Disclaimer: "What is the catchphrase of a wizard who is trying to take a picture?" "Hocus Focus."

Right...and you now know the reason why I don't Harry Potter and it all belongs to J. K. Rowling with the people she sold the rights to. On with the story...

Harry dazedly walked back into the school, barely noticing the fact that his invisibility cloak had slipped off his body and by some inexplicable circumstance he was now in the seventh floor of the school. He didn't care one bit, though as he now knew about the impending First Task of the Triwizard Tournament from Hagrid-they had to obtain a golden egg from under the clutches of a nesting mother dragon while it is mixed with her original eggs! Now, why didn't they just ask him to drink Potassium Cyanide? It would have been quicker and most likely, painless.

Nothing had gone right for Harry since the time his name had come out of the Triwizard Cup. He had expected censure from the school (he still remembered his Second Year), but he hadn't expected both his 'best friends' to turn their back on them. Both Hermione and Ron had been particularly vindictive, calling him a 'cheater' and 'glory hound' and it had hurt. Nobody had bothered to help him, nobody! Between Professor Dumbledore using him as bait, Snape being his surly self, the school being filled with 'Potter Stinks' badges, hateful glances, accusations about him in the Daily Prophet, he had been driven to despair with no strength to fight back any more. This news just broke his spirit totally and Harry Potter found himself praying for a little help from anyone-an angel, somebody. He had never asked for help since the beating from his uncle at the age of five, but he found himself hoping once more.

Just after he had finished pacing for three times (the idiotic staircases had left him trapped there), he was surprised to notice a doorway emerging in the solid wall opposite him. That wasn't there before...

'What is the worst that can happen?' he thought to himself and stepped into the Room of Requirements for the first time with the plea of help still fresh in his mind.

He didn't know exactly what he had expected, but stepping into a brightly lit room with a pleasant temperature and seeing four grinning portraits was not one of them, especially when the portraits consisted of the Four Founders of Hogwarts, right out of his textbook! Sure enough, Godric Gryffindor, Salazar Slytherin, Rowena Ravenclaw and Helga Hufflepuff were all present there, grinning back at him.

Probably realizing that he wasn't going to speak, the portrait of Gryffindor took pity on him. "Fear not, lad, we are here to help you out. Why did you ask for help?"

"I asked...for help?" Harry somewhat questioned, quite dazed.

"Didn't you?" Rowena asked with a warm smile.

"I-I did", Harry spoke haltingly, extremely unsure about the situation, "But I mean-I don't understand. What exactly is this? Where am I?"

Rowena piped up in a 'lecture voice' he had been exposed to for years and secretly loved listening to, "This wonderful room was our greatest creation. This is known as the 'Room of Requirement' and can basically provide you with everything you need. It required heavy Transfiguration, Arithmancy and Charms, but we created it anyway. After all of our demise, we became magical portraits just as current Headmasters of Hogwarts do, but we decided to place the portraits here here as we really didn't want to be bothered with trivialities. It was not our arrogance, but our tiredness and a feeling that we have given everything to the Wizarding world it could ask of us. But you, young lion, have managed to reach out to us with your magic after so many years...Hogwarts itself wants to help you now, and it could be best accomplished by us." She paused and Helga picked up the thread of conversation. "Please tell us why you are so distraught? We can help you, but not until we know the reason. Our castle is a semi-sentient entity, and it empathasizes with you, and so do we. Please confide in us. Nobody here can harm or hurt you." She had a warm, caring voice, just like the voice of his mother he could listen to in Dementor-induced visions. It was beautiful.

And so Harry spoke. At first he was hesitant, but soon the dam broke and he found himself baring his life's tale to these virtual strangers. Nothing was left behind; no secrets were left to hide. Maybe it was the magic of the Room at work-it helped to calm the young wizard, certainly.

Or maybe it was because of the warmth and comfort that they radiated. After his despair, they seemed like angels to him. Saying all these helped to take a great load off his chest and he felt lighter than he had ever in this year. He sobbed, felt like closing off or even outright cried, but he didn't stop. The two women were there for him, soothing his discomfort with feminine tenderness-it wasn't real, but it was more than Harry could ever imagine. Finally, the thrilling tale was over.

Meanwhile, the Four Founders had been conversing between themselves. They were extremely accomplished wizards and had managed to push much more of their sentience into their portraits than normal wizarding ones and the constant exposure to magic had only made them more lifelike. They had vowed to be there for the students once the school had opened, and they were determined to back this child of destiny.

"Well, Harry", spoke the portrait of Slytherin for the first time, startling Harry, "I guess the first magic you truly need to learn is about the subtle art of true illusions."

