Disclaimer: All characters and locations belong to Fresh Tv, Teletoon, Cartoon Network, or whoever owns these rights. However, all OC's belong to me as do any original ideas found in this story...so don't steal them...I'm serious...you have been warned!

This story is rated T for innuendos, cartoon violence, and mild cursing. There will be spoilers for all five seasons of Total Drama, so you have been warned. And just a reminder, do not try any of what you read at home. You could get really messed up.

~A/N~ Hey all, I'm Foreseer44, and thanks for checking out my new competition fic for Total Drama. This season revolves around twelve past contestants and four newcomers competing for a budgeted prize of $100,000 on a new island following the season five finale. Feel free to R&R, and don't hold back on criticism (no flaming though). I can't perfect this story without feedback and need your advice to make it as perfect as it can be.

As the warm sun rose above the calm and cold island, the 'host with the most' casually strolled along the wide and barren beachfront. His brown cargo pants and signature teal shirt ruffled in the breeze, and his wind-blown hair reflected the rays of light that shined from the horizon. The host stared into the rising sun, where a small yacht slowly approached the deserted island, riding the waves towards its destination. With a flashy smile and his notorious attitude, the sadistic host spoke to the lone cameraman by his side.

"Welcome, Total Drama fans, I'm Chris McLean, and it's time for another season! Following our fifth season, I decided that instead of heading straight into another cast of victims, it would be far more satisfying to give our old casts one more spin. And by spin, I mean participation in our deadliest season yet!"

"This time, we're bringing back a few campers who never really got a chance to shine, either because they were either eliminated too soon in the game, or because they just suck. In addition to these past contestants are four surprise newcomers. Each of these new contestants were supposed to compete in a past season, but dropped out due to personal reasons. Together, these contestants will fight their way through challenges, harsh weather, disgusting food, and each other, to win the grand prize of $100,000. Why such a small prize you ask? Well, the budget's gone, and we're saving up for our next season, which we guarantee will blow you away. But until that day comes, sit back, break out those snacks , and get ready for... Total!...Drama!...Return of the Underdogs!"

(Theme song plays)

"We're back, and now, let's introduce our past contestants, aka, our current victims!" said Chris with a signature smile as the yacht stopped a hundred yards from shore. The host grabbed a megaphone from his pudgy intern and turned up the volume.

"From our original cast, welcome witty know-it-all, Noah!"

A visibly irritated Chef Hatchet, cloaked in a navy blue captain's suit, emerged from the ship, carrying the bookworm by the collar of his sweater-vest. With a single movement of his arm, the burly co-host sent Noah flying off the bow of the yacht. Noah let out a hilariously feminine yelp as he fell into the cold water below. When he reached the surface, Noah began to chew out the host on the beach.

"I told you that I was never coming back! You said my contract had expired last year, McLean!"

Ignoring the angered brainiac, whose comments were inaudible due to great distance between the him and the host, Chris introduced the next contestant.

"Next up is non-athletic athlete, Tyler!"

Chef didn't have to drag the red-clad dare-devil out of the cabin, as Tyler was already making a mad dash towards the bow. When he reached the very tip of the yacht, Tyler leapt over the side, bellowing a massive battle cry.

"Extreme!" yelled the jock as he fell through the air. However, Tyler's fall was cut short when he landed 'kiwis-first' on a rock that jutted out of freezing water. Tyler slowly slid off of the rock and into the water with a high-pitched groan as Noah glared at him with an unimpressed glint in his eye. Tyler resurfaced and grabbed the rock with his muscular hands.

Chris continued. "BFFF's Katie and Sadie! What those F's stand for, I will never know!"

Katie and Sadie, eager to compete after four seasons, needed no escort from Chef. They ran to the front of the boat and let out one of their annoying squeals, causing Noah, Tyler, and Chef to slam their hands over their ears.

"No Sadie, you should totally jump first!" squeaked Katie.

"No, it should so be you!" replied the chubby BFFF.

Chef, having had enough of their chattering, said "Why don't ya' both jump," and shoved them off of the boat. Katie landed next to Noah, barely missing the brainiac's precious head, but Sadie's aim was much more precise. With a huge splash, Sadie crashed into a wide-eyed Noah, sinking them both below the waves. When they resurfaced, Sadie calmly laughed.

"Sorry Noah."

"Yeah, sorry," the shivering bookworm mumbled.

