So, someone wanted to see Shepards thoughts so here are those. I'll be continuing with Garrus in the next few days and adding that chapter to this as well.

In the beginning of this chapter, I imagine that Tali isn't back on the Normandy yet, so right now Garrus is the only one from the first one that's still there. (Besides Joker)

I didn't love him when we started this. He was the only friend I really had left. Everyone else was busy with their lives. He was the only one to come rushing back to help me.

I didn't love him but I did need him. I needed to have something that was stable. Something I could count on being there and I knew he could be that.

He was my best friend and I knew that he would be ok with just one night of peace, for both of us.

I had been wondering how I was going to ask him to do this when this situation just kind of presented itself to me. I couldn't miss an opportunity like this. It was almost perfect.

"What if we skipped right to the tie breaker. We could test your reach, and my flexibility." And that's how it started. I was a little afraid that he would say no though. I had never propositioned anyone I actually cared about before. Sex was never intimate for me, just something to get my mind off of everything else.

He seemed a little nervous after I asked, shuffling a little on his feet and mumbling something about me liking scars. He quickly regained his composer though, replying easily with "Well, why the hell not? There's nobody in this galaxy I respect more than you."

So that was a good thing. He accepted that I had at least some interest in him and I accepted that he probably was only doing this because we were friends. But it would help. It would be nice to have something to look forward to.

I always go and do my rounds, talking to all of my crew to make sure they were doing ok and they didn't need anything. I also check to see if they have any suggestions for making the ship better.

I was nearing Jacobs post to check on how he was doing after finding his father. It seemed to have hit him hard and I needed to make sure he had his head in the mission still.

"How are you doing Jacob? I know that couldn't have been easy for you." I said, trying to sound a little concerned.

"I'm doing alright, I guess. I already mourned the man that he was. This man can rot in jail for all I care." He says this but he still seemed a little angry.

"That seems a little cold Jacob. Do you really mean that?" He seemed like a different person than that. A better person.

"He left my family, Shepard. We thought he was dead. Now I wish he had been. He had taught me to be a good man and then I find him enslaving people. He is not the father I knew. And don't worry, this won't effect my performance on our mission." He seemed very set on that so how could I argue.

"If you say so. I just wanted to make sure you were ok." I said as I started to head to the elevator.

"Shepard." He called and I turned to look at him. "Thank you. If you ever need anything, I'm here for you." He didn't meet my eye after saying that.

I faked a small smile and then walked away. He wasn't the one I needed anything from. With that, I went to see Garrus.

I approached the gun room (AN: currently don't remember what it's called) slowly, quietly. I always want to sneak up on him. It never works but I can still try. I stop outside and listen in for a moment. He seems to be pasing and that's a bit confusing. He never pases.

I get worried for a moment before logic comes back to me and I calm down. It's probably nothing.

I open the door and he seems to jump a little and look at me. 'I finally caught him off guard.' I silently celebrate while another part of my mind worries more.

"Can we talk?" I hear my mouth say. I must be very worried about him. Maybe he wants to leave now because he feels like he can't say no to me.

He calms down and steadies himself. "Are we crazy to even be thinking about this? You could find something a little closer to home." And I can't tell if he's trying to get rid of me or protect me.

I think back to Jacob offering to be there for me and I don't like that idea. "I don't want something closer to home. I want you. I want someone I can trust." And I do trust him. More than I've ever trusted another being before.

"I can do that. I'll find some music and do some research to figure out how this will work."

Something hits me then. Maybe he thinks that he really can't say no because I'm his commander. "You know Garrus, if you're not comfortable with this, it's ok. I'm not trying to pressure you." I didn't want him to feel like I'm making him do this. He did have a choice.

"Shepard, you're about the only friend I have left in this screwed up galaxy. I'm not going to pretend I have a fetish for humans... but this isn't about that. It's about us. You don't ever have to worry about making me uncomfortable. Nervous, yes, but never uncomfortable." He said it with such conviction, like he really wanted to be with me.

I left the room feeling lighter, like some of the weight that I had on my shoulders had been lifted. My heart was fluttering a little too, which it had never done before. I think I might be getting too invested in this.

On the eve of the Omega jump, I think I was more attached to him than I wanted to admit. He had always been there for me. He was the only one that trusted me immediately, not really questioning why I was with Cerberus. He never got mad at me and always listened to what I had to say.

I really cared about him and that hit me like a ton of bricks, knocking the wind out of me. I had to sit down in the shower to calm myself. I couldn't loose him but I was about to send him on a mission that would most likely kill him.

Maybe I could leave him on the ship. I couldn't see that going well though. I just didn't know what I would do if he died. There would be nothing left for me.

At that point EDI came over the com, telling me that Garrus was on his way up to my cabin.

I quickly got out of the shower and was dressed when he got to the door.

I don't think I had ever seen him out of his armor. His body didn't look bad, just different. Plus, he looked adorable standing nervously in the doorway.

He became cuter when he started rambling about fringes and hair and tried to find some good music. His taste was a little lacking but I could fix that, show him what's good to listen to.

I'm still not sure if he was referring to wanting us to work out but my heart fluttered anyway. I couldn't imagine him having real feeling for me but I couldn't help what I felt for him. No matter what, everything would be alright though.

We relaxed after that. Got a little drunk. Joked and laughed. And then I felt my mouth talk again.

"I want to be with you Garrus, forever." Damn mouth, shut up. "I don't just want this to be a one time thing," It continued, "before what may be our last mission. I want to be able to take the Collectors head on and know I have something to come back to. A reason to survive."

I could see that this surprised him and truthfully, it surprised me too. I could feel my past coming back to me, expecting him to get up and leave me then and there but he didn't.

He just held me closer and said, "I'll always be here for you Shepard. I'm not going anywhere so don't worry. Tomorrow will work out great. We'll get the crew back and stop the Collectors and then we'll come back here. Together."

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. My heart was doing leaps in my chest and I felt like we could take on the world, together.

Everything would be ok.

When I woke up the next morning, he wasn't there. I didn't handle that well. I thought maybe he thought about it and decided he didn't really want me. I thought he was going to leave me. When I called out his name, I couldn't quite keep the panic out of my voice.

"Shepard, are you ok?" I then saw him stand from my desk and quickly come to my side.

I could feel the tears in my eyes and I felt stupid for over reacting. "I thought you left. I thought you didn't have a good time and were done with me." It wouldn't have surprised me. I'd been used before.

He took me in his arms and started to run his talons through my hair. I didn't know how he knew that would help but didn't much care. "I told you last night that I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave you."

That's all I needed. I stayed in his arms, relishing the feel of someone caring for me. Joker soon came over the comm telling us that it was almost time to make the jump.

I pulled away from him and was once again Commander Shepard. "Let's go get them." I felt that damn smile come back to my face.

Though, I did feel better about the mission, knowing I had something to come home to. Knowing he would always be here when I came back. We would make it through this and then we could be together.

So there's that. As I said, I'll be writing more from Garrus' point of view later for what happened after 2 and partly during 3.

Hope you enjoy. At some point I'm probably going to have to write out the past I have for this Shepard, just to explain why she's so fragile seeming, just not yet.