Title: In Which Trip Takes Playing Cupid Too Far
Author: snarkysweetness
Rating: R
Pairing: Skye/Grant with Trip
Summary: Tired of all of the unresolved sexual tension with his teammates, Trip decides it's time to intervene and finally get these two stupid kids together.
Warnings: Cursing and implications of frick fracking
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: I got a prompt on tumblr and I tried to make it work the best I could keeping laws in mind. Basically Trip is a little shit who takes practical joking way too fucking far.

"Hey, hot mama; I need you to sign these," Trip called.

Skye stopped in the hallway before slowly backing up and glancing into Trip's office. She lifted one brow as she curled her hand around her coffee mug. "Sign what now?"

"Some more consent forms for your mission."

She eyed him warily. "How many goddamn consent forms does S.H.I.E.L.D. really need me to sign?"

"You're going undercover as a married woman there's a lot of ass they want to cover. Like injury and death. And yunno," he smirked, "not being liable if you two break the fraternization policy and you end up knocked up." Trip wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Skye scoffed and rolled her eyes as she leaned down to grab a pen. "Don't worry, the T-100 and I won't even be sharing a bedroom. He wouldn't touch me even if I begged, which I wouldn't," she added quickly. Once upon a time maybe, but now?

"I don't know, when I came onto the team you two were pretty hot and heavy. He even killed a man for you, Skye. I've never seen one dude so in lo-" Skye shot him a glare. This topic was off-limits; everyone who wanted to avoid injury to their person knew that. "I'm just saying the feelings are still there."

"Yeah? He has a funny way of showing it." Of course they were still there, feelings like that didn't go away, but no matter how much therapy he attended or how much he worked to redeem himself, he couldn't forgive himself. The entire team had forgiven him but he did everything he could to keep his distance and the person he pushed away most was her which made their undercover mission as Mr. and Mrs. Smith (ugh, typical) all the more exciting.

Skye wanted to shoot herself at the thought of being forced to share a house with him and she never wanted to get shot again. Living in that house was going to be awkward as fuck but she was a loyal agent and when D.C. told her to do something she did it.

"Trip I thought the Golden Rule of our friendship was no interfering in each other's love lives."

"And here I thought it was you ignore how sexy I am so we don't take a tumble and ruin it."

Skye made a face. "Gross." He was like her brother and no.

"What the shit is this," She asked as she tried to pull the paperwork out of its pile to read it. "Marriage certificate? Didn't we just sign something for a marriage license?"

"Just a consent saying you'll be issued one for your cover. And on this page you'll sign with your fake name."

She eyed him warily and grabbed all of the papers to read everything thoroughly.

"Hey, are you busy?"

Skye straightened and smiled, forgetting about her paperwork. "Nope. Just singing more bullshit. Why?"

Grant smiled, reminding her of an adorable puppy. "Coulson said something about quizzing us to make sure we have our cover stories down."

"Sure, let me just read these and then-"

"What's there to read? You need me for these?"

"Actually, yes. Fake name on this one."

Grant leaned past her and signed his name to everything before holding his hand out. "Come on Skye, we still haven't trained today."

She held up her pen regretfully and gave him a smile. "Let me sign these and I'll be right there."

"All right."

She watched him go with a sigh. Once he was out of view she hastily signed the papers and reached for her mug.

"You have it bad."

"Fuck off," she muttered as she left. She could hear Trip laughing behind her and she vowed to find a way to epically continue their prank war before she went under for the next few months.

Pretending to be his wife was bad enough without him being so goddamn adorable all the time. "Almost done," he whispered as he brushed his thumb across her palm. The small gesture sent butterflies fluttering in her stomach. "There." He pressed the bandage into her hand before glancing up.

Skye stared down at him and wondered why in the hell she was fighting off the urge to kiss him. Coulson had insisted they couldn't sleep in separate rooms, they had to make it as real as possible, and she was getting sick and tired of almost hanging off the bed to stay as far away from him as possible. This was so stupid, all she had to do was lean down and-

Grant pressed a kiss to her hand before releasing it.

"Try not to break anymore glasses, Mrs. Smith."

And then Skye exploded.

"You have to stop doing that."

"What?"

"Being adorable! I can't…Jesus, Grant; I can't keep pretending there's nothing here if you keep doing things that remind me why I'm in love with you." There, she'd said it; the big elephant they all tried to pretend wasn't in the room. She was pretty sure the goddamn frost giants knew they were in love with each other. How long was he going to keep punishing himself?

He blinked in surprise. "Skye, I-" He glanced over her shoulder. "Get down!" He cried as he tackled her to the ground a moment before gunfire rang through the house. Great, they'd been made.

"You know, I'm not going to say what we're both thinking," she cried as she reached for her gun.

"Not now, Skye!"

