Once upon a time, Goddess-chan was bore and so...a one-shot was created. Yeah, this story is written mainly out of boredom. Enjoy our little couple. This is a dramatic one. I'm practicing my writing in this genre for my other story. Read on :)


PITTER PATTER OF THE RAIN

Pitter Patter…

What is this feeling? Why am I doubting 'us'? Is it because of the fact that we seem miles apart even when our shoulders meet? Is it because of how we rarely see each other now? That's not it, right? They say love never dies even by the distance. It still blooms even when apart. That is if love still exists in our hearts-in your heart to be exact. I still love you. It won't stop yet can you tell me the same too now that we're slowly drifting apart? What about 'us'? What happened to our love? Can you still express your feelings to me like how you used to before? Because right now, I reckon you can't do that anymore.

The sky is shining brightly today. The sky's clear. We're sitting side by side as always. You asked me out on a date yet why? Why aren't I feeling the warmth? Maybe I know the answer to that. Maybe it's because of this storm between us. The rain continues to fall in this relationship so loud that it echoes in our hearts informing us of our situation-that we're losing hope in this. Why? Why am I the only one showing hints of being affected by all of these? Don't you care anymore? Can't you see this thing is driving me crazy? Being unable to see through you like how I used to before is driving me crazy. It's getting all the more confusing every passing day of not having the chance to clear things out with you. What's our problem? Are you somehow confused with these too? I'm hoping you are.

Pitter Patter…

"Misaki," you call out to me. Your voice calling my name, it doesn't sound the same anymore. It doesn't feel like music to my ears anymore. Instead, it sounds like torture, like there's something you wanted me to understand but I just couldn't or I just wouldn't. I want to hold on until the last string finally gives in.

"yeah?" I answer. A part of me is hoping you wouldn't notice how I'm hurting so much and another is hoping you will so we could finally settle things out. But if we finally talk things through, will I even like the outcome? I already have the whole picture of what's to come when I bring up the topic of the 'us' today yet I couldn't fathom experiencing it. Maybe that's why I'm being such a masochist nowadays. I'm being a martyr. I'm sacrificing too much just for the sake of holding on. Is it a mistake for loving you this much? Is it a mistake for loving you more than how much you love me? If you ever still love me that is.

Pitter Patter…

"The sun looks pretty today. Don't you think so too?" you started. How? How could you casually say something like that? I know you know how my heart is aching. I know yet how can you continue playing dumb and tell me that with that smile I fell in love with?

"It is." How I wish its light can reach our hearts, Takumi. How I wish it can shine in this relationship to bring it back like how it was the way before thing started crumbling apart.

"Misaki?" Please stop. Please stop making things worse for me. I'm already bleeding. I'm already dying…for you.

"Hmmm…"

"I missed this-spending time with you. I miss the feeling of being close to you knowing how busy we are with work. You, a good lawyer, is always preoccupied with tons of clients and me, being too caught up with all those business deals. Work always gets in the way for both of us." For you, is that the only reason why things are slowly not working out for us? Is that all because to me, there's something more? I know what lines are coming. I know what you're going to say today and no matter how much it pains me, it's reality I have to face. It's a pretty predictable story we're having.

"Yeah. I guess so." I'm thinking. What's the use of lengthening this conversation when all will end badly anyway. That's for me. I wonder how it'll be for you. I guess you'll be fine. It's your decision, right? But why? Why are your words so confusing? Are you really my enemy now or are you still on my side? Where is this going to? You're leaving me, right? Why are you making it harder then? Do you enjoy watching me suffer more first?

Pitter Patter…

Rain. It's raining harder now that we're coming to an end. Like my love for you, it's not stopping. How many tears do I still have to shed every night for it to end? It's not stopping. How many hours do I have to pray for it to end? Please let it end. This rain you have caused. It's slowly washing us away from each other. I'm getting carried by the strong currents of the flood between us. I'm drowning. Would you mind reaching out a hand for me to hold? Or would you rather not?

Pitter Patter…

"Misaki…" Stop calling my name and get to the point already. Stop playing with my feelings. I'm at my limits. Can't you see? I'm losing it bit by bit every second that you're wasting, holding back from telling me your real purpose of asking me out.

