His arms were wrapped loosely around her bare frame under the furs, breath tickling down her neck as he slept. It was comfortable and quiet but it did not cease the strange clenching inside her heart.

She had been emotionally compromised long before his return. Despite her confession, while she had felt some relief, fear still throbbed within her.

"Hiccup?"

"Hmm."

Astrid shifted, facing him directly now. His eyes were shut but there was a visible creak forming on his temple.

"We can't keep going on like this…" Her voice trailed off as he let out an exasperated sigh, drawing a firm hand over his drowsy face.

"So what do you suggest we do?" he mumbled.

She bit her lip, hesitating for a moment.

Hiccup pulled himself into a sitting position, half-resting against the wooden headboard. He motioned her to proceed with a nod.

"I would like to apologize," she began nervously, "for doubting you."

Hiccup nodded again but a sullen look suddenly crossed his face.

"I don't understand. I thought you were happy, Astrid," he said, avoiding her eyes. "I thought you knew what being the Chief's wife entailed."

"I thought I did too," she let out a humorless chuckle. "I just never…" She mumbled, "I mean I always sort of knew but…"

"What?"

Astrid shook her head, staring at her fumbling fingers self-consciously.

Hiccup reached out to cup her chin and force eye contact. Astrid swallowed when she looked up at him.

"I…" She started, sighing, "I chain you down."

"You keep me grounded," he corrected her, softly.

She shook her head again. "You were meant for the sky, for far more than what this heap of rock has to offer."

Hiccup huffed irritably. "Being Chief is what my father always envisioned for me."

"What about what you want?" she murmured.

"It doesn't matter, Astrid. I've made a commitment, I can't just back out of it now."

Astrid closed her eyes, inhaling sharply.

"That's not living, Hiccup," she whispered. "That's just… enduring."

Hiccup did not reply, unable to deny it.

Instead he closed his eyes, sinking back into the furs. Astrid blinked, sitting still for a moment until she felt his arm reach out to drag her along. She felt her weight settle down but her eyes still roamed over his face questioningly.

"We should get some asleep. It's been a long day," he finally uttered at last but remained frozen in his position, an arm draped over his eyes.

When he gave no further response, she let out a disappointed sigh.

He slipped into unconsciousness again quickly, leaving Astrid to ponder alone as usual.

x-x-x

Astrid passed by Valka on the way to the kitchen area. She began readying a pot of water to boil over the fire while preparing leftovers from the night before, her movements harsh and shaky.

Valka eyed her curiously. "Are you alright?"

Astrid forced a smile to greet her mother-in-law.

"Um, yes… just a bit restless. It has been a tiring week."

"Indeed." Valka did not seem overly convinced but let it pass.

She turned to see Hiccup striding down the stairs, wearing a similar worn expression.

"Morning," he mumbled unenthusiastically, an arm resting on Toothless' playful head grinding into his side.

"Morning, dear," Valka replied cheerfully, attempting to lift up the morose atmosphere. She giddily tapped on the empty seat next to her. Hiccup rolled his eyes but walked to her side and slumped down wordlessly. Toothless offered a gummy smile, which Valka heartily returned along with a scratch on the nubs under his chin.

Apart from lively roaring in the background, the rest of the breakfast was spent in dull silence for the most part. Valka attempted several times to perk up conversation but Hiccup and Astrid appeared reluctant to participate. Feeling fessed up and slightly disheartened, Valka eventually dared herself to speak up.

"The weather today is very appropriate for flying," she began, watching them with a twinkle in her eye, "I suggest the two of you take the day off, get away for a bit. I'll keep watch over Berk while you are gone," she encouraged.

Hiccup looked like he was about to protest but Astrid's voice cut him off.

"That sounds like a great idea, thank you." She smiled her first genuine smile of the week.

-x-x-x-

His russet hair glowed in the sunlight but it was the brilliant smile that caught her off guard. The wrinkles on his temple paled in comparison to the tugging at the curve of his mouth.

He was beautiful like this, hair tousling in the wind and cheeks reddened from the chill. It was a sight she had dearly missed.

They ended up on Itchy Armpit island after flying steadily for several hours. Nostalgic feelings welled up in her chest when she rediscovered the scenery. It was as stunning as she remembered.

Hiccup slumped down on his favorite spot and Astrid followed suit but made sure to keep some distance between them. Her hand grasped the grass next to her, nervously pulling on the strands as she turned to face him. He looked deep in thought as usual, almost to the point of ignoring her presence.

Astrid let out a sigh, snapping him out of his reverie.

"You know, Toothless and I come here often," Hiccup began with dry chuckle.

Astrid frowned at the ground, silently bracing herself for the upcoming conversation.

"We always make sure to stop by here, whenever we can. The view is unlike anything I have seen."

"Surely you must have seen much more wondrous sights in those distant lands you visited."

Hiccup shook his head. "There is an incredible world out there but it's too convoluted for my taste."

His eyes were glued to shifting skies blocking out the strong sunlight. She wondered how he was able to sit with his head leaned back for such a long extent of time. His neck looked stiff and she resisted the urge rub it.

"You were gone for a long time," she mused. "What kept you away?"

Hiccup scratched the back of his head, shifting awkwardly before finally uttering, "guilt."