She'd told him to turn up the PDA in front of the neighbors but nope he was a jackass. A stubborn jackass. A stubborn jackass she was in love with. She wasn't sure which one was the idiot here but she was sure one of them was going to get shot.

Lovely.

"Goddammit, Ward, that shit hurts," she hissed.

They'd somehow managed to be undercover a total of a week and Coulson was so furious he couldn't even look at them. Okay, he'd pulled the overprotective dad thing before yelling for Ward to get the bullet lodged in some unnecessary side fat out and then told them he didn't want to see either of them until they found a damn good reason how they'd messed up.

How in the hell were they supposed to know Quinn was working with the Russians they were sent in to infiltrate. Of course they'd been made. She'd told him it would be better to send in someone in but no one was as qualified (other than Barton and Romanoff and well Nat was too well-known now for undercover work). This damn mission had been fucked from the beginning and she was sort of glad to be out of there. She couldn't handle pretending to be Ward's wife for one more day. She'd been so close to jumping him before they'd been shot at.

Hell, she'd almost jumped him when they'd managed to escape. Then again in the car. And then when they'd been picked up by the bus. Fuck, he was ready to jump him now, mostly out of anger.

"Sorry," he said as he glanced up.

She groaned. He had that puppy look again. How was she supposed to stay mad at him ever?

"Don't think we're not continuing our conversation, Grant Douglas."

He stood between her legs and all she had to do was make one move and she'd have him pinned in place so he couldn't escape.

He pressed a rag to her wound to stop the bleeding and avoided her gaze. "It's not a good idea."

Was that really all he had to say?

"Oh, I'm sorry my feelings are just an inconvenience to you-"

"That's not what I'm-"

He sighed and knelt down to finish bandaging her up. A moment later he stood and met her eyes. "Skye…I'm not good for you."

"Don't tell me what's good for me. You're not the judge of what's good for me. I am perfectly capable-"

"I know, but-"

"Hate to interrupt this lover's quarrel, as amusing as it's been to watch, but I have to tell you something."

Skye shot a glare over at Trip. She'd forgotten he was here and now he had a huge grin plastered on his face and she gave him the 'leave now or die' look but for once it didn't work.

"You're going to hate me-"

"What did you do?" Skye threatened.

Grant crossed his arms and they both stared at him while he chuckled.

"Yeah…I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to say it; you're married."

Skye rolled her eyes and hopped off the exam table. "I don't have time for your dumb shit right now."

Trip shrugged and tossed a file on the table. "Fine, but when you're ready to hear everyone's congratulations come find me."

Grant picked up the file and Skye threw her shirt back on. She headed for the door but a panicked Grant called after her. "Skye…we're married."

She sighed and glanced back at him. "No, we were undercover. Did you hit your head harder than I thought?"

He pulled out a piece of paper that looked a lot like a-

"What the fuck?" She screamed as she ripped it out of his hands. Once she looked it over and realized this was an actual marriage certificate. Three seconds later she went after Trip and tackled him to the ground. Before she could punch him Grant grabbed her around the waist and pulled her off of him.

"No, let me kill him!"

She had never in her life seen Trip laugh so hard and she was going to wipe that smirk right off of his face.

"HOW IN THE HELL ARE WE MARRIED!"

"I got you to sign-"

"THERE WAS NO CEREMONY!"

That fucking shit. She knew he'd been up to something. But this was sick.

Trip stood and held his side as he tried to control his laughter. Skye tried to go after him again but Grant was stronger than she was. He pressed his lips to her ear and she was angry enough that it didn't turn her on. "Let him explain himself and then we kill him together," he hissed.

Skye smirked. That was more like it.

"I…oh man," he wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry but…we all got so sick of you two pretending not to be crazy about each other-"

"Trip," Skye warned.

"Right. Well, I slipped in an application for a marriage license into your mission paperwork and when it got approved I just got you two idiots to sign the actual certificate-"

"That's not how a marriage becomes legal, jackass," Skye hissed.

"Yeah, when I told Mama May I was going to play an epic prank on the two of you she happily signed on as your witness and did you know it's incredibly easy to become an ordained minister online-"

"Oh my God," Grant muttered. "And S.H.I.E.L.D. already has our medical records…"

"But…no! We have to get this annulled right now. We didn't know what we were-there wasn't even a-is this legal?"

"Technically," he muttered, stunned. "But it hasn't been consummated so we can just-"

"Yes, we're going right now. We're annulling this now. After I murder Trip."

Skye wiggled around to get free but Grant still held her. She tried to get his attention to let her go.

"We didn't even say vows," Grant muttered.

"IS THAT REALLY WHAT YOU'RE UPSET ABOUT? WE ARE MARRIED BECAUSE THIS ASSHOLE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY? WHO CARES ABOUT STUPID BULLSHIT LIKE VOWS LET ME GO NOW!"