"Do you want to say anything? Anything important?" There. That's your stepping stone. Get on with it. I already feel tears about to brim endlessly from the eyes that you used to admire. It made me think, if I cry now, would you comfort me? Would you change your mind of leaving? If so, when I'm in your arms crying, will you be able to hear my heart shouting over to you to stay with me? Would you realize how much I'll lose when you walk away? Would you realize you leaving me seems like my whole world is taken away from me? Would you? I hope you would. Hope, the only thing I could count on to right now.

Pitter Patter…

"Maybe. Would you listen to me if I do have something to say?" Although how much I wanted to say no, I know it'll come anyway. You'll be breaking off away from me anytime soon and I don't have the power to refuse no matter what I do. This is not a drizzle anymore. This is a downpour now. The heavens are aiding you. It's helping you wash me away, wash everything we've been through away. I hope for the best for you anyway. I realized it's no use fighting for you who have already given up. Love left us. No, love left you leaving me behind to love unconditionally without getting loved in return anymore.

Pitter Patter…

"My ears are always open…" No matter how much it'll bleed by your words, it'll always hear you out.

You took a deep breath while I hold mine, preparing for what's to come. We both need courage at the moment. You need it to break up with me and I need it to hold myself together in the process. But you do know I can't hear properly. Not with this ceasing rain, as if being sneering, continues to strike me even more. I'll lose you when it stops, right? I got to let you go eventually. But do you mind letting it rain longer? I want to be with you for a few more hours before I start walking the road of life again with the idea of having you no more. Sun will shine then for us, I hope. There it is again. I'm hoping more. Anyway, they do say that through the rain there's a brighter day. I guess that helped ease the pain a little but it still can't mend the broken heart I'm about to have. Let the rain pour then. Let it pour the more.

"What's happening to us?" you managed to continue our conversation. What's happening you ask? I'm sure you know clearly what's happening. Why do you need to hear it from me? Are you having fun making me more miserable? Because I'm not…

Pitter Patter…

Yes, continue raining. If this rain means washing me away from you then maybe, just maybe it can also wash away my pain.

"You know as well as I do what's happening."

"I don't like any of these Misaki." Don't. Don't say things like that. Don't make me hold on to you more when I am already ready to let you go. Don't make things harder, please.

"Don't like what?" You don't like me holding on? Then what do you like? Me being the one to break things up? Is that it?

Pitter Patter…

Now I'm wondering if that water dripping are still rain or are they the tears overflowing from my aching heart.

"I don't like what's happening to us. What's wrong? Are you getting tired of me?" Me, getting tired of you? I think that question is meant for you and not me. How could I get tired of you when I'm the one holding on dearly? Maybe getting tired of fixing things between us but never getting tired of being with you.

"H-how could you say t-that?" I'm breaking. I don't want to cry from my eyes. Not just yet. Let my heart do that but not my face. I don't want you seeing me being so affected. It might look like I'm so desperate of not letting you go. You want to be free, right? Then fly even if it meant leaving me here on the ground.

"We're drifting apart. I thought maybe you've had it with me already."

"Aren't I supposed to be the one to say that?" It's now or never. If he's planning to put the blame on me for our break up well, I won't allow that. I have to protect my pride because that's all that will be left of me after this. It's him who wants to end everything so it should only be right if it's him who'll feel guilty.

"What?"

"Takumi…" I whispered. It's getting hard getting to the main point especially when I'm breaking apart each second. "If you want to say it, just go ahead and do it. I'm fine with your decision whatever it is. What makes you happy makes me happy too." At last, I finally said it along with a bitter smile I never knew I was capable of giving someone until now. He never fails to bring out random things from me no matter what the circumstances are.

Pitter Patter…

I guess the rain grieves with me for my broken heart.

"What are you saying?" Stop acting innocent already. That's enough. I already told you I'll understand, didn't I? What's stopping you?

"You…you've changed. You're not the Takumi I know before, the Takumi who would embrace me lovingly, who would kiss me tenderly, who would laugh to me effortlessly, who would tease me oddly. It's like you're different now-like I don't know the real you anymore. You've put up a wall between us, a wall that I can't break through no matter how much I try that in the end, I'll only end up leaning against it, hopeless. Also, you've created this storm in our relationship and it's washing me away from you, slowly, painfully."

Pitter Patter…

I hope this rain got in his way of hearing those things clearly. At least during our last day, I don't want to look weak. After all the years we've been through, I've never showed him this much emotion until now. Does it make him want to leave me more?

