Chalk Outline

By The-Great-Snape-Debate and Enigma 42

Chapter 1

"You left me here like a chalk outline
On the sidewalk waiting for the rain
To wash away, to wash away
You keep coming back to the scene of the crime
But the dead can't speak and there's nothing left to say anyway
All you left behind
Is a chalk outline"
- Three Days Grace

The darkness was suffocating, pressing in on each side of him, constricting his movements. His body felt like a weight to heavy to lift or move. The darkness was like an unstoppable force, his body an immovable object, leaving both at a stand still of pressure that was indescribable.

The air around him seemed thick, leaving him unable to breath. The pain in his throat extended through his nerves, his entire body wracked with pain, his lungs burning from lack of air. Is this what death feels like?

Severus struggled to raise his arms, bringing his hands to his throat, feeling the thick wetness of blood dripping from the gaping hole in his neck. Why?

That was the ultimate question. Why? His death served no purpose. Though ... he supposed he did deserve it. After all that he's done. After all the mistakes he's made ... the good he did made little difference. Perhaps this was hell. This was where he belonged.

"Severus." He heard his name whispered from all directions, though he did not know where it had come from. "Severus." Albus ... The voice he was sure he'd never hear again, not anywhere but from a portrait, fictional ... a memory.

"Albus?" Severus asked, though his voice came out naught but silence. "Albus." He said once again. There was no sound in this place. Nothing but Dumbledore's voice whispering his name.

"Severus." Severus paused, his hands still gripping his throat fell back against ... what ever it was he seemed to be laying on ... He didn't know.

That voice though ... that voice was not Dumbledore's ... That voice was female ... and familiar. He tried to open his eyes, but he could not. "Severus." The voice came again.

Minerva. No ... He felt his heart break. No, she couldn't be dead. Not Minerva. He felt tears spring to his eyes and he struggled to move. No, not her ... Who would take care of the students?

"Severus, open your eyes." Albus said quietly. I'm trying! Severus' mind screamed, where his voice could not. "Severus."

Suddenly, as if a bucket of cold water had been splashed over him, Severus was free. The darkness faded, the pain stopped. He opened his eyes and sat straight up, gasping for breath as if he'd been drowning, which he practically had been.

"Severus." The voice was louder now. Less hollow. He looked around, his sight to blurred to take in his surroundings, but it was bright. "Severus, calm down. You're alright now."

"Minerva?" He asked, looking at her blurred form. He shook his head and moved his head down into his hands, rubbing his eyes. Why couldn't he see straight.

"Severus, be respectful." Albus said, gently. "You have been through a great deal Severus. Do you know where you are?" Severus took a few moments, his hands rubbing his eyes as he tried to clear them. He opened his eyes again, and looked around. The hospital wing?

"Am I dead?" He asked quietly. Albus chuckled slightly.

"No ... no my boy you are not. Do you remember what happened?" Albus asked quietly, sitting down on the edge of Severus' bed. He glanced at Albus. He wasn't dead? But ... how can that be?

"Do I ... Do I remember?" He asked, confused as to what Albus meant. Of course he remembered. How could he not remember. The huge snake coming at him, with no where to escape, the magic holding his arms to his sides as the snake sunk it's huge fangs into his soft flesh. How could he not remember.

"I ... I remember ..." Severus said shakily. "I remember being in the shrieking shack." He looked around the hospital wing, white and cold as it always had been. Why was he here? Had he survived? No ... Albus was dead. So ... how?

"Yes, Mr. Snape. You were in the shrieking shack. I have no doubts that you are in shock my boy." Albus said quietly as to not disturb the other patients. "You followed Mr. Lupin into the shrieking shack last night. Mr. Potter came and saved you, luckily." Severus looked at him confused.

"Lupin?" He asked. "Lupin wasn't ..." He paused. Followed Lupin into the shrieking shack? Lupin was long since dead before he'd gone to the shack, but ... He looked back at Albus. No ... it couldn't be.

"Um ... Al- ... Headmaster ... to which Potter are you referring?" Severus asked. He felt a hand move to his head, checking for a fever.

"Severus. Are you alright?" Albus asked, true concern on his face. "We only have one Potter in this school."

"Which?" Severus asked, not getting an actual answer from the man.

"Mr. James Potter." Albus said, even more confused than before. Severus looked down at the bed, to his hands. He took everything in as best as he can. Albus was alive, James and Lupin where in the shrieking shack. All three of these men were dead ... He knew they were dead.

"Severus, you've been unconscious for three days. I have no doubt that you are confused, my boy. Please ... lay down and rest for a while." Severus then noticed something else. Something he hadn't noticed before.

