A/N: Yay, my first multi-chapter fic!

It was truly a bad habit. Sure, going after paranormal and strange creatures was what being a self-proclaimed paranormal investigator was all about- but this was ridiculous! He always got hurt somehow, and he was quite sick of it, to be honest. But this time, this case- they had taken the cake. It was that damn vampire's fault! The eighteenth-century pretty boy had wasted no time in sneaking up on Dib and bestowing upon him the kiss of death. Death of his human life, anyways . . . Now he was doomed to roam about an immortal, blood-thirsty savage; and that, Dib decided, was something he did not want to do.

So, as he knew that his father would simply call him crazy, he had to enlist his enemy to save him. After all, Zim had the best lab in the city (well, probably the world with his Irken technology), and Dib needed him. Boy, did that knowledge hurt going down! But the inevitable was inevitable, and Dib sighed as he knocked on the purple door to Zim's base, wondering how many times he had done that in the past seven years the alien had taken up residence here on Earth.

To the relief of Dib's inner coward, it was not the alien who opened the door, but his slightly dysfunctional robot, Gir, who made strange but kick-ass waffles. The peppy little robot squealed at the site of the lanky teen, paying no mind to the new paleness and fangs as he hugged him around the middle and said "It's been so long since you've been here, Mary! Why doesn't you visit no more? You make my piggy and my master sad! After all, master-"

"ENOUGH, GIR!"

The familiar screech made Dib sigh, and he turned to behold the green Irken, Zim, crossing his arms and studying him curiously. Dib gulped- he wasn't used to being stared at so intently. It made him uncomfortable. And hot . . . Not that he'd admit that. Maybe it was just the temperature inside the base . . . Sure, that was it. At any rate, something needed to be said, and Zim was never one to be short on words.

"So, Dib-stink, what brings you to my base? I haven't seen you in, what has it been, three months now?"

Dib nodded. "Almost seven, actually. I mean, with so many paranormal cases popping up, you can't expect me to stay at hi-skool and listen to teachers drone on about doom all day, right?" he laughed nervously, rubbing the scars on the side of his neck nervously. What he had said was true, but his evasion was not going unnoticed.

Zim raised a brow inquisitively. "Though I have grown accustomed to your ramblings, hyuman, I warn you that my patience wears thin. Spit it out! You must have a reason for getting past the re-vamped security gnomes just to see me. I know you do! What is it, human- tell me now!"

Dib smiled sadly and said "Actually, you can't insult me by calling me a human anymore."

Zim's antennae popped out of his wig in surprise. "What? What are you saying, Dib? Is this a trick?!" Zim hissed, antennae flattening against his skull. Dib shook his head gravely, and in the blink of an eye went from standing outside to the center of Zim's living room, and back again to stand beside Zim. The Irken gasped and flinched at Dib's sudden appearance, and Gir giggled manically.

"You fast now! Hee-hee!"

"What are you?" Zim whispered. Dib turned to face him directly, and opened his mouth to reveal a set of glistening, razor-sharp teeth. He then reached behind his glasses, and pulled out a honey-colored contact, revealing his now crimson irises. "A v-vampire?" Zim gaped and took a small, involuntary step back. "Why did you come here?!" he demanded, feeling slightly scared and confused as all hell.

Dib looked at him morosely, and said "Zim, I need your help. Please."

"And why do you think I would assist YOU, Earthling?" Zim snarled.

"Because you're the only one that can," Dib said quietly.

Zim stared at him for a few moments, and took in the desperation written across Dib's face. The teen was clearly frightened, and for good reason: Zim really was the only one who could help him. After all, humans had no technology capable of any useful task, and of course there was no technology as efficient and advanced as the Irken stock Zim had, or so Zim liked to think. A few more cruel seconds slipped by, and then the Irken said:" . . . okay. What do you want me to do?"

