Gone for Good

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MysticClan Challenge

x.X.x.X.x

•PikaBolt101•

It was somber and grey. My paws dragged on that same path that I had walked so many times. So many times, when I wasn't allowed.

I was just an adventurous kit in the forest. It's all I ever was.

I could feel the wind kissing my cheeks and the leaves brushing my fur and the breeze lifting my paws, oh, so high, making me feel as if I could sing to the dark clouds in the silvery sky. But the weather didn't bother me. I didn't care no one listened to me back at camp. I didn't care I was the outcast and loner and everyone passed me like I was a shadow or a terrifying sight. I didn't mind the growls that came out of my throat when others neared me. All I cared was that I was here.

I was here.

I felt alive and free.

And I loved that.

My paws trudged on that abandoned pebbly path. I was padding near the edge of a Thunderpath. I could only wrinkle my nose in disgust at the filthy, foreign scent of that Twoleg road and stay as far away as I could. But my destination followed this road.

Rain pelted down from the darkening heavens and I could feel night closing in, but I didn't care. I needed to get there today.

My paw pads felt sore. My body felt tired. I could hear my bones creaking with every step. I knew the silvery dapples on my aging muzzle would only spread. Age wasn't something I could escape from. Death wasn't either.

I knew that better than anyone.

That grey day I was bounding through the trees, my kitten fluff still on. I didn't care when the branches ripped my pelt, I just kept going.

I heard there was someplace beautiful.

But when I tripped over that log and fell into the river below, I still remember, I couldn't see where I was. All I was surrounded by was blackness. Pitch dark blackness.

After what seemed like lifetimes and heartbeats at the same time, I opened my eyes groggily. All I remember was that my head hurt, my body ached, some wounds on my flesh stung, and my fur was still slightly damp. Perhaps from crashing into the water and rocks, but how would I know?

Then I saw her.

The first moment I opened my eyes, two round, widened emerald ones stared back, colliding with my own amber ones. I didn't know what I had felt that moment. A mix of fear and confusion and anger, mostly. I had immediately backed away.

The Thunderpath seemed to last on forever.

When I walked, the dark, thick, inky Twoleg road just seemed to wind and twist in front of me and chase behind me. It felt disgusting. It felt lonely. It felt cold.

The leaves were falling off, preparing for the chilly season of leaf-bare. Only some last, crippled, dull pieces still hung off the thin, gnarly branches. They hung on for dear life, it seemed. It looked like they were competing with the hail and wind and rain and they just didn't want to let go.

Didn't want to give in.

It was darkening by the second, and this was a place that no cat ever walked. Because they didn't want to. Because they didn't need to. Because they didn't dare to.

All I could stare at was the faint light ahead as the rain drenched my scraggly grey pelt. I pretended that light was you. I chased after it.

And maybe, just maybe, it was.

"Who are you?"

The growl came to me immediately. With her nose almost touching mine and too close for comfort, I shoved her harshly off of me and backed away, hissing. No, I would never be so close to another cat again. I was alone, and I'd always be alone.

Right?

"I-I'm Firekit," the other she-kit had said.

Firekit…

Before I could say anything, she was blurting questions. How I fell into that river, who I was, why I was alone. We were both kittens, after all.

I immediately shot back, "Who are you?"

I never would've thought she was alone as well.

So that was when we became friends.

It was close. I knew it.

Finally, I arrived at that place. Hidden in tall grass and dying flowers and leaves that most cats wouldn't even bother to cut through. I swiped with my jagged claws to clear the growth of plants. And I found it.

It was how I remembered it from four seasons ago, only with more moss. But the clump of stones that signified where she was was still the same.

Slowly, I lowered my jaws and released the few flowers I was grasping in my teeth gently. The petals were still good. I was relieved.

Then I sat down and started talking.

"Life has been the same," I sighed and began, the same words pouring out of my mouth each time. "Alone. Apart. It was the same thing I was used to seasons and seasons ago." I smiled. "How about you? Are you doing well?"

Only the distant whisper of the leaves answered me.

I nodded solemnly. "I see. I hope you are. I hope you're watching down on me. I hope you are happy." I could feel a few tears rolling down my cheeks now, but maybe it was only the rain.

I collapsed in front of the aged stones, my claws gripping the dead earth.

"Why? I thought you promised!" I couldn't help it. I could only cry out into the heavens and hidden stars and hope I was heard. "You promised I wouldn't be alone! You promised we would be friends forever!" I sobbed, feeling the last of life slipping away. "W-where are you… Where are you now…?"

It was only a harmless adventure. I had escaped camp from the umpteenth time that moon. But this time, I had a destination.

She was waiting by the border like always. And together, we'd run off into the meadows and bathe under the sunlight and count the stars while the moonshine sent silver sparkles in our eyes and we'd lay in the grass which was so, so soft and tell each other all the stories we knew and we wouldn't share any of each other's secrets because all we had was one another at that moment and somehow we just felt so, so happy even though we were alone but we were alone together, I knew, and there were funny moments and awkward moments and moments where we just wanted to cry into each other's fur but I brushed against her soft pelt and our tails entwined and it wasn't perfect, it wasn't everything, but her eyes seemed to tell me:

"You don't have to be perfect for me."

And I would smile back but we were so young and foolish, though at that time, who knew, and who would care, about the future?

So I just asked her to promise, and she did. We would be best friends forever, maybe even something more, but who would know at that time?

How… How that happened was indescribable.

Why didn't she see that monster that came for her?

The same words were spoken, uncontrollable teardrops were shed. It was the same every time.

Every time without an answer.

And somehow, this time, I felt mad. Was she actually watching me? Or had she already run off and forgotten me long ago? Was this all pointless?

I didn't know.

I cried and yowled into the empty, vast sky but there was just no answer. I waited for a reply, waited and waited and longed and missed her but there was no answer. I waited for so long but nothing. There was always nothing.

I could feel my pelt matted with mud and my claws getting weaker with the grip on the earth, on your grave, as if I won't have any power left and I'd just slide away with the rain. Maybe that was best, even.

I could only pray but there was nothing left to pray for. The wind was empty. The rain had stopped. The sky had cleared. But there was no sun.

It was all for nothing and that promise was probably shattered ages ago.

Those memories were already gone for good.