The next few months rushed by in a blur of yellow and red leaves as the season changed from summer to fall. Byakuya and Renji's relationship had only grown stronger as the two men opened up to one another in a way that they had never done before. Vincent was delighted that their group dynamic was flawless, and Renji only kept getting better at his job.

"Renji, I think you'll be employee of the year with all the amazing work you are doing." Vincent beamed at Renji as Renji humbly thanked him. "Hiring you was the best thing we could have done."

Renji's flush deepened, "I have you and Mr Kuchiki to thank for. You both passed on a wealth of knowledge to me."

"I'm really proud that you two are working so well together. It's a little surprising actually since I've never really seen Byakuya so...open and happy..." Vincent stared off into the distance, a look of curiosity on his face.

"Somehow even though we're such opposites we work well together," finished Renji hoping Vincent wouldn't probe.

"Well, yes you do work well together but it's more than that. Oh! Does Byakuya have a girlfriend? Maybe that's what he's so happy these days!" Vincent's blue eyes danced with excitement.

"I'm not sure Mr Kuchiki. We don't really discuss our personal lives with each other."

"Oh really?" Vincent turned his attention to Renji, his eyes full of curiosity.

"I just worry about him you know. Keeping an eye out for me will you." Vincent patted Renji on the back and walked away. Renji flushed, thinking that he was definitely keeping more than an eye out on Byakuya.

Ever since the night of Byakuya's panic attack, him and Renji had never attempted to have sex, though it took all of Renji's effort to stop himself from ripping off Byakuya's pants. He wondered if maybe they should be adult about it and discuss it. He made his way to Byakuya's office and after knocking on the door, let himself in.

"Renji," Byakuya looked up at him, his silver eyes softening. No matter how many times Byakuya said his name and looked at him in that way, it was something Renji couldn't get used to, nor did he want to. He felt his knees go weak.

"Would you like to come over to my place tonight?"

"So, you finally decided to invite me over?" Byakuya teased as he rose from his desk and stood in front of Renji.

"My accommodations are nothing like yours, so I was hesitant to have you over." Renji gulped feeling nervous as Byakuya's expression softened once more.

He put his arms around Renji's waist, closing the distance between them. "There is no such thing as shame between us Renji. We have both been through our fair deal of troubles." He gently placed a kiss on his forehead. "What time shall I come over?"

"How about after we have dinner at the Liquid Motion? Maybe you can stay over?" Renji asked hopefully.

"Yes, I can do that." Byakuya smiled, untangling himself from Renji's embrace. "Is that all you wanted to talk to me about?"

"That, and I was hoping I could steal a kiss?"

"Go back to work Renji," Byakuya's laughter filled the room as he went back to his desk.

Smiling, Renji let himself out, and went back to his office. He was nervous having Byakuya over since his apartment was cramped and wasn't close to the standards that Byakuya was accustomed to. But, what he learned from this relationship is that Byakuya was full of surprises and when it came to Renji, he was always an exception.

Renji left the office early and made his way to the grocery store to pick up some food, and most importantly cleaning products. He needed to make the best of his situation and so putting on his elbow length rubber gloves, cleaned the counter tops, mopped the floors, dusted the blinds, disinfected the bathroom, swept the kitchen, organizing his kitchenware and making sure everything was in its proper place. Finally, after two hours Renji threw off his clothes and got into the bathtub, allowing himself a hot soothing bath to wash away the dirt and the tension in his muscles. He dressed in one of his best casual clothes, and went to meet Byakuya at the Liquid Motion.

Byakuya looked as handsome as ever in his casual but pristine clothes. The waiter ushered them to their usual private room, and Byakuya and Renji first started talking about work and then moved on to more personal matters.

"Renji, how do you feel our relationship is progressing? I can't believe it's been almost 4 months." Byakuya took a sip of his wine, dabbing his mouth with the silk napkin on his lap.

"I've never been happier. I like how we have been taking things slow. It's been good for the both of us."

"Good, I feel the same way," Byakuya smiled warmly.

"How do you feel about taking our relationship to the next level?"

"What do you mean?" inquired Byakuya.

"Umm perhaps a more sexual one?" Renji asked in an innocent manner.

Byakuya stiffened slightly. "I think before I have sex with a man there is something I need to tell you. It's so hard for me. I'm ashamed and disgusted." Byakuya pushed his plate away, throwing his napkin on the table.

Renji rose from the table, and went to his side, taking his hand. "You know you can tell me anything. I won't judge you and I will accept you for who you are."

"I want you to tell me everything about you Renji. Your childhood, your nightmares, everything. I know it's not fair for me to ask you of this."

