III. Third Fight

The third time Kamui fights Fuuma, nobody throws any punches.

Kamui doesn't like mornings. In fact, Kamui loathes mornings. And Kamui definitely doesn't want to spend any of his fucking mornings on the phone. More specifically, Kamui doesn't ever want to have a dandy little fucking chat on the piece of shit phone with fucking Fuuma at five in the motherfucking morning.

His already dangerous morning mood goes completely black when Nataku prods him awake with the cold end of the receiver.

"Tower group" is all Nataku says before leaving the device lying next to Kamui's head. He knows well enough make haste and be gone.

Kamui grabs the clunky thing with one hand and holds it to his ear. "The fuck do you want?"

"Morning, sunshine!" Fuuma. His shitty-ass field of fucking flowers voice makes Kamui nauseous.

"Go to hell."

"That's not a very nice thing to say first thing in the morning to me-"

"Are you calling to surrender territory?"

"Of course not, my dear-"

"Then I'm hanging up."

"You're like a child, you know."

"Am I though? At least I don't scream like a bitch from a little bite to the back."

Kamui can hear Fuuma taking a deep, barely controlled breath in from his nose, and that improves his mood a slight bit.

"Let's talk a little business," Fuuma says somewhat cordially, "shall we?"

"…no." Kamui moves to hang up again.

"Wait! This might be in your interests, my dear -"

"Call me by my fucking name, or don't call me at all."

"Are you always this salty?" Fuuma is starting to sound exasperated, which is nice.

"Are you always this much of a shit?"

Fuuma sighs. "I'm going to take that as a yes." After a brief pause, during which Kamui figures Fuuma is collecting himself or recharging his bitch-o-meter or whatever, he resumes, "I'm calling to seek a potential temporary truce - "

"Denied."

"- in the face of a mutual enemy."

Kamui once again pauses in his actions to slam the antiquated phone down on its switch hook.

"…which 'mutual enemy'?"

"Ah, I see I have your interest now –" Fuuma responds with a little cheekiness creeping back into his voice.

"Cut the shit. Explain yourself."

"When will you learn that poor language is not the best way to get what you want, my dear?" Dear god, he sounds like the worst kind of smug bastard.

"Well if a truce is what you want, you aren't gonna get it unless you get to the fucking point."

"Fine. We have intel that a large, well-organized group from the North is planning a campaign into the city."

Kamui snorts. "I highly doubt that just a group from the North warrants a truce with a weak-ass group like yours."

"…we have…more intelligence, but I would prefer to discuss the intricacies of this arrangement further in person. And in private."

"What, do you expect me to come marching into your headquarters, expecting a warm welcome and a friendly little chat?" Because all Kamui can really envision is some sort of ill-purposed trap in the middle of hostile territory.

"I'm not so naïve as to suggest that to you. I maintain a room on neutral ground, over in the Amagi buildings. You have my word that I'll come alone."

"Your word isn't worth shit, Fuuma."

"Fine then, you have," Fuuma pauses, "uh…," Kamui hears the shuffle of a chair and some muffled yelling, "there's this lady here – here she is. Karen! You have her word, too." Kamui can hear a high-pitched sound of agreement. "You wouldn't mistrust a lady, would you?"

Fuuma pauses, and Kamui can hear the anticipation through the line. But Kamui smiles warmly as he thinks about Karen in all the worlds that he's met her in. If the Karen here is like anyone of her other selves, then she really, really deserves a better lot than this.

"If Karen swears it," he starts slowly, "then I'll accept."

"I do," she says quietly, but finally loud enough for Kamui to hear it clearly, "I do swear it."

"Great!" Fuuma sounds overenthusiastic and probably a little shell-shocked. "Midday today?"

"If this is a trap, Fuuma, I'll turn you into fucking worm-bait."

"Now now, dearest, there won't be any need for that."

I'm going to be honest here, as an author. I find writing Kamui to be most enjoyable and natural - especially grumpy morning Kamui. I have a deep and soulful connection to his bitchiness, especially when it involves being awake when I'd rather be asleep.

Anyway, please please review! I look so forward to reading reviews. They make me write faster, better and more passionately!