His hands.

He lifted his hands and stared at them. It wasn't his hands themselves that confused him. It was the lack of scars, and calluses from years of potion making. The thinness of the digits. His eyes trailed over his arms down to his own body. He was at least fifty pounds lighter than he had been mere moments ago.

"No ..." Severus muttered, almost in rely to what Albus was saying. "I ... I have to go to the bathroom." This couldn't be right. He had to be wrong.

"Of course." Albus said standing from the bed. He reached down to help Severus up but Severus waved him off.

"I'm fine." he said slowly sitting up and moving towards the bathroom. He closed the door quietly behind him and looked into the mirror. What looked back at him, was a shock.

He seemed to be fifteen or sixteen at most. He was in the past. Albus and Minerva were both alive. He'd followed Lupin into the shrieking shack last night, Potter had saved him. So he was in his fifth year, about a week away from his OWL, if his memory served. He felt like screaming, but he held the urge back. No doubt that would send Albus, Minerva and Poppy in here without hesitation.

He leaned back against the wall. "I'm sixteen." He said staring at the sink's lower cabinet in front of him. "I'm sixteen." It was a fact, but it wasn't sinking in. "I'm sixteen." He said over and over again. "How?" Severus asked, leaning his head back against the wall. He could feel tears running down his cheeks, though why he could not understand. Was it fear? Pain? Happiness? Severus paused. Why would it be happiness? He had to live his entire shitty life all over again - but ... A week before his OWL ... that means ...

"Lily!" Severus cried out loudly. She was still alive. She wasn't mad at him. At least ... not to the point of giving up on him. She could still forgive him. He could change! He had changed! He didn't need to change, he was different already but ... to her he would change ...

This was the second chance Severus had always wanted. But ... Severus paused, his heart sinking suddenly. "This can't be real. This has to be a dream." Severus said staring at the cupboard once more. "How can this be real? It's impossible to go back in time without a time turner, and all of those had been destroyed by Ministry of Magic. So how?" Severus felt his stomach turning in knots. The more he thought about it, the sicker he felt, until a few moments later Severus was leaning over the toilet, expelling what little was in his stomach.

o0o0o0o0o0o

Lily was in the library when Professor McGonagall came to tell her that Severus was finally awake.
As angry as she had been with him lately, she had still found herself dropping by over the past three days, to see if there was any change. There hadn't been. What could have done this to him? She'd heard rumors that he'd been out near the Whomping Willow... But that made no bloody sense. Sev may have been infuriating lately, but he had never been stupid. If Potter and Co. knew anything, they weren't talking. And of course, she had no way of finding out whether any of those pureblood fanatics Sev had been hanging around had anything to do with it. Honestly, what else did he expect, falling in with that lot? Nothing good could come of it, and if he insisted on acting like a complete git when she knew he was better than that...

Nonetheless, she dropped everything and ran straight to the Hospital Wing.

When she arrived, she was panting, hair disheveled. She'd found herself running the whole way, and the stairs had picked the worst possible moment to be uncooperative.

She slowed down as she approached the door, however; Madame Pomfrey would never tolerate racing into the Hospital Wing like that.
She entered, and softly:
"Sev?"

Dumbledore looked up at Lily from where he sat on Severus' bed. Severus looked at her, a look of fear and shock on his face. He was sure he looked quite a bit upset, though he was sure that Dumbledore would take it as from what was just discussed.

He remembered this ... being a traumatized sixteen year old boy, being told he couldn't talk to anyone, being told by the headmaster himself that virtually his own life meant less than another boys attendance in this school.

It seemed so trivial now ... Everything had changed.

Severus watched her as she stood in the door way. "Lily?" He asked, as if he'd never seen her before. As if he were seeing a ghost. Dumbledore cleared his throat and looked to Severus, who was keeping his occumency shields up undetected. No sense in the old man seeing the future so to speak.

"I'll leave you two to catch up then." He said, looking at Severus. "I trust we are in agreement."

Severus looked up at him, and did his best to sneer at the old man, but found that he could not muster the ability to do so. Dumbledore was alive. He hadn't killed him. Yet.

"Of course, Headmaster." He said quietly.

The way Severus looked at her just now...
He seemed... shocked. Was he that surprised to see her here? Did he really think that just because she'd been angry with him lately that she wouldn't come? Lily felt hurt at the idea. But no, surely he knew better than that. And... and there was something else there, too.
Sev was afraid.
Afraid of what? Of what had happened to him? What had Dumbledore been talking to him about, anyway?

