Edward continues to cry for almost an hour, and after about ten minutes I can hear the kids downstairs getting restless. Esme leaves the room then, to comfort the others, as I can hear Alice crying too. After a moment or two Edward leans back slightly and sees the wet patch on my shirt that his tears caused, and he tries to remove himself from my grasp. But I gently pull him towards me again. "No, son," I whisper, resting my cheek on his head. He is still crying. "It's just a shirt. It's just a shirt."

Somehow this makes him cry harder, and I look up to God as I sit us both down on the bed and begin rocking him back and forth as he sits in my lap. I ask Him to give us strength in this time. I ask him to spare my son; as I asked him to spare the Masens in the beginning of 1918, before Elizabeth made her plea.

Is this my punishment? I ask Him silently. For cheating others out of death? For cheating death myself? I am sorry. I am so sorry, but please, please, don't take it out on my son. I know he has killed. I know he has made mistakes. But please don't take him from us. Please don't take him from me.

As I pray I am glad Edward can't hear my thoughts anymore. He has never believed in God and thought that my continued belief in Him was ridiculous. I never judged him for that, and I know that even though he didn't agree with my beliefs, he never judged me, either. In fact I think the only time he ever judged me was when I changed Rosalie for him. He thought I was mad and had no problem telling me that.

After an hour of crying sleep claims him, and I run my thumbs over his cheeks to dry them before I lay him completely on the bed and pull the blankets over him. I kiss his forhead once before standing and realising that I do have other children, and they, and Esme, will need me too. Taking one last look at him I make my way downstairs. The others look up as I reach the last few steps. Silently, I take my seat next to Esme.

"He'll get better, won't he?" Alice inquires with wide eyes, and I just look at her sadly before answering.

"Considering how long he's gone without needing an immune system," I begin. "And considering how much of his immune system was defeated by the influenza before I changed him... I don't think he will get better... No."

"But he was only diagnosed today!" Jasper argues, and I shake my head.

"I've been noticing these symptoms for at least a month," I tell them, and Jasper's face falls. "The best we can do is try to prolong his life for as long possible, and give him the most comfortable... end... as we can."

"So there's no hope?" Rosalie whispers, and Emmett wraps his arms around her.

"Of course there's hope," I mutter. "It's just... Edward might not believe that, and we have to make sure he does." I stand, trying to smile but failing miserably. "I'm going into work. I want to discuss Edward's treatment with Doctor Wells."

When I reach the hospital it seems that the news has spread; one of the perfect, elusive, Cullen children is dangerously ill, and Doctor Cullen is on the verge of a breakdown. I don't know where the second part came from... Or maybe I do, as I look into a dark window I'm reflected back at myself. My hair is a mess; there are dark circles under my eyes; there is still a wet patch on my shoulder from Edward's crying and I'm arriving at the hospital at midnight, only a few hours since I was told my son has cancer.

"Carlisle!" Doctor Wells exclaims, looking at me like I'm mad. I run my hands thorugh my hair, trying to flatten it. "What are you doing here?"

Other doctors in the waiting room and the receptionist are looking at me with concern. As I look at him I realise how ridiculous it was to come here and discuss Edward's treatment; Doctor Wells' shift is ending and we've already made an appointment for later in the day to discuss the treatment with both Esme and Edward there. I smile slightly, and laugh, running a hand down my face. "I don't actually know," I tell him, shrugging. He sighs slightly, looking very, very concerned. "I'll just go."

"Wait," He says, and I stop. "Are you alright?"

"Healthy as a horse," I reply, smiling. I then gesture to the wet patch on my shoulder. "We told Edward, and the rest of the kids."

"How did he take it?"

"He's upset."

"Are you?"

"I'm fine."

"I don't believe you."

I huff, and start walking towards the exit again. "I'll see you tomorrow," I call over my shoulder.

"Right, for Edward's appointment," He says.

"And for Bella's," I correct. He looks confused. "Bella Swan has an appointment tomorrow. I'm her doctor."

"Oh, no no no no," He laughs slightly. "You're not working tomorrow, or any other day for the rest of the week. I'll take care of Bella."

"I'm working tomorrow," I say forcefully, and I notice that a few people are walking towards me. To restrain me, I guess. Their instincts must be screaming. "Bella is my patient. And now that I have first hand experience I can relate to the family better, no?"

"Edward will most likely be okay," He tries to reassure me. "Bella is dying, and will die, it's hardly as if-"

"Did you know," I reply in a quiet voice, my tone deadly calm. He stops talking and pales immediately. "That I have had to watch each and every one of my children dying? Once, Emmett went out hiking and got attacked by a bear. Rosalie had to drag him back to the house and for hours and hours we thought he wouldn't make it. Jasper was so heavily abused by his previous guardians that it took him months to open up to us, and when he did his previous guardian tracked him and down and had him beaten to the point of death. We barely got to him in time. The fear and pain in my daughter's face was something I never want to see again. Just before we adopted Rosalie, I was her doctor, as I had been on my way home when I found her beaten and bleeding on the side of the road. And Edward... Edward, the first I adopted. His mother begged me to save him, to adopt him once I made him better. They were all dying of viral pnuemonia, and his parents didn't make it. When he got better, and how he did I still don't know, it felt like I had to watch him dying all over again as he grieved for them. I know what it's like, to have to watch someone you love coughing up blood and not being able to stop it, I know what it's like to watch someone you love dying in a hospital bed, because I have seen it all before. Now, I have to go through it again and I am fully aware that with Edward's medical history there isn't much chance of his survival, and he is just as aware as I am. So please, please don't tell me I don't know what it's like to watch my child die!"

