Title: throw me a second light
Fandom: DGM
Character/Pairings: Lavi/Kanda, Tyki the wingman but not really
Warnings: dumb dweebs
Summary: Teaching AU. "This is ridiculous. I'm not in high school anymore," Lavi groans into his hands. "Technically," Tyki grins ever so unhelpfully. "You are." Lavi is sure there is /some/ sort of policy against this. LaviYuu.

-kiss kiss fall in love-

Lavi looks at the white stone pillars of a school through its gates and takes a deep breath, action interrupted by a yawn that slips through his lips. He hasn't woken up so early in years—not since, well, high school. College wasn't a problem since attendance was never compulsory, but that was also a couple of years ago. At this time, he's a novelist by actual profession, a poor (but apt!) novelist, which is why he finally applies for a teaching job at this private high school. He only knows this school thanks to his uncle who apparently has some connections with the principal, but he's not going to complain about the rather nice salary that comes with it.

After all, he had tried the whole 'I'm a writer and I need nothing else but air and coffee' lifestyle for two years after graduation—he loved it, but his uncle had not been impressed and there are bills to grudgingly cover, so he supposes that he can kill some time as he waits for muse to strike.

The gleaming whiteness of the school compound makes him squint as he strolls past the ajar gate, place still quiet due to the time. A couple of students are scattered about but none really glance in his direction as he follows the directions on a slip of paper he's holding. While he struts down the corridor with his battered leather backpack humming, he notices someone glancing towards him with the most disapproving stare.

He looks back in reflex—the person is dressed in a sort of kendo garb, long hair tied up with sharp beautiful features. He notices the scoff and dismissal as whoever it is turns and continues along their way, and Lavi raises an eyebrow. He looks at his attire—blazer and ironed pants and shiny shoes—he had to blow, I mean, invest, in clothes that weren't stained cotton shirts or crumpled baggy shorts; he even combed his hair this morning. He didn't even know he owned a comb, which was a delight (and pain) of the day. So, whatever he is judged for, it can't be his clothes. He touches his eye patch self-consciously, a white breathable one, but shrugs a second later. He's been born with the defect, and it hasn't stopped him from getting far in life.

But it does mess with his perception, which causes him to walk into someone who abruptly exits a classroom on his blind side.

"I am so sorry!" the person rushes, bowing, and then pauses curiously when he notices that Lavi isn't wearing a uniform. "Are you looking for the general office?"

"I'm looking for the principal's office actually," Lavi says, inwardly blinking at the crop of white hair and pentagon scar on the other's smiley face. The other looks as young as a high school kid, but the crisp white shirt and vest says otherwise. "I'm Lavi Bookman, the new history teacher."

"Oh," a light of recognition lights up in the other's eyes. "Yes, Komui did mention about you. Allen Walker, I teach English. Why don't you follow me? I'll bring you there."

"Thanks," Lavi nods, adjusting his backpack. "Nice to meet you."

"And you too," Allen smiles. "Nervous about your first day?"

"Kinda," Lavi admits, shrugging. "I haven't taught anyone since college when I tutored for pocket money. I was quite surprised I got hired without a teaching degree, to be honest."

"This school…is a little different," Allen says eventually, not breaking his smile.

"Like snobby rich different?" Lavi blurts before he can bite his tongue.

Allen looks surprised, but then smothers his laughter after. "It's a family run institution. You'll see."

"I do not like the sound of that."

The other man laughs again. "I assure you it's nothing like what you're thinking," Allen says, halting in front of a large wooden double door after a few twists in the corridor.

He knocks gently, opening it after. A man is slumped on the desk, head flat on the surface. Allen doesn't seem disturbed, only to beckon Lavi in further as he walks to the person at the table, gently shaking the other's arm.

"Komui," Allen shakes him again where there is no response. "Mr Bookman is here. Komui!" he huffs, narrowing his eyes. He sighs. "Lenalee said that she—ack—"

"What about my precious Lenalee?" The man abruptly yanks Allen by the tie, bringing them close with a dark expression.

"N-nothing! Um," Allen cocks his head to Lavi. "There's someone whom you're supposed to meet."

"I won't forget this," Komui—the apparent headmaster, huffs before turning to Lavi with a wide grin.

"Welcome! Bookman Junior, was it? Your uncle spoke highly of you."

"Lavi," Lavi nods, taking a bow, but then he blinks. "The old man did?"

"Of course he did," Komui continues. "Now let's see…" he hums, shifting through the papers on his desk, except, the mess of papers did not yield whatever he was looking for. "Er…Reever!" he calls eventually, adjusting his spectacles.

A blond man pokes his head in at the office door.

"This is Lavi, he's the new history teacher. Get him settled."

"You lost his timetable, didn't you?" Reever sighs, rolling his eyes, to which Komui balks at.

"I merely—"

Reever waves his head, ignoring the expected retort. "Don't fall asleep again—Lenalee is on her way with your coffee. Oh Allen, it's nearly time for assembly."

"Right. See you around, Mr Bookman!"

"Lavi will do," Lavi smiles wryly.

"Then Allen, likewise," the other nods with a smile before he disappears.

Reever guides Lavi out of the office and the redhead hurries along with the wide strides. "Okay…So. We anticipated the headmaster losing your timetable, so we had one more printed on your desk. You're in charge of class B-II as their homeroom teacher. You stick with them for assembly and civics classes. Were you sent the syllabus and lesson plans?"

"Yeah, I've got them," he replies, thumbing to his backpack.

"Good. Well, it's your first day, so you don't have to go straight into it. Get to know your students, they'll appreciate the free break too."

They go up two flights of steps before coming to a halt in front of a classroom. A bell chimes just in time, and both of them look up to the ceiling in unison.

"It's about time. Here's the attendance roster," Reever points to a clipboard tucked in a plastic slot fixed to the wall and takes it off to hand it over. "You can assign the class rep to take attendance or you can do it, it doesn't really matter. If I remember correctly you don't have any classes in the first period, so feel free to wander about. Any questions, just ask anyone around, I'm sure they can help. If they can't, find me. I'm in the office next to the headmaster's."

