It has been exactly three months since I last updated, I know. But my inspiration never came, no matter how hard I tried. Well, after watching Mockingjay I thought I'd feel like writing, but now that I watched it, it's totally not the case. I admit being defeated by Annie and Finnick. Even though I'd still want to see Finnick&Katniss together, I cannot bring myself to cut Finnick away from Annie. And I literally killed her in the last chapter so...

Whatever. Enough with the babbling. This is the epilogue, as you guys all know. I hope you will enjoy it because I totally had a hard time writing it.

Warning: This chapter contains character death, pessimistic thoughts and unhappy feelings. No happy ending guys. Unfortunately...

Disclaimer: I do not own Hunger Games. All rights go to Suzanne Collins. I am just a simple fanfictioner.

A/N: English is not my native tongue so please excuse my grammar mistakes if there are any. (Also you might see slight changes in the Tenses in this chapter.)

After a few more sloppy kisses and tears from Finnick for the loss of Annie, we went to sleep. I spent the night sleeping right beside him and it scared me. Actually, the thing that scared me wasn't the fact that I slept in the same bed with him, cuddling. The thing that scared me was that it felt utterly familiar, comfortable. It was scary to feel such comfort in the arms of someone who I used to hate.

That's why I freaked out. It was dawn and he was fast asleep when I exited his house with all the strength I had. I wanted to return to his bed, hug him and have a good night's sleep but that wasn't right. Not that I could differ what was right or wrong at this point. But when I arrived at the hospital and saw Peeta being discharged from the hospital, I felt butterflies in my stomach. I approached him with little steps. He saw me and looked at me for a few seconds before hugging me tightly. I felt tears in my eyes and I let them go. We both cried on each other's shoulder for what felt like hours. It was a refreshing feeling really.

Then I started avoiding Finnick at all costs just like I did back in the day.

I don't know how days, even months passed. Peeta wasn't the Peeta I left in the arena. He was someone entirely else. Yes, I could see that he loved me and yes, I could see he cared for me but when he looked at me, sometimes, even for a mere second I could see a twisted look in those beautiful eyes. Maybe it was because he had been unconcious for too long or maybe it was because I made a rash decision by blowing up the whole arena before finding him. I would probably never know unless I asked him.

Not that any of this mattered anymore.

The rebellion was over all of a sudden before we could understand what was going on. Coin and Plutarch were making their best counter move when a broadcast was on all our screens, showing us the death of President Snow chocking on his own blood, because of his own venom. Then, who seemed to be the new President said he wasn't going to follow on President Snow's steps. None of us believed him but at least the rebellion and the whole war was over for now. We could finally breathe.

Then I found out the new president was killed by Coin's men. She wanted to be the new President. So she eliminated her only rival and attacked Panem. She and her army immediately got rid of all the Peacekeepers at their most vulnurable moment. She was not more innocent than Snow, she had never been. And I never saw this coming, not even when she set up a trap for me and Gale.

But then one day, I was called in to the Headquarters. When I entered the building, I saw Coin's men aiming their guns at me and to a few people behind me who I guessed to be Finnick, Gale and Haymitch and found myself aiming my bow and arrow at two people at the same time. One of them was Coin herself and the other one was a soldier, who was standing rather too close to me than my liking. With just one command from Coin and I would be dead. The scariest thing was, behind Coin, Boggs had Peeta. His arm was wrapped around Peeta's neck, squeezing it a little bit. He also held a gun to his head, letting me know if I did something stupid, he would shoot Peeta in the head. I was scared. Yet, I stood my ground and held onto my bow with all my strength. Coin's business with me was finished and she felt like she could get rid of me and my friends finally. I wasn't gonna give it to her. If someone was going to die, it wouldn't be me. And if I was going down, she was coming with me.

So I did the only thing I could do.

I released my arrow and it hit Boggs' forehead.

At the same time as I released my arrow, Boggs fired his gun mercilessly, as if foreseeing what I was about to do.

"Katniss, no!" I heard Gale and Finnick say the same thing at the same time. Before I could understand what was going on, Boggs collapsed in front of me with Peeta in his arm and I aimed my arrow to Coin this time. Then a soldier tried to shoot me and I ducked, avoiding a gunshot right to my heart. I knew I was supposed to run and hide but I had nothing to lose. Not anymore. They could shoot me but they would never be fast enough to prevent me killing Coin.

I released my arrow again to a now-running Coin. It shot her from her knee and she fell down, as I aimed another arrow at her. But before I could release the arrow, someone ran to me and jumped at me, both of us falling to the ground. I struggled as I tried to get rid of the soldier on top of me but he punched me with such strength that it paralized me for a moment there. Then I, with blurred eyes, saw Finnick killing the man on top of me with his trident. He helped me get up, yelling at me things I didn't understand. My eyes were locked with Peeta's lifeless body on the floor.

