Back to the Start

Summary: In the destruction, the only way to enjoy life was to remember happy memories of the good days before everything turned sour. But she was doing more than remembering - she was going to fix everything.

Nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard

It was foggy and gross on the deserted, broken streets. Nothing betrayed signs of light except for the sound of hurried footsteps on broken pavement. A figure raced through the flaming rubble, though the destroyed buildings, through the fallen city. Smoke flew up into the sky behind the figure and the city, and silent, small flames revealed the city, which had not a single building that was not damaged or stable in any way. The walls of old buildings fell onto streets, dirt and small stone littering the paths.

Fire also revealed the only one alive in the area. Sandals, a black clock, pale skin, flowing blonde hair. The person, a young woman, ran through the city looking desperately side to side. She called out people's names - ones forgotten to most memories, ones that would never be uttered again, ones of people who were gone forever.

No one replied.

The woman stopped near what at a first glance looked like a river, but was really a canal. The water was so dirty and so filled with parts of old buildings that it was not sanitary or a pretty sight. Down the grimy river floated trash and the building parts as well as an old, beat up teddy bear that had once belonged to a child. The blonde woman hesitated, eyes filling with tears as she stared at the stuffed animal before turning around and facing the faded sign. Most of it was unreadable, but the woman already knew what it said.

She walked slowly down the street, closing her eyes and imaging to be full of people, walking back in forth through the sunny day and enjoying good times. She could almost hear them - but when the brown eyes opened again, the people were gone.

Crossing over a bridge and going down a street, the woman emerged in front of a large church. Imposing, the gray building still stood strong except for a few fallen towers and holes in the gray stone walls. It still stood over the graveyard that had not been touched except for the dead grass and a couple of destroyed gravestones. The blonde woman fell to her knees when reading the intact gravestones. They were slightly worn, but she could still read them as if she had memories them.

They all ended on the same year.

One was missing all of the letters of the name except for e, z, r, l, and t. The woman ran her fingers over the grave, doing the same with another that only had the letters g, y, f, and two l's, and another with w, d, y, and m. She knew what they meant, and she knew their names. Erza Scarlet, Gray Fullbuster, and Wendy Marvell.

The blonde woman went to other graves, paying her respects. The later the month or day read on the gravestone, the worse the stone was, as if hurriedly made. The read Makarov Dreyar, Laxus Dreyar, Cana, Mirajane Strauss, Elfman Strauss, and so on. There were two gravestones right next to each other, both reading Lissana Strauss, but with two different dates of death on them.

One grave was not real, as she had gone to Edolas for a short time. The real Lissana Strauss was buried in the second.

While she could read some of them, others were from earlier times, where people had died of sickness or old age. Usually peacefully, unlike the ways that her loved ones had died. The blonde woman did not know those people, but she envied all of the dead. They did not have to endure what she did. They did not have to do what she did to survive. But these people buried were the lucky ones of her friends and loved ones. The rest's bodies were either lost - missing, unable to recover, or whose owners had died towards the end of the war, when there was no time to bury dead bodies but only to gather resources and fight.

"I came again, to meet all of you," the woman said, addressing her dead friends. "I'm here to tell you I'm sorry... you don't know how badly I needed to find you..."

For a good hour she stayed in a sitting position, talking to the deceased.

"I'll tell you my secrets," she said. "Ask me your questions."

As she talked - her voice was rushed, low, as if worried that someone would find her - she started to break down. Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes, her lips trembling as she talked. She finally broke out into a full sob, shaking her head in despair.

"I don't understand...why did this happen to us? Did we deserve this?" she cried, one hand covering her eyes. "I don't understand! I don't understand!" her voice grew to a shriek as she stood up.

"I... this... it's too much for me to handle on my own." She stood up, the cloak swishing to the side and revealing one badly burnt leg and another with several scratches on it. She quickly fixed it with one hand.

"Of course... I knew it would never be easy... but I did'n't know it would be as hard as this is..." she said softly. "How do I deal with widespread tragedy?"

She knew she wasn't coming back there, to that city. There was no point, and she couldn't bring it in her to visit the old headquarters or see her old friends again.

She was guessing at her path - there was no map - so every once and a while she would search for signs or draw a map in the dirt. For a few days, she traveled through wilderness until she emerged in another town. It was also broken, and there were no survivors that she could find.

