Hello, kiddies! I just thought I would write something a bit more laid back and pleasant since all of my pieces are a bit fast-paced and/or a bit intense. Haven't really tried my hand at humor much, and I came up with a pretty good subject—who else but the one and only Mr. Resetti?
I haven't played Brawl in a while… I've missed that game ever since my Wii broke down.
But I digress. Here's an interview dialogue between the average player and our beloved, hotheaded, passionately ranting mole. Enjoy!
Mr. Resetti Gets Upsetti
An interview conducted by
-PASTAUNIT01-
Player (your average Mii avatar): "Hello, folks! Fancy meeting you here! It would appear as though…"
*FIVE, FOUR…*
P: "A wild four-man melee is about to come to a close…"
*THREE, TWO, ONE…*
P: "Aaaaaand-"
*TIME!*
P: "There we go. Check it out, everyone! Kirby was about to use an assist trophy! When we observe it in slow motion, it would appear to have been… Goodness me! Could it be? It's-"
Resetti (as the screen fades and the winner is congratulated): "GRRAAARR! I TOLD YOU! NO RESETTIN'! WHAT DON'T YOU UNDERSTA-"
*the mole pauses and observes his blank surroundings for a few seconds, scratching his head with his pickaxe*
P: "Hmm… The previously irate mole is now a bit befuddled as to why there are no brawlers for him to scold!"
R: "… wha?"
P: "I see this as an opportunity…"
R: "Who's there? What's with that annoyin' radio voice, eh?"
P: "The assist trophy lasted longer than the time limit. Despite this sudden oddity, why don't we have a little conversation just for fun's sake?"
*roaring applause is heard as the Mii puts its stubby, spherical hand to its invisible ear*
R: "WHOEVER YOU ARE, NO RESETTIN'! YA HEAR ME?!"
*the Mii warps into the blank screen and cavorts his way beside the mole, who is currently a tad out of breath and disoriented*
R: "Ooh… World's gettin' dark… Gotta stop spinnin'… Whew!"
P: "Greetings, kind sir! Would you be happy to-"
R: "You just don't get it, do ya, punk?! IT AIN'T ROCKET SCIENCE, BUB!"
P: "But Mr. Resetti, nothing has been res- *ahem* erased yet."
R: "Huh? You sayin' you never reset nothin'? Oh, well, uh… Guess we ain't got a problem then."
P: "As I was saying earlier, would you be happy to answer a few questions for us?"
R: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear ya. Stop whinin' already! So, lemme introduce myself. Name's Resetti. Mr. Resetti."
P: "You don't say?!"
*gasps are heard from the audience, with a more quiet fangirl squeal added at the end*
R: "On behalf of the family I'd like to show youse... I mean show YOU, um..."
*the Mii leans in closely in a dramatic fashion, waiting in anticipation*
R: "Uh, show you... Aw, forget it! How's a mole supposed to remember this garbage? HUH?"
P: "Right, right. Carry on then."
R: "Let's cut to the chase. Ever hear of Animal Crossing? Yeah? Well, that's where I'm from. I'm the guy who stops cheaters from cheatin'. The no-resettin' policy enforcer, ya follow?"
P: "Indeed! Quite interesting terminology, no?"
*canned laughter*
R: "Ya break the rules, ya gotta deal with the mole in charge here. I'm like the... how you say... conscience of Animal Crossing."
P: "The indubitable truth! When Brawlers hear the words "Animal Crossing," often you are the image that first comes to mind! How do you feel about this?"
R: "Well, uh, I ain't one to toot my own horn or nothin', but I'm a big deal. I'm the most popular-"
*canned laughter*
R: "What's that? You ain't got time for this?"
P: "It's the opposite actually-"
R: "You wanna know what it is I'm doin' here? You ain't heard a word I said, that it? You got potatoes in your ears, punk? HUH?"
P (aside in the form of a whisper): "The provocation was successful! Now it is time to observe his classic reaction!"
R: "This is Super Smash something or other, ain't it? Yeah? Then quit complainin'. I'm SUPPOSED to be here. I'm the star of the show, twerp!"
