APRIL FOOLS –PART 3 (T; HUMOR/ROMANCE: CC/DC; RPF)
Summary: When shit hits the proverbial and literal fan/s. A.K.A. the day social media met the apocalypse.
Warning: See Parts 1 and 2. But then again, you're already here, so suck it up. And also, I may or may not hate Will Sherrod as much as I hate Lady Von Glitz. Just saying.
Disclaimer: I am currently involved in a nasty court battle to gain legal custody for Darren Criss. According to my lawyer it's only a matter of time before he becomes mine. Or so he says. Twitter handles and Tumblr URLS that resemble real ones are used in a purely fictional manner only. No insinuation is being made that the people owning them are engaged in the practices as stated below.
A/N: As you can probably guess(or not), this underwent A LOT of rewrites. I began drafting this exactly two weeks and five days ago –I would start with something, then something else catches my fancy –then I'd start it all over. That said, I apologize for keeping you waiting. Anyway, this PART consists mainly of SOCIAL Media Verse. If you want the plot of it, you have to wait for the next part (if it happens –see details on END NOTE).
P.S. I wish I had the actual photoset described in this story, but alas, my manip skills are severely lacking. But –BUT –if anyone wants to give it a try, PLEASE, by all means, make one. Then let me know so I can link your work to this story. My contact details are at the bottom. Thank you.
ALSO, this ignores the events occurring during and after the Taste of A Cure Gala (that Lea Michele Twitter Diarrhea comes to mind). There will be an explanation in the next part though… if we get to the next part.
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April Fools –Part 3
By: C.M. Oliver
©2014
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(April 5, 2014; 3 a.m. –ish EST; Tumblr-verse)
(Photoset)
X (source)
.darrenchrislover:
*FLAILING* OMG! OMG! OMG! I JUST –I CAAAAAAANTTTTT!
Asdfjkl;asdfjkl asdf jkl asdf jkl;sdf jkl;asdf jkl;asdf jkl;
#Midnight Madness #CC Riot #The Ring #CrissColfer
.youmakemefeelsoyoungcc:
WHY? WHY? HUWAHAHAHAHAAAAAY? I am NOT worthy! OMFG – somebody pinch me!
(sings) Is this real life? Or is this fantasy?
#Midnight Madness
.willismydisneyprince:
Once again, the DELUSIONAL SHIP churns out a mediocre MANIP. BRAVO. *slow clapping*
.miarrenorcrissvonswier:
This is getting LAME, actually.
#lol crisscolfer
.darrenchrislover:
/\ get lost, bitches. You're the delusional ones.
#lol chillarren
.vampireunicornandskates:
Not to sound like the expert here, but this picture is TOO grainy, TOO haphazard to be a MANIP. And we all know how PERFECTLY done the CC MANIPS are, so…
It's a real PAP shot
It's a REAL PHOTO
It's REAL.
IT REALLY HAPPENED.
#It Finally Happened #CrissColfer
.starkidangel53:
OMG. Guys. I NEED YOU TO HOLD ME. Because –
(gif)
*drowns in feels*
.stillgoingstrong:
THERE. WAS. NEVER. A DOUBT. IN. MY MIND.
#CrissColfer Is On #take that haters #It Finally Happened
.potterklainedreamgleek:
What is that sound I hear?
.aliensarereal:
The sound of millions of CC shippers rejoicing
#CrissColfer Is On
.stillgoingstrong:
The sound of a thousand (that's exactly how many they are) CHILLARREN SHIPPERS breathing their last dying breath.
.darrenchrislover:
That's the sound of the CrissColfer ship victoriously approaching the shore after a long journey in the rough seas.
.youmakemefeelsoyoungcc:
That's the sound of the apocalypse.
#The Ring #CC Riot #Midnight Madness #It Finally Happened
.darrenchrislover:
Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Foreigners…
THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
.blackgreywhite:
What did I miss? So, there's a photo of Blaine (Darren?) kissing Kurt (Chris?) and then one giving him a ring (that suspiciously looks like the missing Klaine engagement ring once you blow it up?)
