"How's your leg, Harvey?" asked Ivy, as she emerged from her cell in Arkham the next morning, taking a seat next to Two-Face at the breakfast table.

"Still not great," replied Two-Face. "But I guess that'll happen when a ceiling falls on it, and then you have to run away from a buncha killer plants."

"You still whining about that damn leg of yours?" asked Joker, clutching his bandaged head. "Some of us have worse wounds, y'know! Cause we got beat up by the Bat for no reason!"

"He did apologize, Mr. J," said Harley.

"Well, I didn't hear it!" snapped Joker. "And he didn't even send me flowers, or a card…I mean, it's the least he could have done! I'll be happy with a beating when I've done something wrong, but I was on Batsy's side in this thing! And I missed Woody's death! All that buildup and the fun happened offscreen! Is there anything more anti-climactic than a joke with no punchline?"

"Aw, cheer up, Mr. J!" said Harley, nuzzling him. "I got a way to make you feel better! You can take a trip in your Harley's Tunnel of Love, if you get what I'm saying."

"I think everyone just got what you were saying, Harley," said Ivy, rolling her eyes.

"And we really wish we didn't," added Two-Face.

"I ain't in the mood - I'm still angry at you, pooh," snapped Joker. "And at Bats, for not being able to recognize the real me in an army of bodysnatchers. After all we've been through together! I want you both grovelling at my feet, the way I hear Woody was toward the end."

"It's a good lesson for you, J," said Ivy, casually. "Don't trust that the things you break are gonna stay broken forever. And don't be so sure that the people you trample on won't rise up one day and crush you back," she said, nodding pointedly at Harley, who sighed and knelt down on the floor.

"I'm so sorry, Mr. J!" she exclaimed. "Please, please, please don't be angry at me anymore! Please say you wanna go in Harley's Tunnel of Love! Harley really, really, really wants her puddin's big, strong canoe to plunge in and outta there a couple times…"

"Oh God, Harley!" interrupted Two-Face. "Can you both please stop with the images!"

"How do you even know what we're talking about?" demanded Harley. "We're saying completely innocent things – if your dirty mind connects it to sex, that's your own problem, not ours!"

Ivy and Two-Face shared a look as Harley returned to grovelling. "Please, Mr. J! Please, please, please! I'll do anything to make it up to ya!"

"Anything?" Joker repeated, raising an eyebrow. "You'd dunk the clown?"

She nodded vigorously. "Ring the bell? Inflate the whoopie cushion? Shock the joy buzzer? Beat the rubber chicken? Toss the ring? Whack the mole? Bump the cars?" he continued.

She kept nodding. "But you told me you didn't like bumping the cars," he said, eyebrows narrowing.

"I don't, but I'll do it for you, puddin'!" she cried.

He whistled. "I guess you really must be sorry. All right, Harley," he said, helping her up. "Let's go pay a little visit to the funfair."

"Oh, Mr. J!" purred Harley, throwing her arms adoringly around his neck. "And you can do anything you want to me, puddin', forever and ever! Your Harley girl loves it all!"

They left the cafeteria hand in hand. "You think those chumps actually think we were talking about sex?" chuckled Joker.

"With their filthy minds? Course they do, puddin'," giggled Harley.

He laughed, patting her on the head. "Nice work, kiddo," he murmured, kissing her. "Now let's bust outta here and find a funfair, just like we said!"

"You have to be gentle on the bumper cars this time, though, puddin' – I swear I got whiplash last time," said Harley as they headed for the loose bars on the window to the infirmary.

"Ok, after thinking about what all that could possibly mean, I've gotta go be sick somewhere," said Two-Face, struggling to his feet and leaning on his crutch.

"Well, if your leg's still bothering you, come see me in my cell when you're done," said Ivy. "I think I have something that can help with the pain."

He looked at her. "Is…that a euphemism?"

She smiled. "It's a drug," she said, holding up a vial. "Made from some of the remains of Jason's plants. Combine it with some other herbs, and it's a pretty powerful healing formula. So even he had a beneficial use in the end."

