"Ba, ba, ba, baaa," Jo could make out her daughter's babbling, retrieving her mom from deep sleep. She grumbled on the inside for having been woken from a very, very pleasant dream she was having. She smiled nonetheless. Nothing could make her happier than Alex, Madison and Ethan.
"Yes, baby, that's your mommy," she heard Alex's soothing words. Ugh, he was being all cute again and getting them up before she had even opened her eyes. "She's having a little nap, let's give her some rest, alright?" Jo could feel how deep sleep still engulfed her entire body and grudgingly tried to wake herself up, wriggling on the spot and forcing out a wide yawn, her eyes still closed.
"Do you really think it's a good idea for the babies to see her like that?" Jo heard the voice, it was a whisper though and she couldn't make out who it was. Whoever it was though didn't belong in her bedroom that was for sure. She scrunched up her still sleepy face, arching her spine and finding herself lying on her stomach, cozily cuddled up against her pillow. She blinked a couple of times, her eyelids not cooperating very willingly, turning herself around and rubbing her eyes. When she stretched out her arms, she hit emptiness. Jo's eyelids opened up all the way and she looked around the room. What the hell? She had been so sure that she had heard someone talking. She yawned again, her body still in a daze. Ugh, sometimes it was so weird how dreams could be so real. She groaned lightly before grabbing her phone from the nightstand and looking at the display. 7.19 am on December 18th. She dropped the phone back down and rolled over to lie in a fetal position and sleep some more. Before jolting up to a sitting position. What? It was 7.19 am on a Wednesday morning? Fuck, fuck, fuck. Jo looked around frantically even though she already knew she was all alone in the bedroom. Where was Alex? And why had she overslept? She crawled over to her bedside and got up, wincing immediately, laughing and groaning simultaneously. Well, unsurprisingly sore after a night like that. She thought to herself blushing the tiniest bit when thinking back to what kinds of gymnastics Alex and she had done the night before.
Jo took long strides towards the door, yanking it open and jogging over towards the nursery, finding the door wide open and the cribs empty. Where was everybody? Was she still dreaming? Was this one of those cruel dreams in which one moment she had everything and the next everything and everyone had gone and she was to survive all by herself? Was she back to having nightmares again? Oh God, had last night been a dream as well? Alright, don't freak, just find out. She walked downstairs swiftly and entered the kitchen where she could make out the smell of coffee coming from. It was empty. She headed over towards the coffee maker where she could see two to-go cups and a sheet of paper lying around messily. Oh thank God. Oh my freaking goodness. Jo actually felt like her guts dropped a bit with relief when seeing Alex's untidy scribbling. She sighed deeply.
Took the kids in early, gotta prep for surgery. I woke you but I'm not sure you realized you were talking to me. I told Hunt you'll be late. You've deserved your beauty sleep. I made extra coffee. You'll need it, trust me. See you at the hospital – A
Jo rolled her eyes at the message before chuckling. She poured herself some coffee and took a sip. What a weird morning. The steaming hot black liquid swathed her throat soothingly and she closed her eyes, immediately feeling Alex's lips on her neck, his fingers running down her spine. She shivered before opening them up again and biting her lips. That much for starting the day focused. She decided to go have a quick shower to wake herself up, although she really didn't need one after spending perceived three hours in the shower last night… scrubbing really clean with the help of Alex's eager hands, but she needed some refreshing dearly. Jo bit her lip to stop herself from smirking. She felt like a 15 year old. Really. There wasn't even anyone in the house seeing her smirk. So, what the hell. Smirk away. She shook her head at her own thoughts, getting ready for the day. She was still hooked with the date she had read off of her display. December 18th. What is it with that date?
Jo got out of the shower, put on some clothing and gathered her things before walking downstairs. When she looked at the coat she had hung on the wardrobe, she rolled her eyes again and got out her heavy down coat from the laundry room. She fetched the car keys from the dresser, scrunching her face up when looking at them. Wow, she really was having a very odd day. Maybe she should have gone to sleep a tad sooner. Jo walked back to the dresser and opened up the secret drawer on the side. Or maybe not. She smiled to herself while pondering about the reasons of them not getting enough sleep. She got out her car keys with the little red and blue Scoubidou key braid Sofia had given to her as a gift once, looking down at a little piece of paper that was entangled with the keys. She looked at the crabbed handwriting on the prescription. She couldn't make out the date but she was pretty sure that that prescription had surely been issued earlier than at the babies' last check-up. Ohhh, that's it. It's the twins' ten-month-check-up today, isn't it? Crap! Jo got out her phone and scrolled through her appointments. Ugh, tomorrow, thank God. Finally she had everything together and closed the front door behind her, wading down through the snow towards the car, kicking on the engine and pulling out of their driveway, while rubbing her hands together and seeing the icy breath before her eyes.
Jo stopped at a red light to turn on Queen Anne Avenue, listening to the stupid radio program and letting her gaze fly across the intersection. Ugh, she hated ruby colored pick-up trucks. They really creeped her out. Still observing the car to her right, she could make out a reasonably bulky encyclopedia lying in the passenger's seat. She strained her eyes to read the title of it and laughed out loud when realizing what she was looking at. She hadn't recognized it since her version of it had been a newer one and it looked a bit different. Gray's anatomy, really, Alex? She startled when the car behind her honked at her for missing the green light and hit the gas pedal hastily, almost sliding a bit on the still slushy road. Damn you, Alex. Put appropriate tires on your freaking sports' car. When Jo had pulled into a free spot at the lot in front of the hospital, she killed the engine and immediately turned back over towards the medical text book. Why had he dug out the one textbook they had all used back in med school? What in the world had he wanted or needed for that matter to look up? She skimmed through the pages before noticing a folded page. She opened it up and stared down at a chapter called The neurology of humans. Jo sighed before smiling sadly. Oh baby. She put the book back as it had been lying before, knowing Alex would have hated for her to have looked at it and walked inside, instantly rushing over towards daycare.