"Thanks," Lavi nods. "I uh, really appreciate this."

"No problem," Reever gives him a pat on the back and grins. "Welcome to The Black Academy, kiddo."

"I'm Lavi Bookman," he introduces, surveying the circle around him. "I…I used to—I mean, I still write novels. I did my Bsc in History, Masters in English literature. Pleasure to meet all of you."

The group chorus their welcomes, and Lavi smiles.

Although he was thrown into a classroom in the very first hour of his arrival, assembly had been rather simple. Students stood up for the school song, sat down for attendance—names and faces have always been easy for him, and spends the next five minutes answering curious questions from the students—where is he from, how old is he, was he born blind, will he date a student, why were his ears pierced, and oh, did he have a tattoo?

He always had good rapport with people and his students too seemed to be the case, wherein he escapes the classroom chuckling and dodging more questions about his personal private life. He manages to find the teachers' offices without too much hassle, and finds himself standing in a circle with the rest of the teachers of the school, all apparently waiting for him.

Miranda Lotto: Art; Krory Arystar III: Biology; Link Howard: Chemistry; Lulu Bell: Physics; Noise Marie: Music; Allen Walker: English; Anita: Japanese; Tyki Mikk: Literature and Lenalee Lee, the headmaster's sister: Geography.

There is just one last person who is left to introduce himself, but the person keeps silent and glares. Lavi blinks, remembering that it is the same guy who shot him that judgmental look in the morning—though, the other has changed out of his kendo garb and is wearing a sports tank, track pants and sports shoes. Curiously, blank curls inked on one of his shoulder stand out stark for everyone to see.

Lenalee elbows the man and shoots him a look.

"Kanda," the other grounds out very reluctantly.

"He teaches physical ed," Lenalee puts in helpfully, because Kanda didn't seem like he was going to.

"Can we go now?" Kanda scowls. "This is a waste of my time."

"Yes," Lenalee sighs, smacking Kanda on the arm. "Gosh, you can try to be less rude? Lavi's new here."

"I don't care," Kanda says, turning around to leave the circle.

"Sorry about that," Lenalee turns to gives him an apologetic smile. "Kanda's a little…rough at the edges. He's a nice person when you get to know him. I have a class so I'll see you later, Lavi!"

No one else comments on the other's behaviour, like it is normal. Most of the teachers give him warm smiles and nods as they disperse to their respective classes.

"Yo."

Someone taps his shoulder and he turns, meeting a taller man with dark skin and white grinning teeth. The other is dressed perhaps the most formal out of all the teachers—a proper suit but no tie.

"Hey," he nods. "Tyki Mikk, right?"

"Tyki's fine," the man smiles, and then leans closer with glittery interest. "You're the author of the Sonata in Seasons series?"

Immediately Lavi pauses, eye widening. "Um. H-how did you…—it's published under a pseudo!"

Lavi has written for pretty much a quite a couple of genres—under plenty of pseudos, except for his non-fiction works. A guilty pleasure of his is historical romance fiction, something he is glad to burn the days writing something different from his usual, not that his uncle is ever to find out.

"So?"

"Yeah, yeah I am," Lavi admits, and blinks when a copy of the first book of the series gets pushed into his hands.

"What?" Tyki raises his eyebrow. "Sign it for me, Deak."

Lavi looks at the book and his expression twists into something incredulous. "Are you serious?"

"Rather hypocritical for you to be you judging me, isn't it?" Tyki says calmly.

"He's just pretending to be cool, but he's really freaking out inside," a light voice passes by, and Lavi looks up to meet briefly meet the gaze of golden eyes from a beautiful dark skinned lady. "He's your biggest fan, Bookman."

"Go away, Lulu," Tyki scowls. "Don't you have some kids to terrorize?"

"Don't you have some sexual harassment cases to deal with?" Lulu smirks lightly before sauntering away, teaching material in her arm.

Tyki sticks his tongue out at her retreating back, and Lavi chokes, amused at the exchange.

"Are you going to sign it?"

"Huh? Oh. Yeah, yeah," Lavi fumbles with the stationary on his desk, pulling out a marker to ink his signature. "This is kind of weird," he admits.

"What is?" Tyki asks as he takes his book back, looking pleased at the copy.

"Well. I've never really got a 'proper' job like this, and I'm not saying this is bad, but…um, this…is different from what I expected from a private high school. Everyone's really nice."

Except for one scowly teacher, so far, but he'd live.

Tyki hums. "Oh, I wouldn't count us nice. Except maybe Missus Lee or the cheating boy," he shrugs. "It's a family run institution, I suppose. You're part of the wacko group now, Bookman. No escape. I'd advise you to make an appointment with a therapist before it's too late."

"Wacko?"

Tyki only grins. "You'll see it for yourself, Bookman."

To tell the truth, Lavi always thought kids were a bunch of devils—but actually all the students in The Black Order were pretty sweet. They were mostly attentive and well behaved during his lessons, though they loved to prod into his private life; he had an ongoing game with his form class, wherein he used titbits of his (unfortunately) truthfully rather boring life to bait his students into accepting more homework or scoring higher on quizzes.

When Allen and Tyki said it was a family run institution, he had been expecting more the sort of a prestigious strict academy with a strong focus on grades. Perhaps it is because the students accepted to The Black Academy are rather extraordinary in their own right that Lavi sees most of them organizing or planning some sort of self-initiated activity after school instead of studying, often with a teacher around to banter with.

His colleagues feel more like friends than professional academics. He never really thought he'd enjoy an eight to five job with a structure, but as a couple of weeks passed, the idea of staying just slightly longer even if muse strikes didn't sound like a bad idea.

Except that was just still one person who didn't seem to like him very much. Lavi wondered why.

"Where the fuck is he?"

Everyone in the teaching office jerks at the sudden slam of their door, turning to look at the fuming man gripping his fists tightly.

