Chapter 38 – The Plan & The Past

Dinner was as good as Jane had imagined and they sat in the restaurant holding hands every chance they got.

Lisbon mused 'You make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, you know, the way you look at me sometimes.'

'Well you are to me. I especially like how it unnerves you, I adore making you blush.'

Lisbon giggled. 'Yeah, I've noticed over the years. So, Romeo, are you going to fill me in on what your plan was the last time we were here?'

Jane looked a little sheepish and glanced away for a second before he answered her 'You won't be impressed.'

'Am I ever impressed by one of your plans? Come on, out with it.'

Jane grinned. 'Right here at the table Lisbon? Can't you wait until we get back to the room at least? You really are insatiable, woman.'

Lisbon laughed. 'Stop trying to change the subject, tell me.'

Jane exhaled and leaned back in his chair then nodded. 'Well, Cho and Abbott were not supposed to be at dinner for a start, it was just supposed to be just us two.'

Lisbon nodded. 'I figured out that much myself. So, the two of us are at dinner together, then what?'

'Well, we had had a nice couple of days here, right? It was fun and you were relaxed. When you came down the stairs you looked...well you looked almost as beautiful as you look tonight.'

'Enough of the compliments, stop stalling.'

Jane smiled, conceding the point and continued. 'Well I planned on telling you how much I was going to miss you, reminisce with you about previous cases we worked on, tell you that it wasn't going to be the same for me without you in Austin.'

'So you were planning on trying to guilt trip me into staying? You had already tried that, it wasn't working.'

'Mmm, I know. Well that was plan A. See if I could change your mind by saying those things in a different setting. I was hoping perhaps the nice food and the attentiveness I showed you might be enough for you to have second thoughts. But I had already prepared myself that I would probably have to move on to plan B.'

'Plan B. So, what was that, your plan to seduce me instead? I mean the dresses, dinner, adjoining rooms, that's what it was all leading to, right?'

Jane shifted a little in his seat. 'I don't know if I would call it seduction per se, it was more of a way of charming you into staying I suppose. Anyway, after dinner you would have to come back to my room-'

Lisbon looked surprised. 'Would I?'

Jane nodded. 'If you remember we were expecting the murderer to show up there so a trained FBI agent would have to protect me, naturally.'

'Of course, couldn't leave you all alone, could I?'

'Well, I figured it wouldn't take too long for him or her to arrive, I was pretty right about the timing actually. So I guessed a couple of hours to process so that would get you finished about midnight at the latest.'

'So what then?'

'Well, I would be in my room of course waiting for you to finish up. When I heard your door close I was going to wait a half hour or so until you got settled in bed before I rang your room.'

'Okay.'

Jane continued 'Well, I was going to ask how the processing went, what they would be charged with, all that type of stuff.'

'You mean all the stuff you really didn't give a damn about.'

Jane smiled and nodded before continuing, 'Well I had to use some of sort of pretence to call. So then I would tell you that it was full moon and ask you to join me on my balcony to look at it, have a nightcap together for old time's sake before we went our separate ways in the morning.'

'You couldn't have known I would have come to you.'

Jane smiled and caressed her face. 'Of course you would. I saw it in your face as you came down the stairs that evening; it was more than just a dinner between two old friends. You were hoping I would make a move on you or a declaration of some sort at least.'

Lisbon blushed a little. 'So okay, I've come to your room and we're having a nightcap together, what then?'

Jane shrugged. 'I was going to tell you again how much I was going to miss you, how much our friendship meant to me over the years and that I hoped Pike was going to make you happy.'

Lisbon looked surprised. 'Really?'

Jane nodded. 'I was going to finish by looking into your eyes, maybe caress your cheek and then give you a chaste peck on the lips.'

'That was it?'

Jane nodded. 'I hoped even by doing that you would realise that he wasn't the man for you. It was pretty arrogant to think that's all it would have taken but there you go. I hoped that it would instil a reaction in you instead without me having to give any more of myself away.'

Lisbon thought for a second. 'You were hoping I would return the kiss?'

Jane nodded and answered with his eyebrows raised, 'Are you going to tell me you wouldn't have in that moment?'

Lisbon smiled. 'Most probably. She looked into his eyes and continued, 'Okay, most definitely. You know I wouldn't have been able to resist.'

Jane smiled. 'Well that was it really. The rest I was going to leave to you, see how far you wanted things to go.'

'I think we both know how far it would have gone, we wouldn't have been able to stop at just a few kisses.'

Jane blushed. 'Probably not. In any respect, whatever happened I was confident it would be enough for you to change your mind about D.C.' He looked a little embarrassed and added, 'I knew it would be enough for you to hope there was a future for us instead.'

Lisbon regarded him. 'You still weren't going to tell me you loved me. You were intending for us to go back to Austin where you would have probably put it down us losing our heads for a little while in a romantic setting and for us to go back to how it was between us before instead.'

Jane shrugged. 'Pretty cowardly, huh? There was a major flaw in my plan, though.'

Lisbon eyed him sceptically 'There was?'

Jane nodded, taking her hand. 'Well, I didn't realise it then but now I know that be it one kiss or one night with you would only make me want another, again and again, every day and every night.'

They lay in bed that night, listening to the waves gently lapping outside their window, their naked bodies entangled around each other, beads of sweat glistening in the dim light of the moon streaking across the room.