Huh?
.vampireunicornsandskates:
/\ You have to know the history of our long-suffering, star-crossed couple for this photoset to have its desired impact on your fan girl feels.
((READ MORE))
First, let's clear this up: The two people in the picture are DARREN and CHRIS –NOT—Blaine and Kurt. The messy, tousled curls on the shorter guy are all DARREN. Same goes for the disheveled, laid-back look –that is all CHRIS (and the glasses!).
They are not hiding behind characters here.
Second, YES, that is most probably the missing Klaine engagement ring (remember the riot it caused just a few days back? Coincidence? I think not.)
But THAT is NOT the point. The point is, it is a ring, Darren has it, and he's giving it to Chris (photo on the rightmost). The surprised look on Chris' face (same photo –gah, I wish this was a gif instead) tells us that most likely, he wasn't aware of the existence of the said ring on Darren's person –another sign pointing to the fact that this was NOT a staged Kurt and Blaine scene. I mean, why would Chris (Kurt) react to being presented a ring that he was supposed to already have (as Kurt) that way? That is only because this is NOT Blaine giving (or returning) Kurt's (missing) ring). At least NOT in THAT context.
Read my lips: This is Darren presenting Chris with a ring. Now regardless of which ring it is, it does not matter.
Third, the kiss (photo in the middle) that followed the familiar hug (leftmost photo) is jauntily, playfully, almost whimsically placed right dab smack on the lips (as seen on the brilliant angle where the shot was taken from –lucky pap). Again, not so sound like an expert here, but to date, there are only TWO types of KLAINE KISS, hereto referred as KLISS/ES: The slow, sweet, heartfelt one (first kiss, engagement kiss) and the passionate, clothes-flying-everywhere, sexually-charged one (back-seat kiss, new new york kiss).
The one as shown in particular does not fall unto any of the established KLISS categories we've discussed. Why? Simply because IT IS NOT a KLISS.
Darren is holding Chris tightly on the shoulders as he leans forward from his spot about a foot away. His lips pucker up almost comically as his upper body makes an acute angle. You can tell by Chris' reaction that there is also a significant force exerted from Darren's body (excitement?), that, if this were a video, I'm pretty sure we would've seen Chris take a step back because of the impact. Instead, we see him bending slightly backwards, matching Darren's angle, his hands grasping Darren's waist for support (see how his fingers curve against the fabric of Darren's t-shirt?)
All in all, we can conclude from this that this type of kiss was one that the two of them had already shared countless of times before (did someone say routine?) I can pretty much imagine this happening many clandestine nights in the past when Darren comes home (allow my poetic license, please) after a long day at work and Chris welcomes him at the door, and Darren, being the excitable puppy he is, lands an eager one on his lover even before he manages a proper hello…
This is not a stage kiss. Nor is it a spur-of-the-moment decision. They've been doing this for years (poetic license in play).
That said, do you now realize why THIS is such a BIG DEAL? It proves our theory in fact that:
CrissColfer is REAL
It has been going on for a while
It is not a figment of our imagination. WE ARE NOT DELUSIONAL!
#It Finally Happened #CrissColfer Is On #Midnight Madness #CC Riot #The Ring CC
.darrenchrislover:
/\ THIS. YES. OMG.
.youmakemefeelsoyoungcc:
*cries* so beautiful…
But, are we forgetting something though? This also proves the fact that Darren's PR WAS trying to cover it up! Oh man, I hate to be the guy who TRIES to do DAMAGE CONTROL on this one *cough* Ricky *cough*.
And how about the lovely (note sarcasm) Miss Von Glitz? And Willdo?
I'd hate to be them right now.
#lol Darren's PR #we are watching your every move #lol Miarren #lol Chill #lol beards #lol fakes
.stillgoingstrong:
It's a PAAAAAARTAAAAAAAYYYYY! It's a CRISSCOLFER PARTY and everyone is invited!