When she entered, Jo was immediately greeted by two very loud squealers having spotted her through the visitor's window already. Her face lit up immediately.
"Hey my loves," she bent down to pick up Ethan and taking over Madison from the caregiver. She kissed them senseless before resting her head on Maddie's while Ethan was resting his on her chest. "Why didn't you guys wake me, huh? Did daddy think he could snatch some alone time with you? Well, I missed you when I woke up," she babbled to them in a happy, loving voice. She gave them both another tight hug before setting them down on the carpet and waving them good-bye before walking over to the director to talk to her.
"Dr. Wilson," the slightly older woman greeted her in her usual friendly demeanor.
"Hi, Ms. Carolyn," Jo started a little bit embarrassed about her concern. She held out the ragged looking prescription in front of the lady's face and cleared her throat. "So, I kinda… forgot to fill in this prescription for the twins and it's been forever I guess, it's okay though, they're just some calcium drops to enhance their bone and joint growth. Anyways, I totally forgot about those and I was gonna have our nanny fill it. Could you maybe hand that over to her? I just don't wanna put it in the diaper bag and risk for it to get drenched in… formula…or messy diapers or something," she said, looking up at the other woman curiously.
"Um, as far as I know… your husband has brought in a prescription for those himself a couple of months ago… as far as I can remember, wait, let me look that up real quick," she said, letting her finger run over a shelf of ring binders, stopping at Karev. She busied herself opening it up and flipping through the files and documents. "Yeah, here it is. It says Dr. Karev has prescribed 10 drops of Calze-bone-Z-s for each of them a day," she looked up at Jo's surprised face. "That's the same thing, right?" Jo nodded.
"Yeah, it is, actually. Well, he must have remembered when I didn't," she said, concluding the matter, moving over towards their little kids' locker and putting the spare car keys in the diaper bag.
"Now that I think of it, I remember him grumbling something about 'those pediatricians nowadays' and I was laughing to myself that he was talking about his own profession," Carolyn chuckled. Jo smiled at her politely before bidding her good-bye, boarding an elevator up. As said, weird day. She typed away on her phone, letting Lauren know about the spare keys before the elevator dinged and she walked outside, rounding the nurses' station and bumping into Hunt.
"Oh, good, you're here," he told her, already busy with charts it seemed. "We have multiple traumas coming in," he informed her, Jo bustling by him.
"Alright, I'll get ready, be right out," she replied, already past him.
"No, Wilson, I need you to cover my OR board. I'm sorry but I've had three surgeries scheduled for today that can't wait. I can't send you to the E.R. all by yourself. Today's a big day. Most attendings will be switching off in OR 1 with little Braden," the chief rambled on. Jo had stopped, scrunching up her face. December 18th. Right.
"Yeah, alright, I'll take care of it. Page me if you need anything," she said before turning and walking towards the locker room. Jo felt how anger was seeping through her. How could she have forgotten this day? Sometimes she really hated her husband. Except that she just couldn't. But even persuading herself that that was the case made her feel better immensely. She snatched open the door and yanked open her locker, getting all her stuff out.
"There you are," Jo heard a familiar voice wafting in from behind. She looked back in confusion and hiked her eyebrows.
"April, what are you doing here?" she chuckled, giving her mentor a once over, wearing a… very attractive hospital gown and some shorts, waddling towards her a little… sluggishly. "Why are you here?"
"Oh, my water broke a couple of hours ago," April waved her away and sighed. "I have been looking for you all morning. Since when are you coming in this late?" Jo rolled her eyes.
"Why in the world are you walking about when your water has broken already?" Jo asked the other woman sternly.
"Ugh, they sent me walking since baby hasn't dropped yet and I'm not dilated a bit. It's fine. They gave me the orders. Oh, and Jackson fell asleep. Fortunately! He was hovering so much I couldn't breathe. So I ditched him and came to look for you," she told her again, matter-of-factly.
"Are you on drugs, April?" Jo looked at her wide-eyed.
"No," she immediately squealed out.
"You act like it," Jo pointed out before pulling her scrub top on.
"Oh, nonsense. Has Hunt told you about Braden yet? I actually suggested for him to give you that surgery since you know… with everything that has happened," April looked at Jo weirdly.
"It is my surgery. It's really nice of Hunt to let me scrub in but it doesn't change the fact that I was always supposed to be the one cutting. I still can't believe Alex actually had the guts to take it from me. Ugh, I'm so pissed," she muttered more to herself than towards April, having sat down on the bench and working on her shoelaces, looking down on the screen of her phone, showing a new message from Lauren.
L – Oh, so you found them, good, Wed. 8.33 am
Why was everybody acting so completely weird today? She looked up at April who seemed to be breathing out a contraction. "You should go and lie down, April," she told her again but the said one only shook her head violently.
J – What do you mean found them, I never lost them, Wed 8.34 am
"Have you read up about what technique Alex was gonna use?" April enquired, looking at her steadily, trying to blank out her pains.
"I told him to use that technique in first place," Jo shot back, mad now.
"Oh," April looked back at her apologetically. Jo sighed.
"Sorry. I'm just so pissed. I can't believe he actually pulled it through. He just snatched the coolest surgery ever from my hands and I couldn't even look fast enough. I'm just so… ugh, I'd give anything to be the one cutting," she ranted on. "I just… I wish there was a solution to this. But well, at least I will be in there now, probably thanks to you, huh?" she pointed at April's big belly.