"Okay, I can do that for you. How about we go to my place?" he asked gently.

Byakuya nodded in response and they left the restaurant. Renji could feel himself growing more nervous as they approached his apartment. He led the way upstairs and waited with baited breath as Byakuya walked in, taking in the cramped space.

"It's very cozy, and clean," Byakuya finally said after walking around the small space.

"I know it's not much but I really like it here. Of course I could afford a bigger space and I will look into it," Renji was scratching his head, a sign of nervousness that Byakuya found endearing.

"It's okay Renji. If you are comfortable here then that's what you are comfortable with." Byakuya settled himself on the couch as Renji offered him a drink.

Renji sat next to him. "I like you a lot Byakuya, and I feel like I can open up to you about things that I never have, so I'll tell you everything about me." Renji took his hand and turned to face him.

"When I was a young boy, my mother passed away from an illness and shortly after my dad fell into depression and killed himself. I had no family to take me in so I was sent to a foster home. I was never in one place for long, and finally I ended up somewhere permanent. I knew from the beginning that I couldn't stay here long. The kids there weren't treated well and I...I was abused. Beaten, scolded for no reason and so my foster brother and I decided to run away. We were only 14 at the time and so we lived on the streets for a bit. We stole to get by, and slept under a bridge for about a month or so. One day while trying to warm up, a man approached us and asked if we wanted a place to stay, and food in exchange for work. We were getting desperate so we said yes, knowing that was a bad idea. He brought us to a hideout, with 10 other guys and told us that if we could get this suitcase safely to and address that we could have a roof over our heads and food. So we did as we were told. It was the first time in a long time that we slept comfortably with our stomachs full. Next thing we knew we were part of the Satan's Sons and got our tattoos. Naturally we turned to drugs, and murder. I've...I've killed two people." Renji's voice was thick with shame as he buried his head in his hands.

"It wasn't your fault Renji," Byakuya whispered soothingly. "Your circumstances forced you to survive, and look at how far you've come. I'm proud of you Renji." Renji looked up with tears shining in his eyes as he rested his head on Byakuya's shoulder.

"So eventually we realized that we had to get out of here so we promised each other that we would. Shortly after my friend was killed, and a week later I left the gang. They found me eventually, and almost beat me to death. I was lucky enough that someone found me. I was eighteen at the time so I got a job, found an apartment, graduated high school and got into college eventually."

"Thank you for opening up to me Renji. I know it must have been hard for you. I really appreciate it." Byakuya put his arm around Renji and kissed his hair.

"That was very hard and emotional for me to get out." Renji took Byakuya's hand, and looked into his eyes, waiting for Byakuya to begin his story.

Byakuya breathed deeply, praying a panic attack wouldn't come on. "When I was a teenager my parents were killed in a car accident. I had a comfortable and good life but when they passed I fell into depression. One day I was walking, and I was attacked by the Satan's Sons. I guess you weren't in the gang at that time but I remember how they look. They were all large, and one of them had a ponytail, with gold teeth."

"I know him," Renji said quietly. He was the leader's right hand. Jose. I despised him. He was the most vile and cruel of them all."

"Renji...Remember when I told you I was attacked. Well that wasn't the whole story. There were three guys and they...they...did things to me...sexual things," Byakuya's voice faded as Renji's eyes widened in horror.

"Byakuya...did they rape you?"

Byakuya felt the bile rise in his throat, and felt the heat on his face. His breathing increased.

"Byakuya, you need to calm down, before you have a panic attack. Just take deep breaths okay. I'll get you some water." Renji rubbed his back as Byakuya drank water and took steady, deep breaths, listening to Renji's soothing voice.

Eventually his heart rate went back to normal. "Yes...I was," he replied with his teeth clenched.

"I could murder him! I think I'd know where to find him to. How could he?!" Renji was outraged. Byakuya looked up alarmed at Renji's reaction. His face was flushed, and his eyes were burning in rage. "First he almost destroys my life, and now I find that he did such terrible things to the man I love."

"Renji..." Byakuya stood up, and placed his hand on his arm. "What did you just say now?"

"I said, how dare he do that to you!"

"No, you phrased it differently. You said the man that I..."

"Love," finished Renji, the anger vanishing from his eyes, replaced by uncertainty. "Did that come out too soon?"

"No, it didn't." Byakuya smiled, "It was perfect." Byakuya drew him close, his lips finding Renji's. Byakuya traced his lips with his tongue, tasting Renji's warm mouth, deepening the kiss. "I love you too," he murmured.