A/N: This ended up far longer than I expected, partially because I haven't written in years (the last story I posted on here is probably the last time I wrote) and my mind has apparently forgotten how to write, and also because I am prone to ramble in everyday life. This is set before MITB (I had hoped to get it up before then but typically I had computer problems). Rated M just in case.

I'm half a man at best. With half an arrow in my chest,
I miss everything we do. I'm half a heart without you

The air in the pub is tainted by the smell of cigarettes, but it makes Seth smile despite himself. He remembers the same smell entering his apartment after one of the countless FCW tapings. He hated the smell, but for some reason he didn't mind it when Dean's head fell on his shoulder and he found his nose buried a mess of curls that carried the awful smell. Instead he found himself pushing his nose further into the hair and pressing a kiss against the strands once the older man was asleep. Come to think of it, there are a lot of things about Dean that in any other case he would hate...

Seth shakes his head, catching himself before he falls farther into that box, and follows Randy to the bar.

"What're you drinking?"

"Just a beer." Seth only ever drinks – used to drink – whisky with Dean. He isn't ready to let go of that tradition he holds so close to his heart... even if Dean doesn't feel the same way.

"Can I get 'nother here?" Seth's eyes dart around until they fall on the owner of the voice. Sat at the opposite side of the bar is a man in a plain, black t-shirt and a leather jacket that he loved to steal when the cold was too much for him to handle. Dean's forearms are crossed on the bar, his whole body slumped forward to the point his chin is almost resting against them, "hey! 'nother whisky!"

He doesn't want it to hurt. He doesn't want the sight to cause his chest to ache in the way it does. He doesn't want his arms to twitch and yearn to hold the older man in his arms and never let him go again.

But he never gets what he wants, and tonight is no exception.

"We can go somewhere else if you want?"

"Huh?" Seth drags his eyes away from his former teammate to look at Randy, who has apparently caught onto the situation, "oh! No! Its fine... I don't care." Randy just rolls his eyes.

"Bullshit. You miss him, you care about him. It's all over your face, man." Seth curses inwardly. The last thing he needs is any more reasons for Randy to doubt where his allegiances lie.

"I suppose it's just a bit weird not hanging out with him."

Randy continues to stare at him. Intensely. It makes him squirm uncomfortably in his seat. It's not that he's never been stared at intensely before, so often he was on the receiving end of Dean's stares. But this feels different. Dean's would send shock waves up his spine and cause his brain to fizz.

Randy's feels more like he's been strapped to a metal table and is looming over him with a scalpel, ready to cut inside. It doesn't take long before Randy makes the first incision, "you seem to miss him more than Roman."

Yeah, because he doesn't love Roman. Not like that anyway. He doesn't dream of Roman every night. He doesn't find himself daydreaming about Roman's lips against his. He doesn't jerk off in the shower while imagining Roman's naked body pressed against him. He doesn't sometimes find himself staring at a video he still has saved on his phone where Roman smiles and laughs so openly and happily that it makes Seth's chest swell and ache all at the same time. No. He misses Roman, but the hole Roman's absence has left in his heart is a mere pin-prick in comparison to the crater created by Dean's absence.

"We were just closer. Roman would hang out with Jimmy and Jey so it'd just be us two." Seth says. It isn't technically a lie, "but y'know... whatever."

Randy just nods, but clearly knows there's more to the story. Thankfully, and surprisingly, he doesn't push Seth on the subject. He doesn't even comment when Seth finds himself staring across the bar on several occasions.

About an hour passes before they stop serving Dean. To the surprise of nobody who is familiar with drunken Dean, he begins to kick up a fuss. There was a time when Seth would take Dean's face in his hands and talk to him calmly until the wild fury in his eyes began to die down. But he can't do that. Not anymore. Not when he's still trying to convince Randy that he can be trusted and that he isn't trying to thwart the Authority.

Because he isn't.

But he didn't jump ship because he wanted to be a part of Triple H's little posse either.

"You should probably phone Reigns and get him to come down here before your boy gets himself arrested." Seth's eyes snap back to Randy. His mouth falls open to respond, but words fail him. Did he just encourage him to phone Roman? Did he just call Dean his boy? All Seth can do is nod. He draws his phone out of his pocket and takes a deep breath. This won't be a pleasant conversation.

The phone rings once, twice, three times before the voice on the other end appears.

"What the fuck do you want?" Seth tries not to flinch. Roman has never spoken to him with such venom. His chest aches all over again.

"Uh, Dean's here in the hotel bar. He's – he's fighting with the bar staff because they won't give him another drink. I think you should come get him before gets himself arrested." He can hear Roman curse, followed by the sound of sheets rustling.

"Pretty damn ironic that the only person who seems to know how to calm him even when he's drunk and angry is the reason he's drunk and angry, isn't it?" Roman doesn't give Seth a chance to even take a breath before hanging up.

Dean is the first person he sees when he steps through the door – drunk, angry and determined to fight anyone and everyone in sight. No doubt he'll be paying another bill for damages to the hotel room in the morning. He begins to close the distance between himself and his teammate, but the all too familiar sight of two-toned hair stops him dead in his tracks.

