Beetlejuice in "Silent Payback"

Author's Note: This is a story idea I had started a while ago and had posted 7 chapters of in DeviantArt. I don't know why I didn't think to post it here on FanFiction, but here goes nothing, I suppose.

Cartoon-verse. Crossover with Silent Hill, but merely with concept. I don't think I'll use any other SH characters other than Pyramid Head and some of the known SH demonic denizens. I plan on this eventually having the pairing of BJ/Lydia.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 1: Been Long Enough…

The Neitherworld wasn't all hellfire and brimstone, but it wasn't all fluffy clouds and halos either. Like most things, it depended on where you went in this particularly wacky afterlife. Some would say that it would depend on who you asked about the subject.

If you asked a certain group of 7 individuals, the afterlife is a living (or is it dying?) Hell, all originally caused by one poltergeist and his living Goth-girl cohort…

Somewhere deep within the slums of Los Diablos, Caliscornia, away from the decadently-gross mansions of the rich and heinous, there was one derelict building that stood out from the other nicely broken homes: the large, obvious crimson-red banner with the acronym "S.N.O.T.R.A.G." hanging off the roof. Other factions of L.D.'s criminal masses think of the banner as a suicidal invitation for the LDPD. The members of SNOTRAG see it as free advertising. Inside the run-down shanty, an odd assortment of undead were assembled, mostly by lounging in a chair, the floor, or (in Jesse Germs' case) flopped on the rat-infested couch.

"Ehh… So what's this meetin' about, Mr. Big?" huffed Jesse Germs, the skeletal outlaw, a few stubborn strips of decomposing flesh still on him. He showed his boredom by refusing to lift his cowboy hat from over his eyes as he slacked.

"Yeah! I doubt we're here to watch Captain Kidder's new TV special!" guffawed Scuzzo the Clown. The hunchbacked lunatic hadn't changed much over the few years either. Then again, the more-inferior clowns rarely change their act…

"Mr. Monitor is quite naughty to give airtime to that puny hack" quipped Little Miss Warden. Puberty had done a number on the leader of NeitherNeitherWorld. Now 14 (by living standards), she had already gained some curves and a small chest, but still keeps to her publicly-known obsession of girly-girl doll fashions. Her blonde curls now sprawl down to the middle of her back. She was currently licking her way through a novelty giant-sized lollipop.

"No, see? I called this meeting for one big reason, see?" the Capone-esque voice of Mr. Big sneered as he stood below a giant TV screen. Yes, below. Much to the old-school gangster's chagrin, he had not grown at all, not even one inch. "We here at SNOTRAG have managed to get a foothold in the crime racket since moving to the City of Devils, yes. But that is only because of the lack of interference from a certain problem, a problem that we have never defeated, see…?"

"Err, generic stereotyping?" answered Bartholomew Batt, still uber-retro as ever.

"Cliché schemes? If I have to rob just ONE more bank, I'll…" grumbled Jesse.

"Your breath?" honked Fuzzo, Scuzzo's non-speaking sidekick. (Scuzzo provided verbal translation)

"No, you buncha rubes! Beetlejuice!" snapped Mr. Big as he threw his fedora hat to the ground. "The fact that we still haven't destroyed him bothers me. What if he decides to come here and clean our clocks?"

"You make it sound like he's that vigilante from the Living World, Batman. We all know he doesn't care what icky criminals do as long as they're not in his slimy way" snarled Miss Warden. Bartholomew glared. "Hey! I'm the only bat guy on this show, ya understand me, girly?!"

Warden smirked. "I knew that would get you upset. Very naughty to yell at a lady, Barty!" she chided as she smacked the black-n-white villain upside the head with her lolly. Scuzzo and Fuzzo pointed and laughed, as they are wont to do.

Mr. Big fired his tommy gun into the air. "Enough! Don't you get it?! Sure, we're succeeding here! We actually mean something, even if we're small-time right now, see? But we all know that, on a whim, he could find out where we are, barge in here, and beat us just for fun! FUN! Remember our past attempts?!"