I had nothing to lose.

As if I was programmed to do this since the day I was born, I aimed my last arrow to Coin who managed to get up by a soldier's help, and did my best shot. The shot got Coin in the back of her head, blood spilling all on her clothes. The soldier beside her froze for a moment and I knew it was my chance to escape. Yet, I couldn't. My legs didn't work, my brain didn't work. All I could think of was killing Coin and now that I managed to do it, I felt empty. As if I was a robot programmed to kill people and without that one single command, I had nothing to do.

I saw Finnick fighting in front of me with Haymitch, who was fighting with his punches. Gale was also fighting a few soldiers at the same time. I was a threat to everyone's life. I was even a threat to myself. I wasn't supposed to live. Since the first Hunger Games, I wasn't supposed to live. Why did I do such a rebellious act and gave him the berries anyway? I had no reason to keep us both alive. I could eat the berries and die. But stupid me, fought for both myself and Peeta. In the end, after all these years, it was Peeta who died nonetheless. It was supposed to be me.

Then I felt a really mind paralizing pain on my leg and I looked down at it to see it was bleeding. I had no idea how it happened or who shot me, but it was bleeding really fast. My body couldn't carry me anymore and I collapsed to the ground. The cold surface of the marvel floor wasn't unfamiliar to me. Also, Finnick coming to kneel beside me and calling me stupid wasn't unfamiliar either. When I first woke up in the ship that was taking us to District 13, I tried to get rid of the needles in my arms and I found myself shaking. That's when I first felt the cold marvel floor and the feeling of being absolutely miserable. Finnick was the one who helped me back then. He was helping me now too. Why, I had no idea.

He held me in a princess hold and he escaped from the Headquarters where I killed Coin. The last thing I saw and remember was Haymitch and Gale running with us right behind us. There were shootings, lots of blood and the ear-deafening sound of a bomb. The minute I understood there were people in there fighting for me too, I closed my eyes to a sleep full of nightmares in the arms of a man who always helped me fight my own demons. It didn't work this time.

Present Day

Six months passed since the day I killed Coin and caused Peeta's death.

Since then, they kept me in a hospital kinda room in a mansion in Panem. People for some weird reason, kept me as their leader and those who supported Coin were either dead or in prisons. That's how everyone started living in Panem. Some people went back to their Districts in the hope of making it all better. I didn't know whether they managed it or not but I didn't wonder either. At least I knew that everyone was living in peace now. Well, peace is a tricky word really. For me, this wasn't peaceful because the only thing I could do was look outside the window everyday.

One of my legs, the one that the soldier shot, became dysfunctional because they couldn't remove the whole bullet from my leg. It was way too deep to reach it and the bullet was touching my spinal nerves. They said it'd be too risky to try and remove it. So they left half of the bullet inside my leg. After that, my leg became dysfunctional. The doctors were still trying to treat me but I didn't really care. I didn't get up and wander around the mansion anyway.

Oh, forgot to mention, we are living in a mansion now. Me and Finnick I mean. They said I needed someone with me the whole time. The doctors were calling me unstable, which wasn't a new deal. I barely heard what they said all the time anyway. I am not listening to anyone but Finnick and Haymitch. Haymitch is living in a mansion right across the street just like Gale. Gale is staying with my parents, because I refused to live with them. I mean, I am a mess, they don't deserve to see me like that everyday.

The area we are staying in was only for survived Victors. Finnick came up with the idea and I accepted it. Because I didn't care.

I say it a lot, I know, but I really don't care about anything anymore.

I still have disastrous nightmares and wake up screaming in the middle of the night. Finnick always wakes up and checks up on me. He needn't do that though. Because this nightmare of me kneeling beside Peeta with his blood on my hands, his wide open eyes staring at me will never go away. The nightmare is always the same, it never changes. Yet, I still can't get used to it. Every night is a nightmare itself.

I barely talk, I barely eat. Nothing is appealing anymore. Sometimes Finnick would come and tell me how people were doing, how happy and comfortable they were. I'd nod and smile a little bit, even if it is a fake one. Then he would kiss my forehead and leave me, letting me watch everything that was happening outside my window—which is nothing. Nothing is happening outside my window because my room's window looks at the garden. The only thing I stare at is the white roses in the garden. At first Finnick wanted to dispose them but I yelled at him not to. For some weird reason, I wanted them to stay. It reminds me of Snow's pathetic but very-much-deserved death. But his death didn't give me any peace. I hadn't noticed Coin was much of a bigger threat then him. If I had noticed that earlier, I would have acted more carefully. More strategically.