#well not the haters #it's not too late to jump ship tho #i'm talking to you chillarrens
.starkidangel53:
CRISSCOLFER IS ON… and on… and on… and on… and on…
.staff:
In behalf of the Tumblr staff, we congratulate the CrissColfer fandom. But please, refrain from flailing too much. Don't break the site. Don't.
.crisscolferfandom:
Dear staff,
We apologize. It is out of our hands.
Sincerely,
CrissColferFandom
P.S. SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
*'Cooper Andersons' to the ground*
#CC RIOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTT! #Midnight Madness #It Finally Happened #death by feels
-:-
4, 003, 082 notes
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OOPS! Something went wrong there. We'll try to get the issue fixed ASAP. In the meantime, go flail somewhere else.
Sincerely,
Tumblr staff
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(Meanwhile, about the same time over at Twitter…)
theKlaineMafia:
Darren Criss chriscolfer You guys -argh! I just can't! #TheRingCC #CCRIOT #midnightmadness #CrissColferIsOn
ChrisbelleColfer:
RT if you're flailing with us!
(photoset)
#MidnightMadness #ItFinallyHappened #CCRiot #TheRingCC
darrenchrislover3:
We just broke Tumblr guys!
(image)
#MidnightMadness #ItFinallyHappened #CCRiot #TheRingCC
CrissColferMob:
Currently short-circuiting from all the feels! AAAAAAAAHHHH! RT!
#ItFinallyHappened #CCRiot #TheRingCC #midnightmadness #CrissColferIsOn
143NYCGleek:
TREND: #ItFinallyHappened #CCRiot #TheRingCC #midnightmadness #CrissColferIsOn
RT!
heysoulsister09:
RT because our ship has finally reached the shore!
(photo)
#ItFinallyHappened
-:-
rockinricky:
A press release will be given in 24 hours. Thank you for your patience.
allaK1593:
Good day. chriscolfer will not be commenting at the moment, but rest assured that the issue will be addressed in due time. Thank you.
-:-
(Direct Messages)
MrRPMurphy:
chriscolfer On second thought, let's do the Bali scene for 5X19 instead of the Peter Pan scene. DarrenCriss get your fire insurance ready.
-:-
chriscolfer:
MrRPMurphy WHAT? BTW, I'm not talking to you and DarrenCriss
-:-
DarrenCriss:
MrRPMurphy LET'S! I want to see Blaine's gelmet catch fire.
-:-
DarrenCriss:
chriscolfer What did I do exactly? Love you. xoxo.
-:-
MrRPMurphy:
DarrenCriss I love that you are so eager to put your life on the line. And they WONDER why I give you the craziest storylines. #Blee
-:-
MrRPMurphy:
chriscolfer I did not do anything.
-:-
chriscolfer:
MrRPMurphy So you DID NOT conspire with my boyfriend to hide the ring and make me think it was lost? Shame on you, Ryan. Shame on you.
-:-
MrRPMurphy:
chriscolfer I plead the fifth. DarrenCriss is on his own on this one. Bye guys. See you tomorrow at work. Should be fun.
-:-
chriscolfer:
DarrenCriss You aren't completely forgiven yet. But you did get me my CONFIRMATION, so…
-:-
DarrenCriss:
chriscolfer As soon as I escape this emergency meeting with Joe and Ricky, I'll be back home to change your mind, 'kay? I'm really really really sorry, you know?
-:-
chriscolfer:
DarrenCriss Fine. Better get off Twitter though. We don't want to contribute to the site crashing.
-:-
DarrenCriss:
chriscolferYeah, well too bad Tumblr's already down. I haven't even seen the photos yet. But you're right. See you later. My place?
-:-
chriscolfer:
DarrenCriss Can we not converse like normal people? I'll text you my answer. Good luck on surviving the firing squad.
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(Same Day too…)
From: Will Sherrod
To: Chris Colfer
Wow. Just wow. Give a guy a head's up, will you?
-:-
To: Will Sherrod
From Chris Colfer:
I had no idea this was going to happen.
I apologize in behalf of Darren and myself.
