A/N: Hi everyone! I wrote this piece for The Quidditch League, Round 6 as a substitute for Beater 1. The assignment was to write a letter to someone you don't know very well. My prompts are in the ending author's note :)

Petunia Dursley,

As I've only met you once and I doubt your pitiful, self-centered brain can remember back to your only sister's wedding, I'll introduce myself. My name is Sirius Black. I went to school with Lily and was best mates with her husband, James. You remember him, don't you? I'm sure you do. He was the one who "died in a car crash", yes?

As James' best friend, I was also named Harry's godfather when he was born. I'll have you know, Petunia, that while I was incapable of looking after Harry for the past fourteen years, I am here now. I may be unable to obtain custody of my godson for the moment, but as soon as that matter is sorted out, I will take him from you and you will never see him again. Until such day, however, I will be monitoring your treatment of the boy—not through reports from Harry, not through occasional visits, but through constant observation. Harry has and always will be my main priority, Petunia, so I suggest that you adjust your behavior towards him immediately.

From what I've heard about you, I'm sure you're scoffing at this letter now, wondering why I'm demanding such things and why I expect you to abide by my advices. After all, you have complete guardianship of Harry and I've been out of the picture for the past fourteen years. Well, Petunia, the simple answer is this: I recently gained my freedom after spending the last decade in prison for murder—murder that was allegedly committed out of anger on the night that James and Lily died. You were given the child that I have loved since day one while I rotted in a cell, praying for a way to see my godson. You wasted the chance to spoil and care for this boy while I longed to do just that. We both failed him, Petunia, but you are the one who did so by choice, and I assure you that I will be very angry if I find that Harry continues to be mistreated. Is that enough of an incentive for you, Dursley, or should I pay a visit to you and your lard of a husband to make sure that we have an understanding?

Now that I've gone so far as to make demands and threaten you and your family, I'm positive that you're wondering why you haven't put this blasted letter down. Well, that's an easy-enough inquiry to answer. As you've noticed, I had this correspondence delivered to you personally by a young man during your monthly garden party. As I'm sure you also noted, it's addressed to "My dearest Petunia" from "Aunt Cecily". If you disregard this letter now, while all of your neighbors are watching, you will have to allude to a disturbance in your familial happiness. I can just imagine the comments that would flow around Privet Drive for the weeks following such a discovery. "Can you believe she ignored a letter from her aunt? I don't know what's gotten into Petunia!" "What could Petunia's dear old auntie have said to upset her so?" "Maybe Petunia has disgraced her family somehow! Do you think she's been written out of her Aunt Cecily's will?" It would make for lovely conversation, I'm sure, and a rather lonesome week for you—so why don't you just burn this letter and let the fun begin?

Let's go over some guidelines, shall we?

Harry will do no more than the same amount of chores that your fat lug of a son completes.

He, Harry, will be given food or drink whenever he asks, without exception.

The quality of all that Harry receives will be the same as what you give your son.

You will allow Harry to keep all of his school supplies with him for the duration of the summer and give him ample time to complete his coursework.

Neither you, your husband, nor your son will lay a hand on Harry in any way. Touch my godson, Petunia, and you will quickly regret it.

Harry will receive a birthday cake and present from you, come July, and you will give them with a smile. (Just as you should be smiling right now, mind you. This is your auntie, is it not?)

You will keep tabs on my godson and make sure that he is safe. Harry needs his space, but I assure you, any harm that comes to him will be returned to you threefold.

Are we clear, Petunia? Good—now smile on, my dear.

Shall we address another grievance of mine?

It has come to my understanding that you still, after all these years, do not think highly of Lily and James. To be frank with you, Petunia, I don't give a hippogriff's tuchus whether or not you like them or understand the bravery behind their deaths. My only concern is this: Your opinions of your sister are voiced too blatantly in front of my godson. He is a child, and his memories of his parents are nearly nonexistent as it is—he does not need your petty bitterness to oppress his opinion of them. However, since you are incapable of acting as a responsible, tactful adult, let's go back to nursery school: If you don't have anything kind to say, don't say anything at all. I will protect my godson, Petunia, both against your actions and your opinions. Do not test me on this. You will not appreciate the outcome.

With those parameters set and your attention gained, I will take my leave. I will be watching, Petunia, and I assure you, I will settle only for the best for Harry.

Now, cheer up, dearest. Auntie has just received word that her operation will take place two weeks from now, and is promised to feel better after a mere two days of recovery. You're glad for this—things have been unfortunate for her for far too long.

All my love,

Aunt Cecily

A/N: I hope y'all enjoyed this :) My prompts were jealousy (emotion), lonesome (word), and freedom (word). Thanks for reading and if you have the time, I'd love some feedback! Both praise and criticisms are welcomed :)