But I was a fool. I still am a fool. Because I cannot fight my demons and I am living a very pathetic life where I do nothing whatsoever. I am not living. I am only a body with no soul. I think they—the doctors I mean—finally deserve to call me "unstable". Even I can tell I'm unstable.

"How's Miss Sunshine doing today?"

He always calls me that. I'm guessing he thinks that someday I will actually believe him and stop being such a miserable twit.

I didn't reply him. I just rolled my eyes as he put my lunch on the table and helped me get up from my chair. I walked to the dinner table in my room with my crutches as Finnick helped steady me. The dinner actually smelled delicious but I didn't feel like eating.

When I did nothing but stare at the plate in front of me, Finnick frowned. "Please Katniss. You do this everyday. Aren't you tired of having the same conversation with me everyday? Well, not exactly a conversation though... just listening to my monologue about your health."

I looked at him. "Aren't you tired of telling me the same things everyday?"

He shook his head. "No, honey, I am not. This can go on forever and I wouldn't get tired of it. It's actually kinda fun when you look at it from my point of view. You're acting like a spoiled little brat, which is cute."

I snorted but said nothing. But when I saw a genuine smile on his face, I couldn't think of anything else but how beautiful he was. Even though I knew, deep down inside, he was not in a good condition either. Seeing me like this hurt him, I knew that. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to be better.

I didn't deserve to be better.

He got up from his chair and took it with him, putting it right beside mine. I looked up at him and he sat right next to me, still smiling. Then he, surprisingly, hugged me. He hasn't hugged me since... that day. Since the day I stormed out of his house because I was being a chicken. And it felt really good to be in his arms again like this. I guess I missed it really...

Without thinking, I slowly wrapped my arms around his waist and held him close. We stayed like that for a while before he pulled away. "Please, Katniss. I need to see you eat, even if it's a little bit. Please."

His pleading made me eat some of what was on the plate. I didn't look at what I ate to be honest. Then he kissed my forehead and thanked me for eating. When you think about it, it was laughable really. He kissed me because I ate. I was really pathetic. I never felt so much self-pity for myself before.

He helped me get to the chair in front of the window and then made his way to the door but I called after him.

"Finnick?"

"Yes, Katniss?" He seemed surprised by me calling for him.

I didn't know why I called after him though. I guess I didn't want him to leave. "Thanks." I said sincerely.

"Always." He said and smiled in return before leaving the room.

Tears filled my eyes once again and I found myself singing an old song I've known since my childhood.

Are you
Are you coming to the tree
Wear a necklace of rope,
Side by side with me.
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight
In the hanging tree.

Finnick's POV

When I left her room, I finally had hope. She finally ate something and hugged me back when I hugged her. For six months, I kept thinking she would eventually let herself die by not eating, drinking, sleeping. I kept her my eyes on her all the time. Never had there been a minute I wasn't by her side. I lost Annie; I wasn't going to lose Katniss. I wasn't sure she felt what I was feeling for her in the same way but I had hope. Hope was what has kept me going for all this time.

Then I heard her sing a beautiful but heartwrecking song. I listened to it until the end, at her room's door. She wasn't aware of my presence, so, even when she finished singing the song, she kept humming its sad melody. Nobody could understand what was going on inside her mind, but I could feel the weight on her shoulders. A weight nobody could lift. It was her concsious. It was the ugly feeling of constantly feeling guilty.

I found myself going up to her and kneeling in front of her chair. She was playing with her fingers on her lap, looking outside the window like she did all the time. I held her hands, squeezing them a little bit. She was still unaware of my presence; she was so caught up in her own little world. I wasn't going to let her slip from my fingers. I wasn't going to let her sanity slip away from her.

I wasn't going to leave her alone. I wasn't going to watch her go through what Annie did. No matter what.

I looked up at her and saw her looking at me. She finished her song with these four last lines, keeping her eyes locked with mine;
Are you
Are you coming to the tree
Where I told you to run,
So we'd both be free.

That's when I saw how dead she was inside already. I was too late to save her. Just like I was too late to save Annie.

Then I felt her hand on my cheek, her thumb wiping away a tear that escaped my eye.

"Don't cry." Were her only words to me before she turned her gaze to the window again. I knew what those words actually meant. She was telling me not to cry for her. She thought she didn't deserve anything. But she was wrong. Though, she was never going to understand how wrong she was.

So instead of leaving the room, I stayed right where I was.

Even though I knew I couldn't fix the broken pieces of her soul, the least I could do was stay by her side forever. And that was exactly what I was going to do.

Who would have guessed, a simple dance would lead to such bigger things...

To those who favourited, followed and reviewed this story, thank you sooo much! I hope you enjoyed the fanfiction so far. Sorry for the upsetting epilogue but this is how I felt about Finnick&Katniss after watching Mockingjay.

Thanks again for reading!

xoxo Louvreangel