I turn, thanking the Lord that in this move my children decided to be funny and create fake medical files containing the reasons for their 'deaths' and that I was their doctor. Without looking back I stalk out the hopital, almost running to my Mercedes (which still has a dent in it, thanks to my two healthy sons) and quickly jump in. However, I don't start the car, simply opting for resting my hands and forehead against the steering wheel. I've really screwed up this time. For a moment I am lost in thought, and am surprised at myself as I practically jump out of my skin as someone opens the car door. "Sorry," Dr Wells apologises quickly. I simply shake my head. "Your wife just called the hospital; you left your phone at home." He takes a deep breath. "Edward's missing."

Emmett's POV

We don't know how the little human did it, but he escaped. Somewhere in the chaos of us finding out he was going to die, not knowing what to do because Carlisle didn't (when Carlisle falls apart, we all fall apart), and trying to figure out what to do next, our baby brother managed to open his window, and climb out of it. From what we can tell he managed to stretch from his window ledge to the drain pipe close to it, and that was that. As soon as he was sure none of us had noticed, he made a break for it. Ninja style. Or vampire style... but he's never used the drain pipe before.

Anyway, once Carlisle was alerted we all went looking for him. The girls are going through the forest and Forks with Carlisle, while Jazz and I are already in Port Angeles, as it's been several hours since he left, judging by how long we've been looking for him. Because it rained just after he left, it washed away any trail he left behind.

"If you were Ed, where would you go?" I muse aloud, and Jasper simply sighs. "What? You're more in touch with his emotions than I am."

A small smile twitches at the corners of Jazz's lips, but it fades quickly. "Where we wouldn't expect him to be, most likely."

Just as he says that we stop outside a bar, and Edward's scent invades our nostrils. We share a knowing look before stepping inside. And there he is, sitting at the bar staring down into his half-empty glass of beer. "Who the Hell served you?" I ask by way of greeting, glaring at the bar tender. He pretends not to notice, but I can sense his fear.

"I told the guy about my day," Edward says, with absoulutely no emotion in his voice. "He said he would give me one glass or shot of anything I wanted, but if I wanted anything after that I would have to pay and he would have to see some ID." He sighs, taking a swig of his drink. "I've never had beer before. I remember that just before my parents got sick we had a party, maybe it was a Christmas party, and my mother gave me a glass of champagne and my father gave me a glass of wine, but beer wasn't something we had."

"No, I suppose it wasn't," Jasper says quietly, staring at our brother with worry in his eyes. "How are you holding up?"

A bitter laugh escapes Edward's lips. "Alright, I guess."

We sit with him for a long time, allowing him to finish his drink. Jasper sends a short text to Esme to tell her we've got Edward, but he needs time before we bring him home, and that they shouldn't worry. "Where do you want to go now?" Jasper asks once Edward has finished his drink.

He barely hesitates. "I want to get a tattoo."

I shake my head. "No. Carlisle and Esme will kill us."

"Come on," He groans. "Please."

"Sure," Jazz says, and I turn to glare at him.

"Absoulutely not," I tell both of them. I'd like to make it through the decade without being decapitated by Esme.

Jasper simply grins at me. "Aw Emmett, I though you were meant to be the fun brother. Come on Ed, let's go find a place. I'm sure we'll find somewhere that will do it if we tip them enough."

I can only shake my head and follow them as my younger brother leads my baby brother out of the bar. They're idiots, both of them. I tell them I will have no part of this, and yet I'm the one gripping Edward's hand as he gets something tattooed just below his chest. He made us promise not to look until it was finished, and we closed our ears when he told the guy what he wanted. But when it is finished, we look over before it's covered. We can't help the small laugh that escapes both of us.

"Come on, Ed," Jasper sighs. "Let's get home now."

Carlisle's POV - One Week Later

After a long week of discussing treatment and all the other things that we might need or need to do to help Edward, today we are starting chemo. Edward has already expressed a great dislike of needles, so we've decided that the best option for him is a Hickman. It's being put in by Dr Wells under a general anesthetic, and we're just preparing for it. As Edward unbuttons his shirt, however, I catch a small amount of black below his chest. At first I think it's bruising again, so I alert Dr Wells. He takes a look, but then simply laughs and calls me over.

"Oh, Edward," I laugh a sigh as I see. I had thought Jasper and Emmett looked a bit nervous coming home with Edward last week, and now I see why. Just under his chest, on his left side is a tattoo. A tattoo that reads:

I'm too sexy for my hair. On with the Chemo!