Harry Potter's true magical education began that night. When he felt like giving up, the Founders were there to back him up, encourage him and give him strength. The most wonderful factor was that in the 'Room of Hidden Things' state, the Room of Requirement had countless Time Turners stored in it over the years. Add to that the considerable magic stored in Hogwarts itself, and Harry found that time really doesn't flow the same way inside the Room as outside, if required. He had just gotten more preparation time for the Tournament.

After Harry had finished mastering the art, he curiously (and with a fair bit of trepidation) asked Salazar why he was there with the other Founders, when they had such a huge rift during their life and Salazar had killed the other three? He almost asked, 'And aren't you evil?', but checked himself.

Then he learnt about yet another huge misinterpretation of History. Salazar himself was unable to father a children, so he adopted an immensely powerful pure-blood child and gave him the last name of 'Slytherin'. He was Salazar's pride and joy and grew up in an isolated household with only Salazar to train him and turn him into a great wizard-even the other three Founders didn't have much contact with him. He did it because he felt his child must be made strong so that no magical could ever harm him-Salazar couldn't live with himself if he lost him, and of course there was a bloody war going on at that time.

However, Slycus Slytherin found reading books as a most engaging pas-time. They were written by pure-blooded wizards as Muggleborns got official recognition only after Hogwarts was founded-they were in a pretty weak position then. But, reading them had an unfortunate side-effect; Slycus' mind became filled with fairy tales, absurd notions and the idea that pure-bloods were inherently superior to all. After all, he had his own magic to believe it easily...

The arguments had come to a head, and he had not hesitated to land the killing blow on his own father and in an act of supreme cruelty, he had fed him to Salazar's own pet Basilisk. Enraged, the other three founders had attacked him, but he was paramountly skilled. The battle was long, and though he had finally fallen, he had managed to take the other three with him. They didn't grudge their death, but felt it was a noble sacrifice.

Unfortunately, when witnesses arrived, they found only four bodies, mangled well beyond true recognition. However, the existence of Slycus was not known to others, and the blood adoption had given him a haunting resemblance to Salazar in both looks and magic. Soon, the story became what it was now-Salazar Slytherin had murdered his best friends to champion the pure-blood cause.

Harry, after listening to that whole tale had burst out laughing. It was a sad tale, sure, but from their tones it was clear that they didn't really feel bad about it after this many years. Imagining the reactions of people like Malfoy and Voldemort, who prided themselves in their own superiority, on learning the real truth, made Harry laugh out loud. It was a sure relief from the stress.

And, instead of rebuking him for laughing, the portraits laughed along with him. This change was welcomed by Harry with open arms.

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"Harry, it's time to take the alternate test." Rowena announced happily. "Call your elf, please."

Harry paused from trying to master the "Infernal Inflammarae" charm (it, by the way created a tornado of fire which can be wrapped around a person like a fiery cape. Cool, no?) and called aloud, "Dobby?"

With a pop, the house-elf appeared in his view. "What can Dobby do for the Great Harry Potter Sir?" He enquired again in his overeager voice.

Harry smiled at him and instructed him to bring the Halos...Holos...whatever magical artefact Rowena had asked him to purchase. That little guy had really come through for him. While his illusory self, whom he called 'H.J.' was taking his place in the castle, he needed a way to get some essential supplies from outside, most importantly food. Alas, it was something the Room couldn't produce.

The test he was going to take was an alternate version to gauze his magical ability. He was pretty powerful by all standards, but Rowena had argued that he had to have more power than the normal tests show. His ability to summon them indicated that much. Ah, Dobby was right there, with the artefact in his hand. It mostly seemed to be a large bowl with intricate runes carved on the side.

"So, what do I do now?"

"Simple. You need to deposit a large amount of your semen into the Halostone."

"Wait, what?" Harry sputtered.

Rowena shrugged impatiently, "Ah, what are they teaching these days? The only reason conquerors could afford Harems in old days was due to the fact they had enough magic to satisfy all the witches. Your magic will directly determine the potency of your sperms, Harry and I think this is much more accurate then the recent test you mentioned."

Seeing that Harry was still gaping at them, Godric spoke up with a leer, "Well, if you want some inspiration, I could always tell you about my first threesome with Rowena and Helga."

"What? No." Harry shouted and immediately focussed on his needs. The Room blurred, and provided him with a scenary...

An image of a silvery blonde girl kissing a gorgeous brunette flickered into existence; both of them were naked as the day they were born and touching each other in their breasts and nether regions while moaning throatily...