-:-
From: Will Sherrod
To: Chris Colfer
Whatever. You guys owe me, Like BIG TIME.
This is it, I guess.
Congrats, I think?
-:-
To: Will Sherrod
From Chris Colfer:
If only it were THAT easy.
I'll tell Alla to give you a bonus.
-:-
From: Will Sherrod
To: Chris Colfer
Is she there with you? Wow. And she hasn't killed you or Darren yet?
Thanks Chris. You take care. Give those asses a kick for me.
-:-
To: Will Sherrod
From Chris Colfer:
She is. And I'm barely hanging by the skin of my teeth.
Alla's holding me hostage until Darren gets back so…
And I will do, Willdo.
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willsherrod deleted his Twitter Account.
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adminsupport:
Emergency Maintenance shut down scheduled in 5minutes. Site will be inaccessible during down time.
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Error: 403 Forbidden. ./. .com*
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(Same day, over at Facebook…)
Darren Chris Fan Page posted a photo:
2,153,001 likes
50,023 comments
Janna Hollman asdfjkl;asdf jkl; asdjkl; asdjkl; asd jkl;asdfa jkl;
Beth Miller WOOT! WOOT! #ItFinallyHappened
JC Parker Never thought this day would come!
Tommy Pickler As if this isn't another of those delusional manips.
Freida Rivera Tommy Pickler just be happy for Darren, okay? Isn't that what you Miarren shippers always say?
Skylar Anderson Freida Rivera that's what you get from these haters. They can't handle the truth. #CrissColferIsOn
Tommy Pickler WHATEVER.
Morgan Rittenbach I think I'm going to cry…. MY BABIES! I'm so happy for you both! #TheRingCC
Christelle Schiavone RIIIIIIOOOOOOTTTTTT! #CCRiot
See more comments
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Error: 408 Could not locate the server. http .:. (/) dcfanpage (/)4123627(/)
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(Same day –a really long day, isn't it?)
From: Ricky Rollins
To: Darren Criss
WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?
-:-
To: Ricky Rollins
From: Darren Criss
Nothing illegal.
-:-
From: Ricky Rollins
To: Darren Criss
You did this! You set this up!
-:-
To: Ricky Rollins
From: Darren Criss
You can't prove that.
Just give it up, Rick. Charade's over.
-:-
From: Ricky Rollins
To: Darren Criss
Wait 'til Joe hears this.
-:-
To: Ricky Rollins
From: Darren Criss
Be Our (my) Guest.
Look! –Broadway Musical Reference! My BOYFRIEND would be so proud.
Have a good day man, I know I will. See you later.
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One Blocked Number: Ricky Rollins 412-783-XXXX
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16 Missed Calls from 412-863-XXXX (Mia Swier)
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From: Mia Swier
To: Darren Criss
Why aren't you answering my calls? We NEED to talk! WHY are you doing this to me?
-:-
From: Mia Swier
To: Darren Criss
This is NOT COOL, Darren! This is NOT in the contract! You are supposed to be MY BOYFRIEND! Now what would I do? They will remove me from my job because you busted our act! WHAT THE HELL? You just think of yourself! I have five children to feed at home – you BASTARD!
-:-
From: Mia Swier
To: Darren Criss
I swear I will ruin you and your twinky boyfriend!
-:-
To: Mia Swier
From: Darren Criss
Hello Mia.
Goodbye Mia.
Good Riddance.
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One Blocked Number: Mia Swier 412-863-XXXX
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MiaVonGlitz deleted her Twitter Account.
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TO BE CONTINUED…
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A/N: I was actually debating on procrastinating and leaving you hanging for a little bit more while I finish the WHOLE thing in this chapter (read: a few weeks more), but I guessed that you may want an update on this sooner rather than later… even if it was shorter. Anyhow, the PLOT resumes in the next and FINAL PART - if you did not get what happened from this, wait for the concluding chapter – which will be up for the price of a few reviews… if you want…. It's not like I'm forcing you lovely people or anything. But just so you know I'm not kidding, here's a teaser of PART 4:
(Excerpt from APRIL FOOLS –PART 4)
"So, Darren, I think we all want to know –is it true that you've switched management companies?" The woman, Mindy, he thought he was called –so sue him, he was bad with names –at least he remembered that she was from The Hollywood Reporter, give him that. Darren managed a polite smile as he leaned back in his seat, his arms wide and his legs astride –it was what his new handler, Stella, coached him on body language before he went on the interview –what was that again? Taking space? Showing them he's confident? Controlling the game?