She squirmed and he set her down on the exam table but before she could lunge for Trip again Grant's hands cupped her face and he stared at her with a panicked expression.

"We're married," he repeated and she threw her hands up in frustration.

"Apparently!"

"And you love me?"

Skye bit her lip as she remembered she had in fact confessed to being in love with him earlier. "Uh…yes. But so what? You're totally in love with me too, so…" she shrugged nervously. "But you're a jackass who thinks-"

Grant cut her off by kissing her and all she could think was about fucking time. She pulled him down by his shirt and kissed him back and shit she'd missed this.

"You fucking bastard," she muttered in-between kisses. He was such a moron; they could have been doing this for months if he'd just gotten his head out of his ass.

"I'm sorry, I just…God, Skye, who else would still want me after-"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm a fucking unicorn okay. Don't question it, just kiss me again."

She was not having the 'I'm not good enough for you' talk. It was probably true but who was really?

Grant smirked and kissed her again and this one was a real kiss. The kind that left you weak in the knees. The kind that made her glad she was already sitting and now her legs were around his waist and if Trip didn't leave right now she was going to kill him for real.

"About fucking time," she heard him mutter and she flipped him the bird. "You're welcome," he called and she waited until she heard his footsteps to bit down on Grant's lower lip and run her fingers through his hair.

"Skye-"

"Yes."

"What are we-"

"Sex, lots of sex," she mumbled as she trailed her lips across his jaw before attacking his neck. She'd waited way too long for this.

"But um if we have sex-"

"Oh, who cares!"

Skye reached for his belt and met his eyes. "Let's face it; we were always going to end up getting married, right? I mean…you were going to get your head out of your ass eventually and I was going to take you back and then we'd do the dating bullshit for a while until it happened either on a drunken night or because we decided to and do either of us really want the hassle of a wedding? This way it's done. Now, you have three seconds to decide if you want to carry me off somewhere or if we're going to risk getting caught because I don't care eith-"

He cut her off with a kiss and she could feel him smirking.

"What if we got Trip back in here to marry us for real?"

Skye laughed. "Later."

"You just want to test-drive me before you decide don't you?"

"Damn right, sweetheart."

Grant pressed a kiss to Skye's bare shoulder and she smirked into her pillow before glancing back at him. "There is no way you're ready to go again. It's not possible. Even I need a brea-"

He pressed his lips to hers as he linked their fingers together and pulled her closer.

Well, if he insisted.

Grant pulled away a moment later and she whined. She could totally go for round three. Maybe. If she fell asleep it was his fault.

"So, what are we going to do?" He ran a hand through her hair before letting it rest on her cheek.

Skye sighed. Right. They were married and shit.

She thought about it for a moment before reaching for her phone. She dialed and didn't even say 'hello' when they answered. "Be in my room in three minutes." Then she hung up. She glanced up at Grant with a smirk. "You better get dressed."

Grant gave her one of his confused puppy looks but he let her go so they could both throw on whatever they could find from her floor. He was missing his shirt and she had no idea where her bra was but at least they weren't naked.

"Well, well, it's like the seventies in here," Trip whistled as he poked his head in.

Skye glared before crossing her arms. "Wipe that smirk off your face ass wipe. Since you decided to pull this crap you're going to at least do it right."

"What does that mean?"

She smirked. "You're going to marry us for real, right now. Grant was very pressed about there being no vows," she teased and he rolled his eyes but there was a smile on his lips.

Trip watched them for a moment before chuckling. "You're serious?"

Skye shrugged. "We're not getting divorced and why the hell not?"

He stared at them for another minute before being taken over by uncontrollable laughter again.

"Did Jemma inject you with something again?" Then the light bulb went off in her head and she hit him hard. "You are such an asshole!"

Grant groaned and ran a hand over his face. "It was faked wasn't it?"

Trip laughed and wiped away a tear. "No, the paperwork was all real but I'm not a big enough asshole to actually file it but man-" He laughed again. "Oh man, you two-oh, you're welcome."

Skye punched him.

"Ow!"

"Leave."

Trip kept laughing and she slammed the door after him. She felt well like an idiot and like if she saw him again she'd kick his ass. She glanced back and found her idiot partner smirking. "What?"

"You were ready to marry me."

"Yeah, so? You wanted to marry me too."

"You argue like a child," he whispered as he reached for her waist.

Skye smirked. "Yeah, well, I'll show you how childish I can be," she whispered as she leaned up to kiss him.

"What's so funny?" He whispered.

"You know…we could get the team back by eloping." She had no doubt they'd all been involved in this. She wouldn't be surprised if there had been a hidden camera somewhere to catch their reactions in the infirmary.

"Or we could just-" he pressed his lips to her neck and made a mental note to send those bastards baked goods because while their methods were uncalled for they'd worked.

Skye pulled him back to bed where they continued to do very married things.