Synthesis
"We are most impressed, Dame Lulamoon," Luna said as she began to pace around the magician in a slow circle. "We would not have thought anypony alive capable of piecing together the disparate shards of truth to pierce Our deception in days gone by."
"Disparate shards," Trixie gulped. "Pieced together. Yes. Trixie did that."
"And passing bold as well," Luna continued. "To a degree few mares of this present age could rightly claim. We can scarcely believe even one pony in ten thousand would dare such a challenge knowing the horrors We and our sister can unleash."
"Trixie is very bold!" Trixie blurted. "That is how Trixie became so Great and Powerful!"
Luna cocked an eyebrow. "Indeed? Prithee, fair Lulamoon, do elaborate. We have more than a passing knowledge of the dark entities that stand ready to answer the call of those whom dare to seek for power beyond themselves."
Trixie noticed that the room seemed to be getting darker. She swallowed, choked and then managed to stammer, "Trixie only meant that Trixie has always strove to make herself the best and to rise above her humble origins."
"Verily?" Luna mused. "What say you, sister?"
Celestia stood silent in the back of the room. She regarded her former student with a look that would have been regal and intimidating if she hadn't still been trying to get the bubblegum out of her coat and wings. "I think," she said, "that what matters is finding out what we missed. It brings me no pleasure to harm you Trixie, but you knew the risks when you started this."
Celestia shook her head. "Luna, are you ready to cast the Mindsifter spell?"
Trixie stammered, clearly terrified. Before she could say anything coherent the doors to the chamber burst open. Twilight and her friends rushed in, followed by Cadance.
"Princess Celestia, wait!" Twilight shouted. She wobbled a bit as she stopped. "Trixie doesn't deserve any more punishment!"
Celestia shot a hard glance at Cadance, who mouthed something in return. "I'm listening," Celestia said.
Twilight struggled to compose herself. "I know that Trixie is arrogant and she likes to brag and make up stories. And I know that's really irritating and sometimes it leads to stupid ponies doing dangerous things because they believe her. And that was wrong of her and she shouldn't do it, but she doesn't deserve to be thrown in a dungeon or banished or thrown in a dungeon in the place that she's banished to for it!"
Applejack chimed in. "Darn tootin'. Trixie may be dumber than a bucket full of mud and she's annoying and lazy and won't stop droolin' over my brother and can't work worth a pile of beans, but she…"
Applejack trailed off. She wasn't sure where she had been going with that line of thought.
Celestia continued to regard her former student. Twilight fidgeted. "And I know I shouldn't have overreacted when the Guard arrested Cheerilee, but Cheerilee's a really good friend and I was about to ask her out on a date and—"
Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Date?"
Twilight blushed. "Yes. It was on my to-do list for the day and…"
Twilight babbled on. Celestia and Luna both glanced at Cadance, who mouthed 'holding her leash' and rolled her eyes. Finally Celestia cut Twilight off.
"Congratulations Twilight! You have passed my secret test of character!"
"What?" said Twilight, Trixie and Luna at more or less the same time.
Celestia continued. "Being a princess requires more than just faithfully following instructions. Sometimes ponies in authority abuse their power and act out of petty or evil motivations. Even ponies you think you should trust completely! I had to make sure you understood that and were willing to stand up for what you thought was right no matter what the circumstances, which is why I set up this whole situation with Trixie's help."
"Trixie helped?" Trixie said, clearly confused.
"Really?" Twilight said, clearly skeptical.
"Indeed!" Luna chimed in as she caught on. "My sister is after all well known for the strange and seemingly arbitrary tests she inflicts upon her students. Thus it is entirely believable that she would do such a thing and act in what appeared to be a tyrannical and unjust manner!"
"That is true," Twilight said thoughtfully.
Applejack blinked, then comprehension dawned. "Oh, Ah get it! Makes sense. After all, it's not like anypony would ever really believe that Luna and Celestia became princesses by making a pact with the king of the windigos to sacrifice phoenix eggs and the flutter ponies to him," she said with a laugh.
Celestia gave Trixie a hard look. "Making up unbelievable stories that are completely untrue is a terrible thing to do," Celestia said sternly.
"Verily!" Luna chuckled. "Tis a bald-faced lie!"
Trixie got it. She puffed out her chest and said, "Of course! The Great and Powerful Trixie is happy to have been of service to the princesses in arranging this matter! Trixie also wishes to remind Princess Celestia of the reward Trixie was promised for doing so."
Celestia and Luna both glared at Trixie. Trixie scooted back a few steps in an attempt to place Twilight between herself and any incoming magical violence. When Twilight looked up at Celestia the glare was gone and had been replaced by Celestia's usual gentle reserve.
"Indeed I do remember, Trixie. And I think we all know where we should start."