"Yes, yes I did."
"Oh," the woman –Misty –frowned a bit. She consulted her cue cards before looking him in the eye again. "Schumacher Management refused to comment on why they decided to let you go sooner when in fact you still have until Fall of 2015 with them –your fans want to know though –are we getting any answer from you on that front?"
Darren had the urge, the compelling urge to cross his arms –but that was a tell-tale show of defiance. He had talked this with Stella –it was the last thing he wanted to convey to his fans. Instead of doing what his instinct told him, he took a deep breath and met Macy's (?) blue eyes.
"It was a long-standing conflict of artistic vision." Darren managed to say without pause. He mentally congratulated himself. His interviewer's face couldn't switch any faster –from scrutinizing to triumphant: AHA! Darren frowned. What the hell was going on? He chanced a glance at the far corner to his left where his new manager was supposed to be lurking around only to find her gone.
Where the fuck was Stella?
"Just sit there, relax and remember what I told you," the dark-eyed, dark-haired woman told him softly not thirty minutes ago. "Trust me, everything will be okay."
"But we didn't rehearse any answers!" Darren blurted out worriedly. "How the heck am I supposed to answer the questions –"
"You have a brain, don't you?" Stella looked at him inquisitively. "I told you when I signed you that you run this show –I'll give you tips and what-not, but it's your call on what you let people know –"
"You –are crazy –" Darren gasped disbelievingly. "Utterly crazy."
Stella grinned at him. "Hey, if you want to follow orders from a task master, I'm pretty sure Rick and Joe would still take you back –"
"Not a chance in hell." Darren cut her off with a smile of his own. A few seconds later though, that smile faltered a bit. "Has Chris called in yet?"
Stella patted his arm comfortingly. "Don't worry okay? I'm on it –"
"But the interview –they will ask –I need him to be -"
"Five minutes! Places everyone!" Someone from the crew yelled. Stella all but pushed Darren towards the set-up. "Go! Make your momma proud!"
"But –"
"Go !"
Darren cursed internally… the dreaded question was coming… he could feel it… any minute now…
Misty shuffled her pink index cards before asking Darren again, the knowing look on her face not changing.
"Oh, so it wasn't because of what happened a few days ago?" One perfectly manicured eyebrow was raised. "A little something called a CRISSCOLFER Riot?"
BINGO.
To his credit, the grin on his handsome face stayed on. But inside, he was panicking.
'This is so NOT how I want to come clean! Where are you Stella? Where's Chris? I'm going to –'
Darren finally crossed his arms and legs. Screw body language.
"Well –"
"Sorry, I'm late –"
Everyone in the room turned to look at the voice that spoke out of turn. Eyes were wide, but none were wider than Darren's himself.
(TBC…)
-:-
Whose reactions in particular you want to see/ read about? Throw me some names and I'll do my best to add them in if they aren't in there yet. You wanna read the whole thing? You know what to do. By the way, you can also check me and my stuff out at:
FACEBOOK: C.M. Oliver is Eastwoodgirl
FFNet: C.M. Oliver is Eastwoodgirl
Twitter: C.M. Oliver (a.t.) heyitschesca (#cmoliverfanfiction)
Tumblr: klaineloveandsnarrydreams (#cmoliverfanfiction)
Until next time! Love, C.
P.S. We're on the homes stretch for GLEE Season 5! I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts on the three remaining episodes and what it may mean for KLAINE! Sound off via Tumblr! I'll want to discuss things with fellow Klainers too! MY ASK IS ALWAYS OPEN!