SLEXIE FIC

Lexie was mortified. It was clear the young woman was not expecting Julia to show up.

"Well.. Um thankyou Mark, I'll umm, I'll see you.. Bye." Lexie stumbled over her words and as she turned to walk away she stumbled over her feet as well. As the woman gained her footing she jogged away, using all the fight she had left not to turn around and look at him. As the surgeon walked away it became apparent to her what she had just done. She could have hurt Mark, she could have broken up Mark and Julia or worse she might not have made any difference at all.

"Oh for the love of god." Lexie whispered under her breathe as it dawned upon her.. They would see each other, tomorrow. They had to work together no matter the outcome, and boy would that be uncomfortable. Although she had anxiety flowing through her body, there was also a light feeling, brought on from the fact that he knew. Even if she had to deal with the rejection, it wouldn't matter because he knew and there was closure from that. Walking home was such a mundane task and a long one to, but to Lexie it was nice. The constant one step at time, right foot, left foot. Walking was easy it was simple. But loving a man who might no longer love you back was harder.

The older surgeon stood there mouth slightly parted with shock and confusion reflecting from his face. He couldn't move. It was as though his shoes had melted to the pavement below him, almost as though the soles of his shoes were made of tar and had melded within the crevices of the ground he was currently standing on. Should he run after his ex-lover? Did he want to?

"Are you ready?" Julia questioned, clearly confused about the look on Mark's face.

"Uh, no I don't think I am." The man clearly could not comprehend the situation he was in and need time to think about everything that had happened in the past 6 minutes and 26 seconds thoroughly. A look of confusion flashed over Julia's face, "Mark? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Claimed the world renowned surgeon, pulling at strings in his head trying to find a reasonable excuse not to go out with his… girlfriend. Girlfriend, what a strange concept. Mark had only ever really had one. Well one that he was serious about and she had just confessed her love to him, god there was nothing like what he had with Lexie. It was pure. Beautiful. But also sexy and just generally right.. He had loved Addison back in the day but nothing had ever compared to Lexie not even Julia. To anyone else the option of who to pick would be clear but to him it wasn't. It was the woman he had been in love with for years or it was the woman who wanted everything that he did like kids and a marriage. Sophia needed siblings and it was highly doubtful that Lexie would be willing to make siblings anytime soon. It really was odd, even to Mark that he was looking for a girl to fit his criteria, he used to sleep with anything that walked for gods sake! But the surgeon was aware of the fact he was not getting any younger. It was now or never he just wasn't sure which he wanted and which he needed.

"Mark? Are we going or not?" Julia was clearly getting frustrated with her boyfriend's inability to give her an answer. The woman could tell that the man she had fallen in love with was under pressure but she was under the impression that he trusted her enough to let her in. Well he should be at that point by now, after all they had been in a monogamous relationship for almost a year now, and she loved him… He had never said he loved her in so many words but he had to.. Didn't he? They had been together for nearly a year. You couldn't be with someone for that long and not be invested 100%.. Could you? Well you could but Callie and Arizana had assured her he wanted to be with her.

Mark looked at her guilty, his expression giving his girlfriend the answer she needed. "Right, well I'm going to go home. Call me when you come up with a good excuse as to why we aren't going out." It was apparent the female surgeon was less than appeased and also extremely confused, but none-the-less she removed herself from the situation by storming off to her car to go home and spend the night alone.

"Well…" Mark muttered under his breath as the feeling of being stuck removed it's self from him as he began to walk away from the area behind the hospital. After a few steps it became apparent that he was unsure of where to go, but it had to be somewhere away from Lexie and away from Julia. The wind whipped his face as he continued to walk with no particular destination in mind.

It wasn't until the sun was peeking through the early morning sky that Mark made a decision . Whether it was the right one or not was a completely different question for the man, but only time would tell. He needed to do what was going to be best for him in the long run.. Even if the decision hurt him, it would pay off. It had to. As he finally reached his five-star apartment building he took a deep breath and entered the lobby. It was apparent that the surgeon needed to become slave to sleep after all it had been an insane 48 hours. It was necessary to rest before he confronted her, to give himself and hopefully her some peace of mind. This conversation would tear the both of them apart and he needed a few hours of not thinking before he would be ready to face the difficult task that lay ahead.

She was on the night shift again. With him… again. With only a few hour sleep the resident felt under prepared for the night ahead of her. She had spent all day trying to rest but all she could do was create scenarios within her head of all the possibilities that could come with her next shift within the building of Seattle Grace Mercy Death. Would the man she had tried not to love for so long whisk her up in is arms or would he tell her he loved the eye doctor, these thoughts had been on a constant loop all day. But the worst thought would always be what if he didn't care enough to say anything? What if after all this time he had moved on to a point where she didn't even register in his brain as anyone other than a student.

