If I Don't Say This Now (I Will Surely Break)

Caroline stood at the window, her eyes scanning the dark yard for any sign of trouble. There was only a sliver of moonlight peeking out from behind the clouds, and even with her vampire sight, it was hard to see anything. But she was pretty sure she'd be able to spot a group of Travelers coming after them. They'd been there for almost twelve hours and aside from whatever that noise had been on the porch earlier, everything had been quiet.

Okay so that wasn't entirely true, she corrected herself. Stefan and Elena had been acting weird and Damon had been suspicious that they were hiding something and then he and Elena had started arguing. The crash outside had put an end to that. They hadn't found anything and everyone had decided to call it a night after that, but she was too restless to sleep. How could she when everything that mattered to her was in danger?

She finally turned away from the window, her gaze drifting to the bed in the center of the room where Stefan was sleeping. Caroline had no idea how he could possibly sleep at a time like this. The Travelers had already almost killed him twice now and she was not about to let the third time be the charm. It was bad enough they were taking over Mystic Falls one person at a time, but now they wanted to drain Stefan and Elena of their blood again and they were practically sitting ducks in this cabin and –

"Caroline."

She jumped at the sound of Stefan's voice, her hand immediately going to her now racing heart. If she hadn't already been dead, that certainly would have taken years off the end of her life. "I thought you were asleep."

"It's hard to sleep when you're thinking so loudly," Stefan replied. He didn't open his eyes, but he patted the empty spot on the bed beside him, "Come here."

Caroline did as he asked and stretched out beside him, but she had no intention of sleeping, especially now that she knew he was awake. "I haven't seen anyone outside. We need a plan, Stefan – a better plan than just sitting here and waiting for the Travelers to knock on the door."

"They don't really seem like the knocking type," Stefan replied. "They'd probably just stand outside chanting until our heads explode."

"Seriously?" Caroline elbowed him in the side. "You can't joke at a time like this. They're trying to kill you and we're not doing anything about it." Her words came out angrier than she'd meant for them to, but this was a matter of life and death and he shouldn't have been joking.

That finally got Stefan to open his eyes. He shifted onto his side, propping his head up on his hand as he met her gaze. "I know you don't want to hear this, but we can't do anything else right now. Bonnie and Jeremy are with Liv and Luke looking for answers and we're here, staying out of sight."

"What if that's not enough?" Caroline demanded. The fact that Stefan could be so calm when his life was the one at stake was not helping her anxiety in the slightest. "We should have kept running. Or maybe split up so both doppelgangers aren't in one place." She sat up, wondering why they hadn't thought of that before. "Come on," she urged, reaching for his hand. "We'll tell Elena and Damon we're leaving and head for Mexico. Or Canada." Caroline frowned. "Which one seems less Traveler friendly?"

"Caroline." Stefan tugged on her hand, pulling her back down onto the bed. "Four vampires stand a better chance against the Travelers than two. We're going to get through this."

It was hard to disagree with sound logic, but it still didn't make her feel better. Caroline shifted, trying to get comfortable as she stared up at the ceiling. Her hand was still in Stefan's and Caroline used that as a reminder that he was still there, that the Travelers hadn't taken him from her yet. But that certainly wasn't because of anything she'd done to help. "What if I fail you again?" she whispered.

Stefan frowned. "What do you mean?"

She kept her eyes on the ceiling, wanting to hide her shame from him. "Enzo killed Tom because I wasn't fast enough to stop him and now the Travelers have everything they need except for you and Elena. What if…" Caroline swallowed hard, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. But just thinking it was enough to make her feel like her chest was going to cave in from the fear weighing on it. "What if I fail and you die because of me?"

A heavy silence hung in the room between them and Caroline felt her emotions bubbling to the surface now that she'd confessed her biggest fear out loud. If something happened to Stefan because of her failures, she'd never be able to live with herself. Not that she thought she'd be able to live without him. He was her best friend, the one person who she could count on no matter what and she couldn't lose him, not now, not ever. But what if she wasn't enough to keep him safe? What if after everything he'd done for her, she let him down when he needed her most?

"Well that would suck."

His response broke through her thoughts and Caroline just kept staring at the ceiling, taking a full minute to decide if she should laugh or cry. She gave into the urge to do both, a laugh bubbling from her throat because the comment was just so Stefan and it felt good to laugh, but then the tears she'd been holding back started to fall. "That's not funny!" Her laughter disappeared and she started to cry harder. She couldn't lose him.

"I know," Stefan replied, his voice finally serious, as he let go of her hand and easily shifted their positions, pulling her body tight against his as he hugged her to his chest and just let her cry for a few minutes. His hand gently stroked the back of her head and when her sobs quieted down, he spoke.

"Caroline, whatever happens next is not your fault. Enzo made the choice to kill Tom and if he hadn't, the Travelers would have found another way. And we're not giving up. We're just waiting until we find the right way out of this. And we will find one. We always do."

Once again, his words made sense and she knew he was right. They always found a way to beat the bad guys. But this time felt different and she didn't know why and that scared her just as much as the threat to Stefan's life. She lifted her head from his chest and felt terrible when she saw the concern in his eyes.

He was the one in mortal danger and he was worried about her because she was crying all over him instead of trying to take his mind off things or actually letting him sleep like he'd wanted to until she'd started thinking too loud. She was the absolute worst best friend in the entire world.

"I'm sorry. You're right." Caroline forced a smile onto her face, still not sure where all of this fear was coming from or why she couldn't get a grip. Wasn't she supposed to be the positive one? "You're going to be fine and we'll laugh at this someday. Maybe in fifty years." That seemed like a nice long, far away time. Maybe she'd be able to breathe by then.

Stefan studied her face and Caroline knew that he could see right through her fake smile. But he didn't comment on it. "I know it's going to be okay and we'll get through this. Do you want to know how I know?" He arched an eyebrow as he brushed the tears from her cheeks.

She gave him a genuine smile this time, enjoying the feel of his thumb gently pressing against her cheek. Stefan was there with her and she had to focus on that. "How do you know?"

"Because I've got you to protect me," Stefan replied. He returned her smile, clearly pleased to see that he was getting through to her. "You're the most determined person I know so those Travelers don't stand a chance."

His words warmed her heart in a way that she didn't even know how to acknowledge. But for the first time since she'd learned of the latest danger, Caroline let herself relax. She knew it wouldn't last because the doubts would start creeping into her mind if she let her guard down for long, but she'd deal with that later. "That's right," she confirmed. "I'll kill them and anyone else who tries to hurt you."

"So then it's settled," Stefan replied. He shifted back to lie down once more, keeping his arms around her. "Goodnight, Caroline."

"Goodnight, Stefan." Caroline watched him close his eyes and then she settled against him, pressing her ear to his heartbeat and finally letting her eyes drift closed. She still didn't think she'd be able to sleep, but for now, Stefan was safe and he was right there with her and that had to be enough.