a/n: Okay, first of all, I'm not back. Not officially. Not yet. Meaning I'm not going to be posting regular updates on anything right now. Sorry. :/ But whatever. Anyway, the basic idea for this story popped into my head and once I was writing I couldn't stop haha. And surprisingly I think it turned out pretty well. I tried to focus on the vaguely annoying, slightly sleep deprived, Ellie in this story and the half new, half season one Tony and all the while tried to make it lighthearted, maybe a little funny, maybe a little serious ;)

This was not looked over by my beta so though I always take responsibility for my mistakes I didn't get a second writers opinion on this so grammatical, whatever, mistakes are (always) mine. Also, I haven't written anything worthy of being posted in a long time so I'm really nervous and excited about this spur of the moment upload. Therefore, I kindly ask you to bear with me on this one. Reviews appreciated and feedback welcome :) by the way I'll give you the summary again for suffering through that long author's note lol.

The Transitive Property

Summary: From office gossip to relationship advice—or more like relationship demands—be well assured that the transitive property of Eleanor Bishop is alive and well.

"Have I mentioned how much I hate drama?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow at her teammate who furrowed his and set down his pen.

"Then you probably shouldn't have become an NCIS agent—" She closed her eyes and shook her head, effectively cutting him off.

"Drama between coworkers, within friendships, around the building. It bothers me." She admitted and, confused, he waited for her to explain herself. "It's stupid. Completely and utterly pointless. I simply don't see the point." She rambled and the two male agents glanced at each other.

"We understand, Bishop. It doesn't have a point." McGee assured her and she nodded as Tony looked at the blonde curiously.

"I know you know it's just that—" she sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I've been hearing rumors and there's always tons of gossip around here and I don't understand. Isn't work enough for people? There is a criminal wreaking havoc on the streets of Washington DC and people are more concerned with what she said to him and what he said to her and why the vending machines have such terrible food." She shook her head as Tony shrugged.

"I think that's a valid thing to ponder." She glared at him before taking a deep breath and focusing her attention on Tim.

"This place is the kingdom of drama. It is the epicenter." She emphasized and Tony rolled his eyes. Tim decided to step in seeing the annoyance on Tony's face. Though Tony was truly a different person than he was three years ago he was only human and Bishop was being annoying.

"Ellie, maybe they gossip because talking about death and murderers is a little macabre." He suggested and the blonde sighed but shut up for the moment, deciding to ponder the idea.

. . .

The silence didn't last long. She was back the next day to challenge McGee's point. "I don't agree with your proposition." She informed him gracefully and Tony raised his eyebrows as McGee looked up from his computer.

"What?" He asked and Ellie sighed.

"The macabre thing—it's not true." She supplied and Tim furrowed his brow, his lips parting in confusion. "About why people gossip? Gosh McGee keep up." He glanced at Tony who just sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Well do you have a better reason?" The senior field agent asked and Ellie shrugged.

"I'm thinking about it." She supplied pointedly and Tony furrowed his brow as he glanced at his coworker. Before Tony could comment Gibbs strode in and glanced at his spacey team.

"Hey!" He shouted and the all snapped out of their dazes to look at the boss. "Back to work."

. . .

It wasn't until the following week that the conversation was brought up again. "I was an analyst for the National Security Agency." She sighed and shook her head. "I should be able to figure this out!" They glanced at her.

"Why can't it be because the subject is too macabre?" McGee asked and Ellie glared at him.

"Do you know where you work agent McGee? People face gruesome murders and death in this building every single day whether they're an agent or not! If they couldn't handle it they would have found another job by now. So they must gossip for some other reason." She supplied, a manicured finger tapping her cheek rhythmically. "You are federal agents; I'd have thought you'd have figured that out by now." She accused playfully and they glanced at each other. Though they hated to admit it, she had a point.

"Maybe they have nothing better to do. If you're not an agent you basically do paperwork all the time." Tony supplied before biting into an apple. Both Tim and Ellie glared at him. "Just a suggestion." Ellie sighed and rested her chin in her hand. Tony glanced at McGee who shrugged. She stayed like that for a few minutes before Abby walked in.

