down to the Panic Room and set up. The holy oil's in the Impala."

"Summoning him?" Sam looked troubled. "Can't we just... you know, pray for him?"

"We have no way knowing he'll answer, and he has to land in the circle of holy oil."

"Dean, I'm not sure about this."

"Be sure," Dean told him, glancing at him from sideways on. "You're the one who brought this up, we need to find out if that info's true. If it is, we have some major issues to iron out with the guy."

Bobby finished the summoning ritual and the three hunters settled down to wait for their feathered friend to arrive. Dean had his lighter out, ready in his hand. They waited for a moment, then the lights flickered, once, twice, before a great boom of thunder was heard in the distance. The sound of rustling feathers signalled the angel's appearance; Castiel flashed confused blue eyes at the three of them.

Dean dropped the lighter and the holy oil burst into flames. Castiel whipped around, his trench coat flapping gently against his thighs, and when he turned back to the Winchester brothers and Bobby, his expression caused a pang in their hearts. He looked betrayed. Betrayed, confused, terrified, uncertain and fearful. He shuffled to the middle of the circle of fire, seeming to want to be as well away from the leaping red flames as possible.

"Dean? Sam? Bobby?" God, his voice even sounded broken. "What's going on? Let me go!" And there was no denying the desperate plea beneath those words, the underlying fear at the thought of the flames tearing apart his wings and burning his Grace.

"Castiel, it's okay, it's fine," Sam said, because it didn't seem like Dean or Bobby were going to comfort the distressed angel any time soon. "We just want to ask you some questions, alright? We don't want you to fly off without answering. We're not gonna hurt you. We'll let you go, we promise."

"Alright," Cas replied, cautiously. "What do you want to know?"

"Well there's a lot we wanna know right know, Castiel," Dean said, the venom clear in his voice, his green eyes flashing furiously. "Or should I say, Cassiel?"

Castiel reeled back in shock and horror. They could almost see the shadows of his wings caused by the light of the flames, snapping inwards to protect himself. He stepped back, away from them, his fear indescribable.

"How do you -" he started, shaking.

"DEAN!" Sam shouted at his brother.

"We were gonna get to it one way or another!" Dean hissed at his younger brother. "We needed to get to the point!"

Sam was seething. "You can't just drop a bombshell on him like that! We need time to do it slowly -"

"I've been patient as a frickin' Saint, Sammy!" Dean yelled angrily. "Frankly, I want the inside info, now!"

"Dean, we said we were going to be rational about this -"

"Yeah, that's what we said. I want some freakin' answers." He turned to Castiel and demanded, "Is it true?"

Castiel just nodded silently.

"See? Was that so hard?" Dean growled, shooting a glare at Sam.

"Boys!" Bobby snarled.

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment, only filled with the sound of the flames burning and roaring quietly.

"Can you break the circle now, please?" Castiel eventually asked carefully.

"NO!" Dean shouted.

At the same time Sam said, "Yes, of course."

"BOYS!" Bobby roared.

The brothers glared at the walls opposide them, not speaking. Bobby sighed and stepped forwards, and at the same time Castiel stepped back, his cobalt eyes cautious and guarded. Bobby stamped out the flames and the circle broke, the fire burning down until the flames had extinguished.

"I will answer any questions you have," the angel - no Archangel - informed them.

"Why didn't you tell us?" was the first question that burst out of Dean's mouth, the rage clear in it.

Castiel shrugged, looking down at his feet, before answering, "I - I was going to. I planned to if we had managed to stop Lucifer from escaping from the cage. But when he was released I - I couldn't. I had to go back into hiding. With Sam as Lucifer's vessel I couldn't tell you because if Lucifer read Sam's mind then he would have found out about me being your guardian and I would have - I would have had to leave," he finished quietly.

"The info we got said that you were in hiding since you were created," Sam prompted, obviously looking for more information on that subject.

"Where did you find this knowledge?" Castiel questioned, eyes narrowing.

"Some site called bouncing winged fledglings dot com," Sam replied, glancing down to frown at his notes.

Castiel sighed. "I should have known. The man who created that website was once a vessel of Gabriel, a man called Richard Speight Junior. We warned him not to share the knowledge..." He shook his head.

"So everything on that site is true?"

"Most probably, yes."

"So Gabriel really did create platypus' and llamas. Huh. I should've seen that coming," Sam muttered.

"Sam, focus on the important stuff, please," Dean demanded.

Cas looked at Dean, troubled.

Dean crossed his arms. "So you're actually a powerful Archangel who is the Heir to Heaven."

Castiel looked hurt. "You don't have to make it sound like an insult."

"Great. Just great," Dean growled. "So you're not Falling?"

