I can feel the heat rising to color my cheeks as Prim and Johanna continue to stare at me. Prim's eyebrows are raised in question, but Johanna is scowling at me in what I assume is impatience.

Calling them was a mistake. I knew they'd come over here to grill me about every possible detail as soon as I mentioned Peeta's name. It's not that I have a problem talking about him. Not anymore. I just wanted to keep things between the two of us for as long as possible, and I could put off having him meet my abrasive best friend for even longer.

"Come on, Brainless." Johanna says with an exasperated sigh, throwing a piece of popcorn at my face. "Unless he's an absolute fucktard, I'm sure I'll have heard worse."

"He's not a fucktard." I mutter under my breath. "I just don't see why you care so much."

"You bang a guy for months and actually act sheepish about it...that never happens anymore." Johanna pauses and turns to offer Prim a wink. "You like him." She says mockingly, throwing another piece of popcorn in my direction.

I roll my eyes and watch as Prim leans forward to grab the unopened bottle of wine on the coffee table. She pours me a generous glass, and I settle back into the corner of the couch, pulling my knees up to rest against my chest.

"Of course I like him."

"Come on, Katniss." Prim says gently. "He makes you happy, doesn't he?"

I take a sip of my wine and roll my eyes again. My mind wanders and I consider how I'm going to answer her question. Of course Peeta makes me happy, he works hard to make time for me around our busy schedules and understands if I need a night alone.

Not that I've had many of those.

Or any, now that I think of it.

Even on nights where I've told him I want to be alone, I find myself wandering over to his place in my pajamas and climbing into bed with him. He gave me the key to his apartment a couple of weeks ago, and I've been out to get an extra key cut for my place too.

I considered it a big step in our relationship, but he shrugged it off like it was nothing. He started pushing the key towards me one morning as I sat eating cereal at his breakfast bar before kissing my forehead and rushing out of the door to get to work. I remember that I stared at it for a long time, a frown creasing my forehead before I sighed and picked it up to slip it in my pocket.

When I handed him the key I cut for him, he smiled and pressed a kiss to my hand as I tried to pull it away. His eyes met mine briefly before he turned back to the TV and focused on that instead.

A smile spreads across my face at the memory, and I know that both of the other women in the room have noticed it.

"He makes me very happy." I say eventually.

Prim practically squeals with happiness as her hand falls to squeeze my shin gently in excitement, and even Johanna is smiling behind her wine glass.

"So is he officially your boyfriend?" Prim asks.

"Well if someone asked, I wouldn't say I was single."

Johanna scoffs haughtily and downs the rest of her wine.

"You're the most irritating person I know when it comes to shit like this." She says, staring towards me with her eyes narrowed. "You need to just get over yourself, suck it up, and admit you want to be with him."

"I am with him." I reply. "I'm only with him."

My tone is sharp and Johanna's eyebrows rise in surprise. "Well then he must be something special. You wouldn't settle for just anyone."

I can't quite place her tone. The glare she's aiming my way is confusing me further.

"He is." I mutter.

Her comment pisses me off more than I thought it would. Probably because it's completely justified. For as long as Johanna has known me, I've never been in a relationship with any sort of substance. She'd only ever heard all the reasons why I didn't want one on occasions where I'd get drunk and rant about everything that went wrong with Gale.

She supported my decision to not date anymore, encouraged it even. My casual dating suited her lifestyle while we were rooming together at college because she didn't want to settle down either.

"We should go and get dinner with him one day." Prim says with a warm smile. I turn and offer her a smile too.

With Prim it's different.

Although she's always supported my lifestyle choices, she knows that deep down I'm not as against relationships and marriage as I try to convince myself. I always thought I'd spend my life with Gale, but look at how that turned out. I was so depressed afterwards that I just gave up trying. With the way that she's smiling at me now, her eyes crinkled just slightly at the edges, I know she can see the change in me that I've been feeling since Peeta and I got together officially.

I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket. I don't bother checking it. Peeta always texts around this time to let me know he's on his way home. It's getting late, and I should really send Prim and Johanna on their way. It's selfish, but I just want to spend tonight with Peeta.

My shift today was rough. Dr Abernathy and I were working on a young boy who had been hit by a car. He came in with a punctured lung and bled out on the table; I took it a lot harder than I thought I would, but seeing a child die is never easy. To make it worse, Abernathy decided to use the entire thing as a teaching exercise, and he made sure I was present when he spoke to the parents.