"Hey, do you know where Gibbs is?" She asked and they all shook their heads. Then she caught sight of Ellie. She furrowed her brow and leaned into McGee. "What's got her undies in a twist?" She muttered and Tim smirked as Tony perked up.

"She's trying really really hard to figure out why NCIS is the epicenter of gossip." He confessed sarcastically and the blonde shot him a glare but didn't say anything. Abby chuckled.

"Well I mean it's not that hard to figure out, right? They probably don't want to talk about something so dark. I mean not like that's a problem for me. Look at me. I am dark." She rambled and Tony glanced at her curiously so she shut up.

"Already covered that base." Tim supplied and Abby gathered her lips on the side of her mouth, thinking.

"Boredom?" She inquired and Tony nodded. She sighed and sat down in Gibbs's desk. They all glanced at her but didn't say anything. Tim and Tony noted that the two women currently wore the same expression.

"You should be proud, Bishop. You brainwashed Abby, too." Tony commented cheekily but she just narrowed her eyes at him.

"Do you think it's because their own lives are so dull that they have to come up with office drama to keep them entertained?" Abby asked absentmindedly and Ellie glanced at her as Tony raised his eyebrows and tried really hard not to smirk. Tim just sighed.

"Nah, I don't think so. I mean I love talking to the women in legal. They're very nice and they always have some story to tell." She saw Tony's stare and looked at him forcibly. "About themselves and their own personal lives." Ellie emphasized and he nodded.

"Maybe their insecure. They don't like talking about themselves so they have to talk about other people." Tim supplied and they all looked at him. And they could all tell what Tony was thinking. Tony had grown, he really had, just not that much. Abby glared him into submission. Ellie shrugged.

"Maybe. I mean don't get me wrong, these are all fantastic suggestions I just think there's more to it than this. Think about it this way. We—as a team—me, you, Tim, Abby, Gibbs, Ducky—we don't gossip. But everybody else does. Everybody." Ellie emphasized. They all thought about that for a moment and realized it to be true.

. . .

The team didn't hear another thing about Bishop's great conundrum for a long time until finally one day she stormed into the bull pen angrily. Her eyes were red from lack of sleep and her clothes were wrinkled like she'd slept in them. "I was up half the night—gossiping!" She informed the three agents in the bull pen angrily; except she was directing her speech towards McGee and DiNozzo, not Gibbs. The team leader was too shocked to do anything but listen. "Because I wanted to get to the bottom of this. And believe me, I did. But it was not pretty. I found out things I don't need to know. And guess what?" She asked them in a half sleep deprived craze. The just stared at her until they realized she was waiting for an answer.

"Um, what?" Tim finally asked and she held up a finger, pointing to everybody in the bull pen.

"They gossip about you—about us. It's creepy. You might think they talk about the accountant and the janitor but they talk about us. The he said she said stuff—it's about us!" She exclaimed and they all glanced at each other. Ellie took a deep breath. "Some of the stuff I found out I would rather not know but trust me I found out everything. Every little detail that's been going on with the MCRT since the woman before me joined the team—what was her name—Ziva! Since Ziva joined the team, okay? That is a lot of information." She supplied with a sigh. The team glanced at each other.

"And I just have a few things to say about that." Ellie continued. "Please don't fire me." She added quietly to Gibbs before continuing without waiting for a response. "Tim—I approve you and Abby. Keep that up, start it again—I don't care." She began before turning to Tony. "Tony—you've done some stupid things and I'm glad I wasn't around for it but I'm also glad you're still you. And I know she had to go, Tony, I know that. You did a good thing in letting her go. But for god's sake you love her; it's about time to get her back." Without waiting for a reaction she turned to Gibbs. "You let her get away." She whined and Gibbs furrowed his brow. "You let her get away once and then you got a second chance and you wasted it. No more wasting opportunities like that, life is short—plus you're encouraging the gossip." She took a breath and glared at every one of the agents before speaking again.

"Firstly, I'm glad that's out of my system. Secondly, stop giving everybody something to gossip about, it's unprofessional and it has—"

"No point, we know." He groaned.