"Nah, as you said, it was always yours. We just didn't know if you would make it in time," April pointed out, Jo not realizing what she was saying, believing she was talking about her time management that day.
L – Sure you did. Well, at least Alex told me you did, Wed 8.40 am
J – Nonsense. He never asked me. I knew where they were all along, Wed 8.40 am
L – Okaaay whatever?… so, you remember more bits now? Wed 8.41 am
Jo looked down at her cell phone, looked down at the message that her nanny had just sent her. Then she started thinking. Today was weird, right? Alex had let her sleep in. Yeah, because he had his big day and he wanted to keep you away for as long as he could. Then that weird dream she had. She could still hear the voices as if they'd really been there. The red truck flashed before her eyes. The spinning tires. The human's neurology. Jo looked out the window, focusing her gaze on single snowflakes. The car keys. The prescription she'd never filled or talked about to Alex but him prescribing the same exact thing for them. Her winter coat that she hadn't used until now. What the hell was going on? Jo looked back down on her phone, looking at the family picture, everyone staring up at her happily. Fuck, it was her surgery today and she hadn't even prepared for it. Because Alex found it fairer to reap all glory for himself. She looked up at April who chuckled slightly.
"I can't even believe Alex. It's so funny how he hasn't even told you about your wedding but he chose to tell you about that surgery? I mean… I'm impressed, very... fair-minded really… but if I were him… you know, with all the fighting you did over that surgery… I wouldn't have told you after the accident," April snorted, looking at a shell-shocked Jo. The ruby colored pick-up truck. Bam. Jo's face drained. I'll be swinging by Ruth's on my way home. Jo got up in a fluid motion, shocked. She stood before April who didn't know what was going on. They stared at each other for a moment before Jo grinned back at her evilly, shaking her head.
"Oh, he's going to burn in hell for what he did to me," Jo said in a rasp. April's eyes widened.
"What are you talking about?" she asked, completely stunned. Jo ran over, swooped down to kiss April's cheek in complete elation and jogged away.
"Get that pregnant lady a wheelchair," April could hear Jo calling to someone in the hallway. She tried to waddle after her, not having caught on what was going on. Jo was running through the corridors, trying to catch a glimpse of her husband somewhere. She dearly hoped he hadn't gone into surgery yet. She was so gonna snatch it back from him. A wide smile unfurled on her face, a smile that she hadn't been able to show off for ages it seemed to her. All she wanted to do was scream and shout and jump up and down. She was exploding inside. When she stopped at the attendings' lounge and could make out her husband's voice coming from inside, she held on to the doorframe and tried to breathe to get her nerves steady. Once she pushed the door open, she ran into an animatedly chatting Callie and Derek.
"Oh, hey," they both greeted her smiling.
"Hey," she smiled back widely, making them chuckle.
"Somebody's having a good day, huh?" Derek inquired, making some of the doctors sitting in the lounge look up, amongst them Alex who smirked before looking back at the coffee machine he was working with at the moment, listening to Jackson who rambled something towards him.
"Excellent day," Jo gave back before snaking around them and entering, closing the door behind her to guard them from more prying ears than necessary. She looked over the people sitting on the couches – the usual suspects, nobody she minded having there. Meredith and Arizona, Bailey and a fairly new doctor she had met but couldn't remember the name. And Jackson, leaning against the cupboard, still talking frantically onto Alex. They all looked at her, smiling, observing how she hadn't come in and taken a spot or gotten any coffee or anything but just kept hovering near the door, looking at Alex's back. "Jackson, go find your wife. I put her in a wheelchair, she should be several feet behind me," Jo told him dismissively to make room for what she was about to say. Jackson looked at her in irritation, immediately rushing out. Alex who had followed their exchange glanced back at her swiftly.
"How are you doing?" he said smiling before turning back and seemingly getting rid of a leaking problem with the machine.
"I know exactly why you didn't wake me this morning," she shot back, the prying eyes of their colleagues still on them. She didn't care though. Alex snorted.
"Yeah, me too," he said, chuckling. "I mean, I really did but you wouldn't budge," he added.
"Yeah, yeah. You wanted to prevent me from taking action and getting my surgery back. Which is rightfully mine and you know it," Jo spat out sharply, and she could see how he was exhaling slowly, rolling his eyes.
"Who told you?"
"I remember just fine," she said, seeing the reactions of Bailey and Arizona from the corner of her eyes, both having jumped the tiniest bit while Meredith still watched her with eagle eyes.
"Oh, great, that's what you remember. Perfect timing," he pointed out exasperatedly. "Anyways," he turned around, leaning against the table and sipping at his coffee. "I heard you're scrubbing in with me, so, yay you," he told her fake cheeringly. Jo had to bite back a chuckle. He was super tired, she could see it in his face. And make it out from his thinking. Bailey was giving Alex an unbelieving stare and Arizona laughed, making him scrunch up his face and wave them away. "What are you all looking at?" he coughed out, making them all shake their heads, trying not to laugh and mockingly looking the other way.
"I wanna talk about our wedding night," Jo continued, steering straightly to where she wanted to be. Alex coughed on a sip of coffee he had just taken.
"What, now?" he looked at her, trying to decide if she was going crazy. All that story telling had maybe gotten out of hand. Meredith chuckled when Jo nodded.
"I wanna collect my wedding gift. Today," she said, waiting for him to catch on. They looked at each other for a while, no expressions on either of their faces, until Alex startled and his eyes got wide.
"No, no, no, no, no," he shook his head wildly. "Nope, not gonna happen. Not with this. I said you can scrub in but no, no, no, you are not taking this over. It's my surgery," he said frantically.
"It's mine and you know it," Jo came back. "I treated the kid. I found him. I researched his condition. I should be the one cutting. You can observe if you want to," she looked at him mockingly. Alex sighed.