Harry blushed scarlet and looked away. He hadn't realised that his recent fantasy could be materialised like that by the Room. He knew that first girl. She was named Luna Lovegood and was a member of the Ravenclaw House, first in her year. He had come to know her under rather unusual circumstances. He had a brief meeting with her at the beginning of the Quidditch World Cup, and he had 'met' her again when H.J. ran into a couple of Ravenclaw's bullying her. She appeared to be calm and taking it in stride, but H.J. had acted.

The reason was simple. To fool people like Dumbledore, your illusion needed to be very convincing. H.J. was basically a personification of Harry's inner self, had a connection to his mind and had the same 'Saving people thing' Harry had. It helped that he too hated bullies with every fibre of his being.

H.J. had made it clear to the Ravencretins that bothering Luna further would be a pretty bad thing. Then, Luna and H.J. had hit it off and while H.J. couldn't really converse much, he was perfectly happy to listen to Luna and be her protective friend. She didn't wear those 'Potter Stinks' badges, either. While Harry was a bit sad that Luna's first 'real' friend was an illusion, he knew that he himself would have liked even a friend of that kind. Moreover, after this charade was over, he knew who he was going to befriend first.

He smiled ruefully; even if he cared for her greatly, his heart still belonged to a witch who he thought would always stand by him. Pretty pathetic, no?

Oh well, no use being depressed. Salazar and Godric always rattled about that. He focussed his mind once again on the imagery and sufficient to say, adequate 'test materials' were soon available in the Halostone.

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"Ha. I told you, my heir can't be a weakling." Godric crowed after the sperm sample proved Harry was extremely powerful...easily reaching up to class seven while even the most powerful Aurors had to struggle to break into class five. Not to mention that magical capacity didn't increase linearly.

"I agree", Salazar snarked, "A weakling couldn't defeat my heir too, even if he is way too arrogant for his own good."

Rowena took over again, "So Harry, there are only two explanations for this discrepancy. Either you have a magical block placed on you which is affecting your overall magical output or you have a host feeding on your magic. Both are unusual cases, but not too serious. We can have them removed after you perform this ritual..."

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Harry pushed down the tiara from his head with trembling hands. He couldn't believe it. Could it really be the truth?

While he was performing the cleansing ritual, he had moderately overpowered it. The bolt of light had not only passed through his entire body, but had swept through the Room of Requirement as well. Although it was supposed to be painless, he had briefly felt a searing pain in his scar before a greenish mist had emanated from it and then disappeared. Consequently, the Room had changed into 'Room of Hidden Things' state for a moment and the light had also sought out a diadem and cleansed it at well before dying out. Ravenclaw had seemed really excited about it; it was her own magical diadem, capable of increasing the mental faculties of a wearer thousand fold and gifting him/her with advanced wisdom and intellect. He had put it on, while chuckling at the childish antics of the Founder, before some memories had assaulted his mind with the intensity of a freight train.

All of Albus Dumbledore's lies were now bared to him. All the obliviations were reversed, he now remembered everything. Especially the fact that how he had asked out Hermione to be his girlfriend thrice now, she agreeing every time and had both their memories of those events removed right away.

It seemed Dumbledore had upped the ante after last time, using a couple of loyalty Charms and a potion on Hermione to force her to stay away from him and gradually focus her attention on Ron. Even thinking about that git made his blood boil now. He was responsible for reporting every single of their trysts to Dumbledore and kept him updated on his every movement. He was getting paid for it too, and Hermione was supposedly to be a reward to him-he would then finally have a leg up on the Boy-Who-Lived. He had stumbled upon all this early this year, and as expected, had been obliviated. Not anymore. He vowed to himself that he would make both of them pay.

Oh, as a little side-effect, he now knew all about Tommy's Horcruxes too, and had a general idea as to what objects he might have chosen as his Horcrux. He couldn't get to all of them, but...maybe hiring a curse-breaking team from Gringotts was in order.

The Four Founders were as angry as a magical portrait could be, and soon Harry's next training regiment began-to take control over the wards of Hogwarts. As a heir to Gryffindor and conqueror of Slytherin's heir, he had claim on the castle but really couldn't do much about it as Dumbledore held the keys due to being the current Headmaster. Still, he could be trained and had enough power to oust Dumbledore at the right moment. The portraits knew that his heart was pure, and never hesitated in this action.

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Harry walked into the stadium and suppressed a smirk. Every one of the sheep...err, students was there, probably expecting him to get mauled during the First Task. It was time to show them just who he was. While H.J. had kept his head down and never called any attention to him, too much of anything could be suspicious. Moreover, Dumbledore might be manipulating him, but he didn't seem that interested in killing him. Harry had observed the elves placing several books in the Library which could help him out in this task and H.J. had spent a lot of time there with Luna-it would be suspicious if he hadn't picked anything up.

