Hi guys!

So… Have you seen Captain America The Winter Soldier yet? No? Bad you. Go and see it right now, for it is excellent. I would go as far as to say that it was better than The Avengers, but it's a close second. I love Cap more than ever.

And because when I love, I write, I decided to write a fanfiction, instead of writing original stuffs that I could actually publish. I was wondering what the other Avengers were up to, while Cap, Nat, Falcon and Fury (let's not forget about Hill, too) were doing what they were doing on their side. May I say that there were so many characters involved in this movie that there wasn't a lot of characters left to use? Well among the four remaining, of course, I chose Tony Stark. Because Tony Stark.

As usual, I'm French, so, if there's any grammar mistake or any word I misused, please make sure to tell me.

As for the disclaimers, I think we have established, by now, that I in no case am the one who created the MCU. And if I was, oh my… What I would do with those characters… Hum. So anyway, enjoy.

Heroes

It was in the afternoon that he first heard the news. He had spent the night and the morning working on some random project in the workshop. Bruce was sitting across the room, in front of him, pretending to be reading some book while he was really watching him. He just had to look up from his project, to see that Bruce was not-so-discreetly glancing at him. He wasn't sure if Pepper had asked him to do that or if it had been his own move, but he found that it didn't bother him as much as it could have. He didn't hate the company. Not anymore.

He remembered exactly how it had happened. He was reaching out to grab the screwdriver, when suddenly, Pepper stormed into the room. Surprised, he lifted his head. He opened his mouth to speak, but he didn't. The look on her face stopped him from speaking, from making some smart-ass comment about anything that would pop into his head. He could tell from it that it was a big deal, that it wasn't the right time for a bad joke.

"Tony!" She cried out.

"What's up?" He asked, trying and failing not to sound too anxious. Bruce stood up, worried.

She didn't respond right away, catching her breath, trying to find the words. Sometimes, there were no right words.

"The TV. Turn on the TV", she finally said in a whisper.

He grabbed the remote, and turned the TV on, and it all came to him in a blurred flow of information, at first, too much for him to grasp it all at once. When his brain separated all there was, his heart nearly stopped.

The S.H.I.E.L.D. The helicarriers. Hydra. All those Agents, compromised, dead, betrayed, he didn't-

He just didn't- And Steve.

Steve. Missing. Fallen. Gone. Drowned. Lost. Oh, God, what had he done? What had he-

He thought about the suit. Getting the suit. Except he didn't have the suit anymore. It was gone, they were all gone, because of him, because he didn't make a new one, because he was so selfish, so wrong all the time, because he couldn't do anything right, and now Steve-

Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?

Nothing. He knew that. He was nothing without the suit, and now he didn't even have that anymore.

He foolishly thought about making a new one, real quick, to look for Steve, but he dismissed it. There was no time for that. Oh, God, what had he done? What-

What could he do now? How could he fix it? What if it was impossible, what if there was nothing to be done, what if Steve-

"Holy-What the Hell happened?" He heard a voice, but it wasn't real, it was all too slow, all too fast, all too vague to be true. What had he done? He had thought that he was doing the right thing, offering his help with the Helicarriers, helping S.H.I.E.L.D., helping Fury, helping the world, and it turned out that he was working for the enemy, and now Steve had disappeared, and it was all his fault...

When his brain reconnected with reality, Bruce was staring at the TV, the light glow of the screen reflecting in his glasses, a look of pain, of shock, of disbelief, of anger on his face. Tony would almost have been worried about him 'Hulking out', if he didn't seem so petrified. Just like him. Suddenly, he didn't feel so lonely, except he was, now.

It was his fault.

"I came as soon as I heard. Apparently, S.H.I.E.L.D. has been compromised by Hydra for a while, and we only found out about it now." Pepper's voice was weak, and he barely heard her. "Steve gave a speech at the S.H.I.E.L.D. base an hour or so ago, and now, he's-" Her voice faltered and died in her throat.

"What can we do?" Bruce said. Tony looked up to him, to see Bruce staring at him, waiting, expecting an answer. Expecting orders. Only, he couldn't give them to him. He had nothing. He wasn't Steve. Steve gave orders. He was the Captain, their leader. Tony wasn't a leader. He pretended to be one, but, while he could fool his friends, his partners, the world, he couldn't fool himself. He knew better. He was as defenseless, as a coward as the rest of the world.

He gulped. If Bruce, if anyone needed him to lead, to make choices, to save the day, then Bruce, and anyone, was screwed.

You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.

He wasn't. He knew that. He wasn't a hero, he was a failure who couldn't even protect the people he cared about. Useless. Weak. Scared. Steve was a hero. And now, he was-

"I guess all we can do is wait", Pepper said. Tony looked back at the screen. He tried to watch, but he couldn't see anything. He nodded absentmindedly. He was lost, somewhere between reality and fantasy. What he could have done, what he would have done, had he known, had he been wiser, smarter, faster, stronger.

Sometimes, there isn't a way out.

He was lost, and he could do nothing but wait.

The phone call came later in the afternoon.

The three of them were sitting in front of the TV, still watching the news, still waiting for a change, for the News. They didn't say it out loud, but they all thought the same thing, gathered in silence, close but separated by the tension in the air. They were waiting for the journalist to receive a new information. They were waiting for an expression of pain, of true sadness. They were waiting for the words they would say. Something that would sound like 'a body has been found. We have the deepest regret to announce you that Captain America is-'

The phone rang, distracting them from their thought. Tony picked it up quickly, holding it tight in his hand.