After I watched their faces twist in despair and their bodies physically collapse in agony, I had to look away. I knew the feeling all too well. The loss of my father had taught me to deal with grief much sooner than I should have, and this little exercise had done nothing but bring those emotions all rushing back to me.

I went to the break room and dropped onto the sofa. I'm pretty sure I didn't move for over half an hour. Eventually, Dr. Abernathy came in and sat with me. It was the end of our shifts, anyway; he sat next to me in silence for a few minutes before pulling out a hipflask from his backpack and taking a swig. I frowned and checked my watch. 11am.

He took a few more mouthfuls before turning to acknowledge me. When he noticed the way I was frowning in his direction, he offered me the hipflask with a wink. I declined his offer and stood up instead.

I just wanted to be alone.

The drive home was short, and I stripped off my scrubs before crawling under my covers.

Everything smelled of Peeta, and I found myself curling my body around the pillow he always used as I stared off into space. I was developing a migraine and planned to spend the rest of the day alone in here, wallowing in my misery. These sorts of days aren't unusual for me.

Sometimes everything just takes its toll, and I need a few hours alone with my thoughts to get back on track.

When my phone lit up beside me after an hour, I frowned and moved to silence the call. But seeing Peeta's name had stirred something inside me that caught me completely by surprise. As I pressed the phone to my ear eagerly, he greeted me quietly.

His voice was soothing, and my mind immediately cleared as he spoke to me. I didn't tell him about my day, but I was instead content to let him tell me all about his for the entirety of the call.

Before I knew it I was calling Prim and Johanna and asking them to come over and spend the afternoon with me. They've been good company, filling me in with their lives and listening with rapt interest to the few morsels of information I've revealed about Peeta.

"Are you guys just about done?" I ask suddenly, interrupting Johanna as she tells an anecdote about some guy she's been seeing lately.

She rolls her eyes playfully and downs the rest of her wine. "I take it lover boy is on his way over?"

I nod briefly, and Johanna sighs before rising to her feet. "Ok, Brainless, have fun with your squeeze."

Prim follows suit and pulls me into a warm hug after putting on her jacket. "Next time, I want to meet him." She says as she moves away again. "No excuses."

I sigh and nod. "No more excuses."

They leave, and I go about clearing up the takeout boxes and empty wine bottles from my coffee table. Within minutes, I hear Peeta's key in the lock and then the heavy sound of his work bag hitting the floor.

I'm washing the dishes when I feel his arms wrap around my waist, and I sink back into his touch with a content sigh.

"Did you have fun with the girls?" He says against the skin of my neck, his lips pursing and dropping a small kiss to my neck as I nod in reply.

"Good. Sorry I was so late coming home, got held up doing paperwork."

I shrug, and Peeta stands up to his full height. His hands run across my stomach until they're cupping my hips, and he squeezes gently before walking over to the fridge and grabbing a bottle of coke. After a few generous gulps, he returns it and then turns to offer me a tired smile.

"I'm going to head to bed. Are you going to be long?"

"I'll be two minutes." I reply quietly.

He frowns, and I can tell he's trying to read my mood. Although we haven't discussed what happened at work today, he knows me well enough by now to know when there's something on my mind.

When I climb into bed a few minutes later, Peeta is already beneath the covers and waiting for me. I throw a leg over his and run my toes along the muscle lining his calf as my head falls heavily onto his shoulder. His thick fingers are running through my hair, and my eyes fall closed of their own accord.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asks eventually. His voice is deep, and I feel his chest rumble as he speaks. He's tired, and I can hear the concern in his voice.

"I'm fine." I say eventually, turning my head slightly to press a kiss to his chest. "Just had a rough day."

The hand resting on the back of my head moves to instead run up and down my back slowly.

I'm sure he just means the action as a loving gesture, hoping to soothe me with his soft caress. But the feel of his skin against mine sends a rush of heat straight to my abdomen, and I know that even though my mind is a complete mess, my body is fully aware of what it needs right now.

I use the hand resting on his chest to hoist myself up, and I rise to straddle his hips quickly.

My center grinds into him, and he groans deeply as he lifts his head to bring our lips together.

Our clothes are shed quickly; as I rise and fall on top of him, I forget all about work and how difficult it's going to be to walk back through those doors tomorrow to do it all again.

