You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win?

-Dr. Seuss

"Potter!" a voice yelled from behind him. It had been a few weeks, and James was walking better than ever. "Potter!" James turned to see Evans pushing her way through the mass of students. James was thoroughly annoyed. It was Saturday, and Sirius, in a bout of spitefulness, had let James sleep through breakfast. The rest of the school was going to Hogsmeade. They would get to drink butterbeer (which his mum wouldn't let him try) and firewhisky (which his mother would kill him rather than letting him go within thirty feet of it). And go to Honeydukes. Where they had Pepper Imps and Droobles Best Blowing Gum and Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans and Acid Pops and Cockroach Clusters and mmmmmm... James' mouth began to water at the thought of all of the chocolate he wouldn't be allowed to eat.

Sirius and James, as a result, currently weren't speaking.

Evans caught up to them, panting slightly. "I couldn't help but notice... You guys weren't at breakfast." Sirius scowled. James pretended not to notice. "Gosh, Black, no need to look so hostile. I was just going to inform you where the kitchens were, but—"

"Evans. You have to tell me," James begged, gripping her shoulders. "I didn't eat dinner last night."

Evans, appalled, gasped, "Why not?"

"I was in detention," James replied, "Now tell me where to find the bloody kitchens!"

Remus turned the page of his book."Language, James." He continued reading Hogwarts: A History. James rolled his eyes and waited for Evans to enlighten him.

"Go to the Entrance Hall, down the stairs, to the left. About halfway down the corridor, there's a painting with a silver bowl of fruit. Tickle the green pear." James raised his eyebrows.

"How come you're telling us this?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

Evans raised an eyebrow. "I can't bear the thought of anyone going hungry, even if it is just for a few hours." James began to walk away. "Oi! Potter, Black, Remus, Peter!" They turned to face her again. "I expect to be the first to know when you find a secret passageway."

Remus grinned. "No problem, Lily."

"Yeah, Lil. You'll be the first to know," Peter assured her.

Sirius winked, sending a wave of annoyance through James. "Don't fret, little flower." Sirius ducked as Evans attempted to whack him over the head with her very heavy book.

"See you, Evans." James sprinted down six flights of stairs to the Entrance Hall, then another. "Did she say left or right?" mused James as the others caught up to him.

"I think it was right..." replied Peter, uncertainty lacing his features.

Remus nodded. "I'm pretty sure it was right." James shrugged and they turned right. They studied the pictures on the walls until they found a golden bowl of pears.

"What colour was it? Green?" James pointedly ignored Sirius' question.

"No, red," insisted Peter, his voice definitive. James reached up, but couldn't quite touch the red pear. Sirius, however, could, and he tickled it with a smug look in James' direction. James scowled and jumped up to grab the doorknob formed by the red pear as it gave a hearty laugh. His fingers closed around it, and he swung with the door, hitting the wall with a loud "Oof!"

Sirius laughed as James let go and fell to the floor. James shoved him through the circular hole in the wall that had been revealed. Sirius tripped and fell on his face in the plush black carpet. Remus rolled his eyes and slipped in, his long legs bending to accommodate the small space. Remus helped Sirius up, his pine green eyes roving over the room.

"Guys..." Remus began, "this isn't the kitchens." James looked around. The walls were a buttery yellow and the door and window frames where made of honey-coloured wood. The floor was covered in a thick black carpet, already warm from the sun beating down through the windows. The couches and chairs were a smooth yellow.

Wait. Couches?

Why were there people on the couches?

"Sh—"

"Language, Sirius," Remus said vaguely, backing out the door. Sirius, being his clumsy, clown-footed, idiotic self, tripped on the way out, grunting in pain. The sound drew the people's attentions.

"Oi!" someone shouted. James hauled Peter out and slammed the door shut, grabbing Sirius' shirt and running. They ran past the stairwell and halfway down the corridor befor leaning against the wall, gasping for breath.

"Well," Sirius gulped, "I think we found out where the Hufflepuffs live." They began to laugh, at first little giggles that morphed into normal people laughing, then out-of-breath, full-on, hearty guffaws. James laughed until he remembered he was mad at Sirius for being a spiteful, haughty little jerk. He stopped abruptly and surveyed his surroundings. Just across the corridor was a painting.

A painting.

With a silver fruit bowl.

That had a green pear in it.

James groaned and tickled the green pear, which giggled and turned into a big green handle. He put his head on the handle and glanced back at Remus, Peter, and Sirius.

"Go on, then," Peter prompted. "The worst that can happen is its Ravenclaw." James shuddered.

"Oh, the horror!" Sirius wailed, falling to his knees. "All the books, and the parchment, and the ink, and the studious people!" Remus whacked him upside the head. James steeled himself, then yanked the door open.

This place was bustling with little people. Little people with flappy ears and big eyes. "What are these things?" breathed James, eyeing them with wonder.

Remus, Peter, and Sirius looked at him with raised eyebrows. James felt a pang of guilt and anger when Sirius looked away quickly. Peter was the one who spoke. "I would've thought you knew, seeing as the Potters are an old pureblood family... These are house-elves, James."

