They hadn't really been able to check on Raphael in the van, all cramped and traumatized in their own way. The fire burned in the back of April's mind until they arrived at the farm of April's youth to hide and recover. Bone-weary as the rag-tag team of fighters were now that the adrenaline was gone, Raphael was their first priority. There was something about the way Donatello and Michelangelo reacted to seeing their big bad brother unconscious and beaten that tore her heart out. She didn't know what to do to comfort them.

Leonardo was beside himself with guilt and grief. He solemnly sent his brothers away with Casey to recover from battle. He allowed April to stay and help him wash and dress Raphael's wounds but she suspected it was only because he knew she was familiar with the place and could anticipate what he needed and get it to him quickly.

"I told him we didn't need him," Leonardo finally broke down. "What if those are the last words I'll ever get to say to him?" Sitting defeated in a chair next to Raphael's bed, he buried his face in his hands and April could tell he was crying silently. She rested a hand briefly on his shoulder before leaving him in privacy.

The next couple of days passed in a whirl. The house was a dusty old mess and a lot of things needed repairs. She tried to keep Michelangelo and Donatello occupied from their grief by keeping them busy, making them feel needed. Casey mostly complained and flirted but he said he was handy and helped get the water running.

April realized she had barely seen Leonardo beyond Raphael's room and sought him out with a plate of food. "You need to eat and rest."

Leonardo grumbled a reply as he took the dish of chicken, rice and vegetables April had brought up for him.

She was suddenly struck by the suspicion that this was the first time he'd eaten since they arrived here. He looked exhausted. "Why don't you let your brothers help, Leo?" April asked. "They are worried sick and you won't let them up here for more than a few minutes at a time."

"He wouldn't want them to see him like this. It would piss him off," Leonardo answered between mouthfuls.

"How about you and I take shifts so I don't have two unconscious giant turtles up here? I've finished cleaning the place up with the guys, I have lots of time. Van is dead again so I can't even go into town until Casey and Donatello fix it."

"You might be waiting a long time." They shared a small smile. Leonardo sighed and gave some instructions to April, then allowed her to show him to his own room. Even someone as disciplined as he was couldn't stay awake longer than three days. He could barely think anymore and the food settled into his stomach with a warm and lulling fullness. He was asleep before she shut the door to leave.

oooooo

Donatello and Mikey questioned Casey ceaselessly and he took it all in stride. They wanted to know how regular guys lived and how he and Raphael had become friends. Not surprisingly, it had been in a fight. April warned them that Casey was not a typical 'dude' and probably the worst role model for normal human behavior they could choose. They adored him anyways and April was impressed with how well he treated them. Even though every other thing they seemed to say to each other was an insult, she could tell it was all in good fun.

As much as April enjoyed watching their banter, she took her leave of them to start her evening at Raphael's bedside. Leonardo was looking much better now that he was eating and sleeping, but Raphael was the same. Her stomach twisted in a knot every time she saw him.

She knocked lightly and entered Raphael's room. Leonardo had rolled him onto his stomach and was running a worried hand over his shell. "He's getting too dehydrated. We aren't getting enough water into him," he said.

April hurried over and noticed that his carapace looked dry and brittle in spots, the once beautiful dark shell now flaked with white around the scutes. She ran her hand over Leonardo's shell as a direct comparison. It was smooth like polished mahogany, the spiral patterns within each scute like a delicate carving. Her heart ached when she looked back at the red-masked turtle.

"What can we do for him?" she asked.

"He needs to soak. Do you think he will fit in the tub?"

"Let's call your brothers to help lift him up and find out."

Donatello and Michelangelo were eager to help. They struggled to lift and carry Raphael the short distance down the hallway. April waited in the bathroom and had laid a few towels along the bottom of the bathtub for padding. She heard a thump, and a growled "Watch his head!" and then the three of them were trying to position him properly.

The claw footed tub that had always seemed so huge to April when she was a kid could not accommodate the width of Raphael's shell on his back. They had to settle for him being on his side with his head propped up, the water only reaching just over the mid-line of his shell. Then he had to be flipped onto the other side after a time. Then the water had to drain so he could dry off enough in an empty tub to be returned to bed.

It was a long and upsetting procedure for everyone. Raphael would hate being fawned over like this. His brothers sometimes winced back from dropping a hand too roughly or some other small slight that would normally warrant a swat from the impatient turtle. The fact that he remained so passive and unresponsive drove home that he was in deep trouble if he didn't wake up soon.

That night, April just could not get to sleep. The house was silent and dark as she tried in vain to get comfortable in the chair next to Raphael's bed. She finally settled across the chair, swinging her legs up and over the armrest and laying her head on the arm next to his pillow. She stroked his cool head softly.

"You have to wake up, Raph. Your body can't handle much more of this," she whispered.

Raphael sighed heavily and she sat bolt upright in excitement. Her heart swelled for a moment, but there was nothing more from him. She snuggled her head back down next to him, rubbing his arm, grasping his huge hand and curling it around hers.

Her soft spot for this brother in particular was growing into something else even as he seemed to be slipping away. The thought of loosing him just as she was getting to know him hurt her heart. The thought of watching his brothers try to go on without him and Splinter made the tears come. Leonardo thought he harbored all of the guilt, but it was because they had met her that their father had been taken in the first place.

oooooo

It was the third day of Raphael's soakings and the sixth day of him being unconscious. Everyone was trying to deal with it in their own way, and April did her best to keep the mood light downstairs.

Casey and Michelangelo had gone into town to pick up supplies. Mikey had promised to stay in a trench coat, a hat and remain in the truck while Casey shopped. Donatello was telling April about his triumph in fixing the van, and she laughed out loud when he got to the part where he ruined the side of the barn by driving through it...and almost Jones as well.

Suddenly Leo was yelling upstairs about food. April and Donatello stopped talking for a moment and looked dead into each others eyes with excitement and hope. They almost knocked their chairs over as they took off in a run from the kitchen table and raced up the stairs.

Raphael was up, and he was hungry.

oooooo

April and Michelangelo cooked the biggest breakfast feast the next morning that any of them had ever seen. They moved fluidly, efficiently and playfully together. Leonardo watched them and considered how lucky they were to have her as a friend. The feast was laid out on the table and the six of them dug in. Raphael and Casey argued over the last of the bacon while Mikey hogged the pancakes.

They recounted the tales of their awesome fighting prowess in the huge battle that destroyed April's home. She tried not to let it get her down and stayed upbeat, backing up each one's bragging rights.

"I can't believe I was out for the whole fight!" Raphael exclaimed, mouth full of food. "Did you guys stash me in a bathtub there too? Or just let all the bad guys take cheap shots at me?"

"Actually, April protected you!" blurted Michelangelo, and they all laughed.

"Hey!" warned April, smiling indignantly. "I did a good job. I even cushioned his head when the floor fell in."

"The floor fell in?! Man, I missed all the good stuff," said Raphael. "I hope you didn't try to use my sai again, that was a pretty pitiful display in the subway," he teased April.

"No, I had a stick," she laughed. "I did much better with that."