Hey guys, please be warned that this story contains some themes that may be triggering to some readers. There are mentions of suicide and if this is a trigger for you, please do not continue reading.

Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT or any of the characters.

As Emma took a generous sip from her tumbler of whiskey, she was plagued with one persistent thought.

How did I end up here?

The last two years had been a whirlwind – between breaking the curse the first time, saving Henry from Pan, the blissfully ignorant year she spent in New York and then the grueling battle with Zelena – she really hadn't had the time to consider what she truly wanted out of her life. Fate dragged her along as it pleased and all she could do was fight to survive.

Several months had passed since they took down Zelena, and everyone for the most part had settled into a quiet and happy life in Storybrooke. Mary Margaret and David had their baby boy, giving them the life and the child they've always wanted. After regaining his memories, Henry decided to go back to live with Regina. He wanted nothing more than to finally be home, in his home, making up for all of the time lost with his mother. Regina had settled in with Robin and Roland and the four of them appeared to be a picture perfect family.

Despite the fact that Emma was still processing the traumatic loss of her first love, Hook had been as persistent as ever in his advances. Having grown tired of his pathetic attempts at wooing her she finally told him to shove his hook somewhere unpleasant and that the kiss they shared in Neverland was a mistake. Having nothing left to remain in Storybrooke for, he set back out for the sea, as the Jolly Roger had always been his true home.

Emma got herself her own apartment after everything settled down, not wanting to intrude on her parent's new life with their child. She saw Henry a couple of times a week for lunch or dinner, but all Henry could really talk about were all of the cool things he was learning from spending time with Robin. Emma could have taught him how to hold a proper stake out, or how to track down and even take down a mark, but shooting bows and arrows in the backwoods of Storybrooke was apparently more up his alley. She supposed that a teenage boy needed a male role model, and Robin wasn't really a bad guy, but she felt as though she had lost her place in his life.

Regina had been reinstated as Mayor and Emma as Sheriff, so there was some familiarity to her every day life. The crime level in Storybrooke, as it always had been, was abysmally low, but for a while, Emma found some small comfort in the routine. Regina had taken a much softer approach to being Mayor this time around. She shot Emma the occasional sarcastic remark about her paperwork, but for the most part, their relationship had become pleasantly amicable. After all they had been through together, they had come to somewhat of an unspoken truce and had over the past few months coexisted cordially and peacefully.

It wasn't often that she saw Regina these days, and to her surprise she found herself missing the brunette. In Neverland and during their fight with Zelena, they ended up spending most of their time together and she had oddly grown to enjoy Regina's company. It became more than just their bond over Henry – their relationship had evolved into something that Emma thought resembled a true friendship. They understood and supported each other in ways that no one else could, which was ultimately the real reason why they were strong enough to defeat Zelena in the end. But with the threat gone, and Regina's "true love" in the picture, there was really no place left for her anymore and the two of them just drifted apart.

Emma had withdrawn from everyone really, and they were all too busy with their own lives to even notice that she was slowly fading away. If they did notice, they didn't care enough to reach out.

No one needs the savior, anymore. Emma thought, as she chuckled into her glass of whiskey, gulping down the remaining liquid, reveling in how it stung slightly as it slid down her throat.

As fucked up as it was, it all sort of made some sick and twisted sense. For someone whose sole purpose of being born was to be the savior, what was she now that there was nothing left to save? She had served her purpose and there was truly nothing left for her to do and no one left that needed her.

With a determined glint in her eye she slammed the glass down on the table, moved swiftly across the room and slung her red leather jacket over her shoulders. It was the same jacket she wore when she broke the curse, and it almost felt like her 'savior armor' if she ever had any. She figured she might as well go out looking the part, if being the savior was the only thing she would ever be remembered for.

With one last long exhale, she snatched her keys off of the side table and exited the apartment, not even bothering to lock the door behind her.

It was pouring rain that night, and normally she'd have avoided going out in such a storm, but something about it made Emma feel alive. After stepping out onto the sidewalk, she paused and closed her eyes, tilting her head up towards the sky. She took in a full breath through her nose and was invigorated by the cool air and the smell of rain. Her body relaxed with every lukewarm slick drop that ran down her face.

Emma was nearly soaked through when she broke from her daze and hopped into the bug. She turned the key in the ignition, with the engine sputtering to life after a few moments. Smiling warmly at all of the happy memories tied to the bug, it seemed only fitting that this moment be shared with her longest and most faithful friend.

Pulling away from the curb she decided to take the long route through the more deserted part of town. There was something therapeutic about the smooth twists and turns of the roads, and she wanted and needed to be at peace tonight.

After mindlessly driving for a while, she slowed down the bug, and the brakes squeaked to a stop. Being that it was the middle of the night on the outskirts of town, nothing could be heard for miles but the steady patter of rain. Emma pulled her wallet from her back pocket and opened it, revealing a worn photograph of Regina and Henry. She pried it out and ran her thumb across the surface, tracing the contours of their happy faces. Hot tears ran down her cheeks and splattered on the photograph. Sobbing softly, she wiped off the photograph with her hand and tucked it into the visor, securing it well within her line of sight.

Emma wiped her eyes on the back of her sleeve and touched two fingers to her lips and then pressed them against the two faces on the photograph.

She wondered how things could have been if she had only been enough.

Revving up the bug and gripping the steering wheel tightly, she pressed the gas pedal down to the floor, never taking her eyes off of the two faces in the photograph. As the road took a sharp turn to the left, she tightened her grip on the steering wheel, staying the course. She felt one rough bump as the bug careened off the road into the trees and then everything went black.

The cell phone buzzed loudly against the surface of the nightstand before Regina realized it had been ringing. She rolled over and glanced at the clock, revealing that it was still the middle of the night.

Her heart immediately sank realizing that something bad must have happened for anyone to be calling her at this hour. She snatched the phone off of the table and answered on the fourth ring.

"Regina –" she heard, in the familiar sound of Snow's voice.

"Snow. What's wrong? Is everything alright with the baby?"

"Leo's fine." a shaky voice returned.

"What is it?" Regina asked more urgently, the elevation of her voice causing Robin to stir beside her.

"It's Emma."

Regina's heart suddenly felt as though as it were caught in her throat, so much so that she could barely utter her next words, terrified of what the answer may be.

"What happened?"

"I don't know, she was in an accident…they found her…and they don't know if she's going to make it." Snow said, barely understandable as she choked through sobs with every word.

As Regina processed the magnitude of Snow's words, she was too stricken to respond. Her breathing was shallow and quickened as she desperately gasped for breath. The hand that was clutching her phone dropped limply from her ear as she began to sob.

It was then, in that moment when she felt Robin's hand on her shoulder that she realized she had made a grave mistake - one that she may never have the chance to rectify.

This sort of came out in a stream of consciousness, and I'm toying with whether or not to continue this. I'd like to see what you guys think. It would be more of a slow burn Swan Queen story.

Thanks for reading and I appreciate any reviews and feedback.