All the Four Founders had advised him how to get past the dragon. They were well versed in these type of stuff and apparently fighting them was a "lot of fun", to quote Godric. Even his advice was simplistic: Charge the dragon with his sword and cut its head off. Harry had mastered the flame-freezing charm to a great degree and anyway, Godric's sword was enchanted to deflect the fire should need arise.

Rowena had suggested to tire the dragon down with elemental ice spells and conjured snowballs. Being cold blooded, it would hurt the dragon quite a lot and most likely the metallic egg would be rejected by her in favour of her warm, real eggs.

Salazar's advice was useful too. He gave Harry a two hour lecture on how to deal with magical creatures and how he could negotiate with the dragon. Apparently, they understood parseltongue too and Harry had enough echoes to Tommy Boy's Horcrux left in his mind to still speak it. Finally, Salazar had stated, "If you can't be subtle, just transfigure a rock into a he-dragon, hit it with 'Engorgio' a couple of times and make a couple of suitable suggestions in parseltongue...you know what would happen."

Harry's knew what could happen...after all, Dragons were extremely hormonal creatures, but he really didn't want to subject the audience to such horrors. Even if he felt sure Sirius would approve and they deserved it.

However, Helga's solution held merit. Harry strode up, aimed his wand and carefully incanted, "Natalio Draconis." Hearing this unusual spell, the audience piped up, but they certainly never expected something like this to happen.

With the powerful spell, Harry had decreased the embryonic period of the baby dragons to relatively nothing and in a flurry of motion, twelve baby dragons were now crowing near their mother, and the worthless (to the mother, anyway) metallic egg was thrown out by her, especially after Harry explained it was all a trick of the humans.

Harry ended up having to name all the babies as their mother, Susie, explained that it was the customary of the 'uncle' to name the kids. Harry briefly had a fantasy about being a character in the "Dragonriders of Pern" series. Sometime later they all flew away, promising to return again if he needed them.

Hermione and Ron soon came to his tent, apologizing for their conduct and wanting to be his friend again. Despite the rage threatening to overpower him at the sight of Ron, Harry welcomed them with open arms as he realised he now had a chance to free Hermione of the manipulations. A trip to the Room was again in order, this time with his true friend.

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"Harry, why are you dragging me into this?" The brunette witch stumped her feet; she had more important work to do. Ron looked so handsome earlier during the First Task...maybe Colin had taken a picture.

"Well, it might be because I thought you would like to have a look at this." Harry suggested, while holding up the Diadem of Ravenclaw.

Her mouth went dry as she realized what exactly that artefact was. As glorious visions crowded her mind, she barely heard Harry speaking softly to her, "Do you want me to put this on you?"

"Yes please." Harry lifted up a stray lock of her hair and carefully placed it on her head, hoping crazily that this worked.

Hermione's eyes had snapped shut as soon as it was put on her and when she opened them again, five minutes later, they seemed to sparkle more brightly than ever. Her mind was now filled with ancient knowledge and it gifted her with a certain level of maturity, as well as rectifying her self-doubts. All the bonds on her mind were lifted and she now knew the extent to which she had been played. She was angry, so very angry, but anger wasn't the logical answer. It was revenge, and she knew how to obtain it. However, now for the pressing events...

Harry gulped as she took in the appearance of her best friend. Her eyes seemed to darken with lust and a flush appeared on her skin. Yep, there was no doubt about it...she was checking him out. In a husky voice, she spoke, "Harry...I think I agree with Rowena's comment...there is a very strong attraction for powerful wizards." After this, she pounced on the unsuspecting boy, locking lips with him and pushing her tongue into his mouth. She had a lot to research.

As Harry's conscious mind shut down, he agreed with Godric's prominent assortment, "Brainy birds are always naughty."

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"You know, we keep going back to the first circle." Hermione complained after they had completed another workout session in the Room of Requirement. "Until we know why Dumbledore had such an unusual interest in you, we can't really do anything."

"True, but do you have any suggestions as to what we should do?"

Hermione bit her lower lip, "Actually, I think I have found a solution. However, it would require revealing our secrets to someone else too...well, I guess an Unbreakable Vow would make us safe enough." She paused for a second, as if unsure but then made up her mind, "Do you think you can convince H.J. to bring Luna Lovegood here?"

"Why?"