Lily walked over to Severus's bedside, and gently put her hand over his. She still wasn't sure what condition he was in, and needed to be careful.
"Sev," she asked quietly. "Are you alright? What happened to you?"

Severus watched her from where he sat leaning against the head board. She was sitting here with him ... she was touching his hand ... she was concerned for him ... This was too much.

"It doesn't matter." He said looking at her, feeling tears spring to his eyes but he would not allow them to fall. As much as he wanted to just break down and weep, that would not help anything. He pulling his hand away from hers and lifted his bandaged hand to her face, his fingers brushing against her cheek. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. It was the words that he'd wanted to say to her for over twenty years. The words he'd lost the chance to say. She wouldn't even know what he was apologizing for ... but it didn't matter. He got to say it. He moved away from the head board and pulled her into a hug, a few tears finally falling down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

Lily stared back at him, bewildered.
What did he mean, 'It doesn't matter'? He'd been in a bloody coma, for Merlin's sake, leaving her worried sick, with no answers and not a thing she could do to help. How could that not matter?
And since when did Severus apologize for anything? Ever?

And... and... were those tears in his eyes?

"Severus," Lily started. "What-"

And then he pulled her into a hug.

Lily was still for a moment, out of sheer confusion.

Then, hesitantly, she hugged him back.
"It's... it's alright, Sev," she said, because she had no idea what else to say. "Everything's going to be okay."

Whatever he'd been through had really done a number on him. Sure, she'd been a bit cross with him lately, but... nothing to merit tearful apologies, not from Severus of all people.
She just hugged him for awhile, since that was what he apparently needed, before finally saying:
"Um... Seriously, though... What happened to you?"

"I ... I can't tell you." He said leaning back against the bed again after reluctantly letting her go. "Dumbledore asked me not to speak of it to anyone. Though ... I'm sure I'll tell you when there aren't so many listening ears." He said with a genuine smile on his face. He was sure she thought he'd gone nuts, but he couldn't help himself. He was sitting here with Lily Evans who has yet to be a Potter ... and better yet, is not yet to the point of not forgiving him.

"I missed you." He said quietly, though the words seemed to escape his mouth before he could stop himself. "I'm sorry ... I'm ... acting strange." He said, trying to find a reason for it, an explanation that she would believe that wasn't far from the truth. "Lets just say I ... I had a bad dream ... I'm ... glad it's over though."

...And now he was smiling. Really smiling. That was rare on a normal occasion, even more so lately. Had Madame Pomfrey given him some kind of potion? One with side effects like drastic mood swings?

Whatever had happened, it had to be pretty serious for Dumbledore to swear him to secrecy... He hadn't had some kind of near death experience, had he? She had heard that those could affect some people strangely... If that was the case, though, was Severus still in danger? No, surely Dumbledore would... would do something?

Sev's next comment had her staring at him in confusion.

"A... three-day-long bad dream?" she asked. "Actually, that does sound really awful."

She took his hand in hers again. "You are acting pretty strange," she managed a smile. "But at least you're alright now. You had me worried sick, you know."

Lily glanced around, and lowered her voice conspiratorially.
"And you'd better tell me what happened later. Not knowing has been driving me completely mental."

Severus nodded and whipped the tears from his eyes. "I will ... just ... not now." He said, not bothering to correct her. Three days? It was over twenty years. "After I get out of here, do you want to go to the library? It's quiet in there and we can talk. We'll just look like we're studying right?" He asked. He really didn't need to study, he'd ace every single on of his exams, blind folded with both arms crossed. But he had to keep up appearances.

Severus wondered if he should be keeping this from Dumbledore. Should he tell him? He knew if he told Dumbledore it would be as good as signing himself into the Order ... he didn't want that. He didn't want to be involved. Not this time around.

Lily nodded. "Sounds like a plan." She smiled slightly. "Maybe we could even get some actual studying in too, while we're at it? OWLs are next week, and you've lost three whole days' worth of studying."

That, and her own concentration hadn't exactly been in peak condition over the past few days, what with her best friend lying unconscious in the Hospital Wing.

If he really was still her best friend... Well, right now, it certainly looked that way. He was acting a little strangely, but... but at the same time... could she really have her Sev back? The Sev who kept secrets with her, rather than from her?

((A/N - And there's chapter 1 - I hope you all enjoyed the intro - and would love it if you could leave a cheeky little review. Takes two seconds ... shows us you appreciate our work ... and that you're enjoying this ... aaaaand you know ... other stuff you want to voice. Anyway I'll stop rambling ... why are you still reading this, go read chapter two ... there's already like ... twenty chapters posted ... go read them ... you're still here ... gooooo ... go now! Okay I'll stop.))