Lisbon asked, her fingers dancing across Jane's chest, 'When did you know that you loved me? You said that it was good to finally say it out loud. How long did you realise before then?'

Jane sighed contentedly, almost asleep from Lisbon's gentle touch. He murmured 'That's a hard question. To be honest, I'm not sure. I always thought you were cute, I may have been heartbroken but I'm not gay. But I think I really started to have different feelings for you around the time of the McTeer case'.

Lisbon looked up, leaning on his chest. 'The child rapist? But that was what, about ten years ago? There's no way you've felt like this about me since then.'

Jane chuckled, his eyes still closed. 'Well, I didn't say I felt like this about you back then. I said that I began to have different feelings about you.'

'He opened his eyes to look down at her and added, 'You let me see a vulnerable side to you for a change, let me see a little bit of the Teresa I had only imagined and perhaps had a glimpse of before then. How could I not find that attractive? Plus, when you were in your apartment that night wearing that football jersey, well, let's just say it wasn't just us getting the psychiatrist to confess that night that made me happy.' He began to laugh towards the end of the sentence.

Lisbon smiled back. 'So when did it become more than mere lustful thoughts?'

'It's hard to say really. I think it may have been when you punched Donny Culpepper in the face, hard as that may be to believe. You have no idea of what I had tried to do to get him out of jail and you just came in, took over and sorted it out. It made me realise finally that I couldn't keep everything to myself, that I needed to trust you and that I could trust you. But I think I finally knew I loved you when O'Loughlin shot you. I sat frozen on the other end of the phone, I could hardly breathe.' Jane stroked Lisbon's cheek, remembering the terror he had felt.

Lisbon snuggled back down into his chest as he asked 'Do you want to know when I knew for sure how much you loved me?'

'Well, that can't be too tough for you, I'm an open book, right? I'm sure you knew I had the hots for you for years.'

Jane chuckled a little, tracing circles into Lisbon's back. 'Well, yes, I knew you found me attractive naturally for a long time. I mean, I'm a fine specimen, who wouldn't?' he laughed.

Lisbon giggled a little. 'So go on, then. You obviously want to tell me something.'

'Remember the day I got acquitted of Timothy Carter's murder?'

'Of course I do.'

'Well, you were waiting for me outside the courtroom that day. You were smiling and obviously relieved I'd got away with it. But you thought that Red John was dead, right? And before you got into the car you gave me a look of...I'm not sure how to describe it actually. It was like a mixture of happiness, anticipation, excitement and desire.'

Lisbon answered 'You got all that from just one look?'

Jane nodded. 'Well, I guess that's when I knew for sure. Or, at least, that's when I allowed myself to know for sure.' He paused for a second and swallowed a lump in his throat. He said softly 'You know I almost gave into it that day, the idea of being with you.'

Lisbon's head jerked back up. 'What? Then? But Red John wasn't dead?'

'I know but you didn't know that. For a few minutes I thought about not telling you. Letting you believe that he was dead. I even fantasised for a few minutes about convincing myself that I had killed him. Fantasised about going to your apartment that night and holding you and giving myself to you, finally letting you know how I felt about you and allowing myself to be loved again. I imagined the softness of your skin against mine, your arms around me and how sweet and tender our kisses would be...' Jane's voice trailed off, his eyes looking in the distance.

Lisbon answered 'I'm glad it didn't happen like that.'

Jane looked at her again. 'Really? If I could have convinced myself that it was him then we could have had all this years ago, you wouldn't have wanted that?'

Lisbon shook her head. 'Well, there's no way you could have convinced yourself of that for long. And until then we would have started up something based on a lie. Then, when you did finally tell me the truth it would have hurt me twice as much.'

'Well, you finally know the truth of how I feel now, that's for sure.'

'Yes and I love you for telling me at last, no matter how long it actually took you.'

Jane grinned. 'At last, I thought you were never going to tell me you loved me.'

Lisbon looked at him, confusion all over her face. 'What do you mean? I've told you that before now, I must have.'

Jane shook his head. 'Nope. You've told me that you feel the same way about me when I've said it to you, or you've said 'me too' or 'I know'. By the way, I really don't care for 'I know'.'

Lisbon bit her lip and smiled. 'Well, in any case, since when do I need to tell you anything, you know what I'm thinking before I do sometimes!'

'Well, it's still nice to hear the words.'

He paused for a second as they looked into each other's eyes and then added, 'Say it again.'

Lisbon's eyes lit up and she was transported back to the TSA holding cell a few weeks back. She tilted her head coyly and replied, 'Say what again?' before moving forward enveloping Jane in a long lingering kiss.

- THE END –

A/N: I would just like to say a massive thank you to all the readers of my story and especially to all those who have taken the time to post reviews. I am truly overwhelmed by the response and don't think I would have managed to complete this without all your kind words.

Now that I have the fanfic bug I have began writing a new Mentalist story as a follow up to this one. It's titled Consequences of Fear and is set around three months after this one (it is a sequel I guess but you don't need to have read this story first, I'm intending it to be able to stand on its own). It is pretty much all Jisbon but Cho, Abbott, Rigsby, Van Pelt and a couple of new characters will feature too. There will be no (or very little) mention of RJ and very little case work either. If you've read this one then you know I like to take these two on an emotional rollercoaster so that will be its main focus. Hope you take the time to read enjoy.