"I am not sure about this, but her family has always been a little odd and has a long history of female seers in successive progenies. From what little I have observed of her, she seems to be distracted too much for it to be a simple case of absent-mindedness...it can be a symptom of her abilities. If she agrees to help us, I can help her train her abilities so that she can give us a real prophecy...or at the very least, something that could give us a clue about the future. Moreover, Dumbledore puts entirely too much stock into prophecies-I know for a fact that he had heard three prophecies during the 1940s and had followed them blindly. One of them had warned him not to face Grindenwald till a specific time and he had never questioned it. "

"Oh, I see now." Harry paused for a second and furrowed his brows in intense concentration-however, nothing happened and after a few moments Harry slumped his shoulders in defeat.

"Harry, what were you trying to accomplish?"

Harry turned to face Hermione with a sorrowful face, "This is my twenty-second failed attempt to know the location of a Crumple-Horned Snorkack using this Room. Luna and H.J. never shuts up about it."

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"Monsieur Potter, please wait." A cultured voice rang out from the Hallway, stopping Harry. He silently cursed his luck-this was the first time he had been out of the Room in months, mainly because he had to meet the Curse Breaker Team in person, and he had to meet up with the French Champion? Even though he had never met her, H.J.'s interactions with her hadn't been pleasant.

Well, that hadn't stopped Harry earlier this morning from saving her sister in the Second Task, so he might as well talk to her in person. He turned around, "Yes, Miss Delacour? You were saying something?"

"Oui." As Fleur glided towards him, suddenly she seemed more beautiful than ever. Her skin was radiant and her face was the definition of beauty. "You were so brave earlier today...I wish to reward you." Saying this, she lowered her head to capture Harry's lips in a searing kiss.

Harry's mind was shocked into silence for a moment before his regained his bearings and gently pushed Fleur off him. "Please don't misunderstand me, but I didn't save your sister for any prospective reward-I did it because it is the right thing to do. Moreover, I already have a girlfriend, and though you are very beautiful, she means the world to me. I am sorry, but I have to decline your offer."

Fleur Delacour had just faced her first rejection in entire life, and she didn't know how to respond to it. The refusal had shocked her, but it made her realise Harry definitely wasn't a 'leetle boy'. A warm smile adorned her face as she contemplated Harry's actions and realised how good he truly was-a shame that he was taken, because he really looked dashing tonight.

She smiled again to how there were no hard feelings and spoke, "I understand, Monsieur Potter. However, please don't hesitate to contact me should you require any help."

Suddenly, a piece of the puzzle clicked in Harry's head. Two days ago, they had uncovered the prophecy supposedly governing his life through Luna's help and had understood that Dumbledore would never stop meddling in his life because to him, Fate demanded the death of Harry Potter for the final defeat of Tom Riddle. They had to be free of him, and he had a plan...

"Well, there's something you can help me with..."

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"You think you can get away with this, Dumbledore, do you? I won't let this stand." Yelled an enraged Igor Karkaroff while pointing his fingers accusatorily at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore sighed from behind his beard. They were in his office, discussing a case of poisoning which the Durmstrung Champion, Victor Krum had suffered from. It was only the timely actions of Severus which had saved the lad. He knew who the culprit was; after all, he had recognised Barty Crouch Jr. as soon as he had stepped into the Castle. He had used Legilimency to know that Voldemort had tasked him with overseeing that Harry won the Tournament, but to take out the Competition this way was just...too unsubtle. Well, you can't expect brilliance from every man, could you?

"Calm down Igor." He tried to soothe the man's ruffled feathers, "You know we have detected the poison and the antidote has been administered. Young Victor would be as good as new in a couple of days."

"I don't care. This happened under your care and I will hold you personally accountable for this sabotage on my champion. I will take this to the ICW Dumbledore, mark my words."

Well, now Igor's whining was grating on Dumbledore's nerves. It was evident that he was trying to gain some political advantage by ruining his image. He decided to nip this in the bud, "Please do so, my friend. However, it would be most unfortunate if a certain mark shows up on your forearm during the proceedings."

"What...What do you mean?" Igor practically shouted, "My past has been buried, as you know very well."

"Please do remember the fact that revealing the names if your Death Eater accomplices was not enough to save you from a mandatory sentence in Azkaban, and it was I who managed to hide your Dark Mark from all detection spells, including that of Voldemort...just as I did for Severus, in exchange for information." Dumbledore expected the customary shudder at the dreaded name-ah, there it was. "It was I who convinced the authorities that true remorse makes the Mark fade away, but both of us know that is not true. It would be most unfortunate if it appears again...to lose your comfortable home life would be such a shame."

