Author's note: Enjoy the last chapter!

He decided that he should have got used to waking up in strange places during the last week as he struggled to open his eyes. This time, though, he knew exactly where he was: the smells and the beeping next to him told him that he was in hospital.

The heart monitor picked up his quicker heartbeat when he remembered. Had they got out? Was Dean okay? What about Aynät?

He opened his eyes. Nobody was in the room with him, and it gave him a pang to think that Balthazar would have been there.

A nurse entered and smiled at him.

"Mr. Novak, I'm glad to see you awake."

"How long – " he rasped.

"A week. You were in the ICU for the first two days".

It had been close then.

He tried to remember, but only disjointed bits came back to him.

We have to –

We can't just –

It's minutes –

He needs –

He couldn't even recall who had said what, but he seemed to feel Dean's hands on him.

"What happened?" he asked. Her face fell slightly, although she kept smiling.

"That is for your colleagues to tell. Now wait a moment, I'll fetch a doctor".

Colleagues? Were they here?

He should have expected Henricksen to enter the room alongside the doctor, but he was still disappointed.

"Castiel" his superior greeted him, and he nodded.

Henricksen's face was carefully composed, just like during interrogations, and Cas wondered if they suspected him of being responsible for Balthazar's disappearance.

They didn't talk, apart from Cas answering the doctor's question. He had lost a lot of blood, but the knife had been left in the wound, closing it off, and had thankfully not hit any major arteries; still it had been a dangerous injury, and it was lucky that he had been found so soon afterwards.

At this, Cas perked up. But neither the doctor – who had told him his name, but Cas had been too preoccupied with his thoughts to pay attention – nor Henricksen elaborated on the circumstances under which he had been "found".

He allowed the doctor to check his vital once more, then he was left alone with Henricksen.

"What do you remember?" he asked not unkindly.

Cas took a deep breath. He would have to be careful. He had no idea where the others had left him.

"Not much" he began and, remembering that the demons had knocked him out in Lawrence, "Someone hitting me on the head. Then it all becomes rather fuzzy – I imagine I was given barbiturates". Not that they would find any traces of such in his blood, but there were enough who couldn't be detected after a few hours had passed.

Henricksen nodded. He let his mask slip and Cas saw sympathy on his face. He almost sighed with relief, but recalled that he had a role to play.

"What about Balthazar?" he forced out. "I think he was captured at the same time as me. Is he alright?"

This was the hardest part. He didn't want to lie about his friend.

He didn't want to hide that Balthazar had saved them.

But he had to.

He hoped that he was convincing, and apparently he succeeded, because there was pity in Henricksen's face as he told him, "We haven't found him yet. You were lying in a dead end street when you were found – quite by accident. A passing pedestrian thought he had heard cries for help".

It had been Dean, Cas was sure, who had made certain that he would be found, who had saved his life. And yet all he could think about at this moment was Balthazar, how the world would never know how strong he had been, and he didn't have to hide his sorrow because Henricksen would interpret it differently.

He didn't tell him that they had hoped Cas could give them some clues. They both knew.

Eventually, he cleared his throat and began, "Your memory may come back with time".

Cas nodded, even though he knew he had a life of pretending ahead of him.

"The doctor will be back shortly with your prognosis, but you will be on leave for at least three months, during which you will attend therapy sessions. You are not to return until you are declared fit for service."

Cas nodded again. Considering how he had behaved during the case, he was getting off lightly. With a stab of guilt, eh realized this had most likely to do with Balthazar.

"Castiel – I am sorry about Balthazar".

"Me too" he answered, and he was just as sincere as his superior.

Henricksen stayed long enough to hear that Cas should make a full recovery without lasting damage, and left with good wishes and the insurance that they were doing everything in their power to find Agent Roché.

As soon as he was gone, Cas asked for a telephone. The doctor disapproved, but Cas was insistent, and he dialled the number he had memorized over the last few days.

Dean didn't pick up.

Dean looked at his phone. He didn't recognize the number, which could only mean one thing.

Cas. The last time he had checked on him – well, when he had broken once more into the hospital last night to check his records – he had been expected to wake up any moment now.

Apparently he had and was trying to contact him.

Dean didn't take the call. Cas was out; he had survived a fight against one of the strongest demons Dean had ever seen, and he wouldn't complicate his life even further.

God knew he'd lost enough.