Instead, I lose myself in the sensations that Peeta sends racing through me. I focus on the thumb he has pressed to my clit, and the soft pants against my neck as my movements rush him to a quick release.

His gasp against my collarbone and the feel of him pulsing inside me as he spills into me triggers my own release before I collapse against him breathlessly.

My body feels heavy, and I rest unmoving on top of him until he grabs my hips and shifts me onto the mattress beside him instead. I move my head to rest on his shoulder again, and I'm asleep before he has a chance to ask what's bothering me.

Peeta has to rush out to work first thing the next morning, and I'm surprised to hear a soft knock at the door

as I'm packing my stuff and preparing to do the same.

I check my watch and frown. It's barely 8am, and I have a sixteen hour shift ahead of me. If another set of salesmen or pushy religious folk have found their way into the building again, I'm going to be pissed.

As I make my way to the front door, I spy Peeta's keys to the building on my kitchen counter and roll my eyes. He always manages to forget something when he's in a rush. I pick them up and head over to let him back in.

I smile brightly as I throw the door open, a sarcastic comment about his forgetfulness at the ready.

The smile falls from my face when I see who is actually at my front door, and I feel my heart start to pound in my chest. The keys are slipping from my fingers as my palms begin to sweat, and I consider slamming the door closed.

Before I get the chance to do anything, my guest offers me a guileless smile and ruffles his short, dark hair. The action causes his shirt to lift slightly, and my eyes are flicker down to the small patch of dark hair peeking out of the bottom.

"Hey, Catnip."

The sound of his voice after so long sends shivers down my spine, and I feel my mouth drop open in shock.

I can't formulate enough of a thought to speak and continue to stare dumbly up at him. His grey eyes stare back, and his forehead creases slightly in concern.

"Are you ok?" He asks eventually, a small nervous laugh following his words.

I close my mouth and consider my response.

I should just tell him to leave, that he isn't welcome here.

But before I have a chance to, I hear the elevator doors open as Peeta steps out of them with his eyes fixed on his watch as he makes a beeline straight for us.

No, I most definitely am not ok.

My eyes stayed glue to Peeta as he walks down the hallway. His steps are wide, and he's moving with purpose. He's lifting his cell phone to his ear when he finally looks up at us. A frown forms before he can prevent it, and in my periphery I notice Gale turn to face in his direction too.

I stay silent as Peeta comes to a stop beside me, my eyes still fixed on his. He's talking to his partner, and explaining he'll be a few minutes late; he's also trying to read the situation he's walked into, but I'm not giving him much to work with. His lips twitch into a sad smile, and he turns to look at Gale instead.

My head turns to watch their interaction, and when Peeta offers Gale his hand, my breath catches in my throat. I wasn't ready for the two of them to meet just yet. Or ever, really.

God knows why Gale is here, or how he got my new address. I don't have time to think about it right now because I'm running late as it is, and the two men in the hall in front of me seem to be having some sort of pointless standoff.

Peeta is still smiling politely as Gale shakes his hand, but Gale is pretty much glaring down at him from his superior height. Neither speaks beyond exchanging names, and I can feel the blood rushing through my ears.

Once his hand is released, Peeta turns to me and raises his eyebrows playfully. He must be able to sense how uncomfortable I am right now and doesn't push me to introduce Gale properly.

"Forgot my keys." He says eventually, reaching down and grabbing them from where they hang loosely in my fingers. "I'll call you later." His fingers close around my hand briefly, and before he pulls away, he offers a reassuring squeeze.

He takes a step away before turning back to face me again. I notice that his eyes wander over Gale's imposing form before focusing on me.

"You should get a move on, babe. Don't want to be late for work."

His lips twitch into a smirk when I frown at him before he turns around and walks back to the elevator. He never calls me babe, and he knows how much I hate the nickname, so that was probably for Gale's benefit rather than mine. He waves as the doors close, and then he's gone.

I turn my back on Gale, grab my backpack, throw it over my shoulder, and walk out into the hallway.

"I do need to get to work." I mutter lamely, and for some reason I can't quite meet his eyes.

"Latest squeeze?"

His tone is flippant, and I sigh as I start walking towards the elevator. He follows me so closely that I can feel the heat radiating from his body. As we step into the elevator I make sure to put as much distance between us as possible. I don't have time for the shit he brings with him now, and I'm hoping that he'll take the hint and crawl back to wherever he's been for the last twelve months.