Igor practically crowed, "You can't, Dumbledore. I have experimented on it for years, even employed some of the best of Bulgaria. It can't be revealed again."

"Well, if you want to know a secret..." Dumbledore purposefully stopped and continued, "Please try the normal detection spell on it for once." He was certain that Igor had picked it up when his face went pale; the spell was directly tied to the power of the wizard. Since he had hidden it using his considerable prowess, it would simply require overpowering the standard spell (maybe by having it cast simultaneously by five or six persons) to reveal it-a simple trick, but most effective. He spoke again, "You may try your luck...or maybe not." Finally recognizing his defeat, Igor stomped away.

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"Are you sure that it would be enough?" Asked an obviously concerned Harry as both Hermione and Luna rolled their eyes. Honestly, it was about the eleventh time, and he himself had come up with the plan.

Still, Hermione went over it again, "Yes Harry; by successfully impersonating Igor Karkaroff, you have managed to know the secret why his Dark Mark was claimed to have been removed and he was released without punishment. Dumbledore had already stated that he had done it on purpose and giving a false testimony to ICW is a punishable offence. Even if your memory of the event doesn't count, Mr. Delacour's certainly would; he isn't the Head of DMLE in the French Ministry for nothing." She paused for a second as she realised how it had come to pass-Who knew that such a capable wizard would have a firefly as an Animagus form? Dumbledore had purposefully deactivated the wards in the castle which was capable of detecting them-maybe in the hope that Sirius would arrive in the Castle, slip up and be captured, thus leaving Harry without a guardian, but it had worked out pretty well for them this time. Poisoning Krum was also his idea...she hadn't really objected because that git had the nerve to ask her out at the Yule Ball and expecting her to fall over her feet at the 'request'. Her new personality had a much...shorter fuse. "We have also captured Karkaroff and we have shipped him off to Switzerland; it's neutral territory and Dumbledore really has no pull there. Mr. Delacour has assured us that they would give Sirius a fair trial as well, given the fact that he was never convicted. The fact that he managed to get the International Portkeys to ship him off without alerting any major personalities is nice, but we really couldn't expect any less from him. If he can be free, we can obtain even more material to incriminate Dumbledore with. Many of Dumbledore's Deputy Heads would also be happy to lead us help in ousting him and back-up our charges...after all, they can't be the Boss until he is gone, and nothing is of greater interest to a politician."

"I know, I know, 'Mione." Harry shrugged, "But that man is too clever. I don't think anything will stick on him. We need to catch him red-handed."

"At least he had to temporarily step down from his international posts so that he couldn't officially give any help to the champion of Hogwarts during the Tournament", Luna offered. The guidance given to her had allowed her to control her gift and use it judiciously, thereby cancelling the side-effects of continuously seeing divergent futures and being lost to the world.

She still was very prone to making odd suggestions, however, including her firm belief that all the house-elves of Hogwarts were former students who had been punished for breaking certain rules. Not even Rowena could dissuade her of this notion.

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Daily Prophet Special Edition, by Rita Skeeter:

Yesterday, in a stunning turn of events, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was called into Geneva for an ongoing investigation about his prized student Harry Potter. Apparently, Mr. Potter had charged him with embezzling his funds, not respecting his parents' wishes and disobeying the instructions placed in their wills about him. Mr. Potter also stated that Dumbledore was responsible for the wrongful imprisonment of his godfather Sirius Black!

That's right, my readers. Apparently, Sirius Black was not the one who betrayed James and Lily Potter to You-Know-Who, and was recently cleared of all his charges by an independent tribunal in Switzerland. (For the details of the investigation, visit page 6).

Jean-Sebastian Delacour and Reginald Drosser, ambassadors of the French and German Ministry of magic also jointly brought in a surprise charge against the esteemed headmaster. They gave a formal statement and to quote them, "Albus Dumbledore is guilty of hiding a marked Death Eater from being brought to justice and presenting false evidence to the International Confederation of Wizards. No further comments shall be issued until he is questioned about these matters." The Death Eater in question is Igor Karkaroff, responsible for ending the life of Mr. Drosser's only son. A sense of revenge, perhaps?

The investigation was certainly entertaining. Even though many more interesting facts came out, Dumbledore managed to get way with most of his charges. However, it was decided that he would be sacked from being the Headmaster of Hogwarts due to the dangers the students have faced under his care, his permission to the Defence Instructor to use Unforgivable Curses on the students as well as he hiring another Death Eater as a stuff member. (Severus Tobias Snape, possibly the greasiest man I ever had to misfortune to meet and Alastor Moody were the staff in question. The Aurors have currently arrested them and they are to be detained for questioning.)