"Jo, with everything that has happened, I really don't think that's a good idea," he pointed out. Now she was the one who sighed.
"Ugh, when are you gonna stop using that excuse. Oh, and you know… you didn't tell any conditions back in our wedding night when you gave me the right to snatch away one surgery from you, any surgery I ever wanted. No conditions, baby, no-thing. I'm sorry to tell you but you're losing out," she smirked at his wide eyes.
"Come on, Jo," Alex started pleading now. "This is irresponsible and you know it," he said. "I'm sorry I took it from you but you know that a pediatric surgeon needed to be there," he explained.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Same thing as back when you snatched that tumor away from me in my third year of residency because 'I wasn't a fully trained surgeon and no third year would ever do a surgery like that' and then the one time you made me step back from that awesomely malfunctioning pancreas because I was carrying your babies. It's always the same really… you just can't live with the fact that I have reeeally cool surgeries, too, and that now I am in the very same position that you are in this hospital… surgically that is… we're both general surgeons. Ha!" she pointed out for him, stressing every statement, trying not to burst out laughing - or crying for that matter that had nothing to do with what she was pretending to be upset about. She looked over at the ladies all having grins plastered onto their faces.
"That is not true and you know it and also, those other times… they were not the same," Alex shook his head in irritation. "You do that stuff to me all the time. You just use other techniques," he glared at her, making everyone, including Jo, laugh.
"Yeah, yeah, I remember," she said. "But you know… that's just payback for every one of your broken promises," she told him very slowly, teasingly. They looked at each other, Alex still not catching the drift. Jo rolled her eyes inwardly. On one hand she loved him even more for not even realizing what she was trying to tell him and bursting at it because he just… had accepted her for who she was now and didn't even seem to think about that option actively anymore… but on the other hand she just… it exasperated her to have to spell it out for him. She wanted him to explode with her!
"Well, you're here now, surgery's at 10. I said I'd come talk to the parents before, you can come if you want, I bet they'd love to see you," Alex offered, turning around towards the coffee maker again, refilling his mug.
"Oh, lovely, can't wait to see Susan and Greg again. Haven't seen them in such a long time. And Braden of course," Jo rambled on as ostentatious as she could. "Oh, speaking of pediatric patients, Carolyn at the daycare told me today that you prescribed the kids calcium? How did you know about that? I stowed the prescription away with my car keys and forgot about those the longest time. Oh, and speaking of which, it's not okay to tell Lauren that I had lost the keys when you never even asked me about their whereabouts….," Jo rambled away, using a voice and words she knew he had to realize at some point she never usually did. She startled mildly when the ceramic cup Alex had been refilling, smashed to the floor and she could see Alex's hands hold onto the table so firmly that his knuckles seemed to become white. Nobody seemed to have noticed the mess of coffee and shards spreading on the floor, all eyes fixated on Alex. Her head fell to her side an inch and her eyes started watering. She stared at his back, waiting for a reaction that she knew was gonna have to wait a bit. Alex was in shock. She didn't even know if he had fully grasped it yet. She bit her lip when Alex turned around very slowly, staring at her.
"What are you saying, Jo?" Alex turned his face a little to the side, looking at her with focus in his eyes.
"I'm saying, I remember just fine," Jo nodded at him with wide eyes, repeating the statement from before. They looked at each other, both lost in their thoughts, both unable to grasp what had been said.
"You're kidding, right?" Alex whispered after a while, making her shake her head. They paused again. "You just remember a lot of details, right? Like before? You don't remember in general, right?" he urged her to nod. But she didn't.
"No, Alex. I remember just fine," she repeated for him to believe her. "You can't hide any more surgeries from me or tell the nanny slightly untrue stories about me or… good thing for you, you don't have to tell me any more stories," she chuckled, insecure about Alex's reaction. "It's all there. I'm… they're back. I remember. They just… they came back when I opened up my eyes this morning. They just… everything was there. No big reveal, no poof or bang, no buzzing headaches, no nothing… they were just there…as if they had never gone at all," Jo rambled on, Alex still refraining from reacting. "I mean, I haven't really tried thinking about stuff… so I'm not sure if everything's there… but I think the gist of it is… weirdly, I keep seeing that ruby colored pick-up truck before my eyes and I do not know where that is coming from… but I've been thinking… did you see the car that had run me and the kids over? Was that by any chance a red pick-up truck? Cause I really can't figure it out unless that's the reason… The accident is kinda blurry… I really don't remember it all that well. But I guess that's okay, right," she rambled on out of insecurity and chuckled, still waiting for Alex to react. She was getting anxious now. She needed him to say something. She needed him to jump around and laugh. That's what she needed him to do. She needed him to kiss her. Cause even though she knew they had had their fair share of quality time together last night… she just really needed her husband Alex to kiss her. Because for the first time in way too long, that's who she saw in front of her. And her insides did somersaults when thinking about it. She bit her lips again. "Say something, Alex," she whispered. "Please," she begged him now. She inhaled deeply before the door behind her flew open and a very rushed looking Derek came in, grabbing her arm.
"Is it true? Meredith says…," he pointed over at his wife sitting on the couch, and looking down at his phone. Jo smiled at him brightly and nodded. "Oh, thank God," Derek's face drained, his eyes radiating nothing but gratitude and joy. Jo's insides squirmed with those emotions as well, bursting when Derek pulled her into a hug. "So, are you sure?" he asked her when he pulled back. Jo glanced back at Alex who was watching their exchange quietly before matching eyes with Derek again.
"Yes," she said, firmly. "I mean, the accident is kind of blurry, I can't really remember it… only weird bits… being terrified and trying to crank the car around… but no, nothing after that… however, everything else… every single second of the last six years, I remember clear as day. I don't know how it happened… I mean, that can't be true, right? That's so… incredible," she told him in a questioning tone. He smiled at her brightly.