"Next is Total Drama's resident eye candy, Justin!" said Chris with a dreamy tone, emphasis on 'Justin.'

"Wait!" shouted Justin as Chef dragged him over to the bow. " Not the face, hands, abs, butt, or pecs!"

Chef, annoyed by Justin's selfishness, flung the male model into the water head first. As Justin regained his focus, he found himself next to Katie and Sadie, who couldn't resist hugging the hot Hawaiian.

"Don't worry Justin," said Sadie. " I'll keep you warm."

Katie gasped. "Wait, who said you could keep him warm."

"I did," the chubby BFFF replied. " Isn't that right, Justin?"

"Ladies, don't fret over my warmth." Justin calmly said. "My naturally hot body is all the warmth I need."

This comment brought the attention of Noah, who gagged at Justin's cocky tone. "Wow, I can feel it warming me up already. I'm just surprised that your cold-as-ice heart hasn't frozen you solid yet," said the brainiac with a hint of sarcasm.

"What's wrong egghead?" retorted Justin. "Are you jealous of all this attention I'm getting from the ladies?"

"As if. Relationships are a waste of time, and just to give you a heads up, smart is the new sexy, so your schtick has run its course."

"Whatever you say."

"Same here, anti-me."

Chef had finally retrieved the last classic camper from the cabin. The campers in the water looked above themselves when they heard the sound of wheels.

"Last and probably least," chuckled Chris. "Is the iron woman herself, Eva."

Chef exited the cabin with a restrained Eva. With her hands and feet tied to a dolly and her face covered by a human muzzle, she was unrecognizable to the cast. Chef cautiously removed the rope that bound her hands with a pocket knife, all while remaining as far away from her reach as possible. When the female jock felt the ropes around her arms fall away, she quickly turned and nailed Chef in the jaw with her brawny fist. Using her tree-like limbs, she snapped the ropes around her legs and ripped off her muzzle, all while everyone but Noah gasped in horror. Eva glared at the contestants in the water and spoke.

"I'm in charge. Anyone got a problem with that?"

Noah looked at Eva with complete boredom, but Justin and the BFFF's cowered in fear of what might happen if they opposed her wrath.

"Good!" Eva said. The iron woman then climbed the railing of the yacht and jumped down onto a rock, accidentally crushing Tyler's hand. The fail-prone athlete screamed in pain and grasped his swollen hand with the strong fingers of his other hand.

Chris, who couldn't resist spouting out a witty retort, blasted his voice at full power.

"Actually Eva, I'm in control," bragged the host. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"Yes, I do! I should've won T.D.I, and you know it. You better hope I don't make it to shore or your head's gonna be in pieces by the end of the show!

"I second that!" quipped Noah.

"Whatever," said Chris. "Let's just get this over with already. "

Chris raised his megaphone once more.

"Oh Chef, would you kindly bring out the other campers!"

Chef could barely stand after Eva had laid waste to his face, but he managed to reach the cabin and pull out another camper.

"Now," Chris said with a laugh. "From our Revenge of the Island cast, lets give a warm and wet welcome to the authority seeking bed-wetter himself, Brick!"

Chef casually tossed the cadet over the side and walked back into the cabin. When Brick hit the water, he yelled in the direction of the shore.

"Come on, I haven't wet myself since I was 12."

The other campers glared at him in disbelief.

"Ok, I still do. But I can't control it. It just happens whenever."

This comment made the others, especially Justin, slowly back away from the bed-wetter.

Chris' voice rang from shore. "Silent Beverly! Give him a round of applause!"

The silent giant angrily waved his fist at Chris and was tossed off the side by Chef.

"Don't you mean 'B'?!" asked Brick at the top of his voice.

"Sure, whatever," sadistically retorted the snarky host. "Verbal abuse is a ratings magnet, but it doesn't matter, I have much more humiliating plans for everyone. Speaking of verbal abuse, let's see much of it chatty liar Staci can receive before she's voted off, my guess is a lot."

"Yah," snorted the compulsive liar as Chef carried her along the deck. "My great, great, great, great, uncle Edward invented yachts. Before him people just had to use other boats." With a single heave, Staci was sent hurdling towards the icy water. When she regained her breath, she began to lie again. "But boats wouldn't be around if my great, great, great, great, great, aunt Robin hadn't invented rafts. They were so bad that her grandson Aaron built boats instead, yah. But boats wouldn't have existed if water wasn't invented by my great, great, great, great-"

Chris' voice interrupted one of Staci's lies. "Love her or hate her, it's our Jersey Shore reject, Anne Maria."