Albus Dumbledore apparently wasn't satisfied with this outcome and asked for a meeting with Harry Potter before the final verdict was given. He convinced the Jury that young Mr. Potter could provide them with evidence which would suggest the students were never in any danger.

Their conversation didn't even last for ten minutes. Mr. Potter made it clear that he would never drop any charges against him and even if he wasn't satisfied with the Court's decision, it would have to do. When his back was turned, Albus Dumbledore cast the Imperious Curse on him to force him to his will! How he retained his wand was a mystery...apparently, too many people still see and worship him as a god.

What followed was a mysterious comment from the young wizard, "Wrong move, Dumbledore. H.J. might be affected by this pesky spell from Moody, but you certainly won't control me ever again." Following this, he shrugged the curse off as if it was nothing.

Knowing that his gig was up, Dumbledore tried to call for his pet Phoenix to transport him out of there. No help arrived, as Mr. Potter calmly stated that "As the heir to the Gryffindor and Slytherin bloodline, I have taken over the Castle Wards for the present moment, Dumbledore. Fawkes won't hear your call of help, nor will he sense your distress. Your game is up."

Currently, Albus Dumbledore has been sentenced to ten years in Azkaban prison. Now, my readers, aren't you interested to know why Dumbledore reacted hastily after casting the failed unforgivable? It doesn't sound like the composed Headmaster we have come to know, does it?

According to healer Smythe, an unforgivable always leaves an imprint...both on the caster and the victim. They would have pinned down Dumbledore anyway and even he couldn't bluff his way out of it. So, he tried to take the easy way out, but Mr. Potter managed to disable his plans and destroy the man who ruined his childhood.

To know about Mr. Potter's ruined childhood, a truly heart-wrenching story, turn to page eleven.

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"Potter!" Came the enraged and squeaking voice of the red-headed menace, just like the rat he formerly owned. "What's the meaning of this, huh?" He yelled waving a stack of papers at Harry.

"Nothing...just a legal notice to some of the Weasley family members to return the money they removed from my vaults without my permission, as soon as possible. I am not surprised that you have difficulty in comprehending it though...after all, didn't you think 'Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow, Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow' is a real spell?" Harry taunted his former friend.

Ron's face had turned an unholy shade of red at this taunt and he yelled, "So this is how you are going to treat me and my family, huh? This after we have done so much for you and taken you in when no-one else wanted you. Remember, Potter that you are a pathetic freak who doesn't even have a friend other than me." He finished smugly, expecting Harry to shirk back as he knew how uncomfortable he used to be at the mention of his family. What he didn't expect was a solid fist to connect at the back of his head and knock him out even before Harry did anything.

"Aww, Neville, did you really have to do that? I was so looking forward to take a few swings at him." Harry whined.

Neville made a show of brushing the dust from his knuckles and grinned, "Nah, you were wasting time and this idiot was ruining my mood." Then he turned serious, "Really, I have wanted to do that for a long time...right from the First Year, really. He always kept bragging about being a friend of the Boy-Who-Lived and never let other people come close enough to you to be your friend. I have to admit that even I craved under peer pressure and never supported you earlier this year, Harry, but despite that you helped me out so much that I will forever remain in your debt. I have outgrown my shell only because of you...take this as a small token of appreciation."

Harry smiled at the once shy teen to show that there as no hard feelings-really, he too was a pawn in Dumbledore's game and had been affected by Dumbledore almost as much as he had been. Neville was most likely a replacement if something ever happened to Harry. Then, Harry's smile turned sinister. There was something more to be done with Ron...

Ron woke up at an unfamiliar place groggily. What the hell had happened to him? Where was he?

The answer came to him instantly; it was the Chamber of Secrets, as sinister as the time he had visited it two years ago.

Unfortunately (for him), at the absence of the King of serpents, the tunnel had been filled with horde of beings who belonged to the same species as Aragog.

From that day it also became well established in the castle that a Moaning Myrtle had a ghostly soul-mate known as Sobbing Screamer.

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"Expelliarmus, Incarcerous, Stupefy." Harry chained the three spells as soon as his feet touched the ground, blowing away the approaching Death Eater and rendering him unconscious-It was Pettigrew. Apparently, there was something to be said about poetic justice. He had easily picked up the fact that the Triwizard Cup was a portkey, but had decided to wing it anyway-from the information the Aurors had gleaned off Barty Crouch Junior's mind, this looked like the stage of the Final confrontation.

Yes, there he was. Harry approached the smallish homunculus carefully, "Hello, Tom Riddle. We meet again."

