Parental Follies

Summary: It might have taken her two decades longer than most, but Emma was now realizing the truth all children know…parents are embarrassing. Or how Snow and Charming act like usual parents in an unusual town: A study in five parts.

A/N: Hey there everyone, here's a new small multi-chapter fic for you all. Inspired by an article I recently read about the things most kids find embarrassing about their parents, this is part introspection, part family bonding and a whole dollop of humour (I hope!).

As always, feedback is much appreciated and the next chapter should hopefully be up by the weekend.

Disclaimer: OUAT and all of its characters belong to ABC…all I own is a sense of impatience waiting for the Once-inspired iPad cover I just ordered to arrive.

Chapter One: P.D.A

During her high school years, Emma had lingered on the periphery of a group of social outcasts. The closest she had to friends, they comprised of the students who were too weird, too unusual, too different to fit into any of the main social cliques. One of the girls, a rather sweet yet homely brunette named Sarah, had never really complained about anything…except her parents. High school sweethearts still happily married twenty years on, they had a startling propensity for acts of physical displays of affection in public…something which had embarrassed their daughter to no end.

At the time, Emma hadn't understood Sarah's constant complaints. In fact, she had slightly resented the girl for decrying her parents for something as simple as still being madly in love when Emma would have given almost anything to have parents at all.

Now though?

Now she wished she could go back in time (again) and tell Sarah she completely understood her pain.

She'd always known her parents were physically affectionate. At first though, with the still fresh memories of a heartbroken Mary Margaret in her mind, she'd merely been happy that the woman who had been her first true friend in years was finally together with the man she loved. The fact that they were also her parents hadn't really registered. Even when she and Henry had accidently walked in on them, her reaction had been more shock than anything else. But now, with her new found realization of her place within their family and her full recognition of their parental roles, a sense of bemused discomfiture had begun to set in.

The hand-holding she could write off as cute, the occasional heated exchange of gazes proof of their connection, the small chaste kisses adorable even…but this? This was too much.

Here they were, fighting a horde of unknown magical creatures conjured by a disgruntled former sorceress (one who'd taken exception to being once again ripped from the Enchanted Forest) and her parents were…flirting. With abandon.

"Remind you of anything sweetheart?!" Snow called out, loosing another arrow directly into the chest of the nearest approaching creature which exploded into a cloud of dust.

David grunted, dodging nimbly out of the way of another creature, bringing his sword up to decapitate it as it charged past.

"Oh, only the hundred other times we've been in this situation," he replied with a grin before his eyes widened with shock. Ducking, he narrowly avoided one of Snow's arrows as it sailed past and struck the monster who'd been charging up behind him.

"I was talking about me saving your life…again," she called out cheekily. Seconds later, she found herself leaping to the side as one of the daggers David had tucked into his belt whizzed through the air to impale the creature about to attack her.

"Funny, I seem to remember it the other way around!" he shouted gleefully, winking wickedly in her direction.

"Of course you do, the amount of times you've been struck in the head," she teased, leaping straight back into the fray. She had missed this…the adrenalin, the excitement…sometimes, now being a settled mom, she'd needed the reminder of the adventurous woman she had once been.

"Hey!" David protested, sword swinging constantly in a deadly arc, "Most of those times were at your hand if I recall correctly."

"Mmm, I'm sure I can make you remember it my way later with a little…persuasion…"

David's retort was lost to the wind when another loud yell echoed across the road.

"Mom! Dad! Fight now, flirt later!"

Emma's voice was filled with exasperation and weariness as she directed another blast of magic outwards from her hands.

The two in question merely grinned, but mercifully fell silent except for the occasional shout of warning or frustration.

After what seemed like an eternity of combatting an endless wave of mindless, terrifying creatures, the last fell to Snow's final arrow. With the sorceress contained by Regina and Gold's magic, the others who had contributed their skills to the battle set about cleaning wounds and trudging back towards their homes to clean the copious amounts of the creatures' ashes from their dirtied skin.

Emma, searching around, felt a faint stab of panic when she couldn't spot her parents amongst the departing crowd. Knowing they would not have left without checking in with her first, she started to search around the surrounding area.

Seeing Ruby out of the corner of her eye, helping a slightly limping Leroy, she hurried over.

"Hey, have either of you seen my parents?"

For a moment she got blank stares in return, before Leroy let out a low chuckle.

"You don't think…" Ruby started, looking down at the smirking dwarf.

"Oh yeah, I do," he grunted.

"What?"

"Well," Ruby started reluctantly, though a small knowing grin made itself known on her lips, "After many of the battles we fought to reclaim their kingdoms, Snow and David would disappear for a while then return somewhat more…disheveled than when they left."

"One time they came back soaking wet…tried to tell us they both accidently fell into a river while trying to clean a wound on Snow's hand…a wound which was barely visible," Leroy added with gruff amusement.

Now it was Emma's turn to stare blankly for a minute, before her cheeks lightly pinked and she rested her hand against her forehead with a sigh. Add sneaking off like a pair of teenagers to the list of things she couldn't write off as cute.

"Of course they did," she finally murmured before shaking her head, "You know what…forget I asked….in fact, forget this conversation ever happened."

She turned, striding off while trying to rid herself of the mental image Ruby and Leroy had just painted, murmuring under her breath all the while.

"I sure as hell will…"