"About the accident… that's normal. It doesn't have to do with the amnesia that you can't remember. You were in shock and tons of metal hit your head. Don't be surprised if you never get that memory back. Better that way, anyways, right?" he chuckled, making her nod. "But yeah, the brain is weird that way. Maybe you just needed those two months to regenerate, maybe it protected you from something. Maybe you needed to prepare yourself for something… and maybe today or yesterday… your brain realized that your body and mind are ready for all your memories to come back… it's not uncommon. Well, it's not common either. Nothing is with the brain," he beamed.
"God, if you had told me that sooner, everything would have gone so much smoother," Jo laughed.
"I did, didn't I?" Derek looked at her questioningly now.
"Yeah," she laughed. "But it sounds so much more plausible now," she concluded, risking another look back at Alex who still hadn't moved. Oh, come on, baby. Say something. I'm back. I'm back! I need you to realize that I'm here. I'm back!
"So, any chance you know what triggered the amnesia to ease up?" Derek now bounced back to his usual professional demeanor.
"Um… I've actually been remembering tiny details for a while now… like when people asked me something I would answer correctly even though I couldn't retrieve specific memories. I think… I kind of like to think that we… we have started accepting that if that's the way it's going to be from now on… it'll be fine. Because I survived and all, you know… I mean, does that make sense?"
"Well, could be. I'm just surprised that there wasn't a certain trigger to it. I mean, like a word or a gesture… anything, really. A person, maybe…?" he inquired, making Jo bite her lip and glance over at Alex, smiling at him. Really? Not even that makes you react? Ugh!
"Umm… well, nothing I can think of off the top of my head right now…," Jo said, a little untruthfully.
"Or nothing you wanna share with us, huh?" Meredith chimed up, smiling at her evilly, earning a flashing glare. They all laughed.
"What are you talking about?" Derek looked over at his wife who gave him a meaningful look. There was a slight pause. "Oh, ohhhh!" he exclaimed, making Jo laugh now. She squeezed his arm again, mouthing a thank you before walking a few steps towards Alex.
"Baby, come here," she told him, reaching out for his hand, matching eyes with him, trying to find out where his mind was at. The room was buzzing with excitement but quieted down to anxious anticipation of Alex's still pending reaction. Jo rubbed his arms up and down, feeling like they were staring into each other's souls. "Do you wanna go somewhere more private and talk about it?" she whispered towards him. Ugh, say something. She bit her lips. All of a sudden, Jo watched Alex lose a single tear, immediately feeling like somebody had torn her heart in two. She took a deep breath, clasping his face and wiping the tear away with her thumb. "It's over, Alex. I'm back. We're good. Everything's good, now," she murmured before pecking his lips lightly. When she pulled back, more tears were running down his face and his eyes were radiating… terror. Oh baby. Her face distorted and she tried to not cry with him, pulling him into a tight embrace which he finally, thankfully, reciprocated. Jo felt like he had never hugged her like that before. Oh God, you're killing me. She could feel him tremble in her embrace and knew he was crumbling underneath the entirety of the emotions he had been piling on the last couple of months. She looked up at the ceiling but couldn't stop her tears from falling herself and at the same time had to laugh out loud with all the excitement that filled her. After a while of Alex crying heartbreakingly, they pulled back and he looked at her burningly, holding her at arm's length.
"You're back?" he croaked out. Jo smiled at him sadly before leaning her head to the side and nodded.
"I'm back, baby," she confirmed, before he had pulled her into a gut-wrenching kiss, her arms snapping around his neck instantly, his arms bolting around her waist. She could make out sobs and cheers and light chuckles from their audience but she didn't care. All she could think of was how utterly deep Alex was kissing her, how he told her everything within that kiss. How much he had missed her, how desperately he had tried to hold steady for her, how unbelievingly hard he had fought for her to come back to him. Everything. Jo didn't know how long they stood there, but when they finally broke the kiss, Alex smiled at her and she crumbled, sobbing and losing more tears. He chuckled, pulling her closer again, making their foreheads lean together and drew his shapes on her back. After a moment, she pushed him a little and he looked up at her.
"You did the anger management classes and didn't tell me?" Jo glared at him madly but with a grin. He laughed.
"Yep," he said, wriggling his eyebrows at her. "Words are worth way more than fists," he nodded at her knowingly, making her chuckle. "They can even hurt a lot more than fists can," he recited what they had both learned in separate classes, Jo snorting before pecking his lips again.
"I love you," she whispered through pecks. "Thanks for not giving up on me," she said, losing one more tear. Alex pulled her into another hug.
"Thanks for staying with me even though you saw me as your brother," he chuckled, making her hit him and laugh. They stayed swaying for another moment before they both pulled back and rubbed their faces dry, Jo leaning against the back of the couch and sighing deeply.
"I can't believe this," she chuckled, him joining in. They looked around the room, seeing all their colleagues awestruck and crying. They both burst out laughing. "Better than a telenovela, huh?" Jo spat out at their faces. Meredith was the first one to unfreeze.
"I'm so glad you're back, Jo," she told her genuinely.
"Thank you, Meredith, thank you so much," Jo gave her back with the same amount of passion. "We probably wouldn't have made it without you," she admitted. Meredith shook her head, laughing.
"Oh, nonsense, you guys would have made it no matter what," she said, genuinely believing what she said. Jo looked back at Alex, smiling.
"Yeah, no matter what," she whispered. He looked at her with his hands resting at his sides. Business Alex.
"So, are you ready to do that prep talk with Braden's parents or what?" he asked her, his eyes shimmering. Jo laughed.