He sighs loudly as the doors close in front of us, and I roll my eyes impatiently. He can never just come out and say what he wants to say. For the entirety of our relationship, and even in the years that followed, I would have to guess what was on his mind and then deal with fallout if I was wrong. Peeta is the opposite. As much as I detest having heart to hearts, I now understand the merit of revealing issues and working through everything together.

"He's not your usual type." Gale tries again when I continue to ignore him.

"Yeah, I don't tend to go for nice guys. Thought I'd try something new."

I speak before I've thought it through, and when I hear Gale chuckle beside me, I know he got what he wanted. My shoulders slump as I sigh. I should have just kept ignoring him, but I don't even want him mentioning Peeta in front of me.

"I was surprised when I saw him here. Your mother never mentioned that you were seeing someone."

This catches my attention too. As far as I was aware, Gale has been in Boston for over a year, working at some prestigious management firm. I'm sure my mother would have thought to mention seeing him when I spoke to her a few days ago, even with how aloof she can be sometimes.

"You spoke to my mother?" I ask.

"Yeah, she said you've kind of dropped off the radar since you started working out here. You should call her more."

I turn towards him with a glare, and he smirks at me again.

"It's none of your business." I snap as the doors open again.

Gale's fingers curl around my wrist, and he stops my attempt at leaving. I'm yanked backwards toward him, and his other hand falls to my hip to steady me. He squeezes softly before I smack my palm into his chest and push him away from me again.

"I want it to be my business, Katniss. I think about you all the time."

His hand is reaching for me again but I step further away. I turn my back on him and walk out of the building without a backwards glance.

My heart is still hammering in my chest, and I feel tears clouding my eyes as I walk to my car. I drop into the seat, and an anguished moan escapes me. The tears start to fall, and I feel myself losing control. He shouldn't still affect me this much after such a long time, and the fact that he has such a profound affect on my mental state makes my frustration peak as the tears fall faster.

I shake my head and wipe my eyes furiously. I don't have time for him today.

My shift goes fairly quickly, and the six hours I'm on call mainly consist of me waiting around the break room by myself. I use the spare time to catch up on the paperwork I've been ignoring and desperately try to make my mind focus on anything besides Gale.

To make matters worse I haven't heard from Peeta all day, which is something that never happens. He's always sending me random little messages through the day to let me know he's thinking of me even though I rarely reply, and today there's been nothing. He's probably waiting for me to tell him who Gale is, but I don't even know what to tell him.

By the time my shift ends at midnight, I'm beyond being frustrated with the situation. It's one thing for Gale to show up and throw me for a loop, but his mere presence has clearly shaken Peeta up too. I can't bare the thought of him having doubts about the two of us right now.

On the drive home, I consider how I'm going to approach the subject with him. Peeta will want to talk this through, and I'm finally going to have to tell him everything I've been avoiding bringing up since we started over.

I steel my nerves in the elevator, and by the time it arrives on our floor I feel my body thrumming with confidence. The two of us are going to be fine. He knows enough to understand that I haven't had the best luck with relationships. He knows me well enough by now to know I'll talk to him in my own time.

So when the doors in front of me open, and I see Gale loitering in the hallway again, I let the anger he evokes within me override my better judgement and storm towards him with purpose. When he notices me, he looks taken aback- his eyes are wide, and his mouth is hanging open loosely.

Within seconds, I've unlocked my apartment and thrown the door open. I walk inside and hear Gale follow me, closing the door softly behind him.

"You have no right to be here."

My voice is low, and I refuse to look at him. I just want to get this over with as quickly as possible.

"I told you...I've missed you."

I scoff and shake my head. My hands are bracing the majority of my weight against the kitchen counter, and my shoulders slump heavily as I sigh deeply.

"You need to leave. Just go...please…"

I hear his footsteps and tense when his hands land on my shoulders. "You need me, Katniss. And I need you, I can't live without you."

I lean back into his touch slightly, and my back comes to rest against his chest. The warmth of his body radiates over me, and I force myself to move away from him. When I finally turn to face him, he's smiling sadly; he almost looks like the young, carefree boy I fell in love with.

But he's not. And he never will be.

Too much has changed between us to ever even consider the possibility of rekindling whatever still exists between us. His hand moves to run through his hair, and I smile at the familiar gesture.