"Kanda!" Lenalee glares at him, horrified. "Language!"

"Whatever, there's no kid in here. Where is he?" Kanda repeats, striding in, eyes scanning the office. His gaze zeroes in the crop of red hair. "You," he snarls viciously, storming closer.

Lavi looks up from the planner in which he had been drawing lines, and edges slightly backwards. "Yeah?"

"You," Kanda narrows his eyes at him, low dark. "Don't you fucking dare do it again."

Lenalee's second protest at his language goes ignored again.

Lavi squints in confusion. "Do what?"

Kanda cross his arms and scowls darker. "You ended your class late. Which in turn, made me start my class late."

"…No, I didn't. I always end it sharp on the hour."

Kanda purses his lips. "You end it five minutes before the hour, idiot, when the first bell rings."

Okay. Lavi looks at the other, wondering why the five minutes are such a big deal—he's been ending it on time with no complaints from anyone so far. "No one told me, I—"

"Clearly," Kanda puts in, irritated.

"Fine, I'm sorry," Lavi raises his hands. "I'll take note."

Kanda gives him one last glares before he stalks off. "You better."

The entire office watches the other's retreating back for a second before the low level of murmuring returns back to normal.

"What a dick," Lavi mutters under his breath.

"Don't take him to heart," A hand pats his shoulder and Lavi looks up at Mikk, leaning against the side of his desk. "Kanda's always been like that."

"How is he a teacher?" Lavi wonders, cheek on his palm. "Granted, it was my fault, but that was rude. He has absolutely no patience for anything!"

"Hmm. He does his job well enough, I suppose," Tyki shrugs. "The students love him."

"Really? Why?"

Tyki thinks for a bit. "He's fair with them. The face doesn't hurt either."

"…Really," Lavi coughs disbelievingly. "Sure."

"What, you don't think Kanda's good looking?"

Well. Kanda Yuu is good looking in a purely objective way, Lavi supposes. Even if he's surrounded by gorgeous high school girls, he still has to admit that Kanda's structured features were possibly above par. It's weird though, because Kanda has the longest hair he's ever seen and it's so shiny and pretty, even more than a girl's, but other's horrible deposition really just kills everything within a ten mile radius.

"Not with that scowl."

Maybe it's a jinx.

Maybe because everything else is great, his (non-existent) relationship with one Kanda Yuu has to be the shittest situation ever. It's not that he wants to piss the other off but somehow he does—and Kanda takes the time to yell about it at him when it happens. It happens quite often, which is why no one blinks when Kanda storms in the teaching office cursing, only holding the vulgarities in when he spots Lenalee.

Hence one of the reasons why he hangs around Lenalee, because it is hilarious to see that angry face twist into an uncomfortable expression when he sees the lady with a clipboard in hand.

Thus far he has pissed Kanda off in some examples: by asking students passing by in the corridor to help him carry age old history archives back to the library, unknowing that the students happily agreed in order to skip the sport heats for as long as they could. He has also talked to kendo students when he spotted them in the field, curious since he hadn't seen the dojo around—located behind the main field as he found out—unknowing that Kanda is also the kendo coach and did not appreciate that his students taking a longer break than he gave them.

Kanda is certainly strict in his classes, that's for sure, but that doesn't warrant the near obsessive compulsive type behaviour that Lavi doesn't see why the other can't just relax about.

The other teachers are pretty much more like him; he spends his free periods and sometimes after school wandering the premises talking to students, partly because it feeds his muse for his next book.

He's thinking of writing a young adult coming of age high school romance novel—those seem to be in season this year. He whistles as he wanders to the field track, spotting a lone figure running. He holds up his hand in greeting as he walks closer, and the student pants to a stop.

"Lavi-sensei," the boy greets, bowing slightly.

"Hey," Lavi nods. "It's late, shouldn't you be heading home? Training isn't an excuse to not do your homework. Come on."

He waves the student to take his bag and leave, shaking his head with a smile. That smile eases into something more curious when Kanda appears in kendo garb a few minutes later, wooden sword balanced on his shoulder. The other stops when he sees that the track is empty, and switches his gaze to the redhead standing around.

"Rabbit," Kanda glares. "Where's the kid?"

Lavi doesn't know when or why Kanda gave him such a nickname, but Kanda has special names to call most of his colleagues, so he doesn't really think it matters. At least he's a rabbit and not a beansprout; oh poor Allen.

"I told him to go home."

"You what?" Kanda's temper flares, glare hardening. "Why the fuck did you tell him to go?"

"Language," Lavi retorts absently. "What's the big deal? It's late, it's about time he went home."

Kanda breathes out slowly, once. "The fucking idiot tried to cut my class. It was his punishment."

Well. Ops. "I-I didn't know!" Lavi hastily spits. "I didn't do it on purpose!"

"That's your excuse for everything!" Kanda yells, gripping his sword in a way that makes Lavi step back. "Are you trying to fuck with me?" he demands.

"This swear this was an honest mistake!" he insists. "Besides, I'm sure he ran your laps—"

"Mistake?" Kanda repeats incredulously, taking another threatening step forward. "Last week, you—"

"I didn't know that either—"

"And the week before—"

"I—"

"And the fucking week before that, you—"

"All right, all right! I get it, sheesh!" Lavi yells, annoyed. "I'm sorry, okay? Fuck," he grinds out, scowling. "Look, I'm not trying to fuck with you. It's just…bad luck. Or something."

"Your stupidity," Kanda crosses his arms.

"I said I'm sorry. Don't get your panties into a twist," Lavi mutters, mimicking his posture. "Maybe if you did your job better, Yuu-sensei, I wouldn't have the chance to screw it up."

"That makes no sense," Kanda retorts, and then his eyes narrow further. "And don't call me that."

"Yuu-sensei?" Lavi smirks as he repeats the title. "Why? Clearly you value your seniority over me, Yuu-sensei."

Kanda looks even more annoyed now. "Don't fucking call me by my first name!"

"Kanda!"

