S.I.M. Life

"Oh, come on!" I complained. "There is no way a 60pt character's mutant ability is better than the ability to make high tech armor."

"Hey, I'm just saying that armor can be damaged or lost. You can also be caught out of armor, but the X-gene is forever!" Charles smirked.

"Until you get shot with a neutralizer or someone slaps a collar on you and then it's off to the happy camps!" I retorted. "Armor can be rebuilt if anything happens to it and it doesn't come with hate groups who want you dead, except maybe the Amish, and some of the more militant Quakers."

"How about mystical empowerment then?"

"Better than being a mutant, true, but the mystic world is so damn small that you are up against the big boys even if you are a small fish."

"I think I'll stick with being a mutant. I can always make my abilities seem like they are coming from some magic/alien device so people won't prevent me from dating their daughters."

"And I'm sticking with advanced tech knowledge with most of the points put into armor."

"Most?"

I grinned. "Yeah, most. A point in General means I can invent something like the DVD player and become rich as Gates! You didn't think I could build advanced armor out of tin cans, did ya?"

"John, you are such a munchkin. That's like getting resources, level 6 for three measly character building points."

"It's not like that, it is that! It may take a couple of weeks in game time, but unless the GM is trying to screw me, it always works out. It's a way of using my power's to make money, they work well for that."

"Couldn't any character spend a couple of points and get that?"

"Yeah, but unless you are specializing in tech it costs five times as much."

"Hmm. How about taking all that, adding Powerful Enemy, and using the bonus points from that to give you a minor mystical enhancement like Psychometry? That way you can avoid the mystic and mutant crap and get a major bonus on your armor skills, since it's like an unfailable diagnostic scanner that lets you know of parts that will fail before they do!"

I just stared at Charles for a minute with my mouth open. "Didn't you just call me a munchkin a minute ago?"

"Yeah, but that's cause you came up with something that I didn't think of," he said bluntly. "And I prefer the term, Power Gamer."

We both broke into laughter at that.

"Ok, but what about the 'Powerful Enemy' bit? That's asking for trouble," I said once we'd stopped laughing.

"Nah, the GM always gives you powerful enemies anyway or the game's no fun, this just adds one that give you some background and an extra one for your party to deal with. It's like free character building points with some bonus XP to be given later."

"I always avoided playing as a Power Gamer because it might take the fun out of it."

"What's the worst that can happen?"

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

"God, I hate prison food."

"Then maybe you shouldn't have stolen military secrets," the guard snarks at me.

Let me jump back a bit and then you'll get why I'm in this mess.

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

I looked at the big screen TV in front of me as it showed a battle between the avengers and a couple of villains I didn't recognize... Live!

No, I have no idea how I got here, all I know is that I am here... in the Marvel Universe.

I'm torn between having a fangasm in my pants and wetting them in terror. Either way I'm probably going to have to change my pants in a minute.

For something to do I remove my pants and am happy to find I am wearing clean underwear, though for how much longer I can't say. Well, at least I won't have to clean the carpets.

I distract myself by removing my socks and make little fists with my feet. Normally I don't take advice from action movies even if they do have Bruce Willis in them, but damn if it wasn't working!

I have white plush carpeting and a giant TV, unless this isn't my home, in which case I have an impending conviction for public indecency and breaking and entering.

The sound of voices entering the room behind me makes me curious as to whether I am about to meet friends or plaintiffs. The lack of screaming I take to be a good sign.

I turn around and find I am hosting a group of grumpy Japanese business men and a sharply dressed blonde who gives me a look that can only come from a female that in some way cares for a male. By that I mean takes care of, not has an emotional connection to, though there are few females that can keep from caring for someone they take care of, probably some sort of mothering instinct or the fact that, on the whole, women are more evolved socially, which means they are also more likely to back-stab you.

"Greetings," I say with a cheerful grin. "Please remove your pants, shoes, and socks and make yourselves at home."

The only way to get away with outrageous acts is to top them, I have learned and it works more often than you might think.

The interpreter is on the job and shortly everyone, but my assistant is pants-less. Seeing that I'm still making fist with my feet they start doing the same and their grumpy looks fade with their jet-lag.

I had a bunch of papers spread out on a large coffee table, so I figured that was what they were here for. Sprawling out on the floor, I waved my hand and the now cheerful businessmen joined me.

My assistant slides me an itinerary, which says I am meeting with the heads of a corporation who wants several 'small' inventions I have apparently invented and offered to Japan rather than America. We have sake and sushi arriving in about fifteen minutes, which seems silly to me so I decide to do something about it.

"We have the traditional food and drinks ordered for later, but even though that's the standard for a meet and greet, it's always struck me as odd. Anything you get here would obviously be inferior to what you get at home so I thought I might ask if anyone would prefer something local, which at least has the novelty of being new."

The interpreter rattled off a translation of what I'd said, well he probably did, for all I know he could've said, 'The round eyed devil must die. Who would like the honor of making the first cut?' They all grin and nod, which still fails to tell me which it was. I'm beginning to wonder if I'm a tad paranoid.

"That would be greatly appreciated," the interpreter says with a wide smile. "Pizza and beer would be most welcome."

I wave to my assistant who makes a call, cancelling the specialty order and asking for pizza and beer. Sure it's still going to cost a bit, since I'm still using the same catering company to handle it, but they do make better pizza than the local delivery places and they deliver beer!

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

Long story short—we made bail the next day and after paying some hefty fines, I insisted on covering them as I was the host, we were all free men again.

No, I don't intend to explain what happened. In fact... I'm not quite sure what happened. I recall more alcohol, a bar, strippers, a bar-fight, and explaining that martial arts weren't allowed in this sort of activity. I also have a vague memory of an 80 year old Japanese businessman trading punches with a burly biker, neither trying to dodge but actually taking turns.

The interpreter is still out of it and has a g-string he's wearing like an armband.

I turn to the rest of the group as we ride back to my place in my limo. "I don't recall if we ever got around to talking business, but damn this was fun!"

"Yo dog," the 80' year old business man with a black eye and wearing a leather jacket says, "You mah niggah?" and he holds out a fist.

I bump fists with him, "Fo shizzle my nizzle."

*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*0*

I picked a dozen devices and leased them to Japan. I could have done more, in fact I had the designs for at least three or four items from 'home' that would put me at resources level 6, but truthfully I prefer to remain at level 5. Level 6 makes you too big of a target.

Yes, I had discovered I am slightly paranoid on and off. I'm guessing Charles convinced me to let him min/max my character. God only knows what additional problems he's given me or what the points were put into.

I have no doubt my lack of memory is also part of his efforts. Depending on your GM you can get away with claiming that you remember skills and abilities on the flimsiest of pretenses, but unfortunately I had no one here to appeal to I have a feeling that quite a few powers are going to go undiscovered in this life.

Typing by Stephenopolos

AN: Started as an SI, but I decided I would be boring so I mixed some Tony Stark into his DNA!