The few hours of sleep the young surgeon was granted were not as peaceful as she would have liked. In fact they weren't peaceful at all, due to the fact that not only did she toss and turn but she was also visited with dreams. Dreams. It sounds so beautiful and it was something she would usually welcome but it was a consequence of her mild PTSD from the shooting just a couple of years ago that her brain did not welcome the images in her head while rest was upon her. Apparently confronting Mark inspired a change in her brain and subsequently she was graced with vivid images. Images of none other than her and Mark. It was like she was watching a film, first there was the "Teach me." Scene running through her subconscious, then it was like the entire relationship flashed across a tv screen but in slow motion. Both quick and slow although that seemed impossible now she was in a lucid state. Every single touch; soft and ruff. Every breath ; deep and shallow.. Every look; lustful and loving. Each and every part ; good and bad, touched her brain while her defences were down. She had so much yet so little to lose at this point. If he rejected her it would mean she had lost her love and dignity. If he loved her back… well it was obvious to the girl that getting her hopes up was not a sound plan.

Sliding out of her hard bed and slipping into the communal bathroom of her sisters place, Lexie tried to rid her mind of the over analysing it was doing. But it became apparent that the steam from the shower was not enough for the cluttered mess within her head. Removing herself from the bathroom and heading back to the dusty attic where she lived, felt like a huge task for the tired woman. As she realized that she was running incredibly late her heart went into over drive as she sped around the house finding clean clothes, makeup and locating her pager, before running out of the house with the other surgical residents. Luckily that was enough to distract her from Mark for a few seconds. As the housemates clambered into a car together tension ensued.

Usually Lexie and Jackson went in separate cars.. Lexie with Meredith and Derek and Jackson with April and Alex but the rush this particular morning had left them together in Alex's dodgy car. As Lexie made eye contact with Jackson the fellow surgeon whipped his head around to stare out of the window. It became clear to Lexie that her actions last night may affect him also. If Mark chose her… The chances were slim but if he reciprocated the feelings she had then Jackson could be hurt. Yes, he broke up with her but he broke up with her because he knew.. Everyone knew Alexandria Grey's heart was owned my Mark Sloan and there were no refunds. Jackson had claimed the break up was so he could learn from Mark without any awkwardness but if Lexie had her way and Mark was with her, would Jackson be stuck within an awkward situation yet again? Or was she thinking to highly of herself? Did Jackson care? "Great." The woman sighed quietly as she recognized that she had just added more thoughts into the pool of them already swimming through her cranium.

Entering the hospital was essentially a habit at this point. But this time walking in felt different, he didn't know what the day would bring. Generally Mark entered his workplace knowing what was going to happen, entering the building 7 minutes early leaving himself time to get into scrubs and get charts ready for rounds with the students of the hospital. Then he would do a scheduled breast implants or a cleft lip and a palette on a baby and then most likely some insane trauma would enter the ER. He would sign charts, teach students, wink at nurses and laugh at the good old days. At some point the plastic surgeon would treat a burn and play with his daughter. It was expected at this point that Callie and Arizona would bug him about proclaiming his love to his current girlfriend and a resident would screw something up that he would have to fix. But today was different for him. "Here we go." The talented surgeon whispered as he crossed the threshold of Seattle Grace Mercy West.

She stumbled through the front doors of the building with 3 minuted to get her scrubs on and get to rounds. The young woman gave hurried smiles to the nurses and patients that she made eye contact with on her way towards the locker holding her precious scrubs. Placing them on along with her classic Nike's was strangely comforting. Proclaiming her love for an impressive surgeon wouldn't lead her to lose her job.. It might make her job harder but so long as she wasn't distracted, keeping the habit of placing scrubs on every day would remain a part of her life for a very long period of time. And there it was again. Mark glued to her every thought. Lexie continued to be completely absorbed by her mind as she stumbled into the hallway of the hospital. She was aware of people talking around her and of the sound IV's were making within the few rooms in the wing she was currently walking through, but that was all she could make out because there he was. The man she had been emotionally invested in for years. Standing in a doorway only a few footsteps away from where she stood. "Little Grey…" Was the only thing Lexie heard before a screeching sound met her ears. Her eyes flashed towards the man she was invested in, Mark Sloan. His eyes connected with hers immediately. Both sets of eyes were wide as their pagers continued to screech continuously. They broke eye contact after what felt like minutes but must only have been seconds. As if they were completely in sync both surgeons lifted their pages to see what the emergency was. "No…" was the only word to slip from their mouths before the pagers began to light up yet again.