Cas was dying in his arms. Dean had to take him somewhere they could help him as soon as possible.

"Crowley?" he called out. "What about that tearing her apart plan? I don't think we have much time to think".

"You're right" the demon answered calmly.

In the next moment, Dean saw hellhounds burst through the door. Bobby and Sam couldn't see them, of course, but they were loud enough to let them know what was going on.

Dean glanced at Aynät, who was struggling against the hold Crowley had on her, but had to look away when the dogs started tearing her apart.

He concentrated on Cas instead of the eerie silence behind him. Apart from the hellhounds, not a sound was heard.

Aynät was silent.

He couldn't think about that now. He could teleport again, and without a second thought, he brought Cas to Lawrence.

HHHHddddddd He felt slightly dizzy – he still wasn't used to take someone with him – but at least he had reached his destination – a cul-de-sac not too far from a busy road.

He would have brought him to a hospital immediately, but he needed Cas to be found in Lawrence to avoid questions. So he called until he heard someone running in their direction and hid.

Cas was still breathing, but it was laboured and shallow. Dean waited until the ambulance arrived.

He walked into Bobby's study and informed the old hunter and Sam, "Cas is awake".

"Did he call?" Sam asked excitedly. Dean shot him an expressive look, and he frowned. As always, he knew what Dean had done.

"You are making the wrong decision" he said.

"It's the right one for him" he replied courtly. "And that's enough for me".

He went to get a beer and ignored the looks Sam and Bobby shot him.

Cas waited for a few minutes. Dean didn't call back.

It was then that he realized that he hadn't memorized Sam's or Bobby's number and that he didn't even know where his cell phone was – more likely than not, he had lost it. He could have tracked down Bobby's landline easily, but he didn't want to run after Dean when the demon obviously wanted nothing to do with him now that it was over, when he stuck to his plan to let Cas go back to Quantico, was content never to see him again.

Cas tried to convince himself that it was better that way.

He didn't succeed.

Dean downed half of his beer with one gulp. Cas was safe. There was no reason for him to pick up or see the guy ever again. So they had slept together once. So there might be feelings involved. So what?

"What are ya doing to yourself?"

He turned around to find Bobby stare at him disapprovingly.

"You mean the beer before midday? Alcohol can't even affect me anymore – "

He rolled his eyes.

"Not that. I mean Cas?"

"What about him?" he asked as carelessly as possible. "He's good. He's safe".

"And miserable because you won't pick up the phone".

"You don't know that".

The look Bobby gave him was answer enough.

Dean sighed.

"Look – "

"Don't "look" me, boy. I'm tired of your bullshit".

Dena stared at him.

"So you're a demon. You went to Hell – for a damn good reason, I might add. But you're also in love with Cas, he's in love with you. Go to him".

"You think it's that easy?"

"Yes." The answer was so simple that Dean forgot that he'd just raised the bottle to his lips to take another sip, and he let his hand sink.

"I just want you to be happy". Dean wanted to remind him why seeing Cas again was a bad idea, why getting attached was a bad idea in the first place, but Bobby was having none of it.

"If there's anyone who deserves to be selfish and happy for once, it's you". He ignored Dean's sceptical gaze. "Yes, you can't tell what the future will bring. We're hunters – that's life. And no go and get him, idjit".

Dean didn't know why, would probably never know why – maybe Bobby's words had done the trick, or he was always going to go and see Cas and only pretending he wasn't – but he put the beer on the table and vanished.

Bobby went back to the study.

"And?" Sam asked, pretending not to have listened.

"He's visiting Cas" Bobby answered, and they smiled at one another.

Cas had no intention of repeating his mistake of deceiving himself, as he had with his feelings for Dean, and he knew he had to start getting over the demon right away. It had been a crazy time, a crazy case, a crazy crush, and now it was over and he didn't care. Wouldn't care. Eventually.

He wished he could call Balthazar. He'd been his one confidante, his only friend, and he was –

For the first time since it had happened, he allowed himself to grief. He hadn't had time then, finding Aynät more important than anything else. But now and for the next few months he had nothing but time, to grieve Balthazar, regret Dean, and wonder what possessed him to ever work this case after he had found out what was going on.

Dean had teleported to a few streets down from the hospital. He didn't want to freak anyone out by suddenly appearing in the middle of it, and the short walk would help him gather his thoughts.