Both of them swipe their gaze around when they hear a familiar voice, distinctly female, and distinctly unamused.

"Fuck—shit," Kanda mutters, but Lavi has to give him credit for not hightailing when Lenalee storms over, expression dark. "What?" he grinds out when Lenalee is in their circle, and flinches when she whacks the back of his head. "OW!"

"What did I say about your language? I heard you all the way from the canteen!" she glares. "You're in a school!"

"There's no one around, woman," he grumbles. "And it's not like the kids don't do it either."

"You're a horrible example," Lenalee states. "You should learn from Lavi—he's been with us so much shorter than you have and he's been nothing but an absolute perfect role model for the students."

Lavi nods vigorously and maintains an air of innocence when Lenalee and Kanda glance at him.

"Bullshit. He fucking swore at me—OWWW FUCK!"

Lenalee ignores the exclamation of pain courtesy of her killer heels and grabs his wrist. "We're going to wash out your mouth, mister. Come."

"Lenalee, no," Kanda complains, but he's being forcefully dragged off. Lenalee is a lot stronger than most people would expect. "Woman!"

Lavi smirks, wriggling his fingers in goodbye as he watches Kanda being pulled away against his will, snarling at him.

Since it is apparent that anything he does pisses Kanda off, it doesn't really matter if he does it unknowingly or not. It's not that he wants to make trouble for the other but Kanda could really use a chill pill and be less uptight about his work ethic. He doesn't (purposely) mess with Kanda's classes but he does take the effort to grin cheerily at Kanda when they pass by along the corridors, smiling in a way that so easily annoys the other.

It becomes almost like a routine to tease his uptight colleague. He'd daresay he's already used to Kanda's fuming deposition, such that he doesn't even feel bad at it anymore.

"Yuu-sensei! You forgot your whistle!" Lavi cackles, swinging the said object between his fingers. "How clumsy of you!"

Kanda turns on his heel and storms back to the doorway of the teaching office he just left, snatching the (stolen) object from Lavi's fingers.

"I said stop calling me that, you stupid rabbit!" Kanda scowls as he stalks off, muttering something about being late, but in truth, no other teacher with the same teaching period has left the office yet.

Lavi watches the long hair tied in a ponytail swish in tandem to Kanda's angry steps, amused.

"You know, he's going to kill you one day," Tyki comments when he steps past, some thick novel in his hand.

"Nah," Lavi shrugs. "He's all bark and no bite. Besides, his angry face is so cute."

"…"

Lavi glances at Tyki who just stares at him. "What?"

"Didn't you say something quite the opposite a few weeks ago?" Tyki raises an eyebrow.

Lavi blinks. "What? Oh. Oh, no," he shakes his head, chuckling. "I meant it as a…a general thing. You said he was good looking first. It's funny when he gets mad. It's so different from when he smiles, it's like—"

Tyki cuts him off right there with a flat expression. "What."

"What?"

"Kanda? Smiling?" Tyki blinks rapidly. "What?"

"What? I don't get it."

The literature teacher shifts his book to tuck it under his arm. "Bookman," he starts seriously. "Kanda doesn't smile. I've been in with this whacko bunch of idiots for years and I've never seen Kanda smile."

"Sure he does. When he tends to the gardens, he—"

"He tends to the gardens?"

"Well, not the main garden, but the little patch beside the dojo. He does it every Tuesdays after his last class," Lavi replies slowly. "I always find him there."

Tyki nods just as slowly. "…What's his favourite colour?"

"I dunno. Red, maybe."

"Why do you say so?"

"His hair ties are always red. He also has that red keychain on his sword cover," Lavi answers, confused. "He also likes to use red pens for marking attendance. Why are we playing twenty questions about Yuu?"

"Why do you know so much about him?" Tyki asks suspiciously. "And you call him by his first name."

"…Because it pisses him off? And what do you mean? You only asked me about his favourite colour!"

Tyki hums. "What's my favourite colour?"

Lavi opens his mouth to answer, but he frowns and closes it after. "Hmm," he gives Tyki a scrutinizing look, trying to guess. "…Purple?"

"It's actually white, but there you go."

"I don't get where you're going with this," Lavi shakes his head.

Tyki sighs and gives him a look. "You have a crush on our resident dirty mouth pretty boy, Bookman."

"What?" Lavi steps back, eye wide. "How did that come out of…that?"

"When is Kanda's birthday?"

"6th June, but that's only because Lenalee—"

"And mine?"

"…Um. Um…February?"

Tyki snorts, almost like a laugh. "What's his blood type?"

"AB."

"Me?"

"…A?" Lavi frowns. "You look an A."

"It's an O, actually," Tyki supplies helpfully.

"Okay, noted," Lavi nods. "Where are you going with this?"

"You know a lot about Kanda and nothing about me," Tyki sighs, shaking his head with a grin. "I'm wounded, Bookman. You should save some of the attention you have for Kanda for your mutual friends."

"Just because I didn't know that you're a universal donor doesn't mean—"

"What's the cheating boy's favourite colour?"

"…White?"

"Actually," Tyki smirks. "It's black. But you wouldn't know, because you're just too busy watching Kanda Yuu."

"That…that doesn't mean anything!"

"Oh? Then why are you blushing?"

Instantly Lavi clasps his hands to his cheeks. "I-I'm not blushing!"

"You're not," Tyki accedes with a grins. "It's so fun to mess with you. But I was serious about your crush. You should do something about it," he bumps their shoulders together. "You're in high school after all. Sort of."

"You just want some entertainment," Lavi huffs, to which Tyki did not deny. "I don't have a crush on Yuu. You've been reading too many sappy novels. Read better literature, Mikk."

"I read your books, Bookman."

"…Touché."

For some reason at the end of the month, everyone believes that he's crushing on Kanda Yuu. It's probably because teachers, as Lavi finds out, are the worst gossipers, definitely worse than any high school or college female cliques he's eavesdropped upon. His grin after Kanda's irritated exit after demanding for his hair tie back—because no other fucking idiot would dare steal it out of his desk drawer—slips when the entire office (consisting of three others with free periods for the time) stares at him in silence with knowing smirks.