Peeta does the same thing when he's nervous or tired. My smile widens at the thought of him, and I'm reminded of why I was in such a rush to get home in the first place. I remember seeing his car in the parking lot, so I know he's right across the hall, probably waiting for me to come over and explain this whole thing to him.

Now that Gale has made his true intentions clear, I have no patience for him. I should have known when he showed up here out of the blue that this is what he wanted. He'll tell me everything that he should have told me four years ago when he walked out on me. He'll expect me to fall over myself to accommodate him until he loses interest again, because that's what I always used to do.

I can't explain the hold he has over me, or why my body reacts so strongly to his mere presence, but he was there for me when no one else was. I depended on him for too much, and after he left, I felt like I would never be happy again.

He's right. I did need him.

But I don't now.

"I have someone now."

His face twists with disappointment as I speak. But I continue, anyway, because he needs to hear this just as much as I need to say it.

"It's new and it's different, and I don't want it to end."

He scoffs derisively. "When have you ever known what you want?" His voice is low, and I know he's letting his frustration get the best of him. "The only thing you've ever been sure you wanted is me."

My mouth falls open of its own accord, and I stare at him dumbly for a long moment. The fact that he has the audacity to make such a foolish claim enrages me.

"Go fuck yourself, Gale."

I end up shouting the words directly in his face, and I know he's shocked at my actions. I am too, I'm never this quick to such outright displays of aggression.

"I'd rather fuck you." He mutters with a smirk. "God Katniss, seeing you like this reminds me of when we were together."

"Oh shut up."

"You remember how good I would make you feel, don't you? You know no one else can touch you the way I can...they can't make you feel the things I make you feel."

I cross my arms over my chest and stare at him defiantly. He looks surprised. Usually a comment like that would lead to us tearing each others' clothes off, and I know he was expecting the same reaction today.

He scoffs when I roll my eyes and takes a step towards me. My neck strains as I look up at him, but I refuse to back away. He's not nearly as imposing as he thinks he is.

"You honestly think Blondie is going to stick around when he realizes the kind of woman you really are?"

"He knows exactly who I am."

"Oh Katniss," He begins softly. "if he knew the real you, he wouldn't want anything to do with you."

My eyes fill with tears, and Gale cups my cheek with his palm. I recoil slightly at his touch, and he exhales noisily through his nose when I step out of his reach.

"But I still want you…"

His hand finds my cheek again, and he draws me closer. My hands land on his chest, and I turn my head to avoid his lips as he leans down to kiss me.

"What the fuck is your problem?" He says loudly as he pulls his hands away from me violently.

I stumble back slightly as he moves away from me and grab the kitchen counter to regain my balance.

"I already asked you to leave…" He cuts me off loudly before I can continue.

"You always say that! You know you don't actually want me to go, so why are you even pretending you do!"

He's pacing back and forth in front of me, and I can see his hands clenching and unclenching in anger.

I jump back in shock as his hand falls heavily on the counter either side of me. He leans forward until his face is inches from mine. His face is set in an angry sneer, and I can feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest.

"I think you should take a step back."

My head turns rapidly, and I see Peeta standing in my open doorway. I instantly feel my body sag with relief.

Gale takes a step back and glares at Peeta from across the room. He notices the keys in hanging from the lock in the door and then turns back to look at me.

"Fuck off." Gale says acidly. "This is none of your business."

Peeta simply shrugs. "I make it my business when men speak to women like that. Seriously man, I'm really trying to ignore the threatening behavior you've been exhibiting and give you the benefit of the doubt, but you're going to have to leave."

Gale frowns at his words, and then shakes his head with a small chuckle.

"Your beau talks awful big. Not a man of action I take it?"

I turn back to Gale, and this time I'm the one smirking smugly. "He's a cop, actually. So I'd suggest you listen to him."

His face falls, and he takes another step backwards to put more distance between us.

"I guess I'll come back to talk this through when you don't have a booty call arranged."

"Well I live here, so that might be difficult."

Peeta's voice is quiet as he speaks, and he sounds much calmer than I know he must be feeling. There's a deep blush spreading up the back of his neck, and his jaw is clenching as he closely watches Gale grab his bag and make his way to the door.

"I guess I'll catch you another time, Catnip." Gale says over his shoulder before stalking from the room.

I release a deep sigh as soon as he's out of sight and Peeta walks into my apartment and closes the door. I'm pulled into his arms and sink into him heavily. His fingers run through my hair as my arms wrap around his back and pull him closer to me.