He couldn't say if he was doing the right thing here. Odds pointed to no. But Bobby was right – might not something good come out of this fucked-up, incomprehensible mess that was his life? And Cas wanted him.

Cas was in love with him.

And he was in love with Cas.

Maybe, as Bobby had said, it was that simple.

Within minutes, he stood in front of the hospital. He had no idea when the visiting hours were, but he didn't care. He'd just stroll in, confident as always, and no one would ask questions. And if someone were to come into Cas' room unexpectedly, he could always disappear.

He'd spent quite a bit of time there in the last week, watching Cas sleep and trying to act like that wasn't creepy at all. In fact, he'd spent most of his time there – when he hadn't been called back to Bobby's for dinner by Sam, who refused to return home until he knew Cas was awake and well, or, as had happened once, by Crowley.

"I have dealt with Aynät" he'd informed him. "She won't trouble us no longer".

Dean hadn't asked what exactly he had done to or where he had placed her; he could imagine.

He hadn't heard from the King of Hell – he figured it was appropriate to use the title now – since then. Neither from Bela. He hoped she'd landed somewhere nice. She had helped them, after all.

He was standing in front of Cas' door and took a deep breath. He could still leave.

Or he could actually be happy for once.

He knocked.

When he heard the agent's voice call out "Come in" he couldn't suppress his smile.

Cas frowned when he heard the knock. He didn't think a doctor or nice would knock and wait for permission, and he didn't expect any visitors. Maybe Henricksen had come back?

Dean walked in.

Cas didn't know what to say; he had thought he'd never see the demon again, but here he was, standing in his room.

Dean didn't seem to be sure what to say either though, so he could take a breath before he began, "Sorry I didn't take your call".

He cleared his throat. "Thought I'd drop by instead".

So that was it, then. Dean wanted to say goodbye in person. He supposed it was more than he had had any right or reason to expect.

"How're you doing?"

"I'll have to stay for a few more days, but I should be able to leave soon" Cas informed him, "make a full recovery. I'll be off duty for a while, though".

Dean nodded.

"Glad to hear it". He went to the window and spent some moment looking outside, fidgeting. Cas wondered if he should be the one to begin the conversation Dean was here for, but the demon started, "It's been a difficult time, man".

Cas snorted. "You can say that".

Dean shot him a smile.

"What about Aynät?"

The smile dropped.

"Crowley put her somewhere she can't climb out of".

"Is he King of Hell now?"

Dean shrugged. "More or less".

Before the silence could grow too long, he continued, determined, "Like I said, it's been crazy, and I understand if you just wanna go back to Quantico and pretend nothing of this ever happened. But – "

Cas looked up from his hands. As soon as Dean had started talking, he'd looked away, deciding it would be better not to look into his eyes as he explained why they shouldn't see each other again, but now he felt hope flare in his chest.

Encouraged by the expression on Cas' face, Dean continued, "But – if you'd have me, there' be no reason to make this a one-time thing. Only if you want, of course. I mean – I enjoyed it. A lot. So..."

He trailed off and Cas held out his right hand.

Dean stared at it, confused.

Cas rolled his eyes.

"It is rather difficult to show you that I want to if you are standing so far away".

Dean beamed – a real, big smile that made Cas' heart beat faster – and made his way to Cas' bed.

Some time later, a nurse did indeed open the door, but closed it again as she saw Dean once more lean in to kiss him. Mr. Novak hadn't received any visitor except his boss until now; she figured she could let them have a few more minutes.

Four months later

Cas put on his tie and, as countless times before, tried to do it right, but gave up. It was the first day he was allowed back working on actual cases, if one came up, instead of desk duty, and he might have wished to look his best but resigned himself to the fact that he'd been so rarely seen with e proper-tied tie that it would hardly matter.

Dean had spent the night, but had left after Cas had fallen asleep. That wasn't unusual; the demon came and went as he pleased, his teleporting abilities ensuring that he was there the minute Cas called him. And he spent most of his time with the agent.

Cas smiled as he thought about Dean. They were still hesitant to put a label on their relationship, or to talk about the future. He understood what it meant that he was in love with an immortal being.

But there was still a lot of time before he had to start thinking about it, a lot of time filled with laughter and watching trash tv and drinking beer and enjoying each other's presence – and occasionally hunting, if he had the time.