"Harry Potter." The creature observed with little to no fear, but with a sense of confusion and disappointment. "I have to admire your reflexes...it certainly wasn't the work of an ordinary fourteen year old." With a pause, he continued, "Unfortunately, you would not be alive to tell this tale. Avada Kedavra." The green death magic raced towards Harry Potter, but he smirked and with a slight twist, moved out of it's trajectory. At the same instant, Voldemort felt a powerful binding spell inhibiting his movements. Damn it all! He had to escape...well, retreat. Somehow, Potter was much more powerful than his sources had reported. Yes, there was a way...not too healthy, but a feasible way.

Harry could sense the magic as it moved out of the homunculus and entered the stunned Pettigrew. With ruby-red eyes, the possessed wizard sprung up and tried to apparate away, only to face an invisible wall.

"Tom, Tom, Tom." Harry shook his head mockingly, "We can't have you escaping, can we? Apparition won't work here...it's pretty much like Hogwarts now." He didn't really have any more patience...he was going to blast that maniac into pieces.

Wait...it won't work. They had not yet found all the Horcruxes. He could bind him up, keep him imprisoned for the time, or...

"I propose we end this all now by facing each other in a honour duel to the death. Only one of us would walk out alive. I would even throw in an olive branch...we'd try the Cormic Style, so that both of us has an exactly equal amount of magical power. I figure Peter hasn't got enough to offer you."

Arrogant boy, Voldemort seethed. Does he think that he is better than me? Well, he'd show Potter...he knew spells which would make him cry, equal power or not...it was experience which counted anyway.

"I accept, Potter." Voldemort stated and the duel began.

Little did he now that he had just sealed his fate. If he lost, the terms clearly stated that he would die...not even his Horcruxes could save him now. With their powers being clearly equal, the Prophecy was fulfilled and Fate had no purpose of interfering with this bout. If someone was present there to record it, it would have been called as the finest example of magical battle anyone had ever seen. A few hours later, Harry emerged victorious...really, you couldn't lose after centuries of obscure knowledge and advanced battle techniques are taught to you by the very best.

The fact that a nymphomaniac girlfriend was eagerly waiting for him back at Hogwarts might have provided Harry with extra inspiration.

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'Life is good', thought Harry as he once again woke up next to his two loves. He had never really thought out his life would turn out to be so good, but it had-especially after Sirius had named his heir before passing away due to natural causes-Azkaban really did a number on him. To keep both Potter and Black titles alive, his solicitor had snottily told him, he had to take in two wives.

When he had approached the two most important girls in his life with his offer, he had expected to be slapped, killed or maimed horribly, but the mindblowing snogging sessions were way more welcome with him. He also managed to have his first threesome that night. Using the Diadem of Ravenclaw might have led to some unusual changes in both Hermione and Luna, including slightly altering their orientation, but Harry wasn't complaining a bit!

Luna felt him stirring and asked, "What are you thinking, Harry?"

"Nothing...just how happy my life is. I certainly never imagined it."

"True...neither had I, not even with my gifts." She pouted.

Hermione stirred from the other side and added her two knuts worth, "Remember what I told you both-Divination is useless."

Finish!

Missing Scenes: To be a Perfect Slytherin

"Godric...you said you had a relationship with both Rowena and Helga?" Asked a puzzled Harry.

"Why lad, I believe I had." Leered Godric, "Good times too."

"Um...wasn't Salazar jealous or something?"

"Well, he wasn't...he had pretty different tastes. Only reason he had to adopt Slycus, really."

"Right", Harry agreed in a voice filled with horror at this titbit of information. He mused that Draco maybe was the perfect Slytherin after all; even if he didn't know the 'S' of subtlety, between his hair-care and two goons following him around, he might be the only one who continued in the path of the Founder of his House.

Missing Scenes #2: How Harry Beat Voldemort

"I accept, Potter." Voldemort stated and the duel began.

"All House elves of Hogwarts, to me." Harry cried out instead of casting a spell as Voldemort stopped casting his own in confusion...stupidest mistake he had ever made in his stupid life. The House-elves were very adamant on protecting the master of their Castle, after all.

After the remains of Voldemort were cleared off, Harry smirked, "Maybe the power he knew not was an army of House elves."

A/N: My first attempt at Lunar Harmony, along with the Four Founders type of storyline. The backstory of Salazar was extremely influenced by clell65619's "Harry Potter and the Elder Sect", which by the way is a WAY, WAY better story. This started as a pure humour/parody fic, but it soon developed a tangible plot and turned out to be way different than my initial plan, but I am happy with it's current state. Please review and tell me if I succeeded or not.