"Your ex?" He asks quietly, pressing a soft kiss to my temple.

"Yes." I reply quietly. "He's an ass."

Peeta chuckles quietly. "I can tell."

We're silent for a moment and simply stand there in each other's embrace.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I pull back from his body and reach to push the hair from my face. I nod as I exhale deeply.

"I don't really know where to start."

Peeta shrugs and walks over to my couch, he sits down and pats the cushion next to him.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." He says as I fall onto the couch next to him. "Might help me out if he shows up again."

I chuckle softly. "I don't think he will…not now that I have a live-in boyfriend." I say pointedly.

He laughs in response and moves a hand to rest on my thigh. "Technically that was the truth! I do live here. Just not, you know, here."

I nod and can't help the smile that spreads as he squeezes my thigh gently.

"He does this sometimes, just shows up out of the blue and thinks I'll that if he says the right thing that I'll let him stay with me for a while."

Peeta nods and looks down at his hands. "Why would he do that? I'd never go and ask my exes for anything."

I scoot across the couch and lay my head on his shoulder. His arm quickly lifts to wrap around my shoulders, and I snuggle my body even further into his.

"He does it because he knows I'll say yes."

Peeta's body tenses against me, and I mentally scold myself for the way I answered his question.

"So he treats you like that, and you let him stay here?"

"He's not staying here." I say softly, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. "I told him he had to leave…"

"I take it that's when he started yelling. I tried to stay away for as long as possible, but I couldn't just sit across the hall and listen to him speak to you like that."

"Thanks for coming over." My voice is low as I speak, and Peeta shrugs in response. He brings his other arm to wrap around my waist, and I relax into him.

His body is warm and familiar, and I'm so glad he's here with me right now.

"I wanted to hit him when I saw you pinned to that counter. You looked so small next to him, and he seems like the kind of guy who would do something stupid…"

"I'm fine." I whisper against his shirt before lifting my head and repeating the words against his ear.

"If something had happened to you I don't know what I would have done." His voice is thick, and I can tell he's trying to keep his emotions in check. "I'll never let anyone treat you like that again...It's not something I can just sit back and ignore...not when…"

He falls silent and shakes his head quickly. His hand tightens around my hip several times before he pulls it away and rubs his eyes. He's refusing to look at me, and a soft sigh of his name escapes me. When he doesn't react I cup my hand around the back of his head and draw it down to rest against my chest.

His body shakes with a heavy sob and wrap my arms tighter around him. I'm not sure where this is coming from. When I was on my way home I assumed Peeta would be pissed with me for not explaining the situation sooner, I never would have guessed our night would have ended up like this.

My hand moves to cup his jaw, and I wipe the tears from his cheek with my thumb. His head turns slightly into me and I feel his lips purse as he presses a kiss to the inside of my wrist.

"I'm sorry." He mutters quietly. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable by talking about this…"

I lift his head up so he's looking at me and smile sadly.

His eyes are bloodshot, the skin surrounding them is red and puffy, the swelling around his lips suggests he's been chewing them in his anxiety, and I lean down to offer him a brief kiss.

I'm surprised when he deepens it, but respond to his eagerness by parting my lips against his and accepting his tongue into my mouth. There's an urgency to his kiss that isn't usually there and when his hand lands on my shoulder and he pushes me to lie back on the couch I realise things are moving too fast.

I can taste the saltiness of his tears as his tongue caresses the length of mine and pull back hesitantly.

He frowns, and then leans down to kiss me again. Before his lips find mine I turn my head to deny his kiss. Peeta lets out a frustrated grunt before planting insistent kisses down my neck and to my collarbone. I sigh at the sensation of his teeth lightly nipping the skin before I come to my senses again and bring my hands to shoulders to push him away.

As he rises to his knees between my splayed legs I see his shoulders slump in defeat.

"I'm sorry." He says quietly. "I don't blame you for not wanting me right now."

My heart constricts painfully in my chest, and I sit up to bring our faces closer together. My forehead rests against his, and I pause for a moment, enjoying the feel of his warm breath against my still tingling lips as he breathes deeply.

"I always want you." I say softly as my hands begin to run up and down his spine slowly. "But we really need to talk before I let you distract me again."

He nods and drops back onto the cushion behind him. My legs are thrown over his lap and his hands land on my shins.

"So what happened when you broke up with Gale?"