Sam had returned to his life with Sarah and work at the auction house, but kept his ears out for cases, mostly doing research when Dean needed him to; the demon had once more become the hunter he had been before he had gone to Hell, although it was now "way easier to gank those sons of bitches". He usually either crashed at Bobby's, or, more often, came home to Cas in the evenings, although they didn't call it such.

They hadn't talked about his shirts in Cas' closet or the Impala parked on his street yet.

While Cas had been off duty, he had assisted Dean in a few cases – during the first one, he had introduced him to Baby, and he hadn't needed to be assured that he seemed to fit right in, with Dean's glances at him every few seconds, even if he should have been paying attention to the road – and admitted that he enjoyed it. His whole life, he had lived by the book, controlled by regulations; when he hunted, every single one of those rules was gone and left him feeling completely free for the first time.

Not that Dean had nothing to do with that feeling. He'd even told him that he'd "done good" after each of their cases, and Cas knew him well enough to recognize it as the praise it was.

Their last hunt had taken place over a month ago – since he had been back at the Bureau, he hadn't had the time – he'd not only missed the freedom, but the extra time he could have spent with his boyfriend, much as Dean would have hated the word.

He had been on desk duty since he had returned, and he still had regular counselling sessions. As long as he reminded himself that he couldn't tell the man that he grieved because he knew Balthazar was dead, not because he was missing, he figured he'd be fine.

Henricksen, as all his colleagues, had been very understanding, without knowing that they would never be able to understand at all.

Not that he wanted them to. There were some things he couldn't explain.

He felt someone standing beside him and turned around with a smile. As he had expected, Dean was standing there. They had discussed making Cas' flat demon-proof, but he had refused. He would rather have Dean being able to show up at all hours than having to control a salt line every time he stepped over his thresh hold. Plus, Crowley had Hell under control now, according to the new King himself, and Cas had an anti-possession tattoo.

"Hello, Dean".

As always, the demon tried to pretend he wasn't as glad to hear his usual greeting as he was, and he stepped forward to fix Cas' tie.

"Can't have you look shabby when you meet witnesses".

"I might not get a case for a while" he reminded him.

"Still" Dean winked, "Doesn't hurt to be sure".

Cas kissed him. He couldn't help it when Dean was in a good mood and looked at him like he was the best thing that could have happened to him.

The kiss went on a bit longer than it should have, long enough to make Cas regret that he wasn't still off duty.

Dean pushed him away and cleared his throat.

"We should get going".

He drove Cas to work, if he had the time. As he had thought, he fit wonderfully into Baby. Even that one time Sam had helped them out during a hunt and had kept complaining that he had to sit in the back while throwing him grins through the rear view mirror.

Dean found that he couldn't regret going to Cas four months ago, although he had believed then that he would. The very first functioning relationship in his life, and it was with a FBI agent and after he'd gone to Hell. Go figure.

He all but lived at Cas', to be honest. Sometimes he wondered if he should mention it, but he wasn't about to screw this up by talking about stuff.

He stopped a few streets from the main building, old resentment against the law enforcement still in place, and Cas good-naturedly rolled his eyes and smiled at him before kissing him goodbye and exiting the car.

Dean's smile dropped after Cas left his sight.

Among the stuff they hadn't talked about was a subject that he'd rather ignore altogether, but he knew he couldn't keep doing that forever.

Thing is, he would like to continue living this way the rest of his lives. He saw Sam constantly – their promised visits of "once or twice a week" when they had parted at Sarah's after they had went to see Cas at the hospital together had immediately changed into "once or twice a day".

"Don't be a stranger, alright?" Sam asked after he had hugged him, standing next to the Impala. They were parked in front of his and Sarah's apartment building.

Dean snorted. "You don't know me Sammy, do you".

As he drove away, he had already been counting down the days until he would see his brother again.

And if the days turned into the very next during Sam's lunch break, well, his sense of time had become a little screwed in Hell.

They even hunted together now and then, although Sam was mostly the go-to guy for other hunters, like Bobby. He also saw a lot of the old hunter. He spent most of his time with Cas.

Yeah, he could definitely seeing the rest of his life going like this.

But it wouldn't. Because one day, it would end, and they would be gone.

He wondered if he kept Cas from a normal life, a family. He didn't like the train of thought, so he drove back to Cas' apartment.

He slumped down on the sofa. There weren't any hunts on at the moment, and Sam was at work. He could always pester Bobby, but right now he felt like being lazy.

Which was of course the perfect opportunity for Crowley to text him.