Nothing is said, but the past few weeks of innocent questions about his non-existent crush and less innocent nudging clearly sets the tone.

"What are you guys looking at?" he scowls, almost pouting.

"This is as good as a classic high school romance, isn't it, Missus Lee?" Tyki taps his head with a paper folder as he makes his way toward the photocopying machine.

Lenalee glances at him with a teasing smile. "Sure does. You're smiling to yourself, Lavi."

Lavi freezes, choking. "I-I don't—I don't like Yuu! Not in that way! Why are all of you so interested anyway?" Lavi grumbles, picking up his pen.

"Bored," Lulu quips as she passes by to her desk, also tapping the back of his head with her hand. "Nothing interesting ever happens here."

"So my love life is of target?" he tilts his head back, narrowing his eyes at the three sets of eyes glanced at his way. "You guys are just as bad as my kids."

"They were the ones who told me you and Kanda would make a good pair," Lenalee comments, flipping a page on whatever she was marking.

"Who? Rhode? Kiredori?" Lavi presses. "How did they even come to that idea?"

"Apparently you talk about 'Yuu-sensei' in class quite a bit," Lenalee answers calmly.

"No, I don't."

"Mmm hmm."

"…That was totally patronizing."

Tyki laughs as he comes back from the photocopier, fresh stacks of paper in his hand. "Seriously, though, Bookman. Haven't you given any thought to it?"

"Why do I need to give thought to it?" Lavi asks, incredulous. "I don't like Yuu that way. I mean, I would know, right?"

Tyki ignores him. "Say, would you fuck him?"

"Language," he retorts on habit, because he's been around Kanda for far too much. "I…What kind of question is that?"

"A simple one," Tyki meets his gaze casually. "Would you fuck him?"

Lavi swallows, suddenly nervous. "…I…Well. He's hot, yeah. I suppose," he admits. "But that's purely objective!"

"Missus Lee, would you?"

"Oh god no," Lenalee chuckles. "He's like a brother—would be too weird."

"Lulu?"

Lulu doesn't even look up from her desk. "He's not my type."

"How is he not your type?" Lavi blurts, eyebrows scrunched. "I mean, what's your type then?"

"Not you," Lulu smirks at him briefly.

"Ouch."

"Well, for me, I wouldn't do him either," Tyki continues, humming. "Too much trouble. See, Bookman, you're the only one."

"Your logic is so flawed," Lavi groans. "Yeah, so what if I think Yuu's hot enough to have sex with? It. Doesn't. Mean. Anything. If anything, if I do end up liking him this will be all your fault from the power of your suggestion and not because I actually like him!"

Tyki shrugs. "I win either way."

"Shut up, Mikk. You're the worst."

It's definitely due to Tyki's influence that he becomes more self-conscious whenever he's talking, I mean, in an argument with Kanda. Sometimes he discovers that he's peering out of the windows when he spots Kanda below—usually he'll shout a greeting of 'Yuu-sensei!' to get everyone in the vicinity to look at Kanda's scowling face, but lately he's been stunned silent, only to realise he's staring when he abruptly feels Kanda's glare on him and the slight confused expression when he doesn't say anything. Other times Kanda will be ranting at him and he'll completely forget to yell back, and he doesn't even know why.

It all has nothing to do with Kanda—yup, absolutely nothing—he's probably just tired or something, especially since he's steady into this job for a couple of months now. He's yet to begin writing his novel, which is a bummer.

"Oi," a shadow towers over him and Lavi cracks his eye open. "Get up."

Kanda is standing over him scowling as usual, using his shoe to nudge Lavi's ribs when he doesn't move. "Get up, you're lying in my way."

Lavi pushes himself up drowsily. He was lying on a patch on grass underneath a large tree vaguely watching students play in the field in the distance, away from the little garden Kanda tended to on Tuesdays. He made sure not to lie in Kanda's way, but he guesses, anything he does will somehow clash with the other. He doesn't even care anymore.

"Isn't your garden there?" Lavi thumbs toward the direction of the dojo as Kanda crouches on where he was lying earlier, scanning the area.

Kanda turns and shift through some tools he apparently brought along, ignoring the question. There are shovels and gloves and five little young plants. Lavi supposes that Kanda is expanding his little home, which was a pretty cute notion.

True enough after some time of staring at the green grass Kanda puts his gloves on and pats the ground, searching for weeds to pull. Lavi sits back down and watches, occasionally turning his attention to the field when hoots of victory come from the students involved in a football game, occasionally looking back towards Kanda frowning in concentration at the ground.

It seems like Kanda just completely ignores his presence—Lavi doesn't know if that is a good or bad thing, but he's 'allowed' to stay, and gets a glimpse of Kanda's upturn lips when he pats down one of the plants into the ground, shovel at the side.

Like he's tried to tell Tyki, Kanda's smile could actually be classified as unnatural because of its rarity, but it somehow really suits the other, even if its soft and gentle, words never used to describe Kanda.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" Kanda's expression is back to a scowl, and Lavi jolts.

"Er…nothing," Lavi raises his hands in defense. "What plants are you planting?"

"Irises," Kanda replies, giving careful attention to his plant again. "Are you just going to sit there and do nothing or help me?"

The question startles Lavi. "You'll let me help?"

It's perhaps an odd question, which is why Kanda pauses to look at him.

Lavi rubs his neck. "You love this place. Given that I screw everything up for you, I thought you wouldn't let touch anything."

"It's just pulling the fucking weeds," Kanda states blankly. "If you can screw this up, stupid rabbit, I have nothing else to say."

"Because you always have something to say to me," Lavi mutters.

"Because you're always the cause."

Lavi huffs, coming forward to pull on the gloves Kanda tosses at him. "It's not on purpose, you know," he says as he squats down next to Kanda. "Well. Some are—wait, don't hit me!" Lavi winces, arms out in defense. "Only the harmless jokes, I swear."