†
"Hello Ponyville. My name is Filthy Rich, and I have a very small penis."
The assembled population of Ponyville listened in silence in front of Ponyville Town Hall. Filthy Rich gulped.
"I have always been a very insecure stallion due to my penis being so small," he recited. "That's why I've always been so obsessed with making money and putting my name and brand on everything I could."
He gestured to Trixie and Applejack. "I even abused my wealth and power to try to have these two mares imprisoned on false charges because my ego was challenged. But in the end, it was all just an elaborate way of saying 'don't look at my penis.' I realize that now."
He turned toward Applejack and bowed his head. "Applejack, I've known you since you were a little filly, and I've known your grandma since I was a foal myself. I should never have intruded on your property, and I definitely should have taken your advice over my daughter's."
"Hey!" Diamond Tiara protested. Everypony ignored her.
"Can you ever forgive me?" Filthy Rich asked.
Applejack spat on her hoof and extended it. "Ah already have, Filthy."
The crowd stomped their feet. Princess Celestia nodded approvingly. Filthy Rich grimaced and bumped Applejack's hoof with his own. Then he turned to Trixie.
"And I owe you an even bigger apology, Miss Lulamoon. I should never have tried to make you pay for my daughter's arrogance and misbehavior. For that reason, and because my insecurity makes me a poor role model, I would like to ask you to take my daughter on as your personal apprentice so that she might learn to be as great and powerful and virtuous as you."
Trixie considered that. The crowd held their breath and unconsciously leaned forward.
"Yes," Trixie said. "Trixie will take your daughter Diamond Tiara on as Trixie's personal student, for a nominal fee to be discussed later."
"What?!" Diamond Tiara screamed, but she was drowned out by the cheers of approval from the crowd.
When the applause ended Celestia and Twilight stepped forward. Twilight cleared her throat. "Part of friendship is knowing how to say you're sorry and knowing when to accept an apology. As the Princess of Friendship I hereby formally end Trixie's community service and declare her fully rehabilitated!"
Twilight looked up at Celestia and whispered, "That makes sense, right?"
Celestia nodded.
More applause. Trixie looked relieved and began scanning for Big Macintosh.
Celestia spoke once the cheering died down again. "Moreover, in recognition of Trixie Lulamoon's achievements it is my pleasure to declare that you have retroactively graduated from my School for Gifted Unicorns with highest honors!"
An appreciative "Oooh" went up from Twilight. The crowd mimicked her. Trixie looked startled, but pleased.
Celestia's smile turned predatory. "And as a distinguished expert on unicorn magic you are now ready to carry out an important new task on behalf of Equestria."
Trixie looked startled. "What? I mean, of course Trixie is."
Celestia nodded. "I will not mince words; it will be difficult and dangerous. But I have every confidence that you will make me proud, my faithful student."
Twilight beamed. "Congratulations Trixie! Giving homework is how Princess Celestia shows she cares! I'm so happy for you!"
Trixie's smile became frozen as more cheering washed over the stage. Celestia winked and turned away to say something important sounding. Trixie snuck off stage before something else happened. Twilight followed.
Apple Bloom tackle hugged Trixie once they arrived backstage. "Trixie!"
"Omph!" Trixie said, staggering against the force of the Apple filly projectile.
"Ah'm so glad that you're okay!" Apple Bloom shouted excitedly. "Are ya really going to be Diamond Tiara's new teacher?"
Trixie chuckled and ruffled Apple Bloom's mane. "Of course, little Apple Bloom. Trixie is forgiving and magnanimous, and as good at teaching as she is at everything else."
"You've been a teacher before?" enquired Cheerilee.
Trixie waved a hoof dismissively. "No, but how hard can it be?"
There was an awkward silence. Twilight broke it by saying, "So… Are we still on for our book date tonight?"
Cheerilee smiled warmly. "I wouldn't miss it for the world, Princess."
Twilight blushed furiously. "Uhm… actually I was hoping I could call you Princess."
Big Macintosh stepped into view. Trixie tried to think of something to say.
"Big Macintosh! You have come to greet the Humble and—"
Big Macintosh walked over without a word, grabbed Trixie and pulled her in for a hug. This short-circuited Trixie's ability to speak more handily than lack of knowledge, understanding or general lack of thought ever could.
Big Macintosh held the hug for awhile. Trixie decided that Big Macintosh was good at hugging. Being held against his chest felt very pleasant.
Finally he let her go and said, "Ah really appreciate you looking out for my sister like that. You're a good pony underneath and Ah'm glad I got to know you."
Trixie stood there, stunned. Finally she said. "...Would Big Macintosh like to go get some hay fries with Trixie?"
Big Macintosh nodded. "Eyup."