(Disclaimer: I don't own anything but a few fancharacters. Keep it moving, folks.)

Introduction by the Narrator: I Don't Know What You Expected, Baby

"Before we get started, I'd like to take a moment to say a few words about expectations. Expectations are a funny thing. They are like elegant lies that we tell to ourselves, things we convince ourselves are true with no merit behind them. When one has expectations, they have set themselves up for either excitement or disappointment.

If the individual's expectations are exceeded, a state of euphoria ensues. If their expectations are not met, despondency and resentment can quickly take hold.

For this reason, expectations are some of the most dangerous things in all of known space. Only a few things, such as the long-believed mythical element known as Pyonium, could honestly be judged to be more volatile and potentially hazardous.

As for myself, I do my best to keep my expectations as low as possible at all times. While some may believe that this fosters a negative point of view, I believe that it inspires optimism. After all, if you have low expectations, they should be exceeded more often than not, shouldn't they?

With that being said, I must say that I don't think the few expectations that I have as a professional narrator are too much to have. Stories, no matter how inane, can be gotten through with minimal headaches as long as they have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Characters both interesting or not can be put up with, plot or the lack thereof can be borne through, and atmosphere and pacing can be regarded as optional, so long as the tale being told progresses in a somewhat logical fashion.

Which of course brings us to Space Dandy.

To my consternation, it seems that even my minimal expectations are probably far-fetched pipe dreams, born of a delusional mind where Space Dandy is concerned. Why, in all my years of narration, I have never been tasked with anything so ridiculous. This story has no beginning that can be pointed to directly. It has several endings, which don't really fit into any point in the narrative in a way that makes sense with the whole.

Frankly, it seems to be a tangled wad of middle, spanning multiple dimensions, timelines, and perhaps worst of all, reboots.

I simply cannot abide reboots! Why of all the... *ahem* I'm sorry, I went off on a bit of a tangent.

And now the saga of Space Dandy has taken a new twist: fan fictions. This story, in particular, has committed a grievous crime against literature and storytelling, simply by existing.

I've been reading ahead, and it looks like even more of the blatant disregard for narrative flow that the series itself has been exhibiting. Be prepared for multiple alternate universes, author headcanon, author headcanon that flies in the face of established canon, jumps in the timeline, ridiculous superstitions, and even less sense than one would typically expect from Space Dandy.

I'm hoping that my involvement with this mess will be minimal, and that I will be sitting most of this one out with a nice coffee and a piece of coconut cake at this little hole in the fourth wall cafe that I know. I fully expect that this multiverse spanning waste of bandwidth will give me a headache."