Her face fell slightly. "Uh…here," she said, handing it to him. "Excuse me."

And she headed back to her cell. Two-Face looked from the antidote to where she had disappeared, and then followed her, hobbling over to her cell.

"You ok?" he asked, as he saw her seated on her bed, softly petting the Pamela Isley flowers.

"Sure," she said. "I'm glad he's dead, really."

"But?" he asked, sitting down next to her.

She sighed. "I…wanted him to be different," she whispered. "I knew he wasn't, deep down, but…I wanted him to be. I mean, I was really in love with him at the time, Harvey. And I still remember what that felt like. And how much it hurt when he…y'know."

"I know," he said, nodding.

She was silent. "I know he's dead," she murmured. "But I'm going to think about him every day. I can't escape from him – what he did to me. He…he did create me, in a way."

Two-Face pointed to his face. "You think I let Sal Maroni take credit for this?" he asked. "Yeah, he made this happen to my face. But I made Two-Face. You know what they all expected me to do after the accident? Break down. Waste away in some hospital. I didn't do that. I fought back. And so the guy who hurt me didn't win. He wanted to break me. He didn't do that. And the same is true for you and Jason. You should be celebrating, Pam."

"I should," she agreed. "But I don't really feel like it. That's what's bothering me."

The flowers trailed along her fingers. "Jason said he named these flowers after me because he thought that's what I was," she murmured. "Beautiful, gentle, delicate, tender. I guess he didn't know me that well after all."

"I think he was right about that though," said Two-Face, nodding.

She smiled at him. "Appearances are always deceiving, aren't they?" she asked. "I thought Jason had to be wonderful when I first met him because he was so handsome and caring on the surface. I didn't think that could possibly hide a personality so hideous. He taught me that about life too. In an odd way, I'm grateful to him. He made me who I am today. Most of it was my doing, of course, but the initial spark was his."

Two-Face raised the vial. "You want to toast him?"

Ivy nodded. "For old time's sake. Why not?"

She beckoned the flowers to bring a glass of water over to her. "To Jason Woodrue," she said. "May he rot in hell."

"Cheers," agreed Two-Face, downing the vial in one gulp. He sighed. "Christ, that already feels better," he said, glancing at his leg.

"It's fast acting," she agreed. "Should be useful any time any one of us has a nasty run in with the Bat. But don't tell J about it," she added, grinning.

"Lips are sealed," he agreed.

They were silent again. "It's funny, isn't it?" he asked at last. "Not J's ha ha funny, but just…kinda weird. Jason hurt you, but outta that pain came Poison Ivy. Jason tried to create a buncha killer plants, and outta that comes a drug that helps heal humanity."

"You saying we actually should have toasted him?" laughed Ivy.

"I'm saying out of horrible things can come really great things," he murmured. "I just think that's kinda funny."

"What, you mean like Two-Face coming outta Harvey Dent?" asked Ivy, grinning.

"Obviously a reverse situation there," muttered Two-Face.

She smiled at him. "I don't think so," she murmured, putting a hand on his scarred face. "I mean, I tried to kill Harvey Dent, after all. Never thought that one day he'd save my life."

She dropped her hand suddenly. "But then I do have the weirdest exes," she added, grinning.

"Tell me about it," he agreed. "Some kinda tree guy and a guy with half a face. You sure can pick 'em, Pam," he said, standing up without the use of his crutch.

"Better than Harley," she said.

"Not saying much," he retorted.

She shrugged. "Well, no regrets," she murmured. "Every guy I've dated, everything they've done to me, and every choice I've made has made me who I am today. And I don't think I've done too badly outta all of it."

"You don't need a coin to make decisions, so that's a step up from me," he said, heading for the door.

She caught his arm. "You need a coin to make this one?" she asked, kissing him tenderly.

He gazed at her. "Maybe eventually," he murmured.

"But right now?" she asked.

He grinned, pushing her down on the bed. "What do you think I am, Pammie? Crazy?"

The End