A very unlady-like growl couldn't help but escape from the mouth of Miss Warden. A memorable defeat in recent years involved her trying to use a Love potion on Beetlejuice in yet another attempt to "fix" him (and to strategically drive a wedge between him and his all-important ally, Lydia). However, as bad luck would have it, she ended up being the first female he saw after being tricked into drinking it. Long story short, BJ ended up being her first kiss… ever. She didn't know what was worse: her getting her ass kicked or the fact that if Lydia hadn't managed to put a stop to the potion's effects when she did, Warden wouldn't be a virgin today… She had learned an important lesson after that: If you're going to trick an enemy of the opposite sex into drinking a love potion, don't appear and make some sort of erudite speech the second after he swallows it…

Jesse chuckled. "That first romance still buggin' ya, doll? At least I stick to my side of the law when it comes to the ladies" Warden seethed in silence in one of the few moments where her face actually didn't look so cute… Scuzzo and Fuzzo guffawed again. Typical demented clowns, they laugh at anyone's misfortune. Mr. Big clicked on the big-screen which began showing random clips of the many solo and team attempts to attack and end Beetlejuice.

"I've learned something from this, see? ...Most of our plans seem good on paper, they're superb in execution, but… we can never seem to hold the advantage. Why, you rubes?! There's ALWAYS something getting in the way, see? And that something is… HER!" he says, pausing the clip show right as a good view of a familiar mortal girl came up. Scuzzo and Fuzzo ceased their laughter as the paused clip was of the mortal cramming a banana-scream pie in Fuzzo's face.

Her raven-black hair was done up into that ever-present topknot, despite the fact that it had grown as much as she did. Her signature red/black spiderweb-patterned poncho looked smaller, but it was more to accentuate her developing figure. At the time of this clip, she was still quite petite, just taller with the hint of breasts and thighs. Her face was quite striking with cute pouty lips, her still-tiny nose, and dark eyes that would catch anyone's attention if she were to seek it. Attractive, for a mortal…

Mr. Big frowned. "Yes, this girl… If we are to bury Beetlebreath once and for all, we have to do something about her but good!"

"But what? We aren't murderers, are we? That would be very naughty! Besides, aren't you being paranoid? That's very rude and untrustworthy! We're here now, they're on the East Coast!" Warden piped up, sounding nervous about Big's implications, despite her rage.

"At this point, dame, I don't give a damn. We got to do something! Make the first move before he does, see?!"

Warden sat back down and sucked on her lolly, muttering something about a jack-in-the-box and baseless fears.

"I got it!" The voice came from a corner, the owner being the only member of SNOTRAG to have not spoken yet throughout this meeting, despite his nature. A big mouth in a very literal sense, Lipscum was sporting a wide smile as he held up a macabre-looking book.

"This girl is alive, right? Right? Yeah! So that means she's from the Otherworld, yes? The world of living people? I got something about the living world that we could use as a weapon if this is done right. Let's use it! Hit 'em where it hurts, huh? Huh?!"

Jesse Germs lifted his hat to take a glance at what the lamebrain had. "Ugh… I thought it was common law nowadays that no one should trust dangerous-looking books. Seen this scenario so many times, ever since the Necronomicon got loose… This doesn't sound groovy to me!" With that, he pulled his filthy cowboy hat all the way over his face, disapprovingly.

"Wait, that happened? I thought that was legend, or at least a good joke!" Scuzzo chuckled.

"Nyaah, that "falling apart at the seams" schtick worked when Lipscum got him to say it. Let's hear this out. Wha'dya have, pal?" sneered Bartholomew.

The grin on Lipscum's face, if it could be called that, got wider. "Ever hear of a little town called Silent Hill…?"

Author's Note: And there's Chapter 1. Not sure if I should just load the 7 current chapters I have all at once or perhaps one chapter a day or something. Either way, I hope that you enjoy this and please review. I would appreciate suggestions and comments, especially since I still need to work on Chapter 8… I've been on hiatus on this, sadly… But hopefully, some feedback might bring some inspiration or motivation.