The Littlest Leprechaun Or That Time It Was All Daniels' Fault

Chapter One: Somewhere Over the Rainbow

A/N: Hello! A long hiatus, I'm sorry. But it's summer again which means more time to write! I actually wrote this for St. Patricks' Day 2013, but it never got posted. So, better late than never! This is a ridiculous piece of…I don't really know what. Nothing serious, just good fun!

Enjoy!

Sam, Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c all stood just a little ways from the Stargate, staring out at the landscape in front of them.

"Um…is anyone else seeing this?" Jack turned to look at his second, who looked equally confused. Never a good sign.

"Yes, sir." Her eyes were sweeping over the planet, trying to make sense of what her visual cortex was telling her.

"Daniel?" Jack turned to the archaeologist.

"Yep." He had taken his glasses off and was busily wiping them off on his shirt. Also not a good sign.

"T?" A small plea had entered the colonel's voice as he turned to his last hope.

"I have never before seen anything like this, O'Neill." Teal'c's face was a mask of Jaffa confusion. Really, really not a good sign.

"So…what should we do?" Jack looked back at Sam who gave him a look that clearly said, 'That's your job, sir.' Jack sighed, eyeing his surroundings. "It's just creepy." He shuddered slightly.

"I don't know, Jack. It's kind of…" Daniel trailed off, gesturing with his hand.

"Pretty." Sam finished.

Jack rolled his eyes, looking forward. The grass was up to his knees and so green it almost hurt to look at. But that wasn't the off-putting part. As far as the eye could see rainbows arced high into the sky. Huge, full, radiant rainbows. Some of them ended so close to the Stargate, Jack was tempted to reach out and touch them.

But he knew Carter would lecture him about water droplets and diffraction and blah, blah, blah. So he kept his hands at his sides. For now.

And it wasn't like the over abundance of rainbows really bothered him. Maybe it was just a really rainy planet. Like a rainforest without the forest part. No, it was the strange twittering that seemed to be emanating from the ground.

"Carter…can plants talk?" Jack eyed the grass warily, hand resting casually on his P-90.

Sam's stiffened slightly. "Sir?"

"I mean, I know you talk to your plants, so…" He grinned as she shot him a look. "I was wondering if they ever talk back."

"No, sir." She replied through gritted teeth, still polite, but enough edge to let him know she was not amused. Daniel coughed behind her and she turned in time to see him smother a smile.

"O'Neill." Teal'c's voice brought Jack back to the present. He had been thinking how cute Carter looked when she got huffy, but he quickly cleared his throat and his wandering mind.

"Teal'c?" He sensed the undercurrent of alarm in the big man's voice.

"Is the grass ahead stirring?" Jack, Sam, and Daniel all turned to where he was indicating. And it was, indeed, stirring.

"All right, hold positions. Maybe whoever it is doesn't know that we're-,"

But Daniel cut across him. "Hello? My name is Daniel Jackson. We're from a planet called Earth—we're explorers!"

Jack grimaced and squeezed his eyes closed briefly. That man…"Daniel. Shut. Up." Jack growled over his shoulder, his full attention on the moving grass in front of them. It had paused when Daniel first addressed it, but was now speeding towards them. "Carter!"

"Already on it, sir." Sam raised her zat and fired once into the thicket. A high-pitched squeal followed by even higher-pitched twittering followed. But the quality of sound had changed. It was almost like…laughter?

Jack opened his mouth to admonish Daniel when a little shape shot out of the grass and straight up into the air. Right in front of them a rainbow formed, colors blazing high into the sky. The little figure landed on soft feet right in front of Teal'c.

Without hesitation, Teal'c pointed his staff weapon down—way down. The little thing squeaked and ducked into the grass. Jack blinked in surprise, then jumped when Carter let out a little sound of alarm and twisted away from where she'd been standing. He was about to call out to her when something tickled his calf.

Jack jumped away and fired another zat blast. More laughter. He whirled to Daniel, ready to blame this all on him when he froze. There, standing lightly on the younger man's shoulder was…another man.

A very tiny, very green man. With the most mischievous smile Jack had ever seen. Daniel's eyes widened when he saw Jack's expression. "Jack?" The man's voice was tight and Jack knew that he knew something was wrong.

Occupied with their own miniature menaces, Sam and Teal'c didn't notice the little man just chilling on Daniels' shoulder until it was too late. "Daniel!" Sam shouted, but it was too late. The last thing any of them heard was tiny laughter rioting through the grass.

TBC