"Yes, absolutely, let's go," she said, pushing herself away from the couch. "I can't wait for the surgery we're gonna do together," she said, stressing the last part making him chuckle.
"M-hm," he replied sarcastically, putting an arm around her and walking her out, Jo nuzzling her nose on his neck. "Let's do it together," he repeated in deepest contentment.
[June 2017]
Jo giggled when they tried to untangle their limbs somehow, groaning when her hip cracked noisily. Alex smirked at her while retrieving the sheets from the floor and covered them both up, holding her at arm's length and playing with the skin on her side.
"You know I have a really hard time re-enacting our initial moves in my mind once we unmount each other. How in the world did we end up doing it like that?" Jo gave him big eyes and chuckled. Alex pulled himself closer and nibbled at her neck playfully. "Ohh, oh," she moaned out mockingly. "Go on," she said, holding onto his broad shoulders, giggling softly for him tickling her intentionally with his teeth.
"We really should have gone into some artistic business. Acrobatics, really," he pondered, making her squirm with the vibrations on her skin. He snaked his arm underneath her head and pulled her closer for her to lie on his shoulder, playing with her hair and looking down at her face. She smiled up at him before pecking his lips.
"Yeah, well. Now that you've helped me kick my boards' ass, I gotta say, I really don't feel like switching professions. That'd be kind of a waste. You know, with me being a brilliant surgeon and all…," she told him with a smug face.
"M-hm," Alex agreed with a big nod, both of them enjoying their silly back and forth. He tried to hold back a yawn, appreciating Jo's fingers running through his hair and over his face slowly, closing his eyes.
"Why do you think there's so many divorces?" Jo questioned him all of a sudden. He opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling before scrunching up his face and looking at her amusedly.
"Where the hell's that coming from all of a sudden?" he chuckled mildly.
"Oh, just wondering… we kinda got a little trashed last night at the hotel bar… you know, nerves and the likes… Steph and Ben started this discussion about marriages… Steph being her usual cynical self," Jo laughed. "And Ben… well, you know Ben. Positivity in person would be the understatement of the year. So, we kind of got really into it and well… It just crossed my mind again, now that I'm lying here with my amazing husband," she winked at him, good-naturedly. Alex chuckled.
"Well, I'm sure you had some answers at the ready last night?"
"Yeah, I don't know… Steph was going on about… careers and you know… how when you're in surgery, you need to really focus on your job and blah… and then when you have kids… everything changes… and then people change a lot over time as well… I don't know. Probably, all of that's true I guess," she pondered.
"Yeah, probably," he nodded at her, not trying to get too deep into the conversation.
"I don't think that happens, though, if people love each other… you know… marry for the right reasons…choose the right timing…," Jo continued. Alex rolled his eyes at her, initiating another kiss.
"Let's continue what we were doing before," he suggested, murmuring against her lips, making her smile.
"No, let's talk about this. I don't wanna come home one day and have you tell me you're filing for divorce or something," she smacked apart from him and gave him a glare, making them both chuckle.
"As if that's going to happen," he looked at her mockingly.
"Well, what do I know?"
"You know, trust me," he told her, pecking her lips again.
"Okay. True. I genuinely don't think we're built to divorce," she told him matter-of-factly. Alex raised his eyebrows at this.
"We're not?"
"Nope," Jo shook her head at him, grinning widely.
"Well, good," he replied, kissing her again.
"Alex," she squealed, desperately wanting for him to say something. "Can you take me seriously for once?"
"Not right now," Alex snorted. Jo rolled her eyes and sighed.
"I just really think… we could make it through anything," she stated, looking up at him questioningly.
"You're plastered with endorphins at the moment. Of course you think that. I wouldn't wanna have you saying anything differently after giving you a screaming orgasm," he pointed out for her.
"Alex," Jo smacked the back of his head. "I'm serious. I'll tell you again tomorrow. I really believe that we are stronger than lots of other couples," she pouted.
"If you say so, babe. Anything for you," he leaned in for another kiss.
"You don't think so?" Alex groaned at her still haunted expression, exasperated.
"Of course I do. I love you, for God's sake. Now, let's get back to the fun part," he ordered, staring her down. Jo immediately gave him her innocent eyes and grinned at him widely. He grabbed her whole body and pulled it with him to lie at her mercy, engrossing her in a kiss that took their breaths away.
"No matter what," Jo breathed out heavily when Alex put his hands between her legs, teasing her. "Right?"
"Yes, Jo, no matter what," Alex gave her back with a burning gaze before shutting her up for the night. No matter what.
[February 19th, 2020]
Jo wriggled slightly when she could feel Alex's lips touching down on hers, the corners of hers tugging up immediately, trying to hide a yawn. She pulled up her shoulders and stretched out her toes to mobilize from her rigid sleeping position, feeling Alex's upper arm underneath her ear tense. They were lying in a tight embrace, their torsos touching, Jo's hand casually draped over Alex's back and her right leg jammed in between both his legs, both facing each other on their sides. She felt how Alex pecked away feathery light kisses on her face, and she started wondering what in the world had made him wake up before her on a dark winter's morning like that. That riddle was solved in a matter of seconds when Jo could make out Alex's raspy, sleep-laced voice whisper near her ear.
"Happy first giving birth anniversary, babe," he breathed, making her smile instantly. Yay! Babies' first birthday! She yawned again before blinking a couple of times and trying to focus her blurred vision on Alex's face, hovering only inches apart from her.
"Good morning," she breathed, giving him her best I woke up a minute ago but for you I'll even conjure up a probably not so minty-fresh toothy morning grin. He chuckled mildly before placing his lips on hers, waiting for her to kiss him. She chuckled before pointing her lips and pecking his. She rolled herself from his embrace to stretch out her whole body, the fingers of her left hand still intertwined with his before rolling back and feeling better and more awake immediately. "Thanks for the appreciation! I feel so special," she told him genuinely.