"Well, he was my first boyfriend...and I was absolutely crazy about him. He was a couple of years older than me and he rode a motorcycle…"

Peeta chuckles quietly and then taps my shin gently to urge me to continue.

"I kind of knew him because our dads worked together, so I knew who he was, but after they died we ended up in the same group therapy session." I pause and take a deep breath. "I was really depressed and started acting out. I was skipping classes and hanging out with the wrong kind of people. No one noticed my grades slipping or how withdrawn I'd become...but Gale did."

I watch as Peeta nods slowly. His jaw clenches a couple of times before his eyes move over to meet mine. "You want to stop?"

"No, I'm ok. So basically he made sure I started going to school and studying; when I got into pre-med, he was really excited for me and he would visit me all the time at college-"

"When you said he rode a motorcycle I assumed he was a badboy."

I laugh before I can stop myself. "So did I! But he was just really sweet and was there for me when everyone else seemed to be letting me down. But then he started visiting less and the sweet gestures stopped...eventually he'd just text me and said making the trip wasn't worth it when all he got out of it was an average lay. I barely heard from him after that."

Peeta scoffs and rolls his eyes. "You're not the average lay…"

I feel my cheeks flood with heat again, and I know I'm blushing.

"Well, that's your opinion. But back then hearing it destroyed me. No one had been interested in me before, and I couldn't cope with the way it ended. He blocked my number and deleted me from his Facebook. And I handled it badly…"

"So you decided you only wanted casual relationships?" Peeta guesses.

I nod slowly. "I guess...It was more of a 'if I didn't open myself up to people, then I can't let them hurt me' thought. I cut myself off from all my friends and my family, and threw myself into studying. But whenever I had a spare moment, me and Johanna would go out and pick up guys to bring home. Sometimes for one night, and sometimes for a bit longer."

He grimaces slightly with my confession.

"It took months, but I snapped myself out of my funk and I guess I just realized I didn't need anyone as much as I thought I needed him. And the casual thing was really working for me, even though I knew I was hurting people along the way...It became normal. And I like being wanted by so many people."

He frowns again, but I continue with my story regardless.

"But then Gale would always get back in contact and tell me he'd made a mistake…that he wanted me back and would do anything to make it work...and I always believed him."

"So he just kept breaking your heart all over again?"

"In a way. But I kept letting him when I knew what he was like. I guess maybe I was trying to convince myself that we could be happy again...or maybe I just wanted to show him I was more than an average lay."

Peeta smirks again and squeezes my calf muscle gently. "Which you are." He reaffirms with a wink.

I smile in return and nudge my shoulder into his playfully.

His smile falls suddenly and is replaced by a deep frown. He opens his mouth to speak before closing it several times.

"Would you have slept with him if I hadn't shown up?"

"Oh Peeta." I say quietly, maneuvering around him until I was straddling his lap and cupping his jaw in my hands. "I don't want anyone but you."

"But you said…"

"You need to believe me." I interrupt quietly, kissing his forehead as he sighs softly. "You are everything I need...and you are more than enough for me."

"I'd understand if you still wanted to…"

I narrow my eyes at him and shake my head from side to side. He falls silent and looks up at me questioningly. I take another deep breath and smile widely.

"You are perfect to me, Peeta. I'd never do anything to risk losing you, or hurting you, again."

He smiles up at me and lifts his head for a kiss. This time it's me who deepens it and he relaxes back into the couch beneath him as my tongue enters his mouth.

His hands are roaming over my back until he cups my ass and draws me closer to him. Our clothes are gone in a matter of minutes and my hand curls around his growing erection, stroking it eagerly as he thrusts into my touch. I can feel moisture pooling in my centre and know that I'm more than ready for him.

But I want to show him how much he means to me, and do something entirely for his benefit first. Since we officially started dating, Peeta always makes sure I finish first, and it's as frustrating as it is noble.

I drop to my knees on the floor and smile up at him as my hand continues to stroke his shaft. His hand falls to rest on my shoulder before trailing to the back of my head. He doesn't push me forward like I was hoping he would, but he simply rests his hand there heavily as he watches me closely. He sighs happily as my mouth wraps around the head of his dick, and I start bobbing up and down enthusiastically.

