Call Noah, We Need an Ark

"Yeah, Del. I'll check the cultures," Cosima chattered into the phone, swiping her badge along the scanner. She dragged the door lab door open. "I'm sure they're perfectly fine. I'll see you when you - Shit!"

"Cosima?" Delphine shouted through the phone. "Cosima? What's happened?"

"Ha, our lab is busted, man. There's, like, three inches of water on the floor in here. Call Noah – tell him to bring the ark."

"What?"

"Dude, looks like our windows leak. Must have happened during that monster storm last night. Guess that's what we get for being underground, huh?"

"Is the equipment alright? The cultures? Cosima! The cultures!"

"Breathe, friend, breathe. Everything's fine. Just a bit, you know, swampy."

Delphine swore under her breath and began to rant. Cosima could hear her pacing the small apartment. She caught snippets of English through the rapid-fire French.

"Cheapskate…promise you a lab… I ought to pluck every stray hair out of that…. if anything happened to those cultures…. sabotage…Neolution that, you bald…"

This continued on for two minutes, until Cosima was huddled against the lab door, shaking, trying desperately to mute her laughter. Nothing amused her more than a willowy French woman consumed by righteous anger.

When she caught her breath, Cosima finally interrupted the stream of profanity coming through the phone. "Delphine! Del! Hold up a sec there, kid."

"Cosima!" Delphine protested. "This could have ruined everything. I bet he did this on purpose. I'm leaving now. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"Hun, the windows are leaky. It's not a mass conspiracy."

"But –"

"Nope, zip it. My turn to talk. First, I'm going to call the janitor. Fritz owes me one; he'll get this sorted out."

Delphine grunted, suppressing the need to continue ranting.

"Second, I'm getting the hell outta this joint. We're playing hooky. Meet me in the park in twenty. Bring ice cream. No, wait! Bring a kite! No, wait! Books! No! A picnic! A scooter! A skateboard!" She bubbled, bouncing on her toes and making small waves in the ocean that had consumed the lab. Her hands started to twirl enthusiastically. "No, wait! Bring a puppy!"

Delphine gave a reluctant snort of laughter. "Cosima –"

"No, wait!" Cosima interrupted. "We don't have a puppy! How on earth don't we have a puppy? Let's get a puppy today!"

Delphine, practically on fire two minutes prior, dissolved into a fit of giggles. Cosima smiled, satisfied with a mission accomplished, and surveyed the soupy set of lab equipment in front of her.

"Joking aside," she said, pulling the door shut behind her and heading down the hall, "I better hang up and call Fritz. Or we're gonna need two puppies, two elephants, two unicorns…."