"Are you happy now?" He barks at Seth. Roman can feel the anger building within him. Seth jumps and tears his eyes away from Dean, but Roman doesn't allow the exchange to continue. He can't afford to get into an argument right now. Not when his brother needs looking after. He quickly marches over to his friend and grabs his arm, "c'mon, Hunter'll be pissed if he finds out you've been kicking off in public. Don't need to give him any more excuses to hate us."

"No no, 'm fine Ro, jus' – jus' lemme go."

"Can't do that man, sorry." He dips his shoulder and throws Dean over it, not paying attention to the loud protests and hands slapping at his back. He strides out of the pub, ignoring Seth's stare as he passes them. How dare he? How dare he phone him as if he cares? Seth proved he doesn't care about him or Dean the day he decided to beat them with a steel chair. And how dare he pretend to care while he's sat all chummy with Randy fucking Orton of all people?

Getting Dean back to their room proves harder than he first thought. He would ask Seth how he managed all the nights this was his job if he didn't have such a strong urge to punch the younger man at the mere thought of his back-stabbing face. When he reaches the lift and steps inside, he drops Dean to the floor. Dean instantly leans against him, still cursing the bar staff though thankfully he isn't swinging his fists anymore. Maybe their room will survive the night undamaged.

"Seth was in the bar y'know." Dean slurs, head lolling to face him.

"I know."

"Was with that – that – that creampuff."

"Yeah."

"Y' think they're fucking?" There's a ding before the doors slide open.

"What? I don't know Dean. Look just – no not that way, c'mere." With one hand locked around Dean's wrist to stop him wandering the wrong way, he manages to – eventually – get them to their room and slip the card into the door. He shuffles Dean inside quietly and closes the door.

Randy glances over at Seth and sighs heavily. He doesn't trust Seth at all. How can he? He was willing to betray the men he called brothers for two years, so how can he honestly believe the same won't happen to him? Not that he's scared of the younger man. More he isn't certain of his intentions yet and he prefers not be blindsided by a steel chair.

But just because he doesn't trust Seth, doesn't mean he doesn't feel sorry for him. He can tell betraying, and consequently losing, Reigns and Ambrose has hurt him. Especially losing Ambrose. Just the way he looks at the other man makes it clear that their relationship extended past the point of brotherly love. Randy knows all too well how the other man must be feeling. Maybe he's had one too many drinks, or maybe he's going soft as he grows older, but there's a little voice in the back of his mind encouraging him to at least try and bring some comfort to the younger man. And for whatever reason, he always listens to those voices. Even if they make no sense to him.

"Were you and Dean together?" It comes out more abrupt than he had planned. Seth chokes on his beer.

"W-what? Me and – together? No! No, not at all. No." Seth splutters, still half choking on his drink. Randy has to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He makes a mental note to teach the kid how to lie convincingly in the future.

"Seth, I don't care if you were. Not like I have much room to judge." Seth opens his mouth to protest again, but stops as the words register.

"You... you're dating someone on the roster? A guy?"

"Yeah... Cody. That's why, y'know... I was wondering if you and Dean had something going on. You're miserable, clearly broken up over it, and whatever 'it' was, it was definitely more than just some brotherhood or whatever you guys called it. But yeah... me and Cody had our problems, I had to think about my career and y'know how it went down. But eventually we sorted it out, and you'll sort it out with Dean too."

He's never told anyone about his and Cody's relationship before. Only those closest to them are aware. Not even Hunter knows about it. But he sees Seth's eyes brighten a bit and... it feels pretty good to know he's made him feel better, even if only a little.

"That... thanks," Randy just waves it off, "I hope so. But me and Dean... we were never–" Seth sighs, shaking his head, "he doesn't know, y'know, that I'm in love with him... didn't wanna ruin our friendship... but I suppose we don't always get what we want."

Randy furrows his eyebrows, "you say it like you didn't have any other choice."

Seth finishes the last of his drink before shrugging, "I felt like I didn't... It wasn't so much a career move. We always agreed that if one of us wanted to leave to do our own thing we'd be cool with that and stay brothers but... I was scared and when Hunter made the offer I took it without really thinking. I was stupid enough to think if I was away from Dean, I'd – I'd stop being in love with him. But…"

"You still love him and now you've lost him completely." Seth nods and drags his finger around the rim of the glass, "you should tell him. Or at least tell Roman. They think you did it because you wanted to betray them. Tell them the truth and maybe you can fix this."

Seth shakes his head, "too late for that. They won't even give me the time of day. I tell them the truth... man, they're gonna think I'm just winding them up. I don't think I could handle putting myself out there only to be shot down completely." Randy sighs and nods. He decides to drop the conversation. For now. But he knows – hell, Seth knows – that it's not over. He sees too much of Cody in Seth. So much so he feels he already kind of knows the kid, maybe even has a bit of a soft spot for him. And Randy is determined to fix this mess.

Christ. He really is getting softer with age.

A/N: Sorry about the awkward ending, I wasn't sure how to tie it off. Influence for this story is Half a Heart by One Direction (oh hush they're my guilty pleasure). At the moment there's going to be 3 parts to this story, but I won't hold myself to that just in case!

Any reviews would be much appreciated! Until next time!