"Change me back. Make me a human again! I don't want to drink the blood of innocent people, or even bad people really . . . I mean, it is great that I'm so strong and fast now, but I can not become a murderer. I refuse! There's no way to avoid blood drinking when you're a vampire, and I don't wanna do it, even when my throat aches as it is now. I . . . I can't kill someone . . . " Dib's voice shook, and tears fell from his now mismatch colored eyes. Zim stared at him in silent horror, all traces of emotion wiped from his face as he tried to register all of the madness.

Finally, a noise from the kitchen startled Zim, who lead Dib to the toilet chute after yelling at Gir to clean up the tacos that had appeared all over the floor and walls. The two teens sped down to the lab in the tube, and the nearness of Zim made Dib's throat burn. The alien smelled so . . . . Exotic. Most humans smelled earthy, almost dirty, whereas Zim smelled like sugar and flowers and yum. Dib leaned forward, breathing the Irken in.

Zim quickly smacked the vampire. "What the hell, Dib?! If you continue to sniff me like I'm your dinner, you will face the wrath of ZIM!"

Dib quickly snapped out of it and said "Sorry, Zim. I haven't, er, eaten yet- I don't want to hurt anyone. Its just that . . . Well, you smell different than humans do, so you really-umm-drew me in."

Zim gave Dib his classic one eye open, the other eye squinted look and said "Eh? And just how do I smell different, Dib-meat?"

"Well, humans sort of smell like dirt, whereas you smell like, I don't know, cookies or flowers or something. You just . . . . You smell great." Dib looked down at his boots in shame, and as they arrived at the lab, Zim noticed the Dib blushing. Shrugging it off as a side-effect of hunger, Zim yelled at the computer to wake up and help him.

The computer groaned. "Uggh, what is it with this big-headed kid and your fixation with him?"

"My head's not big!" Dib yelled defensively.

"SILENCE!" roared Zim. "The probing begins now!"

"P-probing?!" Dib screeched. "Don't tell you plan on probing me?! Zim?!"

Zim grinned at him, flashing his zipper-like teeth as he said: "Computer! Prepare the blood and tissue extraction test, and scan his body." A loud clang echoed down the tube from the kitchen above. "And close off the toilet so that Gir can't get in here!"

"Slave-driver," the computer mumbled, proceeding to moodily do what it was commanded. Eventually, Dib had a syringful of blood taken, and some skin cells were scraped off of his knee.

"Okay, Dib-fangs, here's the deal," Zim said loudly, ignoring the eye roll he received from the teen. "According to the computer, it is biologically impossible to take all of the effects away. You are stuck as a vampire." Dib groaned and started to choke on tears. "I'm not finished!" yelled Zim. "As I said, you are stuck as a vampire, but there are certain parts of your vampire-ness that I may be able to eliminate or lessen."

Dib whipped his head up "Really? Like what?"

The eagerness in his blood-red eyes is almost cute, thought Zim, before mentally punching himself. "Er, oh yes, you're vampire-ness! As I was saying, I think that I can take away your skin's aversion to the sun and lessen your need for blood." Zim then inspected his gloved hands carefully, as though what he had just said was of little to no importance.

"That's great, Zim! But . . . How? I mean, what could make it possible for a vampire to live without an average amount of blood? Whatever is normal for vampires, anyways. . . "

Zim grinned devilishly, and said "Well, it just so happens that the mighty ZIM and his computer make a miraculous team. Once you were scanned, it showed that your skin, due to its death before reanimation, is weak to light. Therefore it becomes thinner and more flammable with more exposure to sunlight. I, as a mighty Irken, have superb protection against the sun built into my skin! I once burned my eyeballs off, but a few hours later they grew back fully functional. So, if I infuse you with my cells, you can have a protected epidermis." Zim smirked, and Dib raised his eyebrow.

"So tell me, Zim- how did you know all of that?"

"The almighty ZIM! knows all."

"Actually, he was just reading the report on my screen," the computer tattled, and Dib busted up laughing when Zim gave the computer the finger. Zim couldn't help himself, launching into a full rant as the computer sighed and printed out instructions for Dib's operation. It was weird how such a tragedy was almost becoming something akin to fun.

~~Comments? Reviews? Tell me how I'm doing! :)