"Oh! So these are house-elves!" James exclaimed, kneeling and staring at them all. "My parents told me about them..."

"Masters!" squeaked one. "What can Tiddly do for you?"

Sirius cleared his throat. "What's your name? Tiddly?"

"Yes, Young Master."

Sirius grinned and knelt. "My name is Sirius, and I'm cool. This is Remus, he's brainy. That's Peter, he's unexpectedly wise at times. And this," Sirius ruffled James' already untameable hair, "is my best friend, James, even though he's a prat." James blinked. "So, Tiddly. We missed breakfast. What d'you say to making us some buttered toast and bacon?" Tiddly beamed and ran off.

"Huh. These house elves are really nice," Sirius muttered. "I wish all of them were like that." Sirius led the way to the four replicas of the house tables and sat. "So, James, why didn't you know what a house elf looked like?"

James squirmed in his seat. "Well, my parents don't really... They always told me that slavery was bad."

"Wish my folks told me that," Sirius grumped. "Then I wouldn't have to deal with Kreacher." Sirius spat out the name, as if it tasted bad. Sour. James' leg was bouncing nervously. Sirius noticed; the table was shaking. "Merlin, James, if you have something to say, spit it out," he snapped.

His eyes fixed on his hands, James carefully thought about what he was about to say. "Am I really, I mean, uh... Am I really your best friend?"

Whatever Sirius had been expecting, it hadn't been that. "Course you are!" Then his eyes widened. "Oh my god, James, I'm sorry, I should've asked you first—"

James interrupted him. "Even after..."

Remus' eyes shone with excitement. "Guys. I have another idea for a prank." James say forward expectantly. Sirius had frozen in the act of doing his homework, and his head slowly turned to face Remus. He looked rather like a hunting dog.

Peter prompted, "Well are you gonna tell us, or are you just gonna hold us in suspense?"

"You know, I think. I'll leave you to your wondering."

Sirius growled and pounced on Remus, who let out a howl of laughter as James and Sirius tickled him mercilessly. "Alright, alright, I'll tell you!" James sat back on his heels and Sirius crossed his legs. "What if we bewitched the Slytherin table?"

James gave Remus his best 'we are not amused' expression. "C'mon, Remus. You're going to have to give us more to go on."

"Well, every time a Slytherin touches the table, the table swallows them, then poops them out in, like, the girls' bathroom."

Sirius bit his lip. "I dunno, Remus. This is really advanced magic..."

"Which makes it all the more unlikely that we did it!" James insisted.

Sirius frowned. "We're already juggling homework and we still haven't finished that potion, James. It has to steep for a year. And we have to check on it regularly, and we have to figure out how we're going to take it home, and—"

"Sirius, this is our chance! We have to get as many good pranks out now, while we're still innocent first years, as we can. Sirius, please," James pleaded.

Sirius fixed him with a glare. "Fine. But we have to make it so the table poops them out in the toilet." James grinned. "And you're the one who is going to the library."

"What?"

"You heard me. I still have to do my Transfiguration essay and my Potions assignment, so I can't. Go on, shoo."

James' eyes narrowed. He grabbed the half finished Transfiguration essay and looked it over. "Hmm..." He began to pace. "You have some grammar issues, and—oops!" James faked tripping, and hit the table, hard. Sirius' ink bottle went flying into James... And all over the essay. "Here, Black. Why don't you finish your essay?" James spun on his heel and stormed out of the common room, trailing ink after him.

"James, listen to me. It's okay," Sirius insisted. "I got you back for it, didn't I? Can we please just... Forget about it? Please?" James grinned and nodded. Sirius relaxed.

Tiddly scampered up, balancing a plate of toast, a platter of bacon, and a jug of pumpkin juice.

"Thanks, Tiddly!" Remus exclaimed. Sirius nodded emphatically, a piece of toast already in his mouth, butter dribbling down his chin.

Tiddly bowed and began to leave. "Tiddly, wait!" James called. "Are you okay with this?"

"Okay with what, Master James?"

"Being enslaved," James replied. "Why don't you ask Dumbledore for pay, or weekends off, or sick days, or—"

"James," hissed Sirius. "Shut your fat mouth. You're upsetting him." James bit his lip and looked at Remus and Peter helplessly. There were tears in Tiddly's eyes.

"Tiddly," consoled Peter, "thank you for your service. You've done excellently. Why don't you go help the other house-elves?" The tears disappeared from Tiddly's eyes and he nodded, beaming once more, and hurried away.

Sirius took one look at James face and stood. "Let's leave. I'm sure they won't mind us taking the plates."

They grabbed the plates and sprinted.

"James," Remus panted as they jogged up the seven flights of stairs to Gryffindor Tower, "you really need to work on your people skills."

"Guuuuys," whined Sirius, "I'm bored."

"Thank you for enlightening us, Sirius," deadpanned Remus, referencing Magical Drafts and Potions as he scribbled his Potions essay in his messy, distracted cursive that no one could read; he insisted it was a good thing because a) if he was wrong, teachers wouldn't know and b) no one could cheat off of him. Nevertheless, it annoyed Sirius to no end when he fell asleep in History of Magic and needed notes, because he didn't trust that James or Peter's would be as 'meticulously accurate' as Remus'.