"Misaki…" Stop it with all the cliffhangers already. Just spit it out. Tell me already that you want to break up with me. I'll be fine. I promise. Just admit the fact that you don't feel the same way as before. Honesty is all I need now.

"I know what you want."

"You do?"

"If ever we get to see each other after this day, you'd still say hi, right? You'd still acknowledge my presence even if you're already seeing someone new, right? You won't treat me like I'm not there."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I still want to be friends after we're through."

You chuckle. No, you laughed…hard. You're laughing. I'm being serious. Why is that? Is everything just a sick joke to you? Do I look funny?

Pitter Patter…

Wait, why is the rain slowing down? Pour. Pour even more…for me. I don't want to part yet.

"Usui?" I asked, confused all the more. What is wrong with you? Why aren't you taking things earnestly? This is a crucial moment for me, for you, for both of us yet why are you laughing 'til your hearts content?

You didn't answer me. Instead, you caged me in those arms of yours for an embrace. Why? Why are you doing this? What are you up to?

Pitter Patter…

That's it, the last raindrop.

Does this mean we're through? Is that why you're hugging me? To hold me for one last time? Well, I guess I better make this moment memorable then.

I wrapped my arms around your neck in response. You were shocked at first before you relaxed and pulled me closer as if you don't want to let go or is it just my imagination?

"You'd honestly think I'd let you go?"

What's that? A whisper? Your whisper? Am I hearing right? You're not breaking up with me. Is that it? I'm hoping it is.

"Hmmm?"

"I'm never letting you go, Misaki. You're mine and mine alone. Who knows if I leave you, some pervert might take advantage."

"You say pervert as if you're not one," I replied after a short chuckle. I'm happy. It's so sudden. All those cracks in my heart that's building up through those weeks we're drifting apart, mended themselves after hearing those words from you. Was I wrong to think you're breaking up with me all along? I guess so. This isn't a joke, right? You're serious with what you've said.

Where's the rain? It's gone, all in a blink of an eye.

"Now that's my Misaki." You broke free from the hug and grabbed me by the shoulders, staring deep into my eyes, into my soul. That's one of your exceptional talents, seeing through me perfectly. "I'm sorry I made you think that I've given up on us when in fact, all along, I was thinking of ways to tell you how much I still cared. I love you and that will never change. Remember that. And from now on, I swear to the heavens above that I'll do everything to stop you from doubting 'us' again. You hear me?"

A nod was all I managed to give as the tears I've been holding back for a while now grew impatient and flew carelessly down my face. My tears are overflowing. Now, it wasn't because of the heartaches but rather because of the bliss welling up inside my whole being. Like before, you kissed them all away. Again, after those few torturing weeks, I'm finally relieved. I finallt managed to breathe evenly again. That's when I told myself that I got pretty assuming. It was me who's at fault all along. It was me who wasn't able to see through you properly to notice that you were still the Takumi I love and will love forever. I was jumping to the conclusion that you've given up on our relationship after seeing you're too busy with work every time that I never saw how troubled you are with all my incorrect doubting. It wasn't you all along. It was me. It was me who brought those dark heavy clouds. It was me who triggered the rain in the first place. It was me who let my own self suffer. It was me who was blind. It was all me yet I threw everything at you. I put the blame on you. I was the selfish one. I pictured myself the one who's suffering the most when I was the one who caused it in the first place and I dragged you along with it. Those pitter patters I've been hearing that I thought were my tears. They were all not mine all along. Some were yours, reaching out to me, hoping I'll notice how much you're suffering too.

"I love you, Misaki," you repeated and after those crazy battles in my head, I mustered the words that are rightfully needed to be said after what I've done.

"I'm sorry for causing you pain, Takumi. I love you too and I always will. Let's not experience rain again. Let's walk in sunshine, hand in hand."


Huhuhuhuh T_T - tears of joy

I finally wrote another one-shot! This time, I tried drama with a mix of hurt and comfort. I know I suck at it so yeah, at least I did my best. Comment and tell me how bad/good I did. I want to know your opinion about it. Was I able to make you understand the whole situation? If not, then feel free to poison me. Kidding aside. As you know, this story's posted so I can promote my second multi-chaptered story, Rollercoaster of Hearts. Hahaha, I'm quite clever. If you have time, please do check it out. ^_^