Kanda hits him anyway on the back of his head. He pouts.

"I'm just saying," he lowers his voice as he picks at the weeds below. "I…I'm really sorry. I really don't mean to make it difficult for you," he peers at Kanda who just seems not to be listening. "Really. I'll apologise as many times as you want. Please believe me?"

"I get it," Kanda replies shortly, now focused on digging another hole for his next plant. "You can stop being pathetic."

"Hey. That wasn't very nice, Yuu-sensei."

"I told you to stop calling me that," is the immediate retort.

Lavi pouts. "You're not very nice, Kanda-sensei."

Kanda scowls, but doesn't bother to look at him. "Drop the 'sensei'; it sounds fucking weird from you."

Lavi plucks out another weed before he blinks. "…You're letting me call you 'Yuu'?"

"No, where the fuck did you get that?"

"Language," he says in reflex, disappointed. "'Yuu' is a really pretty name, you know."

Kanda's threatening growl elaborates his death threat with words he can't be bothered to say. "Rabbit…"

"Since you never call me by my proper name it's only fair to let me call you what I want, right?" Lavi shrugs. "Why a rabbit, anyway? Is it because you think I'm cute?"

"Hah?" Kanda scowls at him in incredulity. "Do you ever shut up?"

"You didn't deny it," he teases, but shuts his mouth when he sees Kanda's distinctly irritated expression. "Okay, shutting up."

They manage to work in silence for good long while, long enough that Kanda keeps glancing at Lavi at the corner of his eye, surprised at the obedience.

"What's up with you lately?" Kanda asks, steadily ignoring any eye contact while he pats his last plant down.

Lavi is still busy searching for weeds to pull. "What do you mean?"

"You're quiet."

"You told me to be quiet."

"I asked if you ever shut up," Kanda corrects. "But you never do."

"Such technicalities," Lavi mutters, sitting back on his feet with a tired sigh. Gardening is tough work, despite how serene Kanda makes it look. "…Mikk's been saying I like someone."

He doesn't even know why he says this, but somehow it feels like he should.

"The beansprout."

Lavi twists his head so fast it nearly gives him a crick in the neck. "What?"

"What."

"Was that a joke?" He squints at Kanda's unchanged expression. "That was totally a joke right?"

Kanda snorts in something like a cough though majority of his face stays the same.

"As I was saying," Lavi continues, slightly bewildered. "Mikk thinks I like someone. Actually the entire office thinks I like someone."

"What's your point?"

Lavi wonders the same. "…How do you know if you like someone?"

He glances cautiously at Kanda, because he doesn't know what kind of box he's opening with a question like this.

"Why the fuck as you asking me?" Kanda demands, grip tightening on his shovel.

"You are the one who asked!"

"I didn't."

Lavi huffs. "You did. Indirectly."

Kanda lets out a similar exasperated huff. "…You're not in high school anymore, rabbit," he says eventually, turning his eyes back to his plant. "Why are you freaking out about it?"

"I'm not freaking out. I'm just. I don't know. I haven't dated anyone in a while. I guess I forgot how it's supposed to be like," Lavi answers slowly. "How is it like for you?"

When he hears no answer, he looks over. "Yuu?"

Kanda shrugs.

Lavi blinks. "You've never liked anyone before?"

"No."

"Seriously?"

"What about it?"

"You've never...dated?"

"What's the point?" Kanda shoots him an irritated glare, probably from the repeated questions. "It's a waste of time being with someone I don't like."

"…That's pretty cute."

When Kanda's expression drops to something darker, he realises his mistake.

"Ah—I wasn't calling you cute, I mean, you are, but—um, no, I didn't mean—" he stutters, waving his hands frantically. "I meant, I didn't think you took relationships so seriously, I—"

Kanda presses a hand to his temple. "Just shut up."

"Right. Okay."

"Hmm, Bookman," Tyki raps the back of his head with his knuckle when he walks in, curious. "Why is your face so red?"

"Huh?" Lavi jolts, snapping back to reality.

"Just messing with you," Tyki grins, sliding into his seat at his desk. "But seriously, you look like you're in some kind of existential crisis. What's going on?"

"Nothing, nothing," Lavi says quickly, standing up. "Shit, is it that late?"

Tyki spreads his arms when Lavi takes a hasty look at their office—all empty. It's past six, and the only reason why Tyki is around is because he has a bad habit of lounging in the library at hidden corners picking through the collections.

"Don't avoid the question, Bookman," the other smiles, packing his notes on his desk. "You ended class hours ago. What are you still doing here? Watching Kanda?"

"N-no," the reply comes out too fast and jittery, and Tyki just grins, highly amused.

"Now you're blushing."

"Stop it, Mikk," he protests weakly, self-consciously touching his face.

Tyki pauses and then rolls his chair closer. Lavi tries to back away, but the other grips his chair. "What happened?"

"What what happened?"

"We can go in circles for as long as you want. Lucky for you, I have no date tonight," Tyki states. "What happened?"

Lavi sighs, looking at his hands. "I talked to Yuu. Without the screaming. It was nice."

"And?"

"And. Maybe. Maybe," Lavi reddens. "Maybe I…I might…like Yuu," he mutters, slapping his hand over his face. "Shit, I feel like an idiot."

"How's that any different?"

"Mikk!" he hisses.

"You're not in high school anymore, you know," Tyki grins. "You can just admit that you like him without freaking out like a girl."

"Technically—" Lavi begins, but then decides not to continue. He sighs again. "This all your fault."

"Pray tell, how so?"

"You keep insisting that I like him!" Lavi retorts, annoyed. "I never thought he was cute until you said it—"

"—oh, that was purely you—"

"—and then suddenly Yuu's like everywhere and I keep bumping into him and he keeps yelling at me and I don't even get why but it's cute and—and he told me he's never dated anyone before and I wanted to…k-kiss him, I mean, fuck, what the fuck, I don't get it—"

"Hey, hey, calm down," Tyki pats his shoulders as he breathes heavily, agitated in his rant. "Take your own advice. What did Haruko do when she realised she liked Matsuoka-sama?"

