I wanted to write sailor!Klaine ever since the STD spoof, so here's my contribution! I'm sorry that it gets so romance novel-esque at the end, but what can you do?

Kurt hadn't really foreseen his time in the Navy going like this, if he was being honest. He'd pictured serving for a year or two in some boring little coast town before getting honorably discharged and going to college on the Navy's dime so he could start his real future. He hadn't pictured serving on a huge aircraft carrier that actually went out into the open ocean. He hadn't pictured enjoying sailing or even being any good at it. He especially hadn't pictured anyone like Admiral Blaine Anderson.

Kurt suppressed a sigh at the thought of the admiral, tanned and handsome in his spotless white uniform and neatly slicked-back hair at the helm of the ship. There were rumors floating around the ship that he was gay, which definitely pleased Kurt, but even after the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, the admiral had remained stubbornly uptight about his love life. Kurt himself had rejoiced at the repeal of that regressive piece of crap, making a semi-drunken announcement to the whole ship's crew that he was incredibly gay at dinner the night they'd found out the news. Thankfully, no one had bothered him after that, though he could tell there were a few sailors on board who weren't as accepting as the vast majority of his crewmates.

"Hey, Hummel!" an angry voice yelled suddenly, snapping Kurt out of his reverie. "Quit daydreaming about screwing your way through the ship and get your rainbow-filled ass back to work!" Kurt whipped his head away from the water to see his fellow SN Azimio glaring at him like he was fantasizing about snapping Kurt's neck.

"Calm down, Azimio!" he yelled back, rolling his eyes and leaning against the ship's rail. "I got permission to come abovedecks for a minute to get some fresh air because I was feeling seasick back in the engine room. I'll be out of your unflatteringly crew-cutted hair in a sec!"

"Ladyboy can't handle the work around here, why am I not surprised?" Azimio said as he sidled closer to Kurt. "Seems to me like I'd be doing everyone a favor if I just pitched you overboard and unloaded you like the useless ballast you are." He grabbed at Kurt's arms, but Kurt quickly dodged him and darted closer to the center of the ship.

"Have you lost your mind?" Kurt questioned furiously. "How would you explain me going missing to the admiral? 'Oh, he just stepped out for a smoke, he'll be right back'?"

"Like the admiral would miss some prissy little twink like you," Azimio shot back. "You probably want to turn him and make this whole ship into some kind of floating sodomy palace."

"I should be offended by that, but honestly, I'm just impressed you even know what 'sodomy' means," Kurt said. "The Navy has really worked wonders for you."

"Alright, that's enough from you, homo. Get ready for a swim," Azimio said, running directly at Kurt. Kurt braced himself and aimed a punch at Azimio's gut, making hard enough contact that for a second he was afraid that the other sailor was going to barf all over his clean uniform. Azimio went down hard, pulling Kurt down with him as he yanked at Kurt's legs. The resounding thud they made as they hit drew a crowd up to see what was happening, but Kurt ignored them, focusing solely on trying to incapacitate Azimio before he could get a solid grip on Kurt's body.

"What is going on here?" Blaine's voice cut through the clamor of Kurt and Azimio's scuffle and the rowdy spectators, bringing them all to a halt. Kurt and Azimio stood up and saluted the admiral as fast as humanly possible.

"Fucking princess flew at me for no reason!" Azimio said quickly, pointing a finger at Kurt. "I think he wanted to convert me. He should be kicked off this ship, he's a menace!"

"Liar! You wanted to throw me overboard because you're a homophobic prick!" Kurt said, hating how high his voice got when he was agitated. He thought it made him sound guilty, which wouldn't really help his case.

"Azimio, my office. Hummel, get to the medic, your face is bleeding. Once you're cleaned up, come see me," the admiral said authoritatively. Kurt scurried off instantly, touching a hand to his face and pulling it back to see that, oh, yeah, his temple was bloody. Azimio must have clipped him harder than he'd thought.

Kurt got out of the medic's office mere moments after he arrived, needing only some bandages and antiseptic. "Head wounds always bleed more than others, regardless of severity," the medic informed him, easily dressing Kurt's cuts. "Keep this clean for the next couple days, then come see me again so we can make sure it's not getting infected or going to scar." Kurt promised he would and quickly made his exit, not wanting to leave the admiral waiting long. He knocked shyly on the admiral's door after winding his way across the ship.

"Come in," Blaine called, and Kurt did, taking a seat when Blaine gestured to the empty chair in front of him. God, he's handsome even when he's furious, Kurt thought before he could stop himself, grateful that Blaine had turned away from him so he couldn't see the blush pop up on his face. Blaine had his arms folded across his chest and was looking out of the porthole in his wall. "Azimio's sticking to his story that you were trying to make a pass at him out there."