"Hello?"

"Tony, it's Natasha."

His heart nearly stopped. It was it. Of course, medias wouldn't know it first. She would. She was with him, and she knew, and now she called, so that meant that the worst had happened. He didn't reply.

"You heard the news?" She asked. He nodded, before realizing that she couldn't see him over the phone. He cleared his throat.

"Yeah. Wanna tell me what the fuck happened?"

"It's a little long, but… Can you come over? I'll explain everything."

"First, tell me about Steve", he urged. His knees were weak, so weak beneath him, barely holding him up. It was a miracle that he was still standing. He thought about New York, and about everything, before and after that. How came that he always had the strength to keep fighting then, but now, now that he was trapped in his tower because there was nothing he could do anyway, he felt so paralyzed, like a child, unable to move, unable to-?

Put on the suit.

The second before Natasha answered lasted a whole eternity. Thoughts ran fast in his mind. What would he do if…

"We found him", she finally said. "He's alive. He's in bad shape, but he will be fine."

He didn't even try to suppress the sigh of relief. Bruce watched him warily, but seemed less pale than before. Pepper's breathing steadied. He felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He hadn't even told them who was on the phone.

"Where are you now?" He asked.

When he came into the hospital room, he almost stepped back. He wasn't prepared. He had thought that he was, but seeing Steve Rogers, usually so strong, lying unconscious on a bed, it was-

"Weird, isn't it?" He turned around, and noticed a man, sitting in a chair at the side of the bed. He was looking right at him. "Sam Wilson."

"Tony Stark."

"I figured." He glanced at Steve, then back at him. "Natasha said you'd come. She went for coffee."

Tony nodded. "Thanks." Then, he hurried out of the room. Bruce and Pepper watched him leave, getting into the room. He crossed the hallway, looking for the closest coffee machine he could find. He sat on a chair, staring at his feet.

"I couldn't stay in the room, either", Natasha said, a chair away from him.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Straight to the point? How unlike you", she teased, then she sighed. "It's complicated. A lot happened."

"So I've heard. Tell me about Hydra."

"I'll tell you everything I know."

When he came back home at the tower, that night, he was still deep in his thoughts.

"So Fury's dead?" His voice was flat. He was so tired. He felt like he hadn't slept in two days. Which, thinking back, might have been the case.

"Yes."

"And S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone?"

"Yes."

For a while, he didn't say anything, trying to process the information. At this point, nothing would surprise him anymore. "Gosh, I wish you'd have called me. I could have done something. I could have tried, anyway."

"I've read the report about you", she said softly. "You don't have the suit. You couldn't have done much."

She had no idea how fiercely it hurt him to hear those words. He pursued his lips. "I know. I just- I feel powerless. I feel like shit."

"How do you think I felt? For years, I've worked for S.H.I.E.L.D., and I just found out about all this now. I feel stupid."

He reached out to press the button of his stage on the elevator, but he drew his hand back at the last moment.

"I am lost. I have no idea what I'm going to do now", she confessed. "I've been a spy my whole life, and now…"

He wanted to tell her that she would be fine, but he didn't feel like telling lies anymore. He had no idea what would happen, to her, to him, to them all. He knew who would know.

"Steve's going to wake up", he said. "He'll be fine, and he'll help you. He'll tell you what to do."

She smiled a little. "You care about him."

"No. I don't know what you're talking about. Go away."

She chuckled lightly, and held back a yawn. He cast a glance at her, studying her. He could read the weariness on her face, and wondered when was the last time she had gotten any sleep. Maybe she was a hero, in her own way. He wondered if someone with such a troubled past could be one.

"Maybe I do care", he admitted. But it didn't change anything. It didn't make him feel any better, about himself or about the situation.

"You're a good leader, Tony", she said.

"A leader", he repeated. "I don't even have the suit, anymore."

"You don't need the suit to be a good person", she whispered.

The elevator door closed behind him. He took several steps in the workshop.

"Good evening, sir", Jarvis' disembodied voice greeted him. "May I ask about Mr. Rogers?"

"He's-He's going to make it", Tony replied, running his fingers over one of the floating screens, which glowed in bright blue at his touch.

"I am glad to hear that, sir." He barely paid attention to is A.I. "May I help you with anything?"

"But I need it to be a hero", he said. To try. To do better, because he could, because he had to. Because so many people wanted to help, but weren't able to, but he was. Because it could -he could- make a difference. Make things better.

"Jarvis, get me the designs for my suits", he ordered. As soon as he was done speaking, the screen he was staring at lighted up, files jumping in the empty air. "I'm going to make a new one."

The holograms twitched, and he went to work. When Steve would wake up, he would be Iron Man again. He would be himself again. And next time, he would be able to fight alongside the heroes.

I just realized that it was the first time I ever published a fanfiction on Tony Stark or on The Avengers (and it's my favorite movie, shame on me). I hope it wasn't too bad to read. I wrote it in a bus on my phone, to be honest, and though I checked it later, I'm not sure if I made sense 'till the end.

So, let me know what you thought, both about the movie and the fanfiction. Bye, and have a lovely… Evening? Night? Day? Whatever you're having, make it good :).

BxB.