She eyed him curiously as he moved closer, taking her hands in his, squeezing them. Warmth spread from her fingertips and tingled her heart, momentarily subduing her qualms.

"I should have taken you with me the first time," his voice was smooth, eyes glittering. "You had wanted to come along but I outright refused you."

She opened and closed her mouth a few times.

"Yes but-"

"It wasn't fair. Everyone had brought his or her spouse along," he continued, leaning his forehead against hers, breathing in her scent. "It was meant to be a celebration rather than a traditional gathering..."

Astrid stiffened in his arms.

"You always knew that?" she asked faintly, earning a solemn nod from him. "But you didn't tell me," she muttered to herself.

"I'm sorry."

Astrid closed her eyes, forcing herself to stay in check. "I guess I can understand to some extent."

Hiccup lifted his head away, looking at her searchingly. She wore a neutral expression.

"You can?" he echoed.

"I'm a constant reminder of Berk and all your obligations. It would not make much sense to have me there."

She could sense irritation igniting deep within his irises.

"You are much more than that to me, Astrid," he spoke in a rough tone.

"Besides," she continued, ignoring his outburst, "you already have a… companion."

"I'm afraid your understanding seem to be rather misguided." He glared at her now, a scowl forming on his face. Their peaceful morning was starting to turn sour.

"It's not the same. You know it's not," he reasoned.

She shot him a sad smile, voice cracking, "I know. Toothless is your soulmate. I'm completely…"

His frown deepened as she forced herself to finish her sentence.

"…Replaceable."

She immediately wanted to take her words back as soon as she uttered them. It did not matter how true they rang. Somehow voicing them put her in a more fragile state.

"It this truly how you feel, Astrid?" The nonchalance in his voice nearly startled her. She could feel her heartbeat picking up and face flushing in shame.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, tears prickling in her eyes.

He nodded, standing up.

-x-x-x-

The flight back home was consumed by silence. Hiccup set a fast pace, subconsciously challenging her to keep up with him. Astrid wore a stoic expression to hide her distress. She was at the verge of a breakdown by the time they arrived home.

She soon found herself standing alone in the darkness of their living room. He had left for the forge almost right away, offering no further comment on the matter. She took deep breaths to calm her sobs down but ended up curling on the floor, tears running freely.

Unbeknownst to her, Hiccup returned shortly to retrieve a tool and was completely taken aback by the sight of her. He kept himself hidden in the shadows, unsure of how to approach her, and eventually ended up leaving her be.

-x-x-x-

The bed dipped next to her, accidentally stirring her awake. She attempted to remain unaffected by his shuffling and shifting. It was past midnight but she had not anticipated his return tonight.

He stayed still beside her for a quiet moment, his breathing slowly becoming synchronized with hers. She felt herself beginning to doze off until his hot breath suddenly trickled down her neck, alerting her of his close proximity.

He ran a hand through her golden tresses and cupped the side of her face.

"You are right," he whispered, lips tracing the curve of her cheek. "Toothless is very important. He is almost like a brother to me."

Astrid snapped her eyes open.

"He is the reason I stand here today, albeit fatherless and on one leg," he chuckled, fumbling with the straps of her shift. She resisted the urge to push him away as he started to peel them down her arms. She shivered when the cool air caressed her now exposed upper body.

"And the only reason I wanted to capture a Night Fury in the first place was to have you look my way," her eyes met his in the dark. He leaned down to kiss her forehead.

"Toothless gave me strength and a choice to leave Berk for good. But I decided to stay and face the Monstrous Nightmare, then the Green Death and… my father," his eyes felt misty suddenly, "because of you."

He buried his face in her neck, palm flattening against her chest. "I owe my soul to Toothless but my heart is wholly yours. It always has been... since I first laid eyes on you back when we were kids."

Astrid inhaled, unable to respond.

"I never wanted to make you feel like you were unimportant to me. Or…replaceable." He entwined their fingers. "Both you and Toothless are equally important to me in your own respective ways. I'm sorry I ever made you feel otherwise."

Astrid finally encircled her arms around his middle, her voice cracking as she spoke, "I don't deserve you." She buried her face in chest, "this whole mess is all my fault."

Hiccup gripped her chin, raising her head up. "No, it's not," he told her firmly. "I am as much to blame as you. I should have spoken up instead of pushing you away."

Astrid sniffled, gripping onto his tunic. "I want us to be okay again…for you to be able to trust me."

He rolled them over so he was hovering above her again. "We will get through this," he promised, covering her neck with sweet kisses.

Astrid nodded, helping him rid of his tunic. He gripped her bare hips lightly, "I'm sorry I have been so rough with you lately," he nodded toward their tangled bodies.

She shook her head, "I deserved it," and gripped onto his shoulders to brace herself.

"Let me make it up to you," he whispered before lowering down to kiss her earnestly.

-x-x-x-

Astrid was safely tucked into Hiccup's side with a hand resting on Toothless' head when they entered the Meade Hall the next morning. The villagers had taken notice of a change in their relationship from the past few days. It soothed them to see the couple laughing and drinking in complete ease with their friends and family now.

Across from the deep hall, a pair of dark eyes watched them with intrigue.

I might write another chapter to elaborate on a few matters. Let me know :)