"Um, I thought that was fairly obvious," Cas replied, looking between the two brothers.

"So you're not Fallin'," Bobby said from his wheelchair. "Whoopeedoo. Lay your hands on and get healin'."

The Archangel - Sam would never get used to that - looked stricken. "I can't."

"Well you've apparently got amazing cosmic mojo, so you can just snap Bobby's legs better, can't you?" Dean accused, crossing his arms.

"Dean - I can't - It's not that easy," Castiel tried to explain.

"Why the hell not?!" Dean shouted.

"Cas, why don't you explain from the beginning?" Sam suggested.

"The very beginning," Bobby corrected.

Castiel took a deep breath. "The very beginning..."

"The birth of Jesus Christ was what you would call a cover-up. Gabriel set it up. Lucifer and his followers' eyes were focused on the so called Son Of God, the human boy Jesus. That was when our Father created me - I was the youngest angel and Gabriel told me that when he first saw me, I was different to other fledglings - smaller, stronger, with larger wings than the others. My wings were said to be black, darker than the depths of Tartarus. Father named me Cassiel, 'Of God'. I was placed in the Archangels' care. According to what Gabriel has told me... They were ordered to raise me as a warrior, a general and as the Heir to Heaven."

"Michael was in charge of my battle training. He was as good a brother as you can expect with his duties to lead Heaven's armies and train our Seraphs. Raphael taught me about healing, though... I always thought he didn't particularly like me much. Gabriel however was more than my older brother. He was my protector, my guide, my teacher and he raised me. He taught me to fly, about humans, about Earth."

"When I was a fledgling, I was raised in a section of Heaven, empty of angels and souls. I am certain that back then, the factions had no idea I even existed. I had no contact with any other Angels other than the Archangels. However, I was forced to start interaction after I learnt to fly. I didn't understand at first why. But then the Fallen came."

"Somehow, they infiltrated Heaven. They killed many young angels and injured our warriors. It soon became clear they were searching for something, or someone. It did not take me long to figure out they were searching for me. We managed to drove them out of Heaven and Michael set up stronger wards, but the Archangels were shaken by the attack."

"After that, they changed my name from Cassiel to Castiel, and placed me as a young angel into a garrison. That was where I met some of my friends - Anna, Uriel, and other angels you have not met. Zachariah was merely a training captain back then. Gabriel used his powers to set up a cover for me - Cassiel the in-training Archangel and Heir was gone, and Castiel the soon-to-be warrior remained."

"I was raised into the garrison, though I did not enjoy it. When Gabriel left... I was distraught. Angry. Furious. I considered it betrayal. I never saw much of Michael or Raphael after that. But then, of course, in 2009, I was summoned. My Father gave me a mission - a Righteous Soul was in Hell, and needed to be rescued."

"I was still in danger of being discovered by Lucifer, and ignored Michael and Raphael's advice and took up the mission, days after Dean was dragged into the Pit. I flew into Hell and eventually, after forty years of searching and fighting demons, I found the Righteous Soul. I flew back up to Heaven with the soul cradled in my arms. I was exhausted, injured and scarred. I took the soul to Earth and recreated his body. The hand-print was the scar on Dean's soul where I hauled him from the Pit."

"So I took up orders again from Zachariah, and I became the Winchester guardian. We fought to stop the Seals breaking, yet I was only permitted to use a Seraph's power. I reconsidered my faith, and was punished; a fact unknown to the Archangels, even now. Zachariah revelled in that. I debated whether to tell you of my heritage and the truth of my status and rank, but then Lucifer rose."

"Heaven was placed into high alert. Michael needed to gain his vessel and take up his sword to defeat Lucifer. However, Dean did not say yes, and neither did Sam to Lucifer. I went into hiding from Heaven and Hell. I knew that I couldn't risk using any of my powers, otherwise Lucifer would discover me. I was forced to take up the guise of a Fallen Angel who lost his powers. It pained me to have to watch you struggle against the Devil without me."

"I knew that the only being who would be able to stop Lucifer without bloodshed would be my Father. Which was why I began the search for God. I tried to contact Raphael, and any angel who had possible seen or been in His presence. Raphael refused to answer. When I contacted you, Dean, saying that I needed help trapping Raphael to interrogate him, I was not lying. I was lucky then that Raphael did not reveal my secret."

"Then Gabriel returned. When you trapped him in the holy fire, I was shocked and angry at him for leaving. When you left, I confronted him. He convinced me to keep my status and rank secret from you. He said that if you knew, then Michael could read your minds and gain my location, and Lucifer would discover me. I knew he was right, though I was conflicted."