Still, she searched. The only things she found were dead cities. Every once and a while, there would be food.

Traveling was like a puzzle, or a science. Still, she was making progress as she headed to her destination. She had only one in mind, and it was set. She would make it there. She would not die - she would make it there, alive, and she would survive to see the place she wanted to go to. Still, everything hurt. It hurt the woman to walk, talk, think, cry, eat. Everything she did was to hold back a tear. Everything she did brought back memories that appealed to her heart.

They haunted her. They were everywhere. Erza was sharpening her sword in the hotel that the blonde woman took refuge in. Gray was looking for clothes that would hopefully stay on in the thrift shop the woman had searched for supplies in. Wendy was sitting on the broken fountain, playing with water without a care in the world, innocent through her eyes.

But there were more people, too, not just her close friends. The whole of her friends, and everyone she talked to. Mirajane and Lissana were gossiping in the mostly-destroyed coffee shop. Cana was hanging out with Elfman in the broken down bar. Laxus argued with his grandfather as they walked down the street, yet there was good humor in their eyes. Warren, Nab, Laki, and Max were talking together, Alzack and Bisca with their daughter.

All gone.

All gone, forever.

All gone, forever, and never to come back or talk to her again.

The blonde woman punched the closest wall to her - not a smart move, and not an action that she would usually do, but one that she acted out in grief. Everything she did wrenched her heart as they haunted her.

She felt like she was running in circles it had been a month since she had seen those gravestones, and she was lost. She had no idea where she was, or which way to go, but kept plowing on further. It could take years, and yet she would still keep walking. Everyday, she would write shakily in her journal with one hand. She would describe her horrific experiences.

Each entry ended with a different question. Did we deserve this? Are those missing dead, or still alive? Why can't I find anyone? Am I safe? How are my friends? When can I see my friends?

When will I die?

Sometimes, she thought about her old personality. Maybe not cocky, but a bit vain. She was always sure that they would win, no matter what the odds, and there was nothing that would ever go wrong for them. They were young and invincible. But the woman had learned one fateful day that there was no such thing as "invincible". Everyone would lose at least once in their life, and that last defeat was usually a loss of life. Her old self would resurface every once and a while, but her broken self had a stronger grip. There was no coming back to the old self.

Another week passed. It had seemed like forever - in reality, it had only been a bit more than a few months. It was the same bleak atmosphere. Fire, destruction, trashed buildings. At one end was what looked like a broken cliff, with a colosseum, and in the middle was a large, once beautiful castle. Everything was ugly, now, broken, scarred, and ugly.

The woman kept walking forward, doing the usual scan. She called out the names of people that she did not know the fates of, but found no one.

"Evergreen?" the woman had gone missing halfway through the war. "Gajeel?" The woman was sure that he was dead, as he had been gravely injured last time she saw him - on the very first day, actually - but she still tried. "Juvia?" Juvia had disappeared when Gray died. "Levy?" Levy had been missing for a long time, since the day the war started. There was never any news or reports of Levy during the war. She had been proclaimed dead right away, but everyone still held hope.

No one replied.

The deserted city told a story of a war with creatures - humans versus some strange monster or more. The humans had lost, and there had been only one known survivor.

Scurrying behind a large boulder that used to be part of a wall of a museum, the woman winced when she heard a loud bellow of one of those monsters. There were one thousand dragons released onto the war, unleashing chaos and destruction. Only a few were dead, killed by lucky mages that had not survived long afterwards. Maybe, in other countries, they had lived and had killed all of the dragons that had invaded. The blonde woman doubted it, as she felt that there would be a sign - something - to tell her that she was not alone in this world.

As for humans, she knew she was not. There was at least one other human, one controlling the beasts that had stolen her family away from her. But he was out of the question. She would keep search until she found another human.

Natsu...

He was dead. He was the worst death of all. Not only was he her best friend, but he had died saving her life. One large dragon was about to kill her, but he had jumped to her rescue. He had told her to run, that he would fight the creature, but she had stayed. He had died because of her, and that was what made his death the worst to bear.

His body was never found.

"Run, Lucy! Get away from here! I'll take care of this dragon and get back to the rest!" he had said.

"No, Natsu. We'll fight together," she'd replied.

But before they had a chance to fight together, when Natsu was doing what would be considered the first blow, the dragon had struck.