Before Peeta, I never used to understand when my friends would describe how turned on they got by pleasuring their boyfriends this way. I didn't mind doing it, but I thought of it as a necessary evil more than an act to be mutually enjoyed. But watching the muscles in Peeta's stomach flex as I work over him, and the way his face flushes to a delicious shade of pink as he strains to watch as much of his cock disappearing into my mouth as possible, has me reaching between my own thighs to circle my throbbing clit.

I know the moment Peeta has seen me touching myself, because his hand tightens to a fist in my hair and his hips buck forward slightly. He starts rambling about how he should be the one touching me and that he wants to feel how wet I am for him. I ignore him for a while and continue to drag my lips up and down him, sucking harder and offering small tongue flicks to his glans in the way I've learned he likes as I pull away from him.

His hand moves to cup my jaw and his thumb wipes away the trail of saliva on my chin.

"Please Katniss...please just...I need to be inside you."

My hand is still wrapped around the base of his shaft and I pump it slowly several times as I watch his chest rise and fall with heavy breaths.

"But I wanted to do this for you."

He groans loudly as he leans forward to place his hands under my armpits, allowing him to hoist me on top of him as he falls back against the couch heavily.

"Next time." He mutters as his lips find mine. My protest is lost as his tongue slips easily into myself and I lose myself in the sensations he evokes within me instead.

His hands run down my stomach to cup my mound as he kisses me and his fingers easily slip through the wetness there until he is pushing two inside me. My hips press down to take them in deeper and he pulls back from our kiss to watch me as I move. His eyes focus on my face and occasionally drop down to my breasts before drifting lower and watching his fingers move inside me.

"How do you want me?"

My eyes snap open and my hips come to a stop at the familiar question. It's been a long time since Peeta last said them to me but I can tell by the smile on his face that he remembers uttering those exact words to me the first time we slept together.

The answer back then had been shallow and inconsiderate, and though he hadn't complained at the time I know that hearing about which position I'd prefer is not what he has in mind right now.

"However I can have you." I answer slowly. "For as long as I can have you."

"You have me." He replies, guiding my body to lie down on the couch. My legs are splayed wide and he easily moves between them, his hands run from my hips down my thighs until he's grasping the backs of my knees and bringing my legs to rest over his shoulders.

He presses a soft kiss to the inside of my ankle as he guides himself into me and I lift my hips to allow him to sink in as deep as he can.

Our movements are unhurried and Peeta's eyes are focused on mine as he thrusts steadily into me. A hand finds my breast and squeezes gently and I arch further into his touch with a content sigh. All I can hear is the sound of Peeta's heavy breathing as his thrusts start to increase in force, he's still moving slowly but there's an edge to his movements that tells me he's getting close.

I watch as he licks a thumb and brings it to circle my clit quickly. He knows my body perfectly and it's exactly what I need.

My hands move to land on his hips and he starts to move more quickly. His eyes are focused on where we're joined as he begins to lose his rhythm slightly. I gasp as he drops my legs from his shoulders and leans over me instead. My legs wrap around his hips as we move together and the change in his movements has me racing towards my climax.

He grunts against my shoulder as I feel him spill inside me and the almost clumsy thrusts he offers, working with the thumb on my clit are enough to send me over the edge.

His body is heavy as it rests against mine. He is still inside me and I can feel his cock twitching every now and then as he catches his breath.

When he lifts up to rest on his elbow and look down at me I'm taken aback by the determined expression on his face and the fact that his eyes are clear and focused.

"I'm not going anywhere." He says deeply, dropping a kiss to my lips. "You don't have to worry about that."

I can do nothing but nod in reply and return his kiss when he lowers his face to mine again.

He pulls back and looks down at me again. My eyes are drawn to the crinkles at the corner of his eyes and I find myself smiling up at him. His tongue peeks out to wet his lips and I feel my heart pounding in my chest.

"I love you."

His mouth drops open at my confession and so does mine. I wasn't planning to say it just yet, even though I know it's been true for a while.

He's silent for a long time. Looking down at me quizzically. But then he laughs in disbelief and the sound, couple with the look of pure joy on his face makes me relax again.

"I love you." He says sincerely, his voice taking on an edge that implies he can't quite believe what he's just heard. "I love you so much."

A/N - Sorry for the delay with updating! Real life has gotten hectic lately and I'm struggle to find time to write.

Hopefully you all enjoyed learning a bit more about Katniss' past.

Also, a big thank you to my beta everlarkcheesebuns for her hard work with editing this monster of a chapter!