Disclaimer: I do not now, nor likely ever will, own Community. A man can dream though. A man can dream.

Author's Note: Takes place during the Pilot.

"Abed... What's your read on that guy?" asked Britta. Jeff was saying the right things and was more good looking than she really wanted to admit, but she couldn't shake the feeling that he was going to turn out to be a total douche.

"You look like Elizabeth Shue," said Abed, blank faced as usual.

Britta gave him a sideways look before deciding to let that one go. She looked around at the empty room and sighed. "It's weird that nobody else could make it. I mean, he did invite other people, right?" Abed didn't respond. He just tilted his head and looked at the five empty seats around the table. Britta sighed again. Abed seemed like a great kid, but she could only handle one unreadable guy at a time.

"I'm going to have a cigarette," she said, resigned, and got up to go, wondering if this was all a mistake.

Abed left immediately after. Britta was right. There weren't enough people there. Power trios have been done before, but this isn't going to work. Two guys and a girl tends to work off of sexual tension and choice between the Betty and Veronica, but there's only one realistic pair and sooner or later he's going to become a third wheel. Jeff's actions implied he was already thinking that way. Sooner or later the trio would become a duo and Abed would be out.

And he didn't want to be out. Again.

So he needed an ensemble. There were eight seats at the table, and the four sets of two did have a certain aesthetic appeal to it, but odd numbers were typically more stable past two. Seven or five then. If there were seven, then they could have guest stars! Guest students. That would bring them up to eight if only temporarily. So: seven.

Each person would need to be picked based on outside appeal, internal chemistry, and the need of a study group. And they all needed to be someplace he could find them in the next ten minutes. No problem.

Shirley was the first on his list. She was black, in the 35-45 age range, a mother, and a Christian. Nice, broad demographic appeal and since she was under fifty she'd be the sassy no-nonsense character he much preferred over the cosmic mentor character. Cosmic mentors were fine for wrapping up episodes, but he wanted someone who could get a lot of screen time and fill it well.

"Oh, that's niicee," she cooed when he invited her. Her tone got much sharper for the "careful, boy," that followed his explanation of why. This was going to work out great.

Pierce Hawthorn (Of Hawthorne Wipes) was next. He was going to be the elder mentor of the group. After talking with him for a minute, however, Abed decided he was wrong about that. Pierce was immature and out of touch and generally aggravating. Still, he was cast and Abed didn't have time to waste. He'd just have to find someone capable of dulling the sharper edges of his personality.

Which brought him to Troy Barnes. Troy was young, which the group demographic was really missing at this point. He was athletic, judging from the letterman jacket he wore constantly, and had a constant crowd around him. Still, the jacket said he was insecure, which is good for character growth and the interchangeable looks of boredom and confusion that were plastered on his face in class said he probably wouldn't say no to an invitation. The mutual immaturity of Troy and Pierce should result in quick bonding and good storylines. He's a rich old racist. He's a young football star. They fight crime. Abed could barely wait.

Troy seemed more interested in getting someone to do his homework for him than studying, but he was going to show up and that's the important part. Another girl from the Spanish class was hanging out nearby and came bouncing up to Abed nervously. Brunette, large eyes, green cardigan, dress, young, very big eyes in fact. Annie Edison. She spent her time in class taking notes and asking questions and her time out of class staring lovelorn at Troy.

"Hi, I'm Annie, I heard you talking with Troy and... You said something about a study group?" she asked nervously.

Abed studied her for a moment. "...Yes," he replied, and walked away.

Abed needed a seventh, but it wasn't going to be Annie. She was too good a student to need a group and obviously was only asking to get close to Troy. It was an infatuation that wouldn't go anywhere and would collapse, removing her reasons to stay in the group. In the meantime it'd make tension with the primary couple of Jeff and Britta and the platonic couple of Troy and Pierce. She'd probably wind up with the equally studious young man who sat next to her at the front of the class. They'd all be happier that way.

Besides, there were other possibilities. Most of the students weren't around at this time, but there were still a few better options. A Hispanic student would be a welcome addition to their demographic, but unfortunately, there weren't any in the class. Alex, who Mr. Chang had started calling "Starburns" was a possibility. He was eccentric and could be a good comedic relief character, even if he took himself too seriously. Still, it was a risk to add him. Steve Urkel was only supposed to be a weird side character and look how that turned out. Turned into a popular show, but the ensemble suffered and Abed didn't want to wind up replacing Shirley with Judyann Elder.

Buddy was the next person on Abed's list, but Abed couldn't see him on the quad any more. He has a tendency to just blend into the background sometimes and Abed didn't have time to look for him. The blonde guy with the broken nose also couldn't be found, but Abed suspected if he were in the study group he'd take over as leading man. Way too much charisma.

The only other option was an Asian girl in class, the only one whose name he didn't know. Hiromi? Maybe. She was a good choice. She was young, sexy, Asian, cheerful, and eccentrically dressed. She seemed smart enough while also seemed to be having a hard time in the class. She was a goldmine for ratings and (probably) storylines. Only one problem:

"Sorry," she said with a pout and a voice full of almost sincere sympathy, "I'm already in a group. We're meeting soon to study for tomorrow." She looked up and waved at someone else, "and there they are! Bye... um. Guy. Good luck on the test tomorrow!"

Abed looked on in stone faced disappointment as she went to join Alex and the blonde guy with the broken nose. Contracts. He hates contracts. There isn't any more time to get someone else, he'll just have to live with a six man team. Too bad. Maybe someone else could join starting with next week's episode.

When he gets back to the room Abed sees the problem solved itself. Annie Edison has apparently invited herself and is glaring at everyone save Troy. New problem then. As soon as Jeff walks in it starts; "What kind of board certifies a tutor?"

There's no way they're making it through the season.