Lavi splutters. "I wrote that from my imagination! This is real life!"

"Same difference," the other rolls his eyes. "So you realise that you like Kanda. Step one, done. Congratulations. Step two, ask him out."

"Isn't there some kind of school policy against this?"

"With what, fraternizing with the enemy? This isn't some super-secret spy organization," Tyki raises an eyebrow. "This cannot be your first crush."

"No, but…but this is Yuu," Lavi groans. "He hates me."

"No he doesn't. If he hated you, he wouldn't give you the time of the day. You talk to him every day, do you even notice that?"

"I guess…"

Tyki snorts and rolls his chair back to his desk. "Just ask him out."

Lavi bites his lip and does not answer.

So far in his life Lavi has dated three times—twice in high school and once in his first year of college, and none of the relationships lasted past a year. In his experience he's always the one getting confessed to and being dumped, something along the lines of him coming off as not being very interested in his significant other. He liked his partners enough and didn't understand what more they wanted, until he knocks his head on his desk repeatedly trying to get a mild concussion in embarrassment after staring blankly at Kanda who had came in to yell at him for screwing something up again, but he doesn't even know what because he was just too busy staring.

The rest of the office lets him wallow in self-inflicted humiliation. Tyki occasionally drops sweets on his desk to cheer him up.

He feels like he's back in high school (technicalities aside) with his first ever crush on his history teacher—she had been so cool and suave and pretty and he had spent the rest of the year chalking up extra credit in order to get into her good graces. Stalking Kanda was almost like stalking her again, during his free periods and after school until Tyki tells him that he's been doing that to Kanda since forever anyway, there is no difference.

Fuck, he's a teacher now, twenty four with a job and an apartment and a cat and he still feels like one of this students in this mess.

Basically: he mopes himself into oblivion.

Tyki isn't a generally very helpful person by nature—he usually takes the back seat and watches things unfold at his own amusement, but somehow he feels obligated to give his favourite author a little push. He's read less pathetic pinning in his books. He tells Allen this much.

"I think you should leave Lavi to figure it out," Allen says as he devours another plate of fried rice in their canteen during their lunch break. "I'm sure he knows what he's doing."

"We can bet on that," Tyki replies, eating his own plate of rice. "But you'll cheat me of that too, so no thanks."

"Never going to let that go, are you?" Allen smiles. "You don't have to worry—Kanda likes him too. Something will happen at some point. I can bet on that." At Tyki's disbelieving stare, Allen shrugs. "I talk to Kanda. Sometimes."

"And he actually said that he likes Bookman?"

"Not in many words," he replies.

"Or none at all," Tyki states knowingly. "Nah, I wouldn't touch Kanda on this. It has to be Bookman. He's much easier to provoke."

Allen cocks his eyebrow. "Matchmaking your colleagues? You're slipping down the ranks, Mikk."

He shrugs. "Why not? We're in a high school after all."

"Indeed we are."

It's a miracle Lavi still manages to keep his classes in order, because when Tyki raps his head, he realises he's been zoning out for the past twenty minutes. Stupid Yuu and his stupid cute—

"Hey, you got a free period now?"

"Uh," a quick glance to his timetable says yes. "Yeah, what's up?"

Tyki drops a small white bottle on his desk. "I borrowed this yesterday and forgot to return it to Kanda. He's probably in the showers now since his last class is over but I've got a class—do me this one favour will you?" the Literature teacher salutes before leaving. "He'll kill me more if I don't return it before he washes his hair. Thanks!"

"Conditioner?" Lavi blinks as he takes the bottle.

Well. Kanda's hair is always so shiny, Lavi supposes it has got to come from somewhere. He has wondered if it's also as soft as he thinks it is—but he hasn't gotten the chance to get close enough to really sink his fingers in. Mmm. Maybe next time, he could steal Kanda's hair tie and have the excuse of tying his hair back up for him. It's a plan that needs more work, Kanda isn't that stupid or willing to have his hair touched…

He thinks about the futile plan all the way to the toilets next to the field. It's empty as expected, because all the other students are in classes but there is one stall with the water running, and so he pads to it. There is merely a curtain that divides the stall from the corridor, and suddenly Lavi realises that if the water is running it means that Kanda is on the opposite side naked and wet.

Okay. Maybe he should've thought more about the situation, but before he can call out to Kanda, a wet hand suddenly grabs him by the front of his shirt and slams him against the (also) wet wall inside the shower stall. The hot spray of the shower soaks his left side while water from the wall seeps into his button up shirt.

"Ow—fuck," he winces, dropping the conditioner bottle as his hands automatically cradle the bruise at the back of his head.

"Rabbit?" Kanda blinks, looking at him in confusion just for a second before his eyes narrow. "What the fuck are you doing?" he hisses, a dangerous hand pressed against Lavi's throat with his entire weight pressed upon the other to prevent him from escaping.

He had heard the footsteps in the corridor and got majorly suspicious when there was no sound thereafter—there had been once where a student tried to take pictures of him in the shower, and there was no fucking way he was going to let another time happen.

Lavi blinks rapidly, coming face to face with a seething Kanda with his hair down and wet, sticking to his rather…naked and gorgeous…body.

"U-uh," he stutters. "Mikk wanted me to return you your conditioner," he points towards the floor where the bottle lies on its side.

He also makes the mistake—or maybe not—of looking down and quickly whips his head up. Shit, his abs. And his—He swallows.

Kanda frowns. "I don't use conditioner."

"…Oh."

There is a three second silence.

"What the fuck are you playing at?" Kanda yells, pressing him harder.

"I swear this isn't my fault!" Lavi cowers, trying to back up as much as possible.

He doesn't care about getting wet anymore since his back is already soaked and his front is getting more soaked from Kanda's wet body, and he's trying his hardest to not be a pervert and stare at Kanda's inhuman godly physique—and his dick.