"Watch out Total Drama, cause Anne Maria's here to win!" bellowed the tanned teen. However, all of Anne Maria's enthusiasm was gone when she saw the ten foot drop and icy water that awaited her below. "No," she gasped. "My looks are way too valuable for dis'."

Chef, without hesitation, grabbed the Jersey girl's rock hard hairdo and dropped her over the side. Her fall was broken by a pair of tanned and developed arms. Anne Maria looked into the lustrous blue eyes of Justin and smiled. "Hey baby, what's your name?" she asked with a purr.

"Justin, at your service." replied the eye candy. Anne Maria blushed and casually chuckled.

"Wow," said Noah. "You're racking up the ladies today. Just wait until they find out just how painfully dull you are in the mental category."

Justin was unfazed by Noah's criticisms. "Are ya' sure you're not jealous? asked the model. "Lets be honest here. When was the last time you ever had a girlfriend? Oh wait, that's right. You play for your own team."

"First of all," Noah quipped. "If you're going to use an urban term you might as well learn how to say it correctly. And secondly, I would play for the other team if I was forced to date a walking can of paint with an attitude problem!"

"Ahem!" coughed Chris. "This rivalry is ratings gold, but if I don't have enough time to introduce our last two contestants, then we'll have to cut the episode short! So, without anymore interruptions, let's welcome creepy moonchild, Dawn."

Chef suddenly came running out of the cabin in a panic. "She's gone! The fairy child's gone AWOL!"

"What?!" screamed Chris. "What do you mean she's gone. You had everyone under lockdown! I demand a full search of the yacht immediately! Leave no door closed and no-"

"Don't worry," came a high pitched voice. "There's never a need to panic."

The suave host quickly shifted his upper body to look in the direction of the voice and let out a scream that would rival that of Noah's in feminism. Standing behind him was Dawn. Her face will lit up with a joyful and relaxed smile that made Chris shudder in fear.

"You!" said the confused host. "How did you-"

"Escape?" answered the moonchild, correctly predicting Chris' question. "It wasn't hard really. Just a little trick my mother taught me."

"How did you even get here. You're not even wet!"

"I always say that some things are better left unanswered. Do you agree?"

"Sure, whatever gets you to stay way away from me." Chris angrily snorted. The host looked Dawn in the eye, and she seemed to slowly gravitate away from the host.

"Alright everyone, false alarm! I'm okay!" Chris blared on his megaphone. "Chef, be a lamb and fetch our last competitor. And make it snappy, my coffee's almost done back at the cottage, and I will not settle for a cold latte in life threatening weather like this."

Chef grabbed the last competitor from the yacht and towed her out by her feet.

"Last and least is not-a-monster Dakota," taunted Chris.

Dakota, although she was miraculously cured of her mutation, was bald and sporting a tail. Her skin and size had been restored to former glory, but her nasty souvenir gathered all of the attention. Everyone in the water, as well as Eva, perched on a rock, couldn't help but break out laughing at how ridiculous the former fame-monger looked.

Dakota remained silent as Chef dropped her headfirst into the lake. She was obviously not pleased with her forced return to the game, and looked as if she would rather dive into a raging fire than dive into another season of torture and humiliation at the hands of Chris McLean and his sadistic challenges.

Once each of the twelve competitors had been revealed, Chris began barking orders, as usual.

"Alright you ninnies, get your butts to the beach immediately. I want to get he pain train rolling and we have 22 minutes of show to fill with juicy footage."

"Oh ladies," Justin reluctantly purred to Katie and Sadie. "Would you be willing to carry me to shore? My muscles just can't take anymore stress."

"Yes!" squealed the BFFF's simultaneously.

"When I get to shore," Noah grumbled. "I'll let Chris have a piece of my mind. Not that he'd care though."

"When I get to shore," snarled Eva, who was already doggy-paddling to the shore. "I'll rip out his spine!"

"Let it go, Iron Woman," quipped Noah. "You're not gutsy enough to kill that flamboyant schmuck."

"But if she did," chuckled Tyler. "It would be-"

"Extreme?" said a nonchalant Noah.

"No!" replied the jock. "Why does everyone always think I'm going to say that?"