"Oh well, you deserve to feel special today. Well, actually every day. But especially today," Alex told her, swooping down again for a slightly longer kiss.
"I can't believe they're a year old today," Jo pondered, following the traces of Alex's fingers on her back in her mind.
"Yeah, time flies when you're having fun," he gave her back.
"No, no, actually I was thinking the exact opposite. I can't believe we've only known them for a year! I can't even remember what life was like before we had our beautiful babies," she said, looking at him joyfully.
"Well, you've had one very big baby to take care of for quite a while now, don't you forget about that," Alex pointed out, making her laugh.
"I can't believe I've only known you for the last 7 years, either. It feels like I've never lived a different life. I couldn't imagine living a life without you," she pondered on.
"Whoa, whoa, doing the sentimental stuff this early in the morning, didn't I tell you I wanted an early notice when you start that crap?" he told her mockingly, Jo's eyes growing wide.
"You woke me, idiot," she told him, bursting with laughter, immediately being pulled into a deep kiss, moaning in content. They succumbed to staring at each other in utter happiness, Jo stroking Alex's cheek. "I'm just so excited for their lives to start," she almost squealed.
"Oh, it has started, trust me. They're never gonna wanna grow up with a freaking awesome family like ours," he pointed out, stressing every word. Jo laughed and nodded.
"Yep, true that," she agreed whole-heartedly. "I really hope once they're angry, moody teenagers, they'll still think their lives have been as perfect as I think all of ours are," she stated dreamily.
"Oh, we'll make them think so, trust me. We'll drill them until perfection," Alex ordered mockingly. Jo genuinely enjoyed their light-hearted mood that morning. It was so much easier to get up with having someone in bed with you that makes you wanna not sleep but be up and spend time with.
"Can you even imagine us fighting about our lives being too perfect during the amnesia?" she chuckled. "My doubts about you loving me too much and the kids being too perfect and everything seeming so… above the norm," she laughed, Alex joining in.
"Yeah, you really kept me struggling for some reasoning," he snorted.
"It's weird. It's been 4 months since the accident and 2 months since I got my memory back. It feels like years have passed since then," she pondered. "Don't you think?"
"Um, yeah, because I was giving you back yeeeears of memories. We basically relived six years," Alex made his point very clear.
"Aww," Jo pitied him mockingly. "Come here, baby," she hugged him and pecked his lips. "You did such a great job," making him chuckle.
"Yeah, yeah, you just mock me. Next time I won't be that nice and patient with you," he threatened her sarcastically.
"Ugh, what a husband I have found myself," Jo shook her head and smiled. "I love you, Alex," she turned to serious for a moment, searching his eyes. When they matched, he smiled.
"I love you, too, sappy girl," Alex responded before kissing her again, this time way more passionately than their time frames allowed for them. When they broke, Jo wrestled with the sheets a bit before slowly getting up to a sitting position, Alex's hand still resting in her lap.
"I really kinda feel bad now for having forgotten to celebrate you on happy knocking me up day last year," Jo scrunched up her face and looked back at his smirking face, having raised his eyebrows.
"Oh, trust me, I can give you plenty more chances to do so," he wriggled his forehead at her now. Jo looked at him in half surprise, half amusement, sliding around on her knees to look at him.
"Oh, really?"
"M-hm," Alex nodded, trying to fetch her wrist to pull her down towards him, not giving her the chance to get up. "Easiest," he told her, chuckling against her lips. "Let's start with today. We'll be able to celebrate together next year," both bursting with laughter within their kiss, Alex having grabbed her backside and pushing her on top of him. Jo broke the kiss and bit down on her lips, grinning.
"I'm not so sure I wanna do this so soon after our little squealies… we are only celebrating their first birthday today, remember?" she looked at him suspiciously.
"Well, you never know… you might already be pregnant… or you might get pregnant at some point… or never… or we might adopt… you never know beforehand… we didn't plan the twins, remember?" Alex told her knowingly, the mood bursting with their grinning and excitement… not for any more kids or family planning… but with excitement for the future.
"How about we just stop making plans… like in general?" Jo suggested to him, lying down in his embrace once more realizing Alex would always win the fight against reason, putting her arms around his neck where their rightful place was.
"Why?" Alex looked up at her in slight confusion.
"Well," she hesitated a moment, looking down at his chest. "In my experience… plans just ruin lives… I mean, you know, you plan out your life… and then life itself gets in the way anyhow… and it never comes as you might think it does… I mean, you can't ever know what comes next… I didn't think I'd meet the love of my existence in Seattle when I moved here… and also, I really didn't think that I'd grow to love this mattress… I planned on replacing it the first night I passed out in here," Jo nodded at him matter-of-factly, their laughter not having ceased yet. It was soft though, pleasant. "And the kids… well they just surprised us at a time when I didn't even think that we were having enough sex to conceive them," she chuckled. "But it seems that everything passionate between us can produce something… and apparently contraceptives don't keep us from reproducing, either… and the world doesn't stop producing little Jos or Chiwas that need a family desperately, either, so… may come what comes… I just don't wanna make any more plans and then be too disappointed or too overwhelmed with what happens to them…," Jo ended her speech and earned a kiss for it.
"You're sweet, baby," he said, earning a surprised face. He laughed. "It's okay, I know I don't use that word very much. But you kinda are," he said, kissing her again, making her moan. "Let's just… carry on with our lives and see what's ahead. You're right. No more making plans. I don't like disappointments. Especially with hoping. I like knowing. Like I know that I'll never let you go," he grinned over at her.