*the borders of the visible word bubbles of both the Mii and Resetti begin to mingle at this point as the mole continually raises his tone and fumes from the ears and nose*
P: "Do tell! The fabulous star has preached!"
R: "Huh? What's that? I'm in the way? Ya can't see the screen? KEEP CRYIN', PUNK!"
*Resetti's pupils shrink while his arm motions and body movements become much more animated*
R: "What's the big idea treatin' me like an item, huh? If I could move around on my own? Join this here brawl? Oooh, look out! I would tear this place right UP!"
P: "Give us an example of one of your movesets!"
*the crowd begins to eagerly cheer Resetti's name and encourage him*
R: "Mole elbow over here! BAM! Dirt nap there! SLAM! Kirby... Captain Falcon... You'd be runnin' home to Mama!"
*the Mii's word bubble is completely engulfed and overwhelmed as the enraged mole continues his vigorous tirade*
R: "Grr! What a rip-off! Where's it written that moles gotta stay underground? HUH?"
*he heaves angrily and takes a breather for a short moment, and the Mii can finally speak*
P: "I guess you can say he's feeling… Animal Cross!"
*cricket noises from the audience, Resetti drops his pickaxe with his mouth gaping wide open in silent embarrassment*
P (awkwardly clearing his throat, red-faced): "Perhaps I should 'reset' so I can do away with that awful faux pas-"
R (suddenly and violently coming back to life): "This ain't the time for more roughhousin', twerps! Your attention. I WANT IT! Hey! I'm talkin' to YOU! LOOK... OVER... HERE!"
*uproarious laughter from the audience*
R: "You laughin' at me? THERE! I saw your nose twitchin'! Now you did it! UGWAAH! You're marked for LIFE! I ain't NEVER forgivin' you for this!"
*the mole's word bubbles fill the screen completely, forcefully pushing the now frightened Mii into the bottom left corner*
R: "Comedy hour's done, but you got front-row seats to a prime-time horror fest! Claws? Check! Pick? Check! Rage-filled mole? Double-check! This is gonna get ugly! GRAARR! OUCH!"
*an audible crack rings out within the vibrant two-dimensional backdrop, and Resetti freezes with a painful expression*
R (after a few seconds of silence): "My... My... back... Oh, boy... Musta pinched... a nerve... My chiropractor warned me not to get too worked up... All this diggin' got my spine outta whack."
P (with a slightly shaky tone): "D-Did it really, now…?"
R: "That's good news for you, 'cause it means I'm outta here. Guess I ain't got what it takes to keep up with you. I'm gettin' old, ya know?"
*the audience slowly begins to applaud the mole one more time before he waves about frantically and interrupts it*
R: "Oh, but one last thing..."
P (dramatically leaning in close again): "Yeeeees?"
*Resetti picks up his pickaxe and points to the audience, which is technically blank and empty since his environment is two-dimensional and he can't exactly see the Super Smash Bros. canned audience*
R: "Get some shut-eye, will ya? Stayin' up late's for punks!"
*someone yells from the audience, 'Sleep is for resetters!'*
P: "Alright, well that'll do for today's interview! Let's hear it for Animal Crossing's own hero of the assist trophy squad, Mr. Resetti!"
*the Mii claps and waves his arms up and down energetically to pump the crowd, which follows his cheering excitedly and gives a very loud, invisible standing ovation*
R: "Now… SCRAM!"
*Mr. Resetti explodes and disappears off-screen, and shortly after the Mii walks off stage while the applauding fades out with the dissolving black screen*
*the player then operates the Wii remote and returns to the home screen from the game, which had apparently stopped functioning as the disc could not be read right before the last melee event had ended*
~THE END~
So yeah, gimme some feedback if you feel up to it. I hope it was at least enjoyable, if not humorous.
I also don't mean to shamelessly promote myself, but... my other stories are getting slightly dusty on their shelves. I'd be a very, very happy writer if you could somehow take some time out of your busy schedules to read and review at least one of them... There are only three others. But hey, I'm not forcing you to. They're as great as I could make them, and they'll be even better with your suggestions and critique.
Again, thanks! I hope to see you all again soon!
-PastaUnit-