He was too meet him in a bar somewhere in Chicago, and Dean groaned, not as annoyed as he pretended to be.

They had met a few times since Aynät had been safely locked away in Hell. At first, Dean had thought that Crowley had errands for him, but he had never asked him to do anything, and he was beginning to believe that what he and the King of Hell did could be called "catching up".

Oddly enough, he didn't mind. He still wanted to strangle him most of the time, but he was certainly one of the better demons he had met. And he couldn't deny that in the end Crowley had been right there with them, fighting.

Dean teleported to the address of the bar. It might have only been 9:26 am, but if Crowley wanted a drink, he'd get it.

"Dean".

"Crowley".

The bar was empty except for them; there wasn't even a bartender around, and Dean was instantly suspicious. Why would Crowley break into an empty bar? He preferred to be served.

He eyed the demon.

"New suit?"

"You noticed. I'm flattered." Crowley took a sip of his Craig while Dean served himself.

"So, how's Hell?" he asked, watching the whiskey swirl in his glass.

Crowley sighed dramatically.

"To be honest, it's been Hell. I've been trying to show these black-eyed brads a new way, but they are..." he trailed off.

"Demons?" Dean suggested.

"Exactly". Crowley took another sip.

"Of course, not that you have to worry about it. How's life with your pretty agent?"

Dean could have been annoyed, but there wasn't any malice in Crowley's words, and it gave him a thrill to have Cas referred to as his.

"Cas is good" he told him.

Crowley had a strange expression on his true face, the one of his meatsuit composed as always; he studied Dean for a few moments before pulling something that looked like old parchment out of his pocket.

He laid it on the counter between them.

Dean looked at him.

"You have done exceptionally well. Consider this a bonus" Crowley said, but Dean could see that he was more affected than he let on.

"What is it?" he asked, picking it up and studying it.

Old Latin again, but luckily not as obscure as the ritual Aynät had been trying to complete.

He understood and let the parchment drop.

"I was hoping you would handle my presents with more care – "

"A cure for demons?" Dean all but shouted.

"Yes." Crowley looked into his glad. "I found it in one of the bottomless pits the management before me used to drop such things in. I immediately thought of you, of course. It will be a big disappointment to you, but you simply aren't cut out for this life. You are great with a knife, but these attachments to humans and the human lifestyle..."

Dean barely listened. He had picked the parchment up and was going over the cure.

It was manageable. If it really worked...

He took a deep, shaky breath, looked at Crowley and said, "Thank you".

The demon's eyes widened, then he deliberately looked away again.

The air suddenly felt a lot tenser. Should he just go?

Then Crowley met his eyes once more and said matter-of-factly, "You make your deals and you keep them."

It was the closest they would ever come to an honest conversation.

"So you give me this? I'm a hunter".

Crowley smirked.

"Of course you could turn on me the moment you're human and start using it on my people and hunt me down – but where would be the fun in that?"

Dean couldn't help but smile as he vanished.

He was at Bobby's a moment later, startling him.

He had his shot gun pointed at Dean before he grumbled, "Damn it, boy, would it kill you to knock?"

As an answer, he shoved the parchment under his nose.

It took Bobby a few minutes to read it through, then he looked at Dean.

"And?" he asked impatiently. "Do you think it's legit?"

Maybe it wouldn't work.

But if it did –

He could have this. A life, a human life. With Cas and Sam and Bobby and Sarah.

"It looks like it" Bobby said carefully. He looked up, his eyes shining. "I'll have to do more research, but if it works... Dean".

"I know" he said, still unable to fully grasp what it meant. "I know".

He took out his phone and called Cas, Bobby shooing him away because he needed peace and quiet for the research.

He appeared near Cas' office building.

"Hey, you on your way to a crime scene or can you take an early lunch break?"

"That would be very early" Cas replied.

"It's just – I have something to tell you" Dean explained. His hands were shaking. If this was true...

"Is everything alright? There's this one report, but it can wait..."

"No" Dean interrupted him, realizing he'd worried Cas. "Just finish it. We have time".

"Are you sure?"

"Yes", he said softly, imagining Cas' expression when he would explain to him over a "very early lunch" that soon they would indeed have all the time in the world.

Author's note: I spent several months with this fanfiction – more than with any other before – and I wouldn't have made it without your reviews and favourites. Thank you.

Have a wonderful first of December!