"That's your fucking excuse for fucking everything!"

"Because it's the truth!" Lavi retorts. "Yuu, let me go, I swear I didn't mean to see you naked!"

"What the fuck—" Kanda freezes as if just realising their predicament, tightening his grip on his neck even further. "You're going to pay for that, you fucking pervert!"

Lavi squeezes his eye close as he anticipates whatever bodily harm Kanda has planned for him to take, but nothing comes even after a few seconds. Cautious, he creaks his eye open and isn't prepared for the hard flick of fingers on his forehead.

"Ow!"

Kanda snorts almost amusedly at his reaction, and Lavi thinks he has got to be the most masochistic pathetic idiot ever because he actually thinks that the noise Kanda made is the cutest thing he's ever heard. Kanda must have been weirded out but the lack of reaction other than his pain, because Kanda frowns at him in confusion.

Lavi doesn't know what possessed him to speak from this point on. "Do you think you could like me enough to date me?"

The frown twists into stark incredulity. "…"

Lavi wets his lips, deciding to fuck everything. "Will you out with me?"

Kanda's grip on him loosens. "…Are you fucking crazy?"

"Maybe," Lavi says, chewing on his bottom lip. Ah well, since he's in it, he's in it for all. "I…I like you. I really like you, Yuu," he confesses, face reddening automatically.

He bits his lip again when Kanda doesn't answer, still sporting that incredulous expression. The silence starts to get awkward and he isn't sure he can blush any harder, from the way Kanda just dumbfounded into speechlessness at his confession. He doesn't know what else to do, so he ends up surging forward to kiss the other.

Their noses bump first before Lavi manages to meet Kanda's mouth, and Kanda makes some sort of a surprised noise that gets muffled. Instantly his arms clutch on Kanda's naked waist to pull the other in tight, pressing his lips against Kanda's harder. His mouth parts—tongue probing into Kanda's mouth and curling over the other's own tongue. Kanda jerks in his mouth at the sensation but Lavi refuses to let him go, tightening his hold even further. It is obvious that Kanda doesn't know how to respond from the clumsy movements of his tongue, but Lavi doesn't care—he kisses the other as deeply as he can—this might just be the one and only chance he'll ever get if Kanda decapitates him after.

Fuck, Kanda is so hot and wet in his mouth, Lavi feel his pants getting uncomfortable with just a simple kiss, it's ridiculous.

When they break to breathe Lavi keeps close, watching Kanda's flushed and heavy breathing intently. It's the cutest sight he's ever had the privilege of witnessing and he wants more.

"Was that your first kiss?"

Kanda seems to snap out of it and steps back, face distinctly red and it is definitely not from the hot spray of the shower.

"S-shut up!" Kanda hisses. "What do you think you're—mmphh!"

Lavi presses Kanda to the other wall with their mouths locked together. "If you don't want this, I'll stop. Just say so, and I'll stop, I swear," but even as he whispers this, he's kissing Kanda again, delving his tongue deep into the other's mouth.

Kanda growls in his mouth and grips the back of his shirt so tight that there're probably permanent finger marks but he doesn't have it in himself to care. His fingers entangle into Kanda's wet hair, wet but silky smooth like he fantasized, palms gentling cradling the other's jaw to kiss him deeper. His tongue coaxes Kanda's inexperienced one to move, and the thought of teaching Kanda to kiss is enough to get him hard.

Kanda's red tint does not fade as he keeps his eye open to watch the other as they kiss—there is no mistake that Kanda is kissing back no matter how clumsy—so fucking cute—and Lavi thinks he might actually be in love.

He's entirely soaked when he pulls back to breathe. "So, will you go out with me?" he murmurs. "Yuu-sensei."

Kanda unexpectedly reddens and shifts—in confusion, Lavi looks down…and smirks.

"Yuu-sensei…" he breathes lowly, rubbing his lips against Kanda's again. He splays his hands on Kanda's bare back and slides it lower, gently curving over his ribs and abs and hips—"Please go out with me."

But before his hands can wander any lower, Kanda shoves him back.

"Fine, fine!" Kanda spits, turning away to walk directly into the ongoing hot spray of the shower. "Get out; I want to bathe."

Lavi watches the naked body get enveloped in hot water and sighs dejectedly. His clothes are sticking uncomfortably to his skin and he doesn't have a change of clothes—also, he has an uncomfortable problem in his pants that Kanda has too—it's totally unfair that he doesn't have a nice shower to jerk it off.

"Then can I borrow a towel, I—"

Kanda abruptly turns to face him, water dripping and pushes him out of the stall.

Lavi huffs at the curtain wisping shut in his face. "I guess not."

Maybe the nurse's office would have a spare towel he could borrow, or maybe he could steal one of Kanda's spare set of clothes later. It's not a big deal, he supposes, because Kanda fucking Yuu is now his boyfriend—ah, the euphoria of a successful confession—he hasn't felt this great in years.

His boyfriend. Fuck. That has a totally nice ring to it.

"Where's my conditioner?"

Lavi yelps the moment he steps out of the toilets and sees Tyki leaning against the wall. A towel is thrown over his head and Lavi uses it to wipe his eye and pat his eye patch dry.

"I'd say I earned myself a placing in your next book," Tyki grins lazily, patting his towel-clad head. "Protagonist. The purveyor of pleasure."

Lavi puffs his cheeks out and dries his hair as much as he can. He doesn't want to say thank you. "…Thanks. I think."

"But really, where's the conditioner bottle?"

"With Yuu. I dropped it when Yuu scared me."

"Pity," Tyki says, eyeing his pants. "It's actually lube, I thought it might help. Expensive too. Get back in there and get it for me."

"What—wait—no, Mikk!"

End.

A/N: This was meant to be a lot funnier and a lot dirtier but I fail so guess I'll keep it as its current cheesy and light hearted nature.

Epilogue: Kinky classroom sex in which Lavi never stops calling Kanda 'Yuu-sensei' pfttttt