Peter was sleeping, hanging off of the arm of the couch.

James was curled in one of the armchairs that was blissfully free due to the lack of everyone above second year, doodling in his Potions notebook, which he hadn't yet used. He was using a funny Muggle thing his mother had shown him. It was a wooden stick with smudgy grey stuff inside of it. One was supposed to sharpen it, then use it as a quill.

He was currently drawing Sirius, who was stretched out in front of the fire, reminding James of the dog he had owned growing up, who he had called Bones. Bones had died the year before James came to Hogwarts. James gave Sirius floppy ears.

Tap tap tap. James continued to add details, like eyes, nose, mouth... Tap tap tap. Sirius rolled over. Tap tap tap. Peter snorted in his sleep. Tap tap tap.

Remus slammed his quill down, sending splatters of ink all over the place. "Whoever it is," he roared, "will you please put an end to that incessant tapping!"

Not looking up, James answered, "Incessant means not ceasing, or never ending, Remus. You ought to know that." Remus growled dangerously and began to rise from his seat, and James hastened to assure him, "I wasn't tapping, it couldn't have been Peter, and Sirius was just as annoyed by it as you were."

Remus cocked his head, "Then what was it?"

"Ooooh!" Sirius bolted upright. "A mystery!" His head whipped back and forth, his hair flying behind it, in front of it, getting in his mouth.

Sleepily, Peter mumbled, "It's an owl, you dimwits." James, Sirius, and Remus all looked up at the window. Sure enough, a tiny black owl was flapping in the violent winds. Sirius leapt up and let it in, cradling it in his hands.

"Poor thing, it's shivering," he cooed, rocking it back and forth.

"Oi, Mum, there's a letter attached to it," called James. Sirius made a face as he carefully removed the letter from the owl's foot and threw it vaguely in James' direction. James leapt up and snagged it between two fingers, then tore it open.

Hi everyone! SiriuslyPsychic here. I'm sorry I've not written in so long—don't shoot me! As poor of an excuse it is, I was on a massive road trip to the other side of the country, so yeah. I didn't have good wifi or consistent access to a charger—

"Weefee?" inquired Peter, "What's weefee?"

Remus shrugged. "Maybe they live somewhere else."

Sirius shuddered. "What are the odds that this SiriuslyPsychic person is... An American?"

"Oh, come on, they can't be that bad!"

"But they play some strange version of rugby!"

James sighed. "Have you ever met one?"

Hesitating, Sirius admitted, "No."

"Then you can't righteously form an opinion!" he declared. Remus smirked and continued reading.

—so that's why I didn't write. I'm sorry! I hope to get some nice long chapters posted, that hopefully aren't boring, before school starts up again. Gah! I'm a horribly person. Again, if you have any questions for my lovely messengers here, or ideas for a prank, don't hesitate to step up and say something! Shoutout to Mia M.J, Abnegation Ravenclaw, Bikini3, Danigirl84, PsychoSaphire, and any others I may have missed! Thanks to all of you that are reading this! It really means a lot to me. I don't know if I said it before, but my protest for first year is stereotypes. Because it's wrong to group people into categories when they're so much more than what they appear to be at first glance. Thanks again! Love y'all,

SiriuslyPsychic

Remus concluded. "Huh. This person seems..."

"Strange?" offered Peter

Sirius added, "Weird?"

"To be talking to imaginary people with funny names?" suggested James.

"Interesting," Remus corrected. "I, personally, would like to see how this all turns out."

James shrugged. "We should plan our next prank."

"You mean the Slytherin table one?" Peter inquired eagerly.

James grinned. "Yeah. I'll go to the library, ummm... You can stay here, if you like?" I'm sorry.

"Nah," Sirius replied, "I'll come too." It's okay. "Remus, Pete? Coming?"

Remus bounded up excitedly and Peter lumbered to his feet, then they raced to the library, struggling to keep pace with Remus, who was in a tireless sprint.

"God," panted Sirius. "Where does all that power come from? He's so skinny."

James raised his eyebrows. "I'm so lost."

"That's okay," Peter assured him. "We're used to it." Then he put on an extra burst of speed, adding distance between himself and James.

We're... We're used... James' jaw plummeted and he stopped abruptly, before yelling a battle cry and sprinting after Peter.

Leaping onto his back, he cried, "I've got you now, filthy mongrel! Repent!"

"You'll never take me alive!" vowed Peter, throwing James off and running.

"Then I'll take you dead!" yelled James, tackling Peter's ankles. Peter fell backwards onto James, who groaned. "I hate being skinny."

"Mwahahaha!" cackled Peter. "I've got you now!"

"Oh, no you haven't!" Sirius declared dramatically, jumping onto Peter. "Dog pile!" Laughing, they rolled, wrestling, until a very loud, "SHHHH!" drew their attentions.

Sirius was the first to look up. "S—"

Remus whispered, "Language, Sirius." He looked panicked, his eyes wide and his eyebrows raised. James rolled over and looked around.

"I think we've found the library, boys," he whispered.