"He's lying," Kurt said vehemently. "He's been unpleasant to me since the day I came out at dinner. I didn't think he would stoop this low, to be fair, but he's been looking for ways to get me off this ship since then."

"I believe you," Blaine said simply, turning back around. Kurt's jaw dropped slightly. "Once I told him that I'm also 'a dick-loving fairy,' to his term for it, I thought I was going to be cleaning vomit off my floor for a week."

"You-" Kurt said, stunned. All the air seemed to have been forced out his chest at Blaine's revelation. The only thought left in his mind was a looped oh my God oh my God oh my-

"I know I don't air it, but I served under Don't Ask, Don't Tell a lot longer than you did," Blaine said. His smile seemed both kind and reserved. "Old habits die hard."

"I understand, sir." Kurt was impressed that he was even that coherent. "So what's going to happen now?"

"I'm recommending that Seaman Azimio be transferred to another ship, preferably one that's now on display to civilians." Kurt grinned wickedly at that, his vindictive side pleased that battle-hungry Azimio would soon be cooling his heels on some retired museum-ship. Blaine paused before he continued, looking a little...distracted? Kurt couldn't think of a more fitting word, even though he didn't understand why Blaine looked that way. "And you will be given a week's cleaning duty for fighting, since it was apparent that you were only acting out of self-defense."

"That's more than fair, sir. Thank you," Kurt said, honestly grateful. He didn't want anything on his record that might get him dishonorably discharged. "If you need me to give a deposition or anything, I'm willing. He accused me of trying to turn the ship into a 'floating sodomy palace,' starting with you." Kurt air-quoted around Azimio's exact words as Blaine made a small choking noise.

"I'll be sure to tell you if I need your account of this incident," Blaine said after a moment. "I'm flattered that he'd think you'd set your sights on me before anyone else on this ship, I suppose."

"I don't think it's that much of a stretch," Kurt said before his brain could intervene. He instantly turned a bright red and clapped a hand over his mouth. "I'm so sorry if that was out of line, sir," he apologized, muffled somewhat by his hand. Blaine walked over to Kurt slowly and gently pulled his hand away from his face.

"It's fine, Kurt," he said softly, making Kurt's head spin with the smoothness of his voice and how good he smelled. "I'm glad that a man as gorgeous as you would consider me attractive, especially after seeing some of the other guys aboard this ship working out shirtless in the weight room."

"And I'm glad that a man as handsome as you would call me gorgeous after sailing the world for years," Kurt responded a little breathlessly, hoping to leaven the hot tension that was building as Blaine still held on to his hand and stared into his eyes. "I'm sure you've seen some truly beautiful sights."

"Nothing that tops this one," Blaine said, and before Kurt could say anything else, his brain short-circuited as Blaine leaned in and kissed him. He sucked in a shocked breath before kissing back intensely, feeling himself melt into Blaine's arms. They kissed for what felt like days before Blaine pulled back and let them both catch their breaths. Kurt stared at Blaine, wide-eyed and wordless, until Blaine broke the silence. "Please forgive me if that was too forward. I've wanted to do that ever since you came aboard this shi- mmph!" Kurt sealed their mouths together again.

"I've had a crush on you since the first day, too," Kurt confessed once they broke apart. "I promise, that wasn't too forward at all."

"Then I suppose it'll be alright if the place you're assigned to clean for the next week is my office?" Blaine teased. His voice got more slightly more serious as he continued, "I really would like to keep an eye on you after Azimio did that number on your face – which I may never be able to forgive him for."

"Well, if I have to," Kurt said, grinning cheekily at Blaine. "I suppose it would be worth being stuck here with you to tell Azimio that we really did turn this place into our sodomy palace and watch him try not to vomit over the side of the ship."

"You say that like I'm letting you get that close to him again. I'm keeping you two separated until he's off this ship for good, if only for my own sanity. What if I miss you tearing him a new asshole? I'd be eternally disappointed," Blaine pouted, prompting Kurt to let out a laugh.

"You just want me to be your cabin boy for the rest of my enlistment, Admiral Anderson. I can see right through you," Kurt joked, jabbing a finger at Blaine's chest.

"So what if I do?" Blaine shot back. "The hottest guy to ever enlist in the U.S. Navy just made out with me in my office after successfully taking on a homophobic douchebag. I'll do whatever it takes to hold on to him."

"You could start by escorting me to dinner tonight," Kurt suggested playfully. "I worked up an appetite after all this fuss, and they do say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

"I would be delighted. The finest mess hall food in the world awaits, Seaman Hummel!" Blaine said with a gallant, overdramatic bow. Kurt linked his arm with Blaine's outstretched one and they set off, both secretly hoping they'd get to see a dumbstruck look on Azimio's face as they entered the galley.