"When we went to Carthage, Lucifer bound me in a ring of fire. I was terrified. Yet I knew that I was shielded from him and my wards were active. He had never heard of Castiel the Seraph, the fallen angel, and let it slide. When I heard that Jo and Ellen died, I blamed myself. If I had been there, I could have protected them. But even if they had been injured, I would have been forced to leave them hurt. With Lucifer so close, I wouldn't risk healing them and exposing my power. I was fearful, but guilty and fighting my own will."

"Then, I felt a summoning."

"And you know what happened then."

There was silence for a moment.

"Crap, Cas," Dean said quietly. "I didn't even - you've been through Hell and back for us, and you've lived in fear your whole life."

"I did not tell you my creation story so you could offer pity and sympathy," Castiel informed them. "You asked for an explanation on why I did not tell you of my true identity and why I could not heal Bobby. I merely provided enlightenment."

"So you can't heal Bobby because if you do, Lucifer could find out about you," Sam realised, troubled.

"Unfortunately...yes," Cas grimaced. "But, however, with your permission, if I were able to place certain sigils and wards around the residence, my Grace should be shielded here and I would be able to use my powers to their full degree and heal Robert's legs."

"Why'd you even have to ask?" Bobby scoffed.

Castiel looked embarrassed. "Because some of the wards only allow an angel to enter the boundaries if they are invited. If I had set these up without you knowing I would not be able to enter the house and answer your prayers. It would be... awkward... to say the least."

"Set 'um up," Bobby said. "I want my legs back as soon as possible."

"Cas, theoretically speaking do you have enough power to kill Lucifer?" Dean questioned, crossing his arms.

Castiel frowned thoughtfully, but answered, "Well, your answer could best be expressed as a series of impartial quantam equations, but the simple answer would indeed be, most possibly, yes."

"There we go then!" Dean said triumphantly. "We have our man! Lucifer won't stand a chance!"

Castiel shifted and looked down at the floor. "Dean. I... would not kill Lucifer unless it was completely necessary. Unless the world is about to burn and humanity to end. Otherwise, I would feel uncomfortable."

Dean stared in disbelief and anger, while Sam and Bobby exchanged looks. They knew what the Archangel was subtly trying to tell them, but obviously the older Winchester brother did not.

"'Uncomfortable'? You would feel 'uncomfortable'?!" Dean said furiously. "Dude, the world is at stake here! Human lives! And your saying you wouldn't kill Lucifer because it would make you feel 'uncomfortable?!"

Castiel narrowed his eyes and stepped forwards angrily into Dean's personal space, his presence radiating power. They could almost see his feathers rustling and twitching angrily, his wings half-spread out to intimidate them. "Mind what you say, Dean. I am an Archangel of the Lord."

"I want to know why you seem to be against saving innocent people!"

Castiel set his blue eyes on Dean's in an intense stare. "Dean, you are asking me - no, ordering me - to kill my brother."

"Who might I say is a complete dick! Like all of your other brothers, I might add."

Cas bristled furiously. "If the world was at stake, would you kill Sam?"

"That's not the point!" Dean spluttered.

"I don't see how the situation is any different," the Archangel countered.

"Because, I know Sam! You don't know Satan!"

Castiel glared and stepped back slightly, spreading his arms out. "Alright then. Let's put it into different context. If the world was threatened by him, would you be willing to murder Adam?"

"Don't you dare bring Adam into this!" Dean roared.

"Dean! Calm down, man!" Sam shouted.

He yanked his older brother back by the arm, and Dean was trembling, his hands curled up tightly into fists. His soul was itching to throw a punch at the angel, knock him down and make him pay for even mentioning their dead half-brother. Sam shot the angel a look, and Castiel gave a small nod. With the sound of fluttering bird wings, Castiel flew off. Dean pulled away angrily and stormed out of the room. Bobby and Sam sighed and exchanged glances.

"We should probably leave him to cool off," Sam suggested.

"Damn idgit's gotta learn when to shut his piehole," Bobby grunted, turning his wheelchair and rolling into the kitchen to grab some whiskey. "We really don't need another royally pissed Archangel on our asses."

Sam sighed, pouring himself a glass of the thick amber liquid. "Yeah. Cas'll probably be busy anyway." He looked upwards. "Hey, Cas, feel free to set up those sigils whenever you like. And ignore Dean, he's an idiot."

"A massive one," Bobby added.

Sam shrugged, lifting his glass of whiskey. "I can drink to that."

AN: End of the chapter. Thinking of continuing this.

Satisfation: 8/10

Review please!

Thinking of next doing The Song Remains the Same, except Cas goes with them to meet John and Mary, then at the end he talks with Michael.

Plus, should Gabriel survive Hammer of the Gods?

Please review! Thanks for reading!

I really want to know whether or not to continue this. I could probably get another chapter up by tomorrow if you want it.