"NATSU!"

It was foggy and gross on the deserted, broken world, and she was all alone without Natsu, Gray, Erza, Wendy, or anyone. But she wanted to fix everything, so without hesitating like before, she ran forward. There was a shout from a dragon, alerting her that they knew she was not alone. She was chased through the large city as she headed towards the center. After a few minutes of ducking between alleys and dodging fire or whatever else was thrown at her, the blonde woman was in the large, ruined castle. She glanced behind her to see that she had lost the dragon chasing her.

It took only seconds for her to find the hall with the large door - better known as the Eclipse Gate, the gateway to the past.

It was her key to fix everything.

She would sacrifice her life in the future to return to the past. No one said it was easy for a sacrifice, but to her this was the best choice. And an easy one, as there was not much for her to leave behind. It was a shame she was leaving her real time - but what was there more to do in that world? What else could she do?

Then there was a roar. Quickly turning around, the woman realized that the dragon had not lost her - no, it had gone back for reinforcements. The man calling himself Rogue stood on top of his biggest and most prized dragons.

"Another human?" he said with a wide smirk. "I thought I'd gotten rid of them all."

"You'll never be able to fully exterminate every human," she replied, picking up a long stick as her only weapon. It wasn't much, but it showed Rogue that she was not going down without a fight.

"You may be right..." the black and white haired man said. "However, every other country is destroyed. Most humans are dead, and I'm not alone. Nine hundred and ninety three dragons should complete the job, don't you think?"

Seven dragons. Humanity had only been able to kill seven dragons. She wanted to laugh at the irony - the number seven seemed to be Fairy Tail's lucky number. The dragon slayer's dragons had disappeared on July 7th. They had slept on the island for seven years. There were seven known dragon slayers, and Seven Kin of Purgatory.

"What made you like this, Rogue?" she asked. "I saw you at the Grand Magic Games, seven years ago." Another seven, she realized, but pushed it away to the back of her mind. "You wanted to have a guild full of friends, and work towards a better future."

"You don't need to know," the man replied, stiffening. "You only need to... die."

With that, the dragon he was riding on shot forward, towards the woman. Scrambling to the side, she started to run towards the Eclipse Gate and pulled the lever to open it. A large portal was revealed as the doors opened.

"I hope... it's at the right time," she muttered as she ran forward. The room seemed to light up around her as she ran what seemed to be an impossibly long distance towards the doors. The woman looked from side to side in surprise.

My friends...

She saw Erza's smile, Wendy supporting a cheerful grin, Gray with a smirk, and Natsu with his toothy grin, Cana's drunk smile, Mirajane's beaming face, and more. They seemed to push her to run faster, farther, as she ran to her goal. It was everyone she missed - Evergreen and Gajeel were there as well - everyone except for only one person.

Levy McGarden was absent. With a smile, the woman was filled with hope. Levy would probably find more survivors easily, as she still had her magic while the blonde woman had lost what was needed to preform hers. Levy would survive, no matter how torn up she was. The blue haired woman would lead the rebellion as the yellow haired woman worked to change the future.

Behind her, she heard Rogue shout something, but she couldn't hear. She put a hand towards the open gate as she was only a foot away from the large doors, which was shining a bright light.

"The bright light towards my future..."

The hand went through, feeling as if it was being dipped in a warm, gooey liquid. She quickly put a foot in - and stepped into the portal, leaving the Dragon King and his dragon behind. The gates shut, the lever returning to normal. Rogue would not get a glimpse of the time she was returning to as the coordinates shifted back to the present date.

With a scream of rage eerily similar to his dragon's own, Rogue leaped off his 'steed' and rushed forward. Except it was too late for him, while it was not too late for her.

She was going back, and she was going to do everything in her power.

It wouldn't be hard. She would look up at the sky, and see bright blue instead of the dark, smoke and fire filled clouds. It would bring back memories, time traveling, memories she had almost forgotten in the bad times. She wanted to go back to the better days, the good years, the ones where the only care was to find and pick a mission so she could pay her rent. And she would see her friends again - she could not stop the tears when thinking about it. She would see her friends again, and they would be alive instead of spirits. She was returning to the old times.

Lucy was going back to the start.

Stop writing angsty one-shots, Kit-Cat, they keep making you sad.

Please review telling me what you think!