"Who's being sweet now?" she sparkled her eyes at him.
"Well, but that's not a plan. A plan is something you imagine and then hope it comes true. It is a fact, though, that I love you. And it's also a fact that this mattress is awesome – I can't believe you doubted my best friend the mattress for a second," Alex ended his argument with some mockery.
"Well, true. Let's also decide that surviving this world together is a fact, alright? Planning to be together is kinda weak… and it didn't get us too far with the accident and all… you know, us planning to be together for the rest of our lives and then that stupid ruby colored pick-up truck decides to ruin that plan… I mean, for all we know I could have died… it's awful. So, no more planning to be together. Let's just know we'll be together," Jo decided, initiating another kiss to underline her decision.
"Fuck," Alex spat out, breaking the kiss.
"What?" Jo asked him wide-eyed, startled.
"You could have died," he realized, his heart beating rapidly.
"I didn't though, baby, I'm right here, just as we had… well…" she looked at him sheepishly. "planned," Jo smiled.
"Yeah. That would have been a wicked change of plans."
[The End]
For those who care:
TIMELINE.
CHAPTER 1: waking up - October 17th, 2019; (accident: night of October 12th/13th, 2019)
CHAPTER 2: same day
CHAPTER 3: same day
CHAPTER 4: next day - October 18th, 2019
CHAPTER 5: same day
CHAPTER 6: same day
CHAPTER 7: next day - October 19th, 2019
CHAPTER 8: next couple of weeks; kiss - November 2nd, 2019
CHAPTER 9: next day - November 3rd, 2019
CHAPTER 10: same day
CHAPTER 11: going home day, next day - November 4th
CHAPTER 12: same day
CHAPTER 13: same day
CHAPTER 14: same day; (flashback: a week after 10x01/x02; in my world mentioned in July but I do know that's untrue to GA… but I had to settle it somewhere)
CHAPTER 15: still same day ;)
CHAPTER 16: next day - November 5th
CHAPTER 17: same day
CHAPTER 18: same day; (flashback: end of July 2018, 7 weeks pregnant)
CHAPTER 19: same day/night (flashback: Elliot's stalking starting 1st year of Jo's fellowship, June 2017)
CHAPTER 20: next week; birth story - November 12th (flashback: birth day February 19th, 2019)
CHAPTER 21: same day
CHAPTER 22: same night/next day - November 13th
CHAPTER 23: next day - November 14th
CHAPTER 24: same night/next day - November 15th
CHAPTER 25/26/27: (flashback: January/February 2015)
CHAPTER 28: same day - November 15th
CHAPTER 29: "weeks later" - fight, November 24th
CHAPTER 30: same night
CHAPTER 31: next day - November 25th
CHAPTER 32: same day
CHAPTER 33: next day - November 26th
CHAPTER 34: Thanksgiving - November 28th, 2019
CHAPTER 35: Sunday after - December 1st
CHAPTER 36: (flashback: August/September 2018)
CHAPTER 37: (flashback: August/September 2018)
CHAPTER 38: same day - December 1st (flashback: August/September 2018)
CHAPTER 39: next day - December 2nd
CHAPTER 40: same day
CHAPTER 41: "Weeks later"- Dec 12th
CHAPTER 42: same day (flashback: January 2016)
CHAPTER 43: next day - Dec 13th (flashback: July 2016)
CHAPTE R 44: several days later - Dec 17th
CHAPTER 45: next day - Dec 18th
BONUS: After 10x03 - July 2013 in my story
TO ALL READERS: Finally, I really, really do not know how to tell you this but I cannot thank you enough for your support and encouragement and continuous reviewing and praise you presented me with. I will never forget how I felt all those months publishing regularly, anticipating your reviews, getting more and more excited with each chapter for your undying love and support for the story. I know every author says this and you won't feel personally addressed, but please, just let me tell you this: You are amazing readers and I am really in awe for all of you. Thank you so very, very much for the appreciation, I really… this is me being speechless, otherwise I'd be writing something quite more… eloquent and beautiful. What made me realize your love for the story the most was when you gave me the most amazing reviews and unbelievable count of views for my least favorite chapters. You know, when you don't like one of your chapters or you're insecure about the content or whatever reason... and then you get the same amount of appreciation and views, then you just know... alright, apparently, you really write something that they love. And I loved that so much! Thank you for repeatedly saying that my writing is amazing, thanks for saying that my story is thrilling and captivating, thanks for saying that I made you smile, tear up and/or cry, made your day, squirm, excited, nervous, and so on. Thanks for waiting in front of your computers all day some of you and hitting the reload button all day, thanks for complimenting and loving my details AND long chapters, thanks for saying I wrote them in character, thanks for commenting on even private stuff sometimes, like wishing me luck on my exams and fun on my trip, thanks for giving me so, so, so many more kind words that I partly couldn't even digest. Thank you for YOU!
TO ALL GUEST REVIEWERS: Of course, all of the above applies to you as well! I'm really sad that I will not be able to voice my appreciation to you personally because you've all rocked my world. Some of you really gave me amazing, in-depth comments and I can't tell you enough how much all of those meant to me. I'm still speechless thinking about the love and praise for my words! Please, at least feel appreciated with this. I virtually hug you: TC, Irina from Romania :), Tanya, Sarah, J, Elian, christina, T, jj, Katie, Mel, Leah, Jen, Anna, Lauren109, Lauren, a, julia95, ceren, Tye, Julie, lisaa and of course every one of you who reviewed as 'guest'! And everyone who may review in the future! You are amazing!
TO ALL REVIEWERS WITH AN ACCOUNT: All of the above! AND, please look out for a private message containing all my gratitude (after I come back home from my trip :D). I really wanna make a point and tell you how much I appreciate you guys rooting for this story!