The campers were starting to get the chills, so following Eva's lead, each and every contestant, barring Dawn of course, began the long and tiring swim to the shore.

As the more athletic campers crawled onto the beach, just ahead of the others, Chris McLean and his signature McLean Brand smile were there to greet them.

"Welcome underdogs! Did you enjoy your morning swim?" Chris taunted.

Eva, having reached the beach without using a bit of her energy, stormed over to the host with the most and tried to grab him by the throat. However Chris had prepared for a situation just like this. With a single flick of his wrist, Chris whipped out a small gun, causing everyone on the beach to gasp in horror, and causing Eva to stop dead in her tracks inches from the host.

"Oh settle down ya' wimps, it's just a tranquilizer gun. It's completely painless. Unless you get hit in the eye of course. Heh heh!"

Eva stood scowling in front of Chris. "Don't think I won't be watching you McLean. I'm not scared of that gun, and I'm not scared of you. "

"You can try to hurt me, but the new contracts prohibit the infliction of physical harm to the host, and I made a lot of copies."

Noah, who just made it to the beach, after everyone else, couldn't resist poking a jab at Chris. "Too bad you couldn't make copies of your precious island before it sank."

"Really," retorted the suave host, "You think I actually gave a damn about that island? I was always waiting for Wawanakwa to be destroyed so I could collect some major payments from the insurance company. And with that money, I bought a whole new cottage for yours truly, as well as another island out West. As for this island here, it's owned by no one. I found it about three miles from our first island, and it was totally free, at least I think it is. I'm not so sure it's safe, but most importantly, it was free."

"Hold on," said the brainiac. "You had enough money to spend on a mansion, but not a dock. Do you know just how hard it is to swim through forty-two degree water for twenty minutes?"

Suddenly, as if on cue, Staci walked up behind Noah. "Yah, my great, great, great-grandfather Norm invented docks. Before him, people had to drive their boats onto the beach and push them out when they wanted to use them...yah."

"Oh, that's interesting," the bookworm sarcastically quipped. "And my great grandfather invented shutting-up! Before him, everyone just went on and on about useless facts that no one else cared about...yah!"

"But that was invented by my great, great, aunt Mildred, unless they were related, which would make us a family."

Noah turned away and growled. "I'm on an island of morons."

Noah's harsh comment caused Staci to back away into Dakota, who had a question of her own.

"Excuse me Chris, but where are we going to stay? "

"And where are the restrooms?" asked Katie and Sadie.

Anne Maria had her own dilemma. "Is there a salon on dis' place? Cause' these nails need a serious touch up."

"Zip it," exasperated the host. "All will be explained once we meet our special contenders."

"Whoa, hold the phone!" shouted Justin. "What do you mean by special contenders?"

Dawn spoke up from within the group. "He means that he's bringing in new contestants. Four to be exact."

"Thanks for the spoilers, Dawn," growled the host. "But anyway, yes, Dawn is correct. I'm bringing in four new contestants to compete for the $100,000."

"Budgeted season, budgeted prize. What else did you cheap out on," said Dakota with disdain.

All of the sudden, a clicking sound emerged from within the group of campers. When the contestants cleared out, B was shown to be writing something on a small portable blackboard. The silent genius flipped it around to read "Why?"

"What can I say, a budget is a budget, and let's face it. You guys are pretty boring," said a snarky Chris McLean. "The producers figured that some new faces would spice things up around here and draw in the ratings."

"How are we boring?" asked Brick.

"Well, no one really cares about anyone other than our more developed cast. You know, Duncan, Heather, Alejandro, Courtney, and the like."

"So," snorted Noah, "the asses of the show."

"Pretty much," said the host. "Back stabbing, love stories, and bitching are the keys to ratings gold. Learn it, live it, love it! Anyways, while we wait for our new arrivals, why not take a quick break."

Then Chris faced the camera, flashed a white, gleaming grin, and said, "Just who are these new campers? How much has changed with this temporary change of location? And how has the massive spending cut affected the safety of this show? Find out after the break!

~A/N~ So what do you think? Is everyone in character? Are the jokes good? Does it feel like Total Drama at all? Please review or send me a PM if you would like to see more or if you have any ideas for the story.

This first episode will probably be divided into three parts, and next time we'll see more of the new and currently unnamed island, as well as changes in the rules, although the first challenge will be the focus of part three.

Feel to leave a review. They're highly appreciated.