A/N: For our Preciousss who loves kid!fics and for Nexie and Kira who love the remotest hint of Drarry. This story comes from my own sadistic well-spring of imagination, and a conversation about how much Lucius would loathe the scenario outlined herein. Because torturing Lucius makes me smile.
Routine was sacred to Lucius Malfoy. He rose every morning at six. He spent an hour in his private dueling room, took a shower, dressed and arrived in the informal dining room for breakfast by eight. The Daily Prophet and several financial publications were always to the left of his plate in a neat stack. Narcissa was always seated on his right. She went through their invitations while he read the paper. It was the same every day, without fail.
When Lucius swept into the informal dining room to find a table filled with small girls he gaped at them and then turned to his wife in horror.
"Who are these... these...," he sputtered helplessly and gestured at the girls who had all turned to look at him.
"Children?" Narcissa offered with an arch look. She pointed to the red-head sitting next to her. "You remember Lily Luna, Harry Potter's daughter?"
Lucius looked at the small red-head slightly askance. "Er, yes," he agreed.
"And surely you remember Portia and Ophelia Pucey?" Narcissa indicated the two young girls that were the offspring of Draco's school chum Adrian Pucey and his wife, Hermione Granger.
"I-," Lucius blinked in surprise. Mrs. Pucey came to the Manor only reluctantly. He couldn't help but feel a small spurt of pleasure that she was entrusting her precious daughters to his wife's care.
"And then, of course, we have Miss Rose Weasley," Narcissa waved a hand down toward the eldest of the girls.
The child had her father's red hair, but she had her mother's upturned nose and dark eyes. Lucius wouldn't have expected a child of Ron Weasley and Pansy Parkinson to look half so attractive, but the child was a pretty little thing.
"Very well," Lucius allowed. Fine, he knew all of them. That still didn't answer his burning question. "Why are they all here?"
"Oh, that's simple," Narcissa informed him with a little smirk. "They're all doing some kind of scooting event."
"It's called Scouting, Mrs Malfoy," Rose Weasley offered quietly.
"There you are, darling. They're Scouting." Narcissa took a sip of her tea.
"Scouting what?" Lucius frowned. He remembered Draco going on about involving Scorpius in invigorating outdoor activities. Potter was trying to start some sort of wizarding youth group that fostered camaraderie among young wizards.
"They're working on their badges," Rose offered again.
"Badges?" Lucius looked to his wife for help.
Narcissa just shrugged and then beamed at the room filled with little girls. "Well my little loves, what should we do today?"
The Pucey girls whispered to one another and then turned to Narcissa.
"Can we play dress up?" One of them asked curiously.
Narcissa clapped her hands. "That sounds marvelous! I can have the House Elves bring down some robes from the attic and I know we've got hats, bags and shoes. Lucius and I will help you transfigure anything you need resized."
Lucius choked on his tea. "Excuse me?" He gasped out.
"You'll stay and help me, of course," Narcissa informed him in her most dangerous voice.
Lucius narrowed his eyes at his wife. "Fine," he bit out.
Lily Luna tugged on Narcissa day gown and she leaned down to hear what the girl had to say. Narcissa laughed and Lucius knew that this was going to be bad.
"You're right. He does have very pretty hair," Narcissa told the child solemnly.
Three hours later found Lucius dressed in robes that had belonged to his great-great grandmother with a bag slung over one arm. He was seated in the parlour with each of the Pucey girls holding one of his hands. They were very carefully painting his nails a soft baby pink the Muggle way because both chits were too young for wands. Behind him were Rose and Lily Luna. The oldest was trying to teach the youngest how to braid his hair.
Narcissa sipped her tea and smirked at him. The fulminating glare he was sending her way should have been enough to singe her hair, but the minx had the audacity to wink at him and blow him a kiss.
Finally, the girls drew back to carefully observe their handiwork.
"Wooshus looks so pwetty," Lily Luna prounounced.
The other girls nodded and smiled.
"Wonderful job ladies," Narcissa agreed. "And now if you're ready we have tea in the informal dining room. I believe there is lemonade and sandwiches and Mipsy made her special cinnamon bread."
The girls squealed and raced off to the informal dining room. Narcissa sashayed toward her husband with a small smile on her lips. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to his powdered, rouged cheek.
"Thank you," she whispered against his ear.
Lucius pulled back and scowled up at his wife. "What for?"
"For being nice to Lily Luna," Narcissa elaborated. "You know how Draco feels. Being kind to Potter's daughter... that will only help him."
Lucius grunted. "Can I take this off?"
"Not yet, darling. Let them have their fun," Narcissa cautioned.
Lucius gave a martyred sigh. "Fine. I will do this, but Narcissa you owe me."
"I know I do, darling." Narcissa helped him to his feet and guided him to tea.
The humiliation of having Potter finding him seated awkwardly in a dainty chair sipping tea and speaking to Lily Luna about whether or not unicorns lived near Malfoy Manor would live with Lucius for the rest of his life. Pucey followed Potter into the room and he stood stock-still with wide eyes. Lucius glared at Pucey until he cleared his throat loudly and called for his daughters who squealed and ran to him.
"Oh, thank you for playing with us today, Mr Malfoy," called the eldest, Portia.
"We had ever so much fun," added Ophelia.
"My pleasure," Lucius bit out tightly.
Weasley was biting his lips to keep from laughing, and if those weird snorts were any indication, he was failing miserably. Lucius wondered if Draco would be cross with him if he hexed Potter's friend. He sighed. Probably.
"Rose," was all Weasley managed to squeak out before biting his lips again.
"Coming Daddy," Rose called. "Thank you for having me," Rose said to both Malfoys and she curtseyed politely.
"Of course, Rose," Narcissa said fondly. "Your mother was a frequent guest when she was a girl. It brings back fond memories to have you here."
Finally, Pucey and Weasley left leaving Lucius with Narcissa, Potter, Draco and their combined children. His grandson Scorpius was eyeing him with fascinated horror. James and Albus, Potter's sons, appeared to commiserate with him.
"Goodbye Wooshus," Lily Luna called cheerfully from the safety of her father's arms.
"Goodbye Lily Luna," he replied.
"Doesn't he wook pwetty Daddy?" Lily demanded.
Potter froze and stared helplessly at Draco. His son, the traitor, shrugged.
"Er, yes," Potter muttered faintly.
"I did his hair," Lily told her father. "Rose helpeded me a little bit."
"It, er, it looks brilliant sweetie," Potter muttered.
"Can I come back and pway with Wooshus again?" She asked.
Narcissa beamed at Lucius, which almost made the day worth the torture.
"We'll see." Potter stroked his daughter's hair. "Maybe."
Once the Potter family left Draco turned to him, and the gratitude in his son's eyes made his chest feel tight.
"Thank you Father."
Lucius nodded. Then he pulled